I reacted before I could stop to think, snatching the hatchet I’d taken from the man off my belt and leaping forward. As I did, I imagined a flow of deep red energy rolling down my arm to envelop the axe, the warmth of that solar raju cooled with a wisp of silvery moonlight. I almost froze as nothing happened; no energy came to my call, no power rose up from my depths, and no fire wreathed my axe.

“New world, John,” Sara reminded me softly.

I swore as I brought the hatchet back over my shoulder and slashed down at the dark shape. The figure seemed to be a bit smaller than a person but long and lean, with an almost whiplike tail. Its skin was rough and covered with scales that could have been brown, black, or dark gray; I couldn’t tell in the moonlight. It hissed as the hatchet sank into its back, although the weapon didn’t bite as deeply as I’d expected, and spun to face me, revealing a narrow face with a short, thick muzzle. The creature opened its maw to hiss at me once more, revealing rows of wide-set, serrated teeth.

The creature charged toward me, and I fell backward, rolling to the side. Pain lance along my back as its short claws slid down my skin, but I regained my feet as it charged past. Its lean body surged by me, and I slashed at its flank, scoring a line along its side. It spun to face me again and opened its mouth wide. I expected another hiss of frustration or rage; instead, a jet of disturbingly warm, somewhat slimy water shot from its mouth and struck my face, blinding me and knocking me backwards a step. I lashed out wildly with my hatchet and threw myself sideways, which was all that saved me from being swarmed under by the monster’s charge.

I wiped my face on my sleeve and blinked to restore my vision, then rolled quickly to the side as its teeth snapped toward me. I sprang somewhat awkwardly to my feet, wishing that the revolver at my side had some actual bullets in it. The hatchet felt good and familiar after my time in Soluminos, but a pistol would have been much, much better. Of course, so would having the physical stats I’d had when I fought the Maresal; with those, I’d probably have ended this fight already. Of course, while I was at it, I might as well wish that I had my magical abilities from Soluminos and my cultivation abilities from Kuan Yang – and maybe a nice, fully loaded fighter jet to zip around in while I restored the balance in each world. I was pretty much equally likely to get all of those wishes.

The monster spun quickly, and I hissed in pain as its whiplike tail smacked into my leg just above the knee with a flash of burning pain. I felt something running down my leg and knew the creature’s attack had drawn blood, so I decided to return the favor. As it twisted back to face me, its jaws gaping open, I jumped to the side, allowing its jet of nasty liquid to splatter past me harmlessly. I sprang forward and swiped at it with the hatchet, slashing it across the face. The beast hissed and recoiled as warm, sticky blood spattered my arm and face. I slashed again, this time catching the beast in the side of its neck. It let out a throaty croak and scuttled back, seeming suddenly uncertain. I struck again, this time catching it on the point of its snout, and it backed away from me a few more steps, its long body moving more like a big cat’s than the reptile it clearly appeared to be.

I could almost feel the animal’s emotions shifting from triumph to pain and rage to fear. Its thoughts seemed to radiate from it in a cloud, one that I could practically see pouring out of it. When I concentrated on it, though, the aura seemed to vanish; my eyes saw only the silvery moonlight bathing the creature’s dark scales. When I stopped focusing, it reappeared, an aura of rising panic and growing pain that washed over my skin like an invisible mist.

The monster darted forward, its jaws gaping, but I ducked my head, and the blast of water that should have caught my face splashed against the top of my skull. It left my hair drenched and dripping slime, but at least I could see. It lunged at me, its teeth snapping, but I dodged to the side and flung myself onto its back. I pressed it down into the dirt with my greater weight and wrapped one arm around its muzzle, pinning it shut. My legs clamped onto its sides, and I jammed my knees into the dirt to stabilize myself.

