‘Man, it’s as if you ran into a ghost instead of just two friends. Had a bad day?’ Angela asked when Michael finally came out of the kitchen, almost bumping into her and Megan.

‘Eh, no, I just didn’t expect it.’ He mumbled dismissively.

‘Anyway, I was keeping Megan company until you turned up, but you’re later than I thought and I have to go to the Ghost Town now. They have a farm sale and I need fresh choy cabbages and carrots, so see you later.’ Angela said.

She disappeared before he knew what happened, and suddenly he stood there with just Megan, still struggling to find words.

‘Finally!’ she said, but he just looked at her.

She looked very different now, in her grey office clothes and with only shoulder-long hair, and no words came out of his mouth. ‘

Lost your tongue, Michael’ She said, and he tried to shrug casually when he regained his speech.

‘Eh, no, I was a bit lost in my thoughts, and I didn’t expect to see, well, you here.’

Her face almost lighted up when he answered.

‘I’m glad that I finally get to see you, Michael. I haven’t seen you yet since the whole incident,’

‘I know,’ he mumbled, and her expression became more grave.

‘It’s been several weeks already since they let you out of that cell, and you didn’t even try to contact me. Are you avoiding me, Michael?’

He sighed. ‘Don’t take it personal, Megan. I’m trying to avoid everyone. People are too much for me now. I’m just bad at avoiding persistent people like Eliza and her.’

He waved in the direction in which Angela had disappeared.

‘But to be honest, most of the time I just wished everyone would leave me alone. Even my best friends.’

Her eyes widened. ‘Does that mean you’re not happy to see me, Michael?’

He looked away. ‘No, I don’t mean to say anything like that. And I don’t want to hurt you,’ he said, looking sadder than ever.

‘What is it then?’ Megan asked. ‘I just don’t know what to say to you. I feel like I screwed up everything. I don’t feel like I deserve you. I’m afraid to look you in the eyes. Not because I don’t like you. Maybe because I care about you.’

‘So you still blame yourself for what happened?’ she said sharply.

‘Eh…’ He stared into a nothingness next to her, and his brains only seemed to give error messages. He really wasn’t ready for a confrontation with her, but here she was, and she wasn’t holding back.

‘Michael, you idiot. Stop blaming yourself! You did all you could, and both of us came out the incident unassaulted, against all odds. You really were the good man in the story. Like an ancient gentleman.’

‘It was Eliza who defended us, not me. I didn’t do anything. I was a coward.’

‘Oh, Michael, you’re being so impossible.’ ‘I just feel unworthy to even look at you.’ She lowered the volume of her voice, and was almost whispering now. ‘You’re really not okay, dude.’

‘I’m so sorry. I don’t want to hurt you, or disappoint you. It’s really horrible, you always made me feel at home when I was with you, and now you make me nervous about being me.’

‘Yes, it’s not me it’s you, yadda yadda… What is this, a tragic romance from the twentieth century? You promised me first and foremost that we’d be friends, remember?’

‘I know. I want us to be friends. But I need some time alone. It’s all too much.’

‘Please, Michael, I had a hard time too, just like you. We all had. I’ve been deleted from my world too. I need every friend I can get now. It’s not fair if you choose your gloominess and false ideas over me; Eliza reconnected to you. Angela has been hanging around with you all the time. Why can’t we just be friends like we were? Was I only ever a forced fiancée to you after all that you never really wanted? Do you really want to break my heart by refusing me as a friend too now?’

‘But they broke off the engagement. Isn’t everything over? The relocation agent told me to forget you. The police officer said you were nothing to me now. And I’m nothing to you. I’m unmarriable, and married already to the uncanny valley monster. I can’t be any of the things that I promised you anymore. I can’t be your husband, I can’t be anything.’

He was lost in his feelings so deeply that he hadn’t noticed how she was losing her patience, so he was surprised when she started yelling:

‘You silly idiot! I thought you were a brainie? Why doesn’t your little one-molecule brain register anything of what I tell you then? You promised me friendship, and if possible a way out the whole marriage thing. All of that is still completely within reach, if you’d only behave as a rational being and not an emotional wreck.’

‘But I ruined your life, Megan. How could we even be friends?’ He whispered, taken aback.

‘You’re repeating yourself and babbling nonsense, Michael. You sound like a broken robot that doesn’t even know what it’s saying. I know you’re smarter than this. You can do better than this too.’

He stared at her, completely overwhelmed.

‘Do you really want to know how I feel now? Now that I finally see you I feel worse than ever. I don’t want you to feel bad, but me feeling bad makes you feel bad, and I’m stuck in a double bind and I can’t get out of that vicious spiral now. And I’m sorry, really.’

