As passion filled the royal bed-chamber and the night calm was pierced by gasps and lustful moans, something rustled in the crown of the tree right next to the balcony. Hidden in the thick foliage, the shadowy observer clicked his tongue, put the little magnification tube he was using in his breast pocket, and gave his best to ignore the couple’s exploits as a burning sensation started to engulf his cheeks. He closed his eyes and tried to calm himself. He wasn’t peeping. Well, technically, he was, but the aim justified the means. And from the information he managed to gather, it looked like the Second Prince’s web spread further than anticipated.

A loud cry escaped the open window, making the man in the tree flinch.

Damn it! Next time, Leopold was going to be the one climbing like a monkey in the middle of the night and spying on his lecherous nephew. In his early fifties, the honorable Primate was just as agile as a thirty-year-old. And he knew for a fact that the revered leader of the Night Brothers hid a body like a brick beneath that black habit of his, so he was more than capable of such feats. Besides, with the magnification tube, Leopold could lip-read just as well as he could despite his weak eyes, so no excuse there.

Gritting his teeth, the spy prepared to slide down the tree and leave the two lovebirds to their affairs. Just as he stretched his foot to a nearby branch, a bubble of light followed by rhythmical steps announced the arrival of the night patrol. The worst part was that the two guards decided to make a stop in their round exactly under his tree.

‘By the grace of the Saints, may your nether parts remain forever frigid! Why here? Why now of all times?! You are swarming the place like cockroaches tonight!’ the spy cursed silently as he hung between the branches. Unfortunately for him, the guards were in no hurry to leave.

“His Highness is diligently at work,” whispered one of the men, leaning on his halberd and spitting on the ground. “The place will be getting lively again.”

“No doubt,” his comrade looked up at the balcony and for a second the spy’s heart froze. Luckily, the watchman was too preoccupied listening to the spectacle in the imperial bed-chamber to concern himself with the foliage. “Who do you think it is this time? Some chambermaid? Or a thirsting noble daughter?”

“Whoever. It’s none of our business.”

“Don’t be so grumpy. At least one of the princes is showing some vigor.”

“Watch your mouth!”

“It’s the truth. The Crown Prince’s palace is as dead as a graveyard. Ha, imagine if it is the Crown Princess in there!”

“Shush, do you want our heads to fly!?” A low clang indicated a metal helmet being struck by a gloved hand.

“What? If you were a young, beautiful woman married to a dying man, wouldn’t you look for someone to console you during the lonely nights?”

“You really wish to get us killed!” snapped his friend but then quietly added after a short pause: “May the Gods forgive me, but it is time the Emperor officially relieves the First Prince from his position. Maybe as a Crown Prince, His Highness Lionel will also calm down and settle.”

“Nah, then the Crown Prince’s firstborn would be the next in line, not Prince Lionel.” The other guard started drawing obscene pictures in the gravel with the pole of his halberd. “And the poor kid is just as sickly as his father, I’ve heard. The second child, on the other hand, is a little lion cub but only five years old. So Prince Lionel can be regent at best. Unless, Gods forbid, something happens to both little princes.”

“Gods forbid! But the Heavens must be having a laugh – giving Limeria’s Lion sickly firstborns and healthy seconds.”

“Thirds you mean.” The artistic guard put some final touches and marveled at his creation. “Both His Highness Lionel and little Prince Leoris are technically thirds. The Crown Prince's first son was stillborn. And don't forget, that northern Beast is also of the imperial bloodline.”

“Can you even call the fruit of an unholy union with a slave an imperial prince?” his friend snorted.

“I’ve heard that his mother was supposedly a stunning beauty.”

“A witch more likely, to make the Emperor forget his Empress.”

“Hey, maybe Prince Lionel brought some exotic beauty from the South after the campaign too? Like the Emperor that time.” There was clear longing in the man’s hushed voice. And just in time, a drawn moan escaped from the open window, making him flinch before he continued. “I… I heard that the women down south walk around with almost no clothes. Only some tree leaves on their hips and often not even that. And they don’t have any inhibition to a man’s touch and are ready to do it even in broad daylight! And not even the White Priests are able to resist their temptation.”