The monster exploded into movement as it struggled to dislodge me. It thrashed and twisted, jerked its head from side to side, and tried desperately to pull itself free, but I grimly held onto it. I’d taken a bit of a gamble; if the monster was really like a big cat, it could twist its body around and claw the shit out of me, but it hadn’t moved as nimbly and agilely as a feline, so I guessed that it only walked and ran like one. Fortunately, I’d assumed correctly; the monster flung itself about, but it lacked a cat’s incredible flexibility, and it couldn’t bring its hind legs up to rake at me. It struggled to pry its jaws from my grip, but like most animals, the power in its jaw focused on biting down, not opening, and keeping its muzzle locked was relatively easy. It tried to flip itself over, but my knees dug into the dirt beneath us, and it wasn’t strong enough to overcome my weight.

As it thrashed and struggled, the aura around it thickened, and I felt it against my skin, a tangible pressure that enveloped me. The mist condensed, filling the air around us with a nearly visible haze. As it lost energy – or possibly realized the futility of fighting – its struggles weakened, and the cloud pressed against me until I could practically taste it. The aura shifted from rage to fear – and resignation. The monster fell still at last, its sides heaving as my weight pressed it into the dust and mud of the street, and I pulled its muzzle back to expose its throat, lifting the hatchet in my free hand. As I did, its dark eye met mine for just a brief instant – and that instant was all it took.

A thread of energy darted from the creature’s eye into mine. I recoiled, jerking my head away and slamming my eyes shut by instinct, but the energy slipped past my lids and flowed into my skull. A strange force swept over my thoughts, muffling and blanketing my perceptions. Fear suddenly flooded my brain, thick and nauseating, layered with pain and helplessness. I was trapped, hurt, bleeding. All I wanted was to flee, but something held me fast, binding me and pressing me into the blood-muddied dirt beneath me. I tried to thrash, to squirm free, but my exhausted body refused to respond, and bone-deep weariness filled my muscles, leaving me helpless.

“Push it out, you damn fool,” a deep voice boomed from above me, and my fear spiked even harder. “That thing’s in your head, and if you don’t push it out, it’ll stay there. Go on, boy. Push it out.”

The voice wasn’t making any sense. What was in my head? I tried to move, but something grabbed me, wrapping me in bands of iron and pinning me in place. I struggled, but I was bound too tightly to escape, no matter how I fought.

“Think of a wall, boy. A net, a cage, anything. Imagine wrapping those thoughts in it and holding them tight.”

“Like this, John,” a new voice spoke, and suddenly, an image of a gleaming, steel cage popped into my mind. I could see it stretching around the darkness filling my thoughts, then slamming shut, locking the fear away. The cage faded, leaving me alone with my terror once more. “If you do that, you won’t be afraid anymore. You won’t be trapped.”

Almost desperately, I pictured a cage like the one I’d just seen and wrapped it around the darkness in my mind. I slammed the door shut and pushed on it, shoving it away from me, and instantly, the darkness lightened. The fear pounding in my chest lessened, and relief flooded my mind as the overwhelming terror eased. I shoved harder, pushing the cage away from me, and as I did, it seemed to compress. The darkness shrank from an overpowering mass to something that loomed in my thoughts but didn’t overwhelm them. I pushed even more, and the cage continued to shrink, dropping to the size of a house, then a car. Light and awareness flowed back into me as it dwindled to something like a large ball before vanishing entirely.

“Good. Now, keep pushing,” the deep voice instructed. “Follow it back to where it came from.”

“Sheriff, are you sure?” a higher-pitched voice that I dimly recognized asked worriedly.

“He’s got no choice, now. If the damn fool don’t finish it, this thing will either try to kill him, or I’ll have to kill it, and that’s always chancy. Go ahead, boy. Reach out and follow those thoughts back to where they came from.

I hesitantly pushed again with my mind, and my thoughts seemed to break free of my skull. I felt them pass through the air, sensed other minds looming around me, completely cut off from me. Only one path lay open, what seemed like a wide road spiraling down into darkness. I paused, not wanting to drop into darkness once more, but when I tried to pull back, the cage holding the darkness away from me shuddered and shook, growing slightly as it surged toward me. Grimly, I pushed forward, sliding down that road into the darkness.

