I awoke, covered in sweat and bandages (but nothing in the way of clothes) in my bed. One eye was covered in those bandages, while my left arm was fully covered in a cast. I tried to move, but my body simply wouldn’t allow it, I felt like I was one massive bruise.

Before I attempted to move again, Seren was at my side, gently pushing on my shoulders to keep me still. They said, “Marlene says that you need at least a couple days bed rest. You got fucked up pretty bad out there.”

I nodded and attempted to talk, but found my throat unresponsive. Seren swiftly got me a glass of water, which I drank from gratefully. They then offered me a spoonful of soup, which I drank vigorously. Even that small sip worked its way through my erg veins, rebuilding them marginally, but restoring a bit of function to my wreckage of a form.

“What happened to you?” They asked as they claimed a seat at my side.

I nodded towards the soup and they slowly fed me another bite. As the warmth settled in my body, I found the strength to speak, my voice still raspy. “Fucked myself up, really. Pushed myself too hard, but, hey, we won.”

“We did.” Seren said the words solemnly.

I frowned and it pulled on muscles that I didn’t know could hurt in ways that they did. “How many did we lose?”

“Jen is still recovering. Stacey used her magic thing to create a temporary bandage out of mud, otherwise she would have bled out. Fortunately, Marlene was able to stabilize her.” They fed me another spoonful of soup. “Won’t be doing any strenuous activity for a while, though.”

“The others?”

“They’re fine. Artemis is a bit, well, understandably upset about Jen’s condition,” they said, “but I figure that she’ll be fine eventually. Everyone else got some minor scrapes and bruises, but they’re pretty much patched up already.”

“Good.” I leaned back and closed my eyes. “Chad’s men?”

“Five surrendered and are under supervision. Five ran off after Chad died. Six died.”

“Including Chad?” I said. Seren nodded at my question and I closed my eyes thoughtfully. “Six dead. More than I wanted.”

“Yeah, well, it’s not like they gave us much choice in the matter.” Seren’s voice had taken on a bitter edge, and I looked up with concern. They shook their head and offered a conciliatory smile. “I just don’t like seeing the people I care about being hurt. If they had been less assholes, maybe this whole situation could have been avoided.”

“Yeah.” I felt tears slowly welling in my eyes, though I wasn’t entirely sure why. “Yeah. Fuck.” The tears began to flow more freely then, streaming down my cheeks. “Sorry, I just. This whole thing sucks. The whole ‘why’ of it all is nonsense, the inability of people to simply be better. And the fact that I had to do what I did.” I trembled as much as my muscles would allow.

Seren’s gentle touch to my cheek brought me back to the moment and I stared up into their eyes for a long long moment. Finally, they said. “It’s okay. It’s done, and you’re okay. I’m okay. We’re okay.”

“I knew that Chad would have to be taken down. I wish I hadn’t had to kill him, but he had allowed his ideology to poison his psyche to a point that reason wasn’t an option.” I sighed so hard that my chest hurt. “But his followers, I had hoped to reach them, to prevent this from becoming a bloodbath.”

“Five of them are here. The five who ran, they might come around eventually.” Seren’s reasoning was wrapped in a gentleness that brought relief to my aching bones.

“Five of them are dead. Can’t bring them around ever.” I swallowed and closed my eyes again. “But. I guess. That’s the world we live in now.”

“It shouldn’t be.” They caressed my cheek again.

“It shouldn’t be.” I echoed.

“Let’s build something better.” Seren said with a bit more fierceness than I was expecting. “Let’s stop this from happening again.”

I nodded as firmly as I could. “How are the five that joined up adjusting?”

That brought out a soft laugh. “They’re all apparently buddies with Hank, and they’re working with him, the fighters, and Tina of all people in getting more incorporated. It seems that they don’t feel right talking back to a mom. Right now, she has them doing some manual labor to get adjusted to living here.”

“Speaking of, how’s the wall doing?” I attempted to sit up, but swiftly gave up on the effort.

“Good,” Seren said. “Karla has taken lead there, and with everyone working together, repairs have gone really smoothly. Everything else has been going well, too. We had our first grain harvest this morning, and we’ve already made some bread.”

My stomach grumbled. “It feels like it’s been years since I’ve had a good loaf. I feel like that would really hit the spot right now.”

“Marlene has you down for liquids only right now. She did some sort of full body scan, and said that until you can stand, it’s soup only to eat.”

“At least it’s good soup.” I offered them a small grin before settling back down. “How long has it been?”

Seren hesitated for a moment, before speaking softly. “Four days.”

I half expected myself to panic, but I didn’t. The revelation of time’s passing made sense to me, I was just grateful that the erg made me resistant to the kind of long term damage that such a coma might have had on a person pre-system. “Cool.” My eyes slowly drifted closed. “Think I’m going to catch a quick nap. Things haven’t exploded so far, they probably won’t if I get some more sleep.”