She took his hand. ‘Michael, come to your senses. He pulled her hand away.

‘I’m sorry. I said I wasn’t ready to see you.’

‘Will you be?’

‘I hope so. I need more time.’

‘You said that already. Like a million times.’

‘Because it’s true. Please give me more time. Please. I ask you as your friend now.’ He sat down on the bench in the middle of the Plaza.

‘I’m going to regret this too, am I? This whole tantrum I mean.’ He looked at her.

‘Please don’t, your extreme guilt-complex is making it worse. Just be my friend and everything is forgiven. You’re not to blame for the incident at all. Or for anything else…’

In his head he was thinking of what he couldn’t say now, about how he’d kissed another girl even before he’d been able to give the forced engagement story any closure. He really was a horrible person, not worthy to look her in the eyes, but abandoning her would make him an even worse person.

‘I can only make everything worse, I’m sorry, I’m going home. Greet Eliza from me, and I promise I’ll be better company the next time.’

Completely baffled she saw him disappear, and half in a trance she took her jacket to go home too. What had just happened?

*

Megan slammed the door hard when she arrived home half an hour later. Eliza was cooking in the small kitchen.

‘Ah, there you are. What happened?’

‘Angela took me to the bar to see Michael.’

‘Ah, did you finally get to see him? How’s Loverboy doing today?’

‘Don’t make fun of it, Eliza. I hardly recognised him. He’s a complete mess’

‘He’ll get better, and he’ll be more fun company for you again if he gets better. But you know, men are human too. They have feelings and all that.’

‘Men are stupid and hopeless. They don’t know what to do with their feelings, and then act like an uncontrolled dramaqueen when things go wrong. Funny how Miss Hunter failed to ever mention such a thing with all her nonsense about how husbands are always to be obeyed. Rational beings unlike women, who are more emotional and cannot be trusted, hah! If you believe that the brainwash must really have kicked in.’

Eliza stirred the pot with vegetables without looking up.

‘Don’t forget he’s not a stereotype, he’s Michael. He’s always been sensitive and confused, and boys don’t learn how to have our kinds of friendships in this country. Don’t be too hard on him now, he’s lost almost everything. Men never learn to deal with feelings at all, that would be unmanly. Don’t you remember those emotional support lessons? Wives are expected to do all the emotional support and so the man never learns how to handle their own feelings. And he is a very sensitive human after all, so much for the theory that men have no feelings. And our Loverboy…’

‘Stop calling him that. He’s nobody’s loverboy. And he should grow up a bit and just deal with his own feelings. It’s not that hard, he’s supposed to be an adult. Or else he can reprogram that fricking wifebot to give him some therapy.’

Eliza leaned back. ‘Wow, our Megan is swearing. Now the apocalypse has begun… Come here, you need a hug. I can even give you the hug that he gave me the last time I saw him.’

Megan pushed her away. ‘I don’t need any second-hand hugs from that stupid manchild, you keep that for yourself. I only want a pure Eliza hug now.’ She said, unable to stop Eliza from wrapping herself around her.

‘Hey, girl, everything will be okay. I promise you. Our friendship survived the end of our Wife School career, so we’re already exceptional friends according to the standards of this rotten country. And in the end he will be back too.’

Eliza let go of her and hopped to the hyperisolation fridge.

‘Come, I still have a man beer here, let’s share it tonight, there’s something else I wanted to talk to you about. You’d almost forget, but with all his childish tantrums loverboy is still the most harmless taker you could have had, and not every girl is so lucky as you were. And there’s something I wanted to talk to you about. I’m actually rather worried about our other Wife School friend.’

Megan took 2 glasses and divided the beer.

‘Shir?’

‘It must be time for her date after glass with that creepnut. I’m afraid for her.’

Megan’s mood completely changed, and she was much more serious now, even more than she had been about Michael.

‘It must be horrible for her to go through that alone, without us. And we’ve hardly been in contact with her since we, eh, moved out. I hope she never doubted our vow of letting our friendship last beyond Wife School.’

‘She knows we’re still there for her, and if she needs us we’ll save her. And I’ve already sent a message back. Long live the Pen Pal system.’

‘It’s still surreal that you actually went there, as an ex-student that had been kicked out, just to visit her.’

‘Oh, I know my rights, and I know the rules and how to bend them. Not much has changed there anyway. Even Greystone seemed happy to see me in his own way.’

She grinned. Megan sipped from her beer.

‘Man, I miss Shir. I miss our secret meetings with black market books, and skipping Miss Hunters classes. I really don’t feel like doing this sort of work for all of my life instead.’

‘Ah, just wait until Loverboy gets his rating back, and you can become his housewife. Then we’ll be back on schedule with the original plan.’ Eliza said.

