Torture.

This is torture.

Being away from her.

Not seeing her.

It's torture.

I can't help but feel as though she is in trouble. Sometimes, I lie awake at night, in this cell, this freezing cell. And I just hear her screams.

Even though I'm not a foot near her, I can hear them.

I hope it's my mind fucking with me.

I can take any torture, any.

But I can't take her being tortured.

I'd rather it be me then her.

I'd do anything for her.

I can't help but feel as though this separation has made me feel even more in love with her. Even more closer. Because I know, when I find her again, I won't ever let her go.

I won't let her leave again.

I'll apologize for every single one of my mistakes, I'll become better. I'll become better for her.

Unlocking those hidden memories that were ripped away from me by my father, my father.

It has made me feel closer to her.

I can't believe I— we... that we knew each other, that I had her in my life, it doesn't even feel like I hated her.

That feels like centuries ago.

It feels like it never happened. Like it all happened in a book that I was reading, because I could never hate her. I couldn't never lay my lips one another girls', I could never speak to another girl, I would never. She is the only girl.

In my world she is the only girl. The only woman. The only love. The only eyes that I'll look at. The only lips I'll kiss. The only hands I'll touch. I want every part of her. I want to be with her until the worlds split and even then, I want to be with her.

And my father, I have no more love left for him, not even a single drop.

I'll risk everything for her, even if that means betraying him. Even if that means killing him.

Because when that day comes that I escape this place.

I will kill him.

I will destroy his horcruxes, I will destroy everything he every built and let him watch. I'll kill each and every one of his death eaters.

And once I've ripped and shattered what he has built, I will kill him. Slowly.

Then I'll kill Elijah Slytherin.

Elijah is a coward.

He will run.

But I will catch him.

I will search the worlds for him, every corner, every hill, every building, I will knock on every single door. And once I find him, he will be over.

I will erase his whole existence.

Then I'll marry Y/n, so there is no trace of his name left.

And I know, Y/n will do it willingly. I have no intention in forcing her to do anything.

If she does not want to love me. I will not force her to.

As much as it hurts me.

I will not force her, no.

I will simply leave.

Not in intention to make her feel bad, but because without her, I have no purpose.

She is my purpose.

She is my life.

She is the reason the world has been lighter.

She is my heart. Her living, alive and breathing, is the only reason I am here. She was made to be my heart, to keep me alive. To keep the blood pumping into my veins and cold heart.

I'd give everything and anything to her. I'd give my life to her, if that meant she'd be okay.

And without her, I'm nothing.

I'd rather die then live in a world that we are not in love in.

And I'd die willingly, proudly.

But I know that won't happen.

Because I can feel her love for me.

I can feel it pumping through my heart.

I can feel our connection.

No matter how far we are from each other.

No matter who she is with right now or who she is talking to.

I will still love her.

Forever.

Hope.

Hope is what's keeping me sane.

Hope that Mattheo is still alive.

Hope that I will see him again.

It's the only reason I am still breathing.

Without that hope, I'd die, willingly. Right here, right now.

Another hit.

Another scream.

More blood.

This auto machine with hundreds of needles hitting me relentlessly, isn't making me feel any better, matter of fact, it's making me feel more angrier then ever. I've been bleeding out for hours now, they keep healing me only to hit me with it again. Torture indeed.

It goes back into the ceiling. I sigh out of relief when the needles go in with it.

I'd call the men standing over me dick heads, but I don't think that would make them happy nor make the position I am in right now any better.

I do it anyway.

I say it harshly, like a snake.

They all turn their heads, staring at me with wide eyes.

"What?" I say. "Can't handle the truth?"

"That's it."

"Hey!"

A man barges at me, pointing a knife to my throat.

"Leave her alone." The women says to him, grabbing his shoulder in attempt to pull him away.

"Listen to the chick," I tilt my head to her, hinting out who I'm calling a 'chick.'

The man clenches his jaw, looking back at her. Their eyes lock. And I can see it. I can see their love for one another, I can see the loyalty, the compassion, everything.

Something I once recognised.

I shut my eyes, laughing.

I can feel their eyes on me.

Suddenly, I start crying, smiling and crying. Like a fucking lunatic.

When I open my eyes, their faces are pale, eyes are wide.

The man sighs, looking back at her before his shoulders loosen up from their tense state.

She pulls him back, eyeing me up and down.

"Bitch."

It's been an hour of staring at the ceiling, ignoring the hundreds of needles they keep stabbing me with and of the several eyes on me, examining my every move, every breath, every blink, every twitch.

I've lost count of the amount of times I've heard them scribbling on paper each time I moved a single bit.

I feel sick.

I feel like a child.

Not even in control of my own body.

It makes me feel idiotic.

"Has she forgotten?" The man whispers to her, his brows furrowing.

She looks away from me, swallowing hard.

"What's your name?" The man asks.

I don't answer. I'll play along in their little game if that's what's gonna help keep me alive, at least long enough to kill them all.

Purposefully, I furrow my brows.

He furrows his brows. "What is your most recent memory?"

I look at the ceiling, shutting my eyes tightly.

"She has forgotten." He whispers to the women. "Good." She says, "the dark lords plan is working."

"Are we to implant new memories in her head now?"

"Yes."

It's been hours since I've moved. I can't feel any part of my body and my head is pounding so hard to the point it's flushing out any sound around me making it impossible to hear any information that could possibly help me escape.

This scientist came in three hours ago, poking me with needles, taking my blood, examining me. He kept telling me, (I think maybe he's trying to brain wash me) little memories that I'm guessing Voldemort wants me to think that are mine.