I found myself in blackness once more. The air shivered with palpable fear, and terror crashed against the walls of my mind. This time, though, the darkness and fear seemed separate from me, something that surrounded but didn’t control me. I tentatively reached out to it, and as I did, the darkness drew back. I stretched out farther, and the blackness and shadows receded even more.

“Now, boy, reach out and grab hold of as much of it as you can,” the deep voice boomed, seeming both louder and more basso for some reason. The fear around me spiked, battering at me, but I pushed it away from me, and the darkness all about me recoiled, leaving gray emptiness. I spread myself out in all directions, pressing against the darkness, and it retreated swiftly, providing practically no resistance against my touch. It felt like pushing back spiderwebs that wouldn’t stick to me or dissolving the foam in a beer with a touch. Wherever I reached, the darkness simply vanished, forcing the fear farther from me and walling it away. I stretched out as far as I could, until the darkness was a distant thing, hanging on the far horizon, leaving me standing in a vast, empty grayness.

“Damn. Okay, that’s good, boy. Now, hold onto whatever you’re seeing and go back to yourself. Make sure you bring what you’re seeing with you, or this whole thing will have been a waste.”

I somehow wrapped myself around the grayness surrounding me and pulled back. The world shifted around me for a moment, and suddenly I found myself laying on the ground as sensation and awareness returned to me. My back and leg stung, I was covered in sweat and worse, and dust coated my lips and tongue. A heavy weight rested on my chest, and my shoulders ached. I groaned and tried to sit up, but the weight held me down, and I opened my eyes to see the Sheriff kneeling over me, his knee pressed onto my sternum and his hands pinning my shoulders to the dirt. His face looked grave, and his eyes flashed with a mixture of what looked like anger and resignation.

“You back with me, boy?” he drawled, leaning down as if inspecting my eyes.

“I – I think so,” I said tiredly. My head throbbed with a strange pressure, almost like I had a painless but uncomfortable sinus headache. “My head feels – weird.”

He nodded and stood up, releasing me so I could sit up. “That’s your bond, boy. You’re feeling the bonesnapper in your head.” I sat up slowly, expecting the pressure in my head to spike into pain as I rose, but it remained steady and constant. He chuckled. “Don’t worry, you get used to it. Soon enough, you won’t even notice it’s there.”

“It – that thing’s in my head?” I asked, looking down at the lizard that lay still beside me, its chest moving in and out the only indication it still lived. Now that I wasn’t fighting it, it didn’t look quite as frightening. It probably only stood a couple feet in height, its claws were sharp but small, with webs between them that probably made swimming easier, and its jaws were only about six inches long. Its tail, rather than being whiplike like I’d thought, was thin and flattened, again probably to ease its passage through the water.

“Yep. The good news is, you’re in its head, too – in fact, you took more or less total control of it.” He gestured at the animal. “Go ahead. Tell it to do something; anything.”

“Okay,” said hesitantly, drawing out the word. “Um, come!” The pressure in my head shifted slightly, not painfully but uncomfortably, and the lizard rose to its feet and padded over to stand beside me. “Damn. Did it really understand me?”

“Nope. Damn thing’s too stupid to know Sarjan. It responds to what you’re thinking, not what you say. Talking can help at first, though.” He reached a hand toward me, and I took it, letting him pull me to my feet with incredible ease.

“You good?” he asked. I nodded. “Good. You deserve this.” His fist shot out toward me, and I barely managed to duck my chin, letting it crack into my forehead. The blow rung my bell and knocked me back a step, but I kicked out and caught his knee, sweeping it sideways so he fell to the dirt road. As I did, a dark shape suddenly rose up behind him, hissing menacingly at me. In response, my little lizard friend opened its mouth with a hoarse rattling sound.

“Whoa, whoa,” the sheriff chuckled, holding a hand up as he rose to his feet. “My own fault for throwing a punch at a damned Davan shadowboxer. Still, you’ve got good reflexes; I didn’t think you’d be able to take that so easily.”