If Seren said anything in response, I didn’t hear it, having already drifted off into the depths of sleep.

The next time I awoke, I was strong enough to make it down to the cafeteria with the aid of a cane. I also was able to put some clothes on, which helped to conceal the still healing bruising and the occasional tremble in my limbs. On the plus side, Marlene was waiting for me there, and cleared me to have some bread with my new serving of soup. The fighters had done a great job in keeping the larder full of fresh meat, and we even had our first eggs available.

The bread was surprisingly filling and went a long way in speeding my erg recovery. The conversation around the tables was kept light, even with a few of Chad’s former followers handling food service. The throbbing wound had been exposed, but the death of Chad was a strange sort of medicine, reducing the pain of the moment, and transforming it into a space of potential healing. That said, no one wanted to poke at it too much.

So instead, the conversation moved to subjects of food yields, of the need for additional processing tools (needs that were already being handled by the manufacturing team), and of the small gossip that appears whenever people gather together in numbers. I spent some time chatting idly with a man named Brian, who it turned out was Edith’s son. He seemed happier than most to be reunited with the group, and willing to make the amends necessary.

I realized slowly through the meal that despite the subdued environment, that everyone was doing alright. Despite being out of commission for as long as I had, nothing had fallen apart, the structure of the community remained intact. I ate and I listened, not contributing much, but emptying multiple bowls of soup and going through practically a whole loaf on my own. I was still somewhat hungry when I finished, but it was a pleasant feeling to be so fully suffused in that warmth of satiation.

Artemis was waiting for me as I exited from the cafeteria. She said, “We need to talk.” At the sudden widening of my eyes and paling of skin, she let out a laugh. “Nothing bad. Just, Jen isn’t up for leaving the room just yet, but she has a plan that she wants to run by you.”

I nodded in understanding and we went up to Artemis and Jen’s room, Seren continuing to follow along, which Artemis didn’t seem to mind. In the room, Jen was slowly going through a series of stretches. They seemed like tai chi, but I didn’t know enough to say for sure.

When we stepped in, though, Jen brought her exercise to a close and took a moment to brush away the sweat from her brow. “Oh hey. Glad to see you up and about.” She flopped down on her bed and the rest of us took seats nearby.

“I heard that you have some plan you want to run by me.” I leaned in, resting my elbows on my knees, studying Jen carefully. She seemed fine, mostly, though didn’t seem to be breathing as deeply as she might otherwise, and winced with the occasional movement.

“Yeah,” Jen said. “So, I got my ass kicked real easy back there. Sure, I held my own for a while, but when Chad turned his full energy on me, there was nothing I could do.”

“Well, that’s not your fault,” I began.

Jen interrupted me with a shake of her head. “Yeah, I know. He was strong, way stronger than any of the rest of us. We got lucky that nobody died.” She glanced at me, almost as if expecting me to disagree. When I nodded, she continued. “Yeah, we had a lot of contingencies ready, and that showed your power. What I need to do is figure out how to maximize my own power.”

I frowned, leaning in a bit further. “You’re already way stronger than the rest of us, Jen.”

“Yeah, but I’m Chosen.” She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “And you’re not a combat Chosen, so you’re not really a valid comparison, but look at what you’ve built here, what you’ve done. I should be able to do similar things, but for fighting.”

“So, what is your plan?” I took in a deep breath, having some idea of what she was going to say.

“I gotta get out of here. There’s plenty of protection available here, you have a lot of defenders, you have a lot of defense. People know what they’re doing,” Jen said. “And you don’t need me around.”

“I want you around,” I said quietly.

Jen laughed at that, an earnest laugh that ended with a wince as she rubbed her collar bone. “Yeah, I want to be around too. I’m not going to go away forever.”

“But you need more vestiges.”

“But I need more vestiges.” Jen agreed, and glanced over to Artemis who took a seat next to her. “Once I’m up to full condition, I want to hit the road, and try to find more vestiges for me to bind. They’re out there, waiting for me, but they’re not going to come here.”

There was no denying the truth to her words, though I did spend some time trying to find an appropriate counter argument in my head. Finally, I shook my head, a smile on my lips. “You’re right, you’re right. I’ll design a vehicle for you to use. Something in an ATV.” I offered her a quick grin. “I want you to be back as quickly as possible.”

Artemis and Jen both nodded at that. “I have plans of my own,” I said “and sadly they won’t be able to wait for you to get back. Fortunately, I think these comms will be able to work over a long range. Which is good, because I’m also planning to get out of here for a while.”

I looked between Seren, Artemis, and Jen, before finally resolving myself and speaking the thoughts that had been brewing in my head for a while now. “I need to go back to my alma mater.”