《The Emperor's Concubine》Chapter 290: Making Up Her Mind
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After a moment of silence, Blanche spoke up. “It's a wonderful day today. It's a shame that I spent it worrying the whole time.”
Seraphina took that as her cue to stand up and straighten her dress. “Exactly. You already dealt with heavy topics the whole day. Relax a bit for now, or you will break under the pressure. That's why you should go back to His Majesty and let him distract you a bit. I originally wanted to take care of that, but it seems like I just made you worry about more things.”
That was true, but the concubine wasn't angry about that. “No, no. Thank you for speaking to me a bit. I would have snapped if I had to think about all of this alone. I already thought about the same thing a hundred times this week, and you finally said some things which I hadn't thought about yet. It's good to hear new ideas for once.” She stood up as well while knowing very well that she would go back to worrying as soon as the other woman left. “I thank you for your company and wish you a wonderful afternoon.”
Seraphina showed her a little smile. “It was a pleasure. I hope that you have a more relaxing afternoon too. But don't ponder things too much. The gears in your head are already getting tired. Rest for the night at least. Goodbye.”
Blanche mirrored the other's expression. “Goodbye.” She turned around and walked toward the building again. She gazed back one more time and raised her hand to wave before entering the palace.
Theodore was surely already waiting. For her and her response.
That thought was enough to make the concubine sigh immediately. It had only been a few seconds, and she was already thinking about that topic again. And no matter how much she wanted to avoid it, the voice in the back of her head just told her that she was a coward. She shook her head to herself and crossed her arms. “It's annoying...” She hadn't meant to say that out loud, but the words had already escaped her mouth.
Almost immediately, her maids caught up to her. All three of them looked like they were rather concerned about her. Stella spoke up first. “My Lady, if anything is bothering you, you can tell us. We might not be able to get rid of every issue, but we can do something to make it better.”
Darlene chimed in directly after that. “Exactly. We have countless friends among the servants, so they will certainly help too if we ask. If anyone is troubling you-”
Blanche quickly shook her head. “That's not it. I already told you that no person was worrying me. It's not that someone threatened me or told me that I wasn't good enough. I myself am the one that doubts that me becoming empress is a good idea.”
Angelica was silent for a moment before replying. “It looks like Lady Duremont encouraged you though. And if no one told you that it's a bad idea, why would you be the first one to doubt yourself? You should be much more confident. If Lord Astame, the royal advisor, is teaching you and praising your ability to learn, you can be proud of yourself. And...” Her expression became stricter. “You don't doubt His Majesty's judgment, do you?”
Blanche stopped in her tracks. Of course, she believed in Theodore. She also believed him when he said that the nobles couldn't cause any issues. His treatment of her in the past also hadn't been criticized, even though they had clearly broken some rules. And if even Seraphina and Duke Duremont agreed and believed that the nobles would just accept it, there was no doubt that they were right. At the same time, Leonard was convinced that the concubine wouldn't have any issues because of her missing education since his lessons made up for that. Theodore said the same and pointed out how good she was at helping him with his work.
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Blanche knew that she couldn't truly harm the nation when her lover was there too. The most she could do was not doing anything. And wasn't having a mediocre empress with no presence better than not having anyone to fill in that position? Every time that she did something good, it would be beneficial to the nation even if the change was barely noticeable.
So maybe, it would be better not to pressure herself that much. Every single one of her arguments of why she couldn't become empress had been refuted multiple times. The only thing that remained was her being scared of being burdened with that title.
That was embarrassing.
The concubine gritted her teeth and closed her eyes for a moment. She imagined the faces of all the people that supported her in her mind. When she thought about her family, one single thought appeared in her head. She could prevent such tragedies from happening again if she finally swallowed her cowardly behavior and managed to stick up for herself. Theodore was with her at all times. Then nothing could go wrong, right?
Blanche slowly opened her eyes again and balled her fists instead. She spoke up, but her voice was barely audible. “Will you... If I'd become empress...would you want to stay by my side?” After those words had left her mouth, she almost wanted to take them back. If she was seriously considering agreeing with Theodore, she still had to think about this longer. She couldn't just decide this because of a whim. But it was already too late.
She was greeted with three bright smiles. Stella stepped forward and took her mistress' hands. “Of course, we will. We promised that we would stay with you forever already. If you want to have us inexperienced lot with you, then we will follow you to the end of the world.”
