“Alright everyone!” General Pierre raised his voice as he explained the training course, “On my mark, you will all run towards the first obstacle – The rope. Climb over it however you see fit, I’d say anything goes.”

“Anything?” Edward tilted his head.

“A-hem!” The General glared back at him.

“Oh, right!” He remembered my advice, “Anything? Sir!”

“That’s better!” Pierre smiled back, “But yes, in a war, there really aren’t any limitations as for what you can do, so just try your best to clear the course in the allotted time.”

“So like the Final Physical Exam for acquiring an Adventurer’s Passport?”

As Edward continued piling on the questions, the crowd of other rookies around us began gossiping about him. It really wouldn’t be an issue if they were just throwing offhanded harmless insults, but at some point the smack talk devolved into pure unadulterated threats.

“Who does this guy think he is?” One of the rookies nudged the buddy next to him.

“Asking all these stupid questions, is he making fun of the situation?” The other replied.

“Maybe we oughta’ teach him a lesson. Heh, make sure he don’t ask another question ever again…!”

Whoa, that really sounded dangerous! And Edward is… still oblivious?! He’s still berating poor old Pierre with his questions so much so that he didn’t even catch a single insult that was thrown his way! Hey guy, where’s your sense of self-preservation?!

“Alright!” I yelled out, turning everyone’s attention over to me, “I’d really like to continue with the training, so could you stop it with the questions, please?”

“Oh thank God…” Pierre sighed in relief before composing himself, “A-Ah, I mean! Yeah, Meil, you’re right! So as I was saying, the second obstacle…”

As Pierre continued explaining the obstacle course, I nudged Edward and made sure to properly warn him of the dangers of being too curious. Oddly enough though, he was rather nonchalant, despite apparently fully hearing what the others were saying about him.

“Hm?” He turned to me, “I mean, I’m just curious, right? We’re all fellow soldiers fighting to get back out territory, so I don’t see what they would stand to gain from harming me in any way.”

“That line of thinking is going to get you killed.”

“Sir!” One of the soldiers asked for permission to speak, “These two have been blabbering on this entire time, where’s the punishment?”

“I don’t mind. Meil is just teaching the newbie the rules here. Instead of being a stuck up jackass, how about you be thankful, because if Meil does his job properly, you won’t ever have to deal with Ed’s questions again.”

“With all due respect, sir, you’re just saying that because you’ve known Meil the longest out of us all!”

“What the hell did you just say to me, you little shit?” The General approached him before tossing him to the ground, “Get on the ground now. As punishment for your tone, you’ll be doing pushups until I tell everyone to start the obstacle course.”

“What? Unf-!” The rookie tried to protest before getting absolutely folded.

“I gave you an order, shitstain. Failure to comply leads to exponentially more difficult punishments, so best not get too cocky here.”

“Geez, that guy should really take this seriously.” Edward took the piss out of the rookie on the ground, “We’re in a boot camp for Gods’ sakes.”

“Ah, Edward, please refrain from saying another word more…” I promptly put my palm over his mouth.

And with that, the General had us get into position before whistling with all his might, signifying the start of the obstacle course. Everyone scrambled to get to the first obstacle before the others, shoving Edward and I to the very back.

“You good?” Edward helped me up as he brushed the dirt off his uniform.

“Yeah, no rush.”

“No rush?” The General looked a bit worried at our lack of urgency, “What do you mean? I told you guys that I won’t tolerate inability to complete the course in time. There very much exists a rush in this scenario.”

“Yeah, but I dislike crowds.” I made up an excuse.

“And I just know from experience that being last tends to give us an advantage in these types of courses.”

“Experience?” I chuckled as we began jogging together at a far more leisurely pace than the rest, “Why, do tell me more.”

“With pleasure.” He smiled back as the General was left speechless at our exchange.

***

Ah, I see! So that’s what he meant when he said that to the General! So a similar event occurred when he and Lune were getting their Adventurer’s Passports. How interesting, to think that he too knew of this strategy. Looks like he might be quite the genius himself!

“Oh, but that’s just me reusing Grim’s wisdom.” He back out, “Please, if you wanna give anyone credit, give it to him. I’m just a copycat.”

“Y’know, you should really give yourself some praise every once in a while…”

“I…! Yeah, I know.” He sighed, “But it’s not that simple! Still, I’m trying my best so cut me some slack at the very least.”

He’s certainly an interesting fellow. He’s honest and earnest, and barely ever steps out of line. He’s kind of refreshing in a way. After all, the only people I seem to have been meeting on my journeys were either ruffians or rule breakers, so seeing such a goody two shoes like Edward is quite the stark contrast. Just the fact that he’s Lune’s friend would usually be more than enough reason to try and keep my eye on him, but now that I got a general grasp of what he’s like, I think I’d have befriended him anyways.

“Looks like we made it to the wall.” He looked up at the dauntingly tall wooden wall which had some ropes tied to the top.

Obviously, we were to climb over it, as the General said, but I do wonder if we can just walk around it. Don’t get me wrong, I can climb over this pretty fast, but I kind of feel like testing the waters. Pierre did say that we just have to clear the course in the allotted time, and that there really are no rules in the course. Well, of course I won’t actually go through with this idea of mine, given I don’t want to cause trouble for anyone. I think I’ll just remain anonymous for now until…

“O-Oi!” I yelled out to Edward, “Where do you think you’re going?!”

“Hm?” He looked back, “Well, it’s not like there’s any guards to confirm if we actually climbed over it, so I’m going around it! Pretty clever, right? Since all the guards were following the guys that were rushing in at the start, this basically gives us a free pass to skip these earlier stages until we catch up.”

“You’re showing me a completely new side of you.” I winced, “You’re way more cunning than I had originally thought.”

