That Time I Got Sent to Another World Where All of the Girls Are Super Hot and Super Into Me Because I Am Super Strong and Have Very Powerful Abilities that God Gave to Me Because Me and Them Were Friends When I Was in Grade School and God Is Actually A Loli Who is Also in Love with Me Because I Am A Super Epic Person Who Will Defeat The Demon Lord Who Threatens The Entire World but the Demon Lord Actually is in Love With Me and the Demon Lord is a Super Hot Busty Babe Who is Actually Just Trying to Get My Attention Because I Have a Cellphone That Can Contact the Internet and Can Get Anything Shipped To Me Within 2 Days But I Barely Need It Because I Am Actually the Most Strongest Guy Alive Because I Have Super Strong Powers Like Being Able to Lift Your Mom Really Easily Which is Nearly Impossible Because Your Mom is So Fat But is Actually A Secret Anime Busty Babe Who is Really into Me Because I Am Super Cool and Better Than Your Dad Because He is Super Lame Which I Am Not

Interlude 2.38 - In which the Demon Lord holds a conference with the [Elitest Four]

On a dark night, in a dark tower of a dark castle, in a dark realm, a dark figure stood at the head of a dark table, discussing dark deeds with even darker subordinates. Five shadowy figures stood around a table of blackest obsidian. Were it a contest of who could be the darkest, the clear winner would be the figure at the table's head, a towering pillar of shadow, whose features were blocked out by a murky shroud of darkness.

The [Demon Lord]. The enemy of humanity and all of the other sapient races that don't get specifically name-dropped because they're less important. The [Demon Lord]'s body was fully enveloped in darkness, one continuous column of shadow from floor to shoulders, 8 feet high. From there, the shape of a neck and head was visible, with massive shadowy horns which erupted from the side of the head and swept up. Two glowing red eyes were the only feature to break the darkness, and they swept now across the other gathered figures seated at the table.

While the [Demon Lord] was the most august personage of those in attendance, the remainder were only slightly less august. These july personages were known and feared across the entire world. The [Elitest Four].

The [Elite Four], the [Demon Lord]'s [Generals], were [Known] throughout the [World] for their raw power, their cruelty, their guile, and their below-average looks. While there were forty such generals, even more fearsome were the four gathered here, the hand-picked greatest, most powerful, and wisest among the [Demon Lord]'s cadre. They were the most trusted of the [Demon Lord]'s allies, and the time had come, for their counsel was sorely needed.

"It seems that we have arrived at a troublesome situation." The [Demon Lord] mused, staring down at the center of the table.

"Indeed," the All-Knowing Eye affirmed, adjusting his glasses with a push of his finger. "It would seem we are in quite the predicament."

"Is it really so difficult?" The Siren asked, idly shifting her beauty-mark to the other cheek. "Simply cut it to pieces."

"IMPERTINENCE!" The All-Max Inferno Ultraflame -Deathblaze- Diablos shouted, slamming his fist on the table, muscles twitching and flames billowing out of his shoulder cannons. "OBVIOUSLY, THIS SHOULD RIGHTFULLY GO TO THE [DEMON LORD]!"

His outcry rang through the chamber, causing the other two [Elitest Four] to wince. The last of them simply crossed his arms, tipping his head and giving the massive Demon the faintest of chuckles.

"Heh... aren't you being a bit too hasty?" The Dragon asked. All-Max Inferno Ultraflame -Deathblaze- Diablos rounded on him, his eyes blazing with molten flame and also anger.

"TARO, YOU FOOL! YOU DARE-"

"Look closer..." Taro told him, gesturing down to the last slice of pizza in the center of the table. "It's Combination. You want the [Demon Lord] to eat the whole slice, even though it's got green peppers?" He narrowed his eyes, lowering his head to give a cocky, sidelong glance at the burning hulk before him.

"Don't you know... that the [Demon Lord] hates green peppers?"

Diablos jerked back as if he had been struck. "W-WHAT?! I..." He looked towards the [Demon Lord] and immediately genuflected, falling to the ground and shaking the entire table as he pressed his face to the black stone of the floor.