‘I said to stop it, Eliza. It’s not funny.’

‘Sorry, I’m overdoing it, I get a bit hyper when I’m nervous. It’s all been a bit too much for me too lately, and then I say stupid things. Please forgive me, I’m being a bad friend too. We’re all being stupid with each other lately, but we still love each other, don’t we?’

‘I love you, Eliza. And Shirley. And even that stupid boy I’m afraid, even if he’s being impossible now. But what do I do with him now?’

Eliza shrugged.

‘You’re a Free Woman. You can do whatever you want with him. If he consents to it that is. He consented to a whole hug with me last time even.’

‘You’re not helping, and you know it. He pulled his hand away and didn’t want to be touched.’

‘He doesn’t know what to do with him either. He’s completely lost and confused about his whole life and everything. I’d just give him more time to sort out his feelings. And yours. Do you know what you want yourself? I know you hate the idea of marriage. But what about the idea of being with him in other ways? Would you still marry him if you could? Or be a couple with him in another non-marriage way?’

‘Angela asked that too, but I… I don’t know. I liked our relationship and how we hung out together, but on the other hand I feel quite relieved that I’m unmarriable now. It’s a whole lot of pressure gone. But I also don’t want to lose whatever there was between us. But as a partner? I don’t really want him like that, but I don’t want to lose him either. Ohh..’ Eliza put her hand on her shoulder.

‘You know, this is why I wanted him on a basis of friendship for both of us, and other girls, before thinking of more. At least we have something to fall back on together.’

Megan looked at her beer and took a sip.

‘You’re right. I want him as a friend. I probably don’t really want him as a lover, I’m not even sure if I ever want a lover at all. He’s probably the best lover imaginable in this rotten world, but I don’t want one. I’ve tried with him, and it was fun, but no, I don’t think I need romance and I don’t need a partner. It’s not my thing. At least not for now and the foreseeable future. Maybe in twenty years or so…’

‘So he’s back on the free market now? You wouldn’t mind at all if he gets another girl and hooks up for life?’

‘By all means let him find a girlfriend, if that’d make him lose that cursed depression. But wouldn’t a relationship mean he’d have to avoid us?’

‘Oh, that won’t happen. He has lost too much already, can’t afford to lose us too. And where do you think he’d find a girl that wouldn’t like him being around us? His social circle is not that big… Deep blue eyes didn’t seem to work and Sam the flirt never had a chance. Do you see any other candidates?’

‘Eh, deep blue eyes what? He and Angela?’

Eliza sighed when she realised she had said more than she was supposed to say. ‘I’m not the gossip channel and I’m bad at communicating stuff like that, so you’ll have to ask her what happened in person. But whatever it was they concluded it wouldn’t work between them, and that he isn’t over you at all and still feels responsible about you even without engagement, so unless you find a way to break that spell he won’t be trying anything with other girls at all for now… Maybe never.’

‘Oh, Michael… You loyal idiot… But that explains why Angela seemed so nervous talking about relationships. The poor thing. I would really wish her to find someone like him, a good man. She deserves it more than anyone. Even if it probably doesn’t exist.’

‘I don’t think their personalities and interests really match, but they’re good with each other otherwise. They’re both too timid to flirt too much and also both somewhere in between dense and brutally honest.’

‘You know that that describes you too, Eliza.’

‘Me? Not at all… Oh yes I can be brutally honest. But if I ever wanted a boy I would be completely straightforward about my intentions without all that muddling around with something like flirting first. That can come later.’

Megan leaned back, a gotcha-sort of look in her eyes.

‘Ah, so you are open to wanting a boy as a partner? That’s new… Eliza the man-hater having a man?’

‘Hypothetically probably… It’s only that Loverboy has set an impossible standard and the pool to fish in is nonexistent. It’s still a pity I’m not into girls, or I could just hook up with you and we could live happily ever after together.’

She leaned in closer as if she was going to kiss Megan, who pushed her away.

‘Cut it, you creepyhead! And even if I were into girls it would be like marrying my own blood sister. You had your chance to experiment with girls in Wife School if you wanted, so don’t play flirty with me now.’

Eliza backed off again.

‘I was just teasing. Love is nothing to experiment with, or mess around with, at least not for me. You know I could only do it if I was completely serious. And I love you, but I’m not going to waste my first kiss on you, thanks… Even if I probably die unkissed. At least I won’t die unhugged and unloved…’

She wrapped herself around Megan again, a bit uncoordinatedly.

‘You’re being weird and all over the place today, Eliza, are you sure you’re okay?’ Megan said from in between her arms.

