He's not here when I wake again.

And I don't know whether to feel disappointed or relieved. Half of me wishes he was here now, but the other half takes me back to last night.

I flush in embarrassment as I groan softly, pressing my cold fingertips against swollen, red eyes. I can barely open them, with how puffy they are.

But the longing soon overwhelms everything.

I wish he were here.

My gaze sweeps over the empty chair, set next to my bed. Then I look down, at my open palm. My fingers slowly fold in a gentle fist.

I can still feel the traces of his warmth.

Where is he?

The soft morning light coming through the curtains illuminate the room in a faint blue glow. The candle is burnt out from last night, the tip completely smoldered black.

There's no clock in here.

Then the door clicks open. And my eyes widen, expecting V.

But the man who comes in isn't him.

From first glance at his pale coat and glasses perched on top of his nose, I can tell he's a doctor. The nurse besides him is a young woman, her dark hair pinned back in a neat bun.

The doctor is a nice man. He smiles at me, asks me if I'm doing alright. Then he starts telling me about how exactly bad the wound had been.

"The surgery took over half a day, but we were able to get everything out," He says, with a warm smile. "You took a hard hit, Miss Shin. But it all went well."

Then he checks off something from his clipboard, before turning back to me.

"And no worries about the cost. A young gentleman paid for the entire bill. He introduced himself as your guardian."

A pain squeezes through my chest.

Taehyung.

The doctor starts talking again. But my mind is thick of the same clouds from last night. My throat feels knotted, as if I might just burst into crying helplessly again.

I'd never been such a crybaby.

So why was I...

"Where is he?" I murmur.

He glances upwards. "Hm?"

"Do you know where he is?" I repeat, as the nurse adjusts some machines beeping around my bed. "The guy. Who paid for me."

He shakes his head. "I'm not sure, miss. I—"

"He left late at night yesterday," The nurse suddenly interrupts, her brows furrowed. "He looked like he was in a hurry. He may be back today, Miss Shin. The visitor times will open very soon."

In a hurry?

"...thank you." I say. She nods, and the doctor continues his toneless monologue.

Rest is necessary for at least two weeks. Discharge will be possible at around that time, but until then, you must devote yourself completely to healing, Miss Shin. Any excessive physical activity will...

It felt like I was using him.

For his money. His body.

His heart.

Now that I think about it, he must've known.

That day when I'd taken his offer to move to the Skygrounds. I'd been so different then— so eager to take revenge and drain him of everything he had. Since then, I'd used him just like I'd promised myself to.

He must've known all this time.

He'd just let me.

He'd let me use him. He'd left me to think I was getting what I wanted, making him think the way I'd wanted him to think.

A stuttered breath escapes my lips.

Why.

He wasn't even family. He didn't know me. All he'd known me was from six years ago, for a couple days that I'd stayed with him as a bratty little girl. That's all he knew me from.

I snap out of my daze.

The room is empty yet again. Both the doctor and the nurse had left, and the door is closed. Everything's exactly how it had been before they had come in, the wavering sunlight and the soft silence.

And the longing comes back, flooding in heavier waves than before.

________________________________

She puts a finger to her lips.

"Shh. He's asleep now. I think." She says, with a skeptical look as she bends forward, staring at his motionless expression for a long second.

"Yup." She concludes, tucking back her hazel locks behind her ear as she nods, more to herself than me. "I think I did a pretty good job with all the bandages and stuff, just in case you're worried. He's just really tired."

I can't speak.

The words seem to have frozen on my tongue.

I can only stand there, as Miss Rin fills up the silence. It feels as if I've almost forgotten how to be angry— how to even think.

My father had actually touched Jungkook.

He'd tried to kill him. Throw him out in the cold, on the forest floor. Had even sent soldiers to finish him completely, after he'd scarred the side of his head and rubbed alcohol into the wound.

He knew how much Jungkook meant to me.

There would be no excuse for this.

"Where— Where are you going?" I hear Miss Rin call out as I turn to leave. "Are you going to Aeri? I was just about to ask if you could go to her. She must've woken up by now and..."

"Miss Rin."

She blinks.

"Y-Yeah?"

"Thank you," I whisper. "You could've died last night, for what you chose to do. Jungkook owes his life to you."

She stares, before flushing in embarrassment. "I mean— I didn't think it was going to be that dangerous, you know. And he made a promise to me that I wanted to make sure that he kept, so it was just that. Not really anything else."

I set down a black card on top of the nightstand.

"When he wakes," I whisper. "Could you take him somewhere far from here? It doesn't matter where, Miss Rin. As long as it's not this hospital."

"Wait, what? Why? Is it because of—"

"I'm sorry that I can't stay explain why." I say. "But will you please do that? Take him somewhere safe? Preferably a hotel. And check in with your name."

She seems skeptical. But who wouldn't be?

"...okay."

"Thank you." I murmur, before leaving the room. The moment the door shuts, a wave of dizziness sweeps through me.

Never.

Never had I seen Jungkook this vulnerable.

The fact that my father had tried to kill him was a direct ultimatum. That either that I bent down to his will and stayed silent and obedient, or had everyone that I kept around me killed. This had been his first move.

My jaw flexes.

He probably knew that Jungkook had survived. Even now, he must be scouring every hospital within the area for him.

My father never left anything unfinished.

But the next target he'd turn to was Jimin.

He answers on the second ring.

"...hello?"

"Jimin," I murmur, steps brisk as I stride out of the hospital. The air chills my face. "Where are you?"

"At home. Is Jungkook okay?"

I wince. "He'll be fine."

"Shit. So he did get hurt? Was it your father?"

"Yeah."

"Which hospita—"

"I've asked Miss Rin to take him somewhere else. He isn't safe there and neither are you— my father knows where we live. You have your card, don't you?"

"Mhm."

"Go somewhere safe. I'll call you again."

There's a moment of silence before his quiet voice echoes over the line.

"And you?"

"What are you going to do, Tae?"

My eyes flicker. I didn't know either. All I had was only a blurry outline, slowly forming in my mind. Even if I wanted to tell him, I couldn't. I wouldn't know what to say.

My lips press together in silence.

And there's a soft, heavy sigh.

"Tae,"

"Please don't do anything too dangerous."

"...I won't."

The call clicks. For a second I find myself just standing there, my arm dropped back to my side. My eyes wander aimlessly over the lines of the city.

What should I do.

What should I do, to prevent this from happening.

To prevent losing it all. Will the choices I make lead everyone to their deaths?

I don't know.

I run a heavy hand down my face.

Even the first step, seems to open to ruin.