"MY LORD. PLEASE FORGIVE MY IMPOSITIONS. I... I OFFER YOU MY LIFE AS PAYMENT FOR MY DISRESPECT."

The [Demon Lord] looked at the groveling Demon and then gave Taro an annoyed glare, eyes narrowing slightly. The [Elite Four] only snickered in response.

"There is no need for that," the [Demon Lord] reassured Diablo. "It is as Taro says: I have no desire for this last piece. The situation may be troublesome, but I trust you to resolve it amongst yourselves."

"Putting that aside for a moment... there's the matter of the upcoming envoy from the [Rock Elves] to the Badass Fantasy LitRPG Isekai Kingdom..." The All-Knowing Eye mentioned, quickly changing the subject. He raised one arm, carefully maneuvering his chin around the flared sleeve of his robe to rest it on his forefinger and thumb. "Is everything in place for the kidnapping?"

The Siren cocked an eyebrow at him, fluttering her bat wings with interest. "What's this about a kidnapping?"

The All-Max Inferno UltraFlame -Deathblaze- Diablos snorted, letting out a puff of flame from his rocky nose. "YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW?" he scoffed.

"I've been busy with the Northern campaign..." she replied snappishly. "I assumed it would be fine to leave things in the West to you, but... was I wrong? Do you need supervision after all?"

Diablos crushed his paper cup in his fist, smoke steaming from the fissures in his rocky skin. The table tensed up at the display, but let out a collective sigh of relief when they saw that his cup had since been drained of fruit punch, preventing a sticky mess.

"SPARE ME YOUR BARBED CONCERN, WOMAN," Diablos roared at her. "DON'T ASSUME ME TO BE INFERIOR SIMPLY BECAUSE I AM NOT A [Candidate]."

"Enough." The Demon lord said. The single word had the same effect as a drawn gun, or a threat to "turn this car around right now so help me god!" The Siren and Diablos both sat upright, snapping to attention and falling silent. "You are all equally capable, or else you would not be at this table. I have no desire to be party to your posturing."

He turned to The Siren, explaining the situation to her. "One of the [Prince]s of [King] Presley's Elvish Nation will soon be leaving on a diplomatic mission to the Badass Gamelike Isekai Fantasy Kingdom. We have positioned [Elite Four] to ambush his caravan and take him hostage."

"A... a [Prince]?" The Siren asked, drooling slightly. She shook her head, wiping her cheek as she focused on the implications of what the [Demon Lord] had said, beyond her dating aspirations. "If we're taking him hostage, then could I... no, I mean... that must mean that we've found another one of the Icons?"

"That's right," Taro nodded. "The [Rock Elves] have... The Storm Sentinel."

"The Storm Sentinel?" The Siren scoffed. "Really? They really choose such ostentatious-sounding names for a piece of plastic junk? I suppose that's all that can be expected from Isekai Dirtworlders, after all..."

She batted her eyes at Diablos. "Oh, no offense."

The Dirtworlder in question growled a reply, more annoyed than offended. In sharp contrast, the lanky man next to The Siren was staring at her, a vein bulging on the side of his head.

"Plastic?! JUNK?!" The All-Knowing Eye burst out, spittle flying from his thin lips. "Excuse me?! The Icons are part of Enigma's Deluxe SculptCheer line, and are made of only the finest resin and PVC available! Each sculpt is meticulously crafted, and the attention to detail is beyond superb! All of the PokketHeroes characters are depicted in highest fidelity! It's nothing short of a work of art!"

The Siren drummed her fingers on the table, unimpressed by this nerd's nerdy rant. "Isn't it quite literally a child's toy?" she asked. "Calling it a 'Storm Sentinel' is a bit much, don't you think?"

The All-Knowing Eye slammed his palms against the table, shaking his head before lifting one hand to point accusingly at her.