“What the hell?” I demanded, rubbing the top of my head, surprised there wasn’t a lump forming there. “What was that for?”

“For bonding a damn Lesser bonesnapper without so much as a lick of training, you damn fool!” he growled in reply. Parri took a step toward me, and he laid his hand on the giant animal’s chest. “It’s okay, girl. You go hunt. We’ll be fine.”

The dracodile gave me a look before stepping back and launching itself into the air, quickly winging its way into the night sky. The sheriff turned back toward me and looked me up and down.

“You look like shit,” he said bluntly. He looked back behind me, and I risked a quick glance in that direction to see Shina, standing on the steps leading from the sidewalk to the street, clutching a rifle in her hands. “Think he’s about done for the night, Shina?”

“I reckon so, Sheriff,” she sighed, shaking her head. “Can’t have him back in here looking like that.”

“Thought not. Mind grabbing a couple people to carry off Radu’s body?” She nodded and walked back into the saloon.

“Radu?” I repeated, suddenly recalling the old lumberjack the lizard – bonesnapper, I guess it was called – had attacked. I turned toward him, but he lay still and unmoving in the dusty road. “He’s dead?” I asked quietly.

“Yep,” the sheriff nodded. He pointed to my new acquisition. “They call them bonesnappers for a reason, boy. Those jaws can crack bone easy. Damn thing probably broke his neck straight away to make sure he couldn’t struggle while it dragged him back to the river.” He shook his head. “I’m gonna have to have words with Boden over this.”

I nodded, then lifted the hatchet still in my hand. “Who should I give this to?”

“Keep it,” he shrugged. “Radu had no family here, and it looks like you can use the damn thing pretty well. Never hurts to have a backup weapon.”

“I wouldn’t have needed it if I had bullets in my gun,” I pointed out.

“True, and we’ll fix that tomorrow. For now, go get yourself cleaned up, then meet me back in my office. We’ve got a lot to talk about.”

“Where can I clean up?”

“Well, Kimari, the barber, also offers hot baths, if that’s what you’d like. Course, she charges two taans for one normally, and if you go wake her up in the middle of the night, she’ll charge you double – and give you cold water.” He chuckled. “Mind you, the river is free. It’s cold, and you can’t pay it to clean certain extra parts of you extra well like you can with Kimari – when she’s in a good mood – but it’s free.”

I made a face. “Is it a good idea to go in the river with these cuts? Will the blood attract something?”

“What cuts?” he asked evenly, his eyes twinkling. I pointed to my leg, then froze. The wound on my thigh was gone, vanished as if it had never happened. “What the hell?”

“That’s one of the things we need to talk about,” he told me. “Your new pet came from the river; it can show you the way back. Take it with you and let it hunt in the river while you’re bathing. You’ll be safe enough.”

The river lay just past the eastern edge of the town. Several dark buildings hulked along the riverbanks, none of them lit and all looming darkly against the velvet backdrop of the night. The road ended at a wide wooden bridge that gleamed as it arched across the river, the far side of which was only barely visible in the moonlight. I could feel the bonesnapper’s eagerness to return to the water, but I mentally commanded it to remain with me as I watched the flow for a couple seconds, then headed upstream, past the rows of buildings. It took a few minutes of walking to clear the edge of what looked to be the inhabited part of the river, but I’d seen plenty of relatively backward cities built on rivers. The waterway served as a source of drinking water and irrigation, sure, but it usually also served as a convenient place to dump waste and refuse. I had zero desire to experience this world’s version of dysentery or typhoid.

As Shina predicted, the water was cold but not frigid, and the current, while swift, wasn’t strong enough to be a concern. I sent the grateful lizard into the water and told it to hunt down anything nearby that might be dangerous. After giving it a couple minutes, I stripped down and waded out until I was deep enough to submerge myself, then ducked under the water. I let myself hang there in the darkness, my feet planted in the silty bottom to anchor me, enjoying the cold water, the seeming weightlessness, and the sudden cessation of sound.