About a second later, Darlene jumped forward and wrestled one of the concubine's hands out of the other maid's to hold it instead. “Of course, we will stay. You invited us to take this perfect job, so you won't get rid of us so quickly. We basically have a vacation the whole time, we get more money, and I can spend my whole day with friends. And since you are pretty nice, you won't even be able to scold us properly. It's perfect. So, you-” She interrupted herself and scanned the concubine's expression for a moment. “You won't cry now, right? Please don't.”
Blanche, who was actually fighting the urge to cry, nodded and showed her maids a radiant smile. “Thank you. Thank you.” She didn't know why she was getting so emotional right now, but she couldn't help it. Blanche pulled her hands back to wipe over her eyes and forced herself to take a deep breath. She wouldn't ruin this moment by crying.
Angelica slowly walked closer to the other three women and lifted her arms. She didn't say anything else, and she didn't need to.
It only took a moment for the others to join her in an embrace. They probably looked like a pile of uncoordinated limps that appeared in the middle of the hallway for no reason, but it was much more significant to them.
Blanche couldn't help but beam. Maybe it was because she finally realized that there were a bunch of people that were standing by her side to help her. She wasn't alone this time. If she kept that in mind, it was stupid to insist on the role of the empress being too grand for her. Of course, she was helpless alone, but she wasn't on her own. Other people would help her.
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And if that was the case, then maybe, just maybe, it would be fine if the villainess was crowned the next empress.
It took a while until the women pulled away from the embrace. Blanche was filled with so much encouragement that she was sure that everything would be fine. Though, as she began to climb up the stairs to her lover's office, her knees were weak. Her legs shivered, and she needed to force herself to go all the way up. Luckily, she didn't have to ask for help, but she was still much more nervous afterward.
She would tell Theodore about her decision now, and then she couldn't take it back anymore. Since she didn't want to change her mind later, that shouldn't be a problem, but her stomach was tingling so much that she could barely focus. She steadily progressed on her way and reached the office too soon.
Now she was standing in front of the door and seriously considered stalling for more time. The only reason she didn't do that was that the guards were already staring at her. So, she lifted her hand and prepared herself to knock
At that exact moment, a voice called out to her. “Blanche.” She turned her head to see Theodore, who was walking toward her. His hair looked like it was slightly damp, which meant that she had caught him right after he came back from his training.
And immediately, Blanche's nervousness disappeared, and she could just focus on her lover. She greeted him with a smile and extended her arms to hug him as soon as he reached her. She allowed herself to lean against him and hummed when he pressed a kiss onto her forehead. “You took a bath just now, didn't you? You should have told me, and I might have joined you.”
Theodore grinned at her and gently ran his fingers over her head. “That would have been a bad idea. Whenever we are together, we spend hours in the bathtub. I just take a bucket and pour it over my body before drying myself. That is much faster. We can't lose too much time every day. But I don't mind inviting you to join me again. It's much more pleasant with you.”
Blanche closed her eyes for a moment and relished in the way that she could cuddle against him without worrying about anything. Though, it only took a few seconds before she remembered what she had wanted to discuss with him. She slowly pulled back from his hug and looked up at him.
And this time, her worries suddenly didn't seem so grand anymore. Becoming the empress was a huge deal. She couldn't just say that she didn't like that position anymore if she noticed that it was too much. By then, she wouldn't have much of a choice anymore, which was a scary thought. But hadn't Camille been empress too? Apparently, that woman had done horribly while abusing her sons and forcing her work onto other people. Surely, Blanche couldn't be worse than that.
So, wouldn't it be fine?
As always, Theodore noticed immediately. “Is something wrong, Blanche?”
The concubine wanted to deny that. She was a second away from just saying that there was nothing special, but she couldn't do that. She didn't want to lie to her lover, and she also didn't want to keep him waiting.
Her response wouldn't change.
Blanche wanted to be the woman at his side, his only wife. She wanted to help him rule the nation and do as much good as she could with her limited experience. There were so many topics that concerned her, and being the empress would allow her to deal with matters that were important for the whole nation. Maybe she would feel overwhelmed with that role. But then she wouldn't be alone but be surrounded by people that were happy to help her. And if they were with her, she might even be able to do well. There was no reason for her to hesitate.
Blanche took a deep breath and gave her lover a smile, which probably revealed her nervousness, but she didn't let that stop her. She lowered her voice and whispered to him. “I thought about this for a long time, and I'm still worried. But you and many others believe in me, and I trust you. I will become your empress.”
Theodore froze at that. He took a moment to fully understand as he stared at her with wide eyes for longer than expected. When he spoke, he sounded hoarse. “Really?”