‘I might have had better times. But I’m glad we’re together now. And maybe I’m a bit emotionally unstable too after everything that happened. His depression didn’t make it much better either. He used to be so optimistic, and believed that everything would get better. And now he just makes me worry.’

Megan freed herself from her arms again, looked at her remaining beer and then drank everything in one big sip.

‘But things will get better. We’ll all get used to being adults like this, and find new ways to live outside of the Marriage System without a rating. It’ll get better as long as we have each other.’

‘It’d be more fun if we had him closer to us I’d say.’ Eliza said.

‘Ah, let’s match him and you then, the perfect way to keep him close to us is if you just hook up with him. All problems solved in one masterplan.’

‘Don’t even tempt me into thinking that, Megan. It wouldn’t be right.’ ‘It’d be perfect and it’d make sense. And you might still be the only happily partnered woman with a man in the history of The Nation thus far, married or not. Instead of being a slavewife you’d probably have a never ending sleepover party, and playing house lifelong with a friend with benefits. And you can invite me so I can visit him all the time without it being weird.’

‘Go wash your mouth now, Megan. Please, don’t ever say such things ever about him. And you’re the one here who was engaged to him without even one kiss even…’

Megan looked dreamily at what was left of her beer.

‘I thought we had all the time in the world and then it was over before we knew it. The moment is gone now.’

Eliza looked at her friend.

‘This asks for more beer, but I only have fruit beer left.’

‘Doesn’t matter. I don’t need anything heavier now. I need your hug, as long as you’re not going to be weird again.’

‘I promise.’ Eliza said, and she took a bottle of woman beer from the little fridge.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door, and Megan almost dropped her glass. Eliza opened the door to see a woman she vaguely knew as a black market trader with an envelope.

‘Eliza, there’s an express Pen Pal message, straight from the SCWF. It’s very urgent apparently.’

The trader disappeared and Megan looked at her, it wasn’t the time of day for Pen Pal messages.

‘From Shirley,’ Eliza said, looking at the envelope.

‘Yes, I gathered so much, come, open it.’

They opened it and read through the letter together, and then said nothing for a while.

‘Wow, this is bad indeed, worse than I expected. That man is really bad news. We need to act as soon as possible, with the original plan: borrow Michael’s wife and give her a makeover, so we can replace Shir with a robotic lookalike reseted into the pre-Nation re-education program, just before their first date outside.’

Megan looked at her.

‘And then?’

‘The robot electrocutes him to charcoal, she’ll be long gone and safe in the Ghost Town and he can’t complain afterwards. That stupid law that women are not even able to harm a man will work to our advantage for once. And we need to use the wireless receiver to have the robot come back, and then we’ll undo the make-over and she’s Dorothy again. And there’s a new angel in heaven, eh, a new ghost in the Ghost Town…’

‘That’s the craziest plan ever.’

‘Nothing is too crazy for my friend. And it will work.’

‘But it’s a lot of work, why not just get her out?’

‘Wife School escapes are risky, you know that. And like this they won’t look after her soon, and will probably blame him for her disappearance. No-one will ever believe his story, until it’s much too late. It will also buy her time, and she will certainly be able to disappear like that without having a whole search party after her, she’s damaged goods by then. The only actual damaged goods will be that creep though, with every inappropriate word or touch he’ll be tasered.’

‘Ah, so you just want revenge.’ Megan remarked.

‘I want him to feel that no-one messes with my friends, and he will pay for all the girls that I couldn’t defend. He’s the worst taker I’ve heard of yet, and Shirley is one of my best friends. He’ll get hell for hurting her, and he won’t even know what hit him. For someone like him I don’t have any compassion. I can handle stupid, or even oblivious, but malicious entitled predators deserve to burn for their sins. And if there’s no angel of wrath available in heaven, we’ll have to send him one ourselves.’

Megan looked at her friend. ‘Wow, you’re really serious about all of this?’

‘Never been so serious. You know I always wanted to try something like this with a wife—o-matic, but this isn’t for fun anymore. And it’s also about Shirley’s future. I swear to the Angel of the Earth herself that he’ll pay for hurting her. So depressed or not, it’s time for me to have another tète-à-tète with Loverboy tomorrow. I need his wife.’

‘Are you sure he’ll let you?’

‘Why not? He owes me for teaching him how to deactivate her. And I’m sure he’ll like the project. It’ll be fun. And it might let off some steam when it comes to his misguided male guilt.’

‘It’s good that I’m a bit tipsy, because sometimes you’re too intense even for me, Eliza.’

Megan said and yawned. ‘I’m going to bed early. Today was a bit too much.’

‘You go to sleep. I’ll prepare for the war.’ Eliza said, waving the letter of Shirley around.