“You are blabbering nonsense. The Light Brothers are above earthly temptations.”

“You think? Have you seen the Pure Maidens under Primate Ambrosinus? I've heard that they, as keepers of the holy artifacts, are supposed to be unblemished but can you believe it? Impeccable skin and bodies like willow branches, tucked in those white robes that make them look prim and proper until you see the seductive flame in their eyes. Who knows what the Primate teaches them in the small hours of the night.”

“Shut that blasphemous mouth before the Two Gods punish you!” hissed his friend. “This is not a way to talk about a holy man and our future Pope!”

“Honestly, I would gladly put on the habit if they allow me to guide such lost souls. I would make them kneel all night and pray…”

“But you are stuck with your crone. I’ve heard that she doesn’t even let you sleep in the same bed after you got her belly full again.”

“So what? Have you ever been to the ‘House of Flowers’ on Red Street? One taste of the girls there and you will forget about that preachy attitude. And recently, they have imported new goods – White Elves! Fire and ice in one, I tell you!”

“Ha, right. And next, you’ll tell me you were lying with mermaids. Enough. It is getting quiet inside. We should keep going.” The guard elbowed his comrade and howled the halberd over his shoulder.

“Want to bet?” his friend huffed and started dragging his feet. “Skin and hair like snow, eyes like oceans, waists so thin that you can break them with a single touch but in reality – real wild cats.”

“Why do you even bother with demons that can curse you and turn your insides out? Or are you telling me that the Church has started spreading holy artifacts to brothels so that lechers like you can scratch their itch with some unholy beings?”

“Oh, no. The ‘House of Flowers’ has only quality goods – well-trained, safe, and completely church-free. When you buy a white one, you also get a vial with some golden liquid. As long as you share the potion with her, the bitch will obediently squeeze you dry till morning.”

“You know you are disgusting?”

“Bah, be honest, you want to try it too. Well, they also have boys if you prefer…”

“Shut your dirty trap and move, before we get in trouble.”

The two men strode away, taking the light and their lustful thoughts with them. Hanging in the branches, the spy sighed in relief but, at the same time, his mind was quickly assessing the information. Ambrosinus being rumored as the next Pope left a bitter aftertaste, especially knowing all the gruesome things he and his White Priests did “in the name of the Church”. Funny how all people feared the Night Brothers who spilled their blood in honest fights against the enemies of the Church, but that snake and his band of perverts could do atrocities under the banner of reeducation and conversion of heretics. The spy bit his lips remembering his own short career with the White Brothers in his naïve youth, thinking that he can spread the teachings of the Two Fathers with love and compassion to the lost souls. What he had seen during conversion ceremonies still gave him nightmares. Whole tribes burned because they denied taking the Church’s teachings; people tortured until they converted with their last breath.

The spy gave a silent prayer to the Saints for guiding him to Leopold and the Night Brothers just on time. They restored his faith in the Two Gods. Showed him that not the teachings but the men behind them were wrong. Protecting pilgrim routes, guarding the holy places, hunting malicious magic that threatened to harm the innocents, venturing into the most dangerous and remote territories to save the souls of the needy – that was the task blessed by the Two Fathers, not that disgusting false holiness.

Feeling anger swelling inside, the spy took some heavy breaths and calmed his emotions. Now wasn’t the time to ponder over the matters. Not while dangling in front of an imperial bedroom in the middle of the night. He waited a grueling couple of minutes to be sure that the watchmen are far enough and unable to see or hear him. Then he waited even longer, in case they decided to turn around and backtrack on their route. As time passed, nothing happened. The light breeze rustled in the leaves and the song of the crickets had become loud enough to mask his movements. Just as he was about to continue his climb down the tree, a shrill scream tore through the night.

“No! You can’t do this to me!”