Like my name is Hazel Williams, I'm from New York and my parents died in a car crash 5 years ago. That I came to live here at an orphanage only to be adopted by a man named Tom riddle and I am currently at the hospital getting checked out for my brain injury.

I played along. Repeating to him about this fake version of me.

He's trying to implant it in my head. I heard him speaking with someone else, talking about how there is some code words that could possibly shut down my body or make him gain full control of me.

I don't think they work because though he had said the "code words." I still felt in control. But I played along.

Currently, they think I am a useless doll with no memory or ability whatsoever to hear what they are saying. How clueless of them.

I guess Voldemort really is trying to fix me.

They keep trying to wipe my memories, but I'm only gaining more of my old ones.

Ones that were supposed to be gone.

They've messed up, badly.

My heart stops. I groan, shutting my eyes tightly.

It feels as though my heart is being teared into two. Suddenly, my chest shoots up and I can't help but scream out everything.

It's like images fill my mind, more and more every second, my eyes shoot back and forth, trying to keep up with them.

Suddenly, my gaze lands on one and I drop back down to the bed. People surround me. White light illuminates them, covers them from my gaze.

Suddenly. Everything is white. It sounds like a bell is ringing, loudly, to the point it's deafening.

The white light slowly fades away and all I can see is the blue sky.

I sit up, wiping my face.

I shiver when my dry hands rake through the long grass. It tickles a bit.

Where the hell am I?

"Y/n!"

I stand quickly, my heart beating through my chest.

"You're here." She smiles.

My heart stops. Chills cover my body. This is a dream. This is a dream, this is a dream.

"This is not a dream. Not a hallucination either."

"No." I mumble. "You're not real because you are dead."

"Am I?" She laughs. Picking up a strawberry from her plate held lightly in her left hand. The plate we made in pottery class.

"If I am dead, then how did I perform a spell to bring your astral soul here."

"Rebecca." I laugh. My smile slowly drops as I remember the day.

She steps forward. "Come on, I'll explain everything."

We walk for a bit making it down a path filled with flowers, the ground is covered in grass and dandelions. We reach a door looking frame made out of the forest. The leaves on the path clears for us, flying up awards and slowly falling on our heads, I look up, smiling at the sight.

"Beautiful, right?"

"Y-Yeah." I clear my throat. "How is this possible?" I ask her.

"Oh, Y/n. Think of it. You really think I could be caught?" She laughs, running down the path.

"Rebecca!" I yell for her. She spins around, laughing as she continues to run through the air like a bird. Her dress sways with the wind like the ocean waves. Her hair caught up in the mess, so blonde, so beautiful.

"I can never be caught!" She spins around, stopping, her hands landing firmly on her hips. "I am too fast."

I laugh.

She steps forward, that's when I realise we have no shoes on.

"Too smart." She taps the side of her head.

My smile fades away with the echoing wind. "Then who..." I swallow.

Her brows furrow. "Who?"

I look up, squinting my eyes. "Who did I kill?"

She turns around. "Definitely not me!" She yells, the wind pushing back her laughter.

"Come on! You always take forever!" She runs.

I groan, picking up my feet and running. I gasp when the wind pushes me forward, supporting me as I try catching up with her.

"You know I'm not as fast as you!" I laugh. "You never were! But you were always smarter."

I laugh, stopping when a castle appears in front of us.

My jaw drops at the sight. The same castle we wanted to live in together as children.

The dragon I met on one of the tri-wizard tournament tasks, Snow. Rests on the top.

"Come, I want you to meet someone." She says gently.

We walk in and I can't help but gasp at the sight. Everything is covered in nature. And I mean everything.

Plants cover the walls and dangle over us, pink leaves from time to time fall on the floor and melt into the pink marbled shiny floor mixed with white and brown.

I try looking for the white and brown leaves but I can't find them. I look up at her, ready to ask but she guesses my questions. "The white and brown leaves come during winter and summer, since it's fall, the leaves are pink."

I smile. Everything about this house just shows it's human.

My gaze catches a gold light.

I gasp.

A golden statued deer.

We've always dreamed of having one, a real one though.

I shudder, not even realising I'm crying. Not out of sadness, but out of joy.

Suddenly, a baby begins to join my crying. Way more louder then me though.

I look at Rebecca, confusion written all over my face.

She smiles at me, walking into a room then coming out with something in her arms.

I gasp.

"I want you to meet Moon."

"Moon?" I look up at her, my eyes watering.

"Yes."

"Hi Moon." My voice breaks.

Just as I begin to collect the right words to say, something pulls me back.

Rebecca's eyes go wide, "hold on to the branch!"The wind pulls me back, I grab a branch from the wall, trying my hardest to not let the wind take me away.

"Rebecca!" I cry over the baby.

"You're okay!" She yells.

"I don't want to go, I don't want to go Rebecca!please don't let me go!"

Suddenly, the branch snaps. Her face drops.

"No!" I yell, it swings me back, I break through the walls of the castle, yelling each time I can't grab at least something to hold me back, finally, I break out of the roof, yelling as I spin in the sky, trying my best to gasp in any air I can possibly get.

I fly to the highest of the sky, over the mountains and over clouds until I cant see anything below.

Suddenly, I fall.

My eyes flash open and I jolt up.

The same room, the same people.

All of that was fake.

All of it was truly a dream.

"There's a chance she remembers, there is no doubt her mind brought her somewhere safe as a coping mechanism." One says.

I fall back on to the bed, breathing in deeply.

I shut my eyes, tears falling from them.

"Fake." I mumble. "Everything was fake."

It was a dream.

That was a dream.

It was all a dream.

Sorry if I made any spelling mistakes, I hope you all enjoyed!!!