Chapter Three Hundred and Eighty-Three - Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum

Of all my friends onboard the Beaver Cleaver, exactly one of them had actual combat training, and she was the one kicking my butt across the deck with surprisingly little mercy.

“Ouch,” I said as I stared up at the airship’s balloon from the floor. The wood was rather rough, but it felt nicer than my tummy did at the moment.

“Come on,” Caprica said. “You won't improve by laying on the floor.”

“I know,” I said. “But maybe it’ll start hurting less?” Still, despite my protests, I rolled over onto my front and climbed to my feet.

Caprica and I were on the port-side deck of the ship, with a nice big circle marked out for us with rope to let anyone know that they shouldn’t get too close. Not that there was much traffic. The winds had basically died down for the afternoon, and we were sailing with only the engine pushing us along, and even that wasn’t running at full power to conserve fuel for later.

It wasn’t a fast pace, but it wasn’t a bad one either, not when the weather was so calm.

Early in the morning, we had spotted that river I was on the lookout for, and after turning to line up with it, had started towards the Blue Lake. It would take another day or so of sailing to reach it and Codwood, or so we figured.

That was plenty of time to work on our hobbies and maybe get some training in!

I wasn’t a very good fighter. So far I’d muddled my way through, mostly because fighting was... actually, kind of fun, in an exhilarating way. I still much preferred talking my way out of trouble, and I didn’t want to hurt people or get hurt. Still, when Caprica offered to spar I took her up on it. Amaryllis had had a turn with the sylph princess first while I did captain things, and now it was my turn to be tossed around the ring.

I bounced on my feet a couple of times and shifted my shoulders. “Are you ready?” I asked.

Caprica nodded and shifted her stance, making herself even lower.

We were unarmed, dressed in loose shirts made of a coarse, rough-hewn fabric and baggy sailors' pants cinched around our waists.

It was weird seeing Caprica in something other than a proper uniform or princess-y gown, but she insisted that wearing such things for exercise was foolish.

“Alright,” I said. “You better watch out, I’m gonna come at you like... uh... Broccy Bunchboa!”

“Who?” Caprica asked.

But it was too late, I was charging ahead to cut the distance between us. I swung towards her head while lowering my stance a bit. I didn’t want to get thrown again!

My swing, of course, missed entirely, and Caprica was somehow spinning around my arm and catching my ankle with her leg.

I hopped on the other leg, then reached out to grab her, but that turned out to be a mistake. Caprica came in close next to me and punched me under the ribs.

We were, of course, holding back a lot. No full-strength punches or even hard kicks, no aiming for the face or eyes or crotch, and any sensitive bits.

It still hurt a lot when she smacked me though, and I stumbled back with a cough. That was a mistake. Caprica capitalised on my stumble, grabbed me by the wrist, and then used me like a Broccoli-sized jungle gym, her legs wrapping around my head in a chokehold.

But I had a neat way out of those!

I used Proportion Distortion, flooding my body with mana and turning myself into a much smaller Broccoli Bunch.

Caprica flopped down, no longer hanging off of as I slipped out of her grip. Then I reversed the skill and embiggened myself while grabbing onto her shoulders to pin her to the deck. “Got ya!” I cheered.

Too soon, because Caprica folded her legs up and kicked up with both of them, the soles of her feet smacking me hard on the chin.

The world faded to black in the corners and I found myself laid out on the deck again, a concerned Caprica leaning over me. “Are you okay?” she asked.

“Yeah,” I said. Then I worked my jaw. “Ow?”

That had shaved off a couple of health points for sure. “Ah, I didn’t mean to strike you so hard. I’m sorry. Doesn’t your skill make you tougher?”

“I don’t know,” I admitted. “Maybe? It makes me a lot heavier.”

“Ah, but not necessarily stronger,” she said with a wince. “Well, that was a learning moment, at least.”

I rubbed at my jaw some more, and regretted taking off my prosthetic beard. It might have cushioned the blow a little. “Are we done fighting yet?” I asked.

“Have you gained a fighting skill?” she asked.

I pouted. “No.”

“Then that’s your answer,” Caprica said as she stood and gave me a hand to help me to my feet. “We can still take a break and get you something to drink, at least.”

I nodded along, happy for the offer.

I’d complained the night before about my skills being a little all over the place, and once Caprica discovered what skills I did have, she insisted that I needed at least one proper martial art.

Way of the Mystic Bun sorta counted as that, I figured, but Caprica said that it was less a martial art and more of a gimmick, since it focused more on deflecting magical attacks than actually dishing out damage. She felt that would make it hard to defend against multiple attackers, which is why she wanted me to learn a ‘proper’ martial style instead of the more floaty, bouncy bun style.

She also explained to me that there was a difference between being prepared to fight, and actually knowing how to do so, and that I just wasn't doing myself any favours by having multiple skills that weren't necessarily related to each other. She pointed out that maybe next time I'd see an actual threat that couldn’t be dodged or handled by Way of the Mystic Bun.