The concubine slowly nodded while doing her best to ignore the churning in her stomach and the blood rushing through her veins. “Really. I know that I don't have any experience or legitimization that would justify me taking this position, but...it will be fine. As long as you are by my side, I think that I will be able to help Artias grow. Maybe we can truly change the future and reach an ending that both of us will adore while also improving the nation as much as possible. We will be able to make our citizens happy by giving them as many chances as possible, right?”
Even though she had already spoken a bit, the emperor still only stared at her. She was slowly beginning to worry a bit. Had she said something that bothered him or had he wanted a different answer? She could barely imagine that. But before she could call out to him, he finally reacted.
Theodore's face lit up with a radiant beam as he stepped closer to her. She couldn't even prepare herself before he lifted her and spun her around. Her small yelp was ignored by Theodore, who continued to grin and whirled her through the air. He did so for another few seconds before stopping and pulling her against his chest. “I love you! Thank you so much. You'll be my empress, my one and only. Thank you.” He pressed a kiss onto her face and added a dozen other ones while becoming more sloppy with each one. “Thank you!” He continued doing that for a while without getting exhausted.
Blanche was a bit surprised about him carrying her without any effort, but she couldn't pay attention to that right now. She did her best to hug him back despite it barely being possible because he held her so tightly. “I love you too. I will do everything in my power to become a good empress.” Even though she had been nervous seconds ago, she was now beaming too. It felt wonderful to have made the decision, to finally have that topic off her chest. She wrapped her arms around him as tightly as possible and let him spin her around again.
She didn't know how much time passed. At some point, Theodore set her down again, but he didn't let go of her. Instead, he captured her in his iron-like grasp and buried his face in her hair. “I'm so happy. You can't imagine how happy I am. You will finally be mine in each and every way. You will finally have the position that you should have received two years ago.” He lifted his head and tilted her chin upward to smile at her.
Their eyes met for a few seconds before they began kissing each other. The concubine completely forgot that they weren't alone and let herself be controlled by her passion. She was pretty sure that this would end in their bedroom, but she didn't have much time to think about that. When her lover pulled back, she was breathless and could only hang in his arms.
Theodore beamed down at her and gave her another kiss on her cheek. “You made the right decision. I will make everything perfect, I promise. Thank you for trusting me. Now you are finally here with me, and I...I'm so happy.” He almost tripped over his words while speaking and ended by gifting her one more kiss on the other side of her face. “Thank you for giving me this chance. I will not disappoint you.”
Blanche reached up to cup his chin and stood up on her tiptoes to kiss him. This time, she controlled it, but by the time she pulled back, she was still the one that was panting. But she forced herself to reply anyway. “You would never disappoint me. I adore you, don't ever forget that. I will do my best to be an empress that is worthy of being by your side, and I will stay until the very end.” She was already crying, and Theodore was too.
Still, he just smiled at her so brightly that it was blinding. “You were always worthy. I will show that to everyone and prove that I deserve you. I will make everything perfect. I love you.” He rested his forehead against hers. “I love you so much. I can barely grasp that I'm this lucky.”
The concubine let out a quiet chuckle and buried her face in her lover's shoulder. “I can't either. We'll really marry and be together forever. I can't believe it.” They had won against the novel. Now they only had to deal with their enemies, and then they would reach their happy end.
Blanche took a deep breath, only to tense when she heard someone sniffling. She hadn't been that loud. She lifted her head to glance over her shoulder and saw how Stella was in the middle of using a handkerchief to hide her tears while the other two maids tried to calm her. It was a strange sight. She hated seeing her friends cry, but Stella was smiling, so it wasn't anything bad. No, Stella was happy for her because Blanche would finally marry the man she loved.
The concubine returned a bright smile while wiping her own tears. For a moment, everything was wonderful until she remembered where they were. She tensed and carefully looked around. This was the hallway in front of the emperor's office. What had she expected?
There were at least a dozen guards and servants here that watched the couple with expressions that ranged from surprise to adoration. Surely, none of them had the slightest idea why the emperor was acting like this when his concubine had only told him something quietly.
Blanche felt warmth rushing to her cheeks and quickly hid her face by turning to her lover again. “We should go somewhere private. Those people are probably really curious, but we can't tell them yet.”
Theodore grinned at her in a way that made her heart skip a beat. He gently stroked over her cheek as he replied. “They will guess it right away. There have been so many rumors that you can't even imagine it. You know why they call you the secret empress, right? They are looking forward to you becoming their empress. They all adore you, and they will cheer for you as soon as we announce it during the ball.”
Blanche had almost forgotten about that