The bonesnapper’s presence pulsed in my head. I couldn’t see it, but I knew that it was upstream of me to my right. It had found prey, something to eat, and it floated in the darkness just as I did, moving just enough to drift closer to its intended victim. A flash of sudden movement, and it clutched its prey in its teeth. Warm blood flowed into its mouth, the salty flavor drifting across its tongue…

I quickly pushed the lizard’s thoughts aside as it began to feast on its prey. I did my best to hold its thoughts far from mine. My body felt surprisingly good after the battle – I’d expected my back to sting and burn and my muscles to ache, but everything seemed to be in excellent shape. My emotions, though, felt raw and ragged, and a heavy fog covered my thoughts. It occurred to me that I’d been going pretty constantly since that fateful night when I died on Earth. I’d rarely had a moment to just relax and enjoy myself. Barring the time I’d spent with Renica right before I came to this world, I hadn’t really done anything on Soluminos just for me, and I knew that couldn’t continue. Sure, I got a new body in each world, but I didn’t get a new mind. Eventually, constant stress would slow me down, impair my decision-making, and probably get me killed. I’d died once already; I had no intention of doing it again.

That thought still sent shivers down my body; I’d seen my body, heard my would-be killers talking about my death, and yet, I still found it hard to believe. I felt more or less the same as I had on Earth, to be honest. The body I was in felt like mine. It moved like mine; it reacted like mine; it even seemed to have my muscle memories.

“That’s because your mind is the same, John,” Sara said quietly. “You’re still you, no matter your body. And each time you enter a world, you build a body that fits what you think it should be.”

“Wait, I build a body?” I asked, startled. “I thought you did that!”

“No, not really. I gather the energy to you, but it’s your mind and will that actually create it, and you intuitively shape it to be as close as possible to your real one. That’s why you’re always about the same height and build; it’s what you’re comfortable with and what comes naturally to you. Your body is a reflection of your self-image in every way.”

As I hung beneath the surface, I realized that I’d been down for several minutes without needing a breath. My lungs should have been aching, my head pounding, but I felt more or less fine.

“Sara, shouldn’t I be needing to breathe about now?” I demanded as I rose to the surface. I let my held breath out slowly – sound carries a long way across water, especially at night – and blinked the water from my eyes.

“Not anymore,” she replied. “Here, take a look.” A window popped up before my vision, and I read it a couple times before I was sure that I had it all down.

Bond Complete!

You have bonded a Lesser Bonesnapper. This creature is attuned to the Water element, granting you the following abilities:

Water Breathing

Passive

You can draw energy directly from water, replacing the need to breathe. Duration varies based on your Vigor stat.

Water Resistance

Passive

You are resistant to water-based spells, attacks, and abilities. Resistance depends on your Vigor stat.

Rapid Healing

Passive

Your body drains your bond to repair damage instantly. This also applies to your bonded pet. Unlike other passive abilities, you are unable to disable this effect.

New Attribute Unlocked

Bond Strength

The bond between you and your pet is a finite thing. Its strength is based on your Dominia stat, personal level, and the power of your pet. Damage to you or your pet weakens your bond, possibly severing it. The effects of a bond collapsing are currently unknow but predicted to be unpleasant.

Current Bond Strength: 41/46

Partial Adaptation!

You have partially adapted to the world of Puraschim.

Current Adaptation: 25%

Effect: Physical stat penalties reduced by 25%

“Wait, I can breathe underwater now?” I asked in disbelief.

“No, not really, and I don’t suggest you try. You can go without breathing underwater for a while now, is all. I can’t tell you the exact length, but it’s at least ten minutes or so.”

I shut down the screen, reveling in the feeling of my body ever so slightly regaining some of its strength. The effect was fairly significant – all my physical stats jumped three points except Celerity, which went up two – and I felt a little more confident in my ability to handle myself. Even so, I realized that standing up in the water the way I was made me a target, so I sank back until only my face floated above the surface, tilting my head back to look at the inky sky.