"A bit much? A bit much?! This is Ryuuden we're talking about here! The Cyber Ninja! He's ANYTHING but childish! When the Council of Fiends attacked Heartshine Castle, he infiltrated the attacking army all on his own, and took down FIFTEEN Shadowmans Cadre! He even faced off against Hatman himself! I mean, he had to withdraw, sure, but that's not to say that he couldn't beat Hatman in a fight if he was at full strength! Plus, when they..."

The Siren rolled her eyes, letting out a long sigh as The All-Knowing Eye continued his rant. The [Demon Lord] exchanged a glance with Taro, who simply took a sip of his drink in response.

"...even in the base game, his Hidden Values for Speed and Intuition are unparalleled! If you don't plan on showing him the proper respect that a Specialist of his caliber demands, then you're-"

"EXCUSE ME..." The All-Max Inferno UltraFlame -Deathblaze- Diablos roared politely. "BUT ALL OF THIS IS NEW TO ME, SO I WISH TO MAKE CERTAIN. THESE ICONS... THEY ARE... TOYS IN YOUR WORLD, CORRECT? DID THESE EVENTS YOU ARE DESCRIBING...ACTUALLY HAPPEN?"

The All-Knowing Eye opened and closed his mouth a few times, before deflating and looking down at his lap. "Well... n-no... perhaps not in, well, in real life, but that doesn't mean... er..."

They fell silent again, an awkward stillness spreading across the table. The Siren's gaze fell to the last slice of pizza.

"I don't care for Combination pizza either." she noted. "One of you may have the last slice."

"M-me neither..." The All-Knowing Eye added.

"Moving back to the plan," The [Demon Lord] sighed, "John Chadwick has been assigned to Badass Isekai LitRPG Fantasy Port Town."

"Ugh..." The Siren groaned. She shuddered, wrinkling her nose in distaste. "That loser with the popped collars and bleached tips? Why did you have to send that creep? He's such a tool."

"Tools are meant to be used," Taro replied, shrugging.

"Indeed," the [Demon Lord] concurred. "His [Candidate Skill]..."

The [Demon Lord] convulsed slightly, briefly becoming a pure silhouette as he closed his red eyes. "[Alpha as Fuck]... is perfectly suited for extracting somebody under such heavy guard without a fight. He's been told to keep a low profile in the Badass Fantasy LitRPG Gamelike Port Town."

"Keep a low profile, you say?" The All-Knowing Eye asked, placing his hand on his opposite elbow and striking a pose that he probably thought was a lot cooler than it actually was. "That guy?"

"HE PROBABLY WON'T," Diablos admitted. "WHICH IS WHY I ONLY ASSIGNED HIM AS A PLAN A. PLAN B IS ALREADY IN PLACE AS WELL. SHOULD HE FAIL TO APPREHEND THE PRINCE, GHOSTBEARD WILL BE READY TO CAPTURE HIM ON THE RETURN VOYAGE."

"Ghostbeard is reliable enough," Taro replied, crossing his arms. "But we have a bigger problem, here."

The other [Elitest Four] tensed up, looking at The Dragon as he nodded slowly.

"All-Max Inferno UltraFlame -Deathblaze- Diablos..." Taro began, "you... don't like mushrooms, do you?"

Diablos sneered, his eyes flashing more than they were already. "NO. DISGUSTING THINGS."

"That's what I figured. And I..." He lowered his head, narrowing his eyes at the slice of pizza on the table. "I don't like green peppers much myself."

A silence fell over the table, broken by The Siren scoffing again, which she'd really been doing a lot of lately, and it was kind of getting on Taro's nerves.

"Okay? So what? How is you being picky a problem?"

Taro grinned a smile at her. "Oh? Don't you see?"

The All-Knowing Eye, for whom seeing was a specialty, let out a gasp. "W-wait a second..."

He wavered suddenly, grabbing hold of the table to steady himself. He covered his mouth with one hand as his eyes bulged and sweat began to bead on his forehead. "If... you and Diablos don't like it... and I don't like it, and the brat doesn't like it..."

"Hey!"

"...and the [Demon Lord] doesn't like it... then..."

"Nobody here likes Combination Pizza!" Taro declared.