“Hehe, you think?”

“That wasn’t a compliment…”

He then happily walked around the wooden wall, patiently motioning for me to follow suit. I was a bit hesitant at first, but after realizing the coast was clear, I nervously made my way around as well. That being said, I was once again surprised by his next choice of action.

“Alright, down you go.” He pushed me to the mud just on the other side.

“Ow! Why?”

“It’d be way too suspicious if we got through the obstacle course without getting the least bit dirtied. You don’t gotta go overboard with it, but at least roll around for a moment. I’ll join you, so don’t worry.”

That’s not the issue here! Why is he more cunning than even Issei?! Damn, Lune’s friends are scary! If he was with us when we were in prison, I’m sure Edward would have gotten us out first try. He’s a nervous wreck usually, but he has his moments where he just appears to think of every possibility and account for it in time. I guess he was an adventurer back in his childhood, so it really only makes sense…

“Alright, that should be enough.” He wiped the mud from his face, “Let’s go to the next course. Think you can run a bit?”

“Pssht! Running? I’ll do you one better – Let’s race and see who gets to the second obstacle first!”

“Only if the loser buys the winner a drink!” He shook my hand.

“Deal! Wait, are there even any drinks in here at all?”

“Dunno. Let’s ask the General when we’re done with this.”

And with both of us counting down from three at the same time, the race had officially begun, and I ran with all my might. Oddly enough though, he once again fell behind. Looks like he’s lacking in the physical training department. That kind of makes me glad in a way, as it means he’s not as scary anymore once his weakness is exposed.

“Haah, haa…” He sighed and coughed as he slowly closed in on me, “Dammit… I’m a waiter and handyman, I’m not built for this at all!”

“So does that mean you owe me a drink?” I teased.

“Yeah yeah, phew! Whatever, if you wanna be an alcoholic, fine by me.”

“What? No, I didn’t mean… I just said that because…!”

This guy…! He was the one who set the conditions in the first place, so why’s he making me out to be the bad guy? Seriously, I don’t even like drinking alcohol all that much, the taste is just too gross!

“Pfft! Phahahhaha!” He burst out laughing after seeing me flustered, “Geez, I’m just joking! Calm down, my guy!”

“Grr…! Now you owe me double!” I quite literally doubled-down.

“Right, but that’s not the issue here.” He calmed down a bit as he said, “Meil, didn’t you say you wanted to be a scholar or something? Why the hell do you have such high stamina then? Just what are your legs, man! I got completely left in the dust!”

“I was a handyman too.” I replied, “The only difference between my occupation and yours is that I was the handyman of my entire quik, not just a measly restaurant.”

“Hey! Arthur’s family restaurant is not just some measly food place! It’s got everything you could ever ask for, from the most savory of meals to the sweetest of snacks! I promise you that you won’t ever grow bored of our always evolving menu!”

Whoa, he completely switched to salesman mode. I’ve heard of people that take their jobs so seriously that they’ll subconsciously talk about it even off work hours, but to think he was this far gone…

“Hey Ed?” I asked as we crawled under the barbed wires set up as the second obstacle, “Just how many days off do you get in a year?”

“The standard.” He replied, “One week of unpaid vacation. Oh, but I can divide the days and use them whenever I see fit.”

“One week?!” I jolted so much I almost hit the barbed wires with my head, “That’s inhumane! Who the hell is your boss?!”

“My grandfather in law?” He tilted his head.

“Ah.” I then realized, “Then everything makes sense now…”

After getting through the second obstacle as well, we continued running at a far more leisurely pace so that Edward could run along with me, but we soon noticed just how many rookies were scattered throughout the sidelines. Looks like they all ran out of stamina and either fell unconscious or just gave up before things got too tough.

“Oh, would you look at that?” Edward mocked the other rookies as we passed by them, “Hey guys! What’s going on? You were all so eager to get to the goal first at the start, so what’s the hold up?”

“You…!” They all cussed him out with all their might, “Just you wait, idiot!”

“Oh I’ll be waiting.” Edward could barely be heard by them at the distance he made, “Waiting for you to suck my di-!”

“Whoa there, partner!” Vivia’s voice interrupted him, “To think my fiancée could have such a potty mouth. Please hubby, don’t go saying such words, what if our baby learns from you?”

“Eh?” He turned around, “V-Vivia?!”

“Really now, Edward, friendly competition is alright, but don’t overdo it. You should really start acting more your age…”

“G-G-General?!”

Well, looks like he got his due diligence for getting too ahead of himself. Although I do find it amusing how he got called out for not taking this exam as seriously as he should, despite our entire talk today revolving about how he’s taking life too seriously. I guess this is also a bit of a sign that his life’s sinus wave is starting to plateau.

“Congratulations you two!” Vivia clapped for us, “You’re the only two who made it the whole way through the obstacle course without giving up! Bravo!”

“Pardon?” I raised my hand, “Are you saying that none of the other rookies had the stamina to finish the race?”

“Yeah, I’m afraid so.” The General donned a bit of a worried expression, “I understand you rookies aren’t really used to war, but come on, everyone outside of Sulfury is just too damned soft these days! I’ll have to look into some stamina training soon…”

“Just to make sure.” Edward gave a nervous chuckle, “That doesn’t apply to us, right? Y’know, since we passed and all?”

“Ah, so you really can be funny!” Pierre patted him on the back as he guffawed, “Looks like the dad jokes are starting to kick in!”

“Haha…” Edward’s eyes grew dim as he looked over his shoulder at the ever smug Vivia, “Yeah, I guess they are…”

Sadly, I do not Behold a Brown Iro, but even without the ability to read minds, I think I can properly assume what Edward is thinking right now. Or rather, it’s clearly visible on his face just how much he’s dying inside.