The stars sparkled and gleamed above me in thick whorls and bands, undimmed by the light pollution that plagued Earth. None of their patterns looked vaguely familiar, of course, but then, I didn’t expect them to. I didn’t really know how the Doorverse worked; was this world, Puraschim, in the same universe as Earth but located thousands, millions, or however many lightyears away? Or was it a totally different universe? Would it be possible for someone to get into a spaceship and fly from Earth to Kuan Yang, or Soluminos, or Puraschim? How would that even work in a world whose tech rating didn’t support gunpowder, much less rocketry?

“I honestly don’t know, John,” Sara said quietly, suddenly appearing in the air beside me, seeming to float on her back in the water although I knew she wasn’t really there.

“You don’t know if this is all one big universe or not? Is it even possible for it to be?”

“It really depends on how you define a universe,” she smiled at me. “What is the universe? Is it all existence and creation? Then by definition, the universe and the Doorverse have to be one and the same. Or is the universe a place where all physical laws are the same everywhere? In that case, each Doorworld is in its own universe because the laws are different from place to place. Maybe the universe is the collection of all points that have a direct physical path connecting them. Then – well, then I just don’t know. I don’t know if there’s a chance for light from Earth to somehow make it here to Puraschim, and I don’t know how to find out.

“I can tell you that from what I see in your memories, no, it wouldn’t be possible to travel in one of your rockets from Earth to Soluminos or Kuan Yang, even if there were a direct, physical path. At some point, the laws governing the area around Earth would change to the ones of the other world, and the vessel would stop working. It might even destroy itself, depending on how advanced it is and how low-tech the new world is.”

I stared at the sky for a while in silence, thinking about her words. “I guess the reality doesn’t matter,” I said slowly after a while. “If the only way from world to world is through the doors, then they might as well be in totally different universes – and honestly, I kind of prefer it that way.”

“Really? Why?”

“Because it’s hard enough to put those other worlds behind me as it is,” I laughed quietly, my mind flashing briefly to my time with Renica in the last world. A little knife of pain stabbed my heart, but I ignored it as best I could. “If I think of them as all part of the same universe, then I have to wonder if there isn’t a way to get back to them without the doors. I’d love to find out how Jing is doing – or how Renica handled my leaving – but I’m never going to. If those worlds are in different universes, then it feels like they’re permanently behind me.”

We floated in silence for a few moments before she spoke. “You know, John, even if there is a way to get to those worlds, the odds of you arriving while Jing or Renica still live are astronomically small. In fact, they’re probably both dead right now – or not even born yet.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, startled by the thought.

“Remember, the Doors don’t just lead to other worlds, they lead to different times as well. The odds of you finding a door back to Kuan Yang one day are low but nonzero, meaning that if you keep looking, eventually you’ll find one. When you do, though, it probably won’t take you to any point in Jing’s lifetime – or even during that current civilization. Trying to travel there without a door would be even more problematic since it could take centuries, millennia, or even eons to cross those sorts of distances. No matter what, those other parts of your life are probably closed to you forever.”

“It’s still easier to think of them as being totally cut off from me,” I sighed. “There’s no point in looking backwards, Sara. I have to keep moving forwards, at least until I get rid of this curse. Then, maybe, I can think about making a life for myself, on Earth or some other world. Until then, though, the past will have to stay behind me where it belongs.”

We both fell quiet after that and just floated, staring at the sky above. Something large and dark ghosted past overhead, and I tensed as its wings blotted out the stars for a second, but it vanished toward the northern horizon, either not seeing me or not caring. The moon, smaller than Earth’s moon but still large enough to provide plenty of light, hung low in the sky, bathing the world in its bright silvery glow, and the stars sparkled against the river’s surface. I hung in the water for what seemed like an hour as it flowed past, washing away not only the blood, dirt, and grime of the day but also the lingering memories of a past that was forever out of my reach.