"Then... then why do we keep ordering it?" The All-Knowing Eye gasped. "If we get one Pepperoni and one Combination... that's over half of the pizza that nobody likes!

The gathered villains stared down at the offending slice of pizza, demoralized by the sudden revelation.

"Pizza..." the All-Knowing Eye mused. An errant thought shot through his head, and he seized upon it, eager for something to distract him from the existential dread this slice of pie was imposing upon him.

"Ah, that's right. I heard that Skeletony opened an [Italian] Restaurant."

"Good for him," Taro smiled.

"HMPH!" Diablos scoffed, muscling in on The Siren's territory. "HE IS A COWARD. RETIRING SIMPLY BECAUSE HE WAS SUBJUGATED BY THE [HERO] ONCE!"

"That ain't cowardly," Taro retorted. "It's all in the [Demon Lord's Army] handbook. If a [Hero] subjugates you and spares you, you're allowed to retire on the spot."

"FOOLISH! A WASTE OF RESOURCES."

"It is necessary," The [Demon Lord] replied, turning his attention on his bruiser general (Diablos). "An enemy that loses, but retreats, may be poised to become a Rival or a Nemesis. But one which you defeat utterly and spare.... there's no meaning to defeating them a second time."

"MY APOLOGIES, MY LORD! I DID NOT MEAN TO SECOND-GUESS YOUR WILL! PLEASE, TAKE MY LIFE AS PENANCE FOR MY SINS!" the All-Max Inferno UltraFlame -Deathblaze- Diablos kowtowed, dropping into a table-quaking dogeza once more.

The [Demon Lord] let out a quiet sigh, gesturing for the general to stand.

"Still... that [Hero] is a real piece of work..." Taro sighed.

"He's a [Candidate] too, right?" The Siren asked. "Is he really so tough?"

"He's on a different level entirely. Believe me when I say that he could probably beat all of you without breaking a sweat."

"Hmph..." the All-Knowing Eye hmphed. "I'd like to see him deal with my cheat skills."

Diablos grunted. "THIS [HERO]... DO YOU ANTICIPATE HIM BEING A PROBLEM FOR THE KIDNAPPING PLAN?"

The [Demon Lord] and Taro exchanged another glance.

"Yeah... he might."

"Mobilize two more [Elite Four] to act as a Plan C. Ideally, positioned closer to the Badass Isekai LitRPG GameLike Kingdom Capital. The [Hero] was last spotted near the coast. He's quite far from the Port Town, but it never hurts to exercise caution."

The [Demon Lord]'s shadow form billowed, dimming the light from the room. "And I intend to provide a more permanent solution... to our problem."

A hush fell upon the gathered attendees, as the [Demon Lord]'s aura expanded, plunging the entire room into darkness, until the only things visible were the [Elitest Four], the glowing eyes of the [Demon Lord], and the items on the table.

"From this day forward... We will order a Hawaiian Pizza instead of the Combination!"

The darkness retreated back to the [Demon Lord]'s silhouette, and on the table before them, where the Combination Slice had laid previously, was nothing but a pile of ash.

Diablos stared down at the ash as it slowly blew away in the indoor wind. He raised one trembling fist.

"H-HAIL THE [DEMON LORD]!"

"HAIL!" the others shouted, standing and saluting.

"HAIL! HAIL! HAIL THE [DEMON LORD]!"

Their shouts and cheers carried out of the room, being picked up by some [Devil Maids], who stopped and saluted as well. All around the towering Blackest Keep, the [Demon Lord]'s army picked up the cheer, until their praises filled the night sky.

"HAIL THE [DEMON LORD]!"

The cries echoed across the sky, sending Obligatory Bats (on retainer from the [Vampire King]) soaring into the starry sky. The [Demon Lord] and his generals continued to plot dark plots, while enjoying the finest chocolate cake the Demon Realm had to offer. Dark machinations were spinning, and if Hiro only knew what was going on, he would be relieved to learn that all of these ominous, foreshadowed events would not be appearing until the next volume.