She told me that she knew a few styles from her time in the military, and that she thought I would benefit greatly from training with them.

Which is what led me to spending so much time on my butt.

Name Broccoli Bunch Race Bun (Riftwalker) First Class Cinnamon Bun Bun First Class Level 14​ Second Class Wonderlander Second Class Level 5​ Age 16​ Health 155​ Stamina 175​ Mana 155​ Resilience 70​ Flexibility 85​ Magic 30​ Skills Rank Cinnamon Bun Bun Skills Cleaning S - 09% Way of the Mystic Bun C - 100% Gardening D - 40% Adorable D - 100% Wonderlander Skills Mad Millinery D - 100% 1​ Proportion Distortion C - 34% Social Butterfly F - 48% General Skills Insight C - 100% Makeshift Weapon Proficiency C - 78% Archeology D - 100% Friendmaking C - 93% Hugging Proficiency C - 100% Captaining D - 100% Cinnamon Bun Bun Skill Points 2​ Wonderlander Skill Points 5​ General Skill Points 3​ First Class Skill Slots 1​ Second Class Skill Slots 0​ General Skill Slots 4​

I actually had a free skill slot in Cinnamon Bun Bun, which was great! And I had four whole General slots opened up too, which were taking a while to fill up.

“Ready to keep going?” Caprica asked, “or are you going to stare at your stats for a while longer?”

“Ah, wait, let me grab something to drink first,” I said before hurrying off. Once I was all hydrated up, I returned to the ring and prepared to face off against Caprica again, but this time she shook her head and walked over to me instead.

“No, this isn’t working. Well... it is, I suppose, teaching us both how to put some things into practice, but you seem to mostly be trying things without any form behind them. I think your skill is easing you into some patterns, but it’s not a conscious thing. I’ve seen this before.”

“You have?” I asked.

“Of course. I went to the world’s finest military academy for two years. I saw plenty of people fighting and sparring and the like. Some of the instructors liked to point out the difference between someone skilled and someone who had a skill.”

“Uh, I think I understand,” I said. “So, someone can be good at cleaning, even if they don’t have Cleaning?”

“Essentially. A skill will allow you to push past the limits of what you could normally do, but being skilled at something will harmonise with your skills and result in superior overall ability.. A person who has a great martial arts skill might have an edge, but someone who doesn’t but who has practised for a long time has personal experience, and that counts for a lot. My school, of course, taught some basics regardless.”

I nodded along. It made some sense. Coming from a world without that kind of thing, I was still used to thinking of skills as a bit of a cheat. They were fun, of course, and super useful, but they also made the impossible... kind of mundane.

Of course, cheating came with a big negative connotation. It was wrong and unfair, but in this world, everyone and seemingly everything had access to the same system, so it would be strange not to use Dirt’s system to improve yourself.

“Alright, so now what?” I asked.

“Now I’m going to show you a few simple motions and takedowns,” Caprica said. “We’ll have to adjust them a little. They’re for sylph, and we’re usually practising against each other or someone much taller. You might have to face smaller opponents. Then again, you do have the ability to shorten yourself a little.”

I nodded along. “Okay, that makes sense.” Caprica wasn’t the shortest sylph girl I’d met, and she only came up to about bust-height on me. Sylph weren’t as short--or stout--as dwarves, but they weren’t too far off.

Caprica demonstrated some moves, and I tried my best to follow along. That didn’t work out as planned, but she was patient and showed me how to do things right. I felt like I was progressing pretty well, especially with a teacher, but after a couple of hours and still no new skill, I figured that it wasn’t quite enough to unlock anything.

I was still pretty happy about everything, even if I’d earned a couple of new bruises from it all.

“I think... maybe a small break for a light lunch,” Caprica said.

I nodded along. It was approaching lunch time. “Are you going to continue after?”

“I... suppose so. I don’t want to sound pitiful, but this is the first thing I’ve found I can do on this ship that fits my skill set.”

I hugged her. “Don’t be silly, you’re not useless, you’re a friend,” I said.

Caprica chuckled. “I know, you’ve reminded me plenty of times. But it doesn’t change the fact that I’m essentially a stowaway as well, and I want to pull my own weight. If that means giving self-defence and combat lessons to anyone who wants them, then so be it.”

I nodded along. I could sympathise with that. “Maybe we can get the whole crew in on it? The Scallywags are good in a scuffle, I think, but they don’t have any formal training. Same for most of us, actually. I don’t want us to have to know how to fight, but with the number of pirates we’ve been bumping into lately....”

“Indeed. Amaryllis said that this ship is a trouble magnet.”

“It’s not that bad.” I laughed and clapped my hands. “Now, my appetite’s been opened up in a big way! We should get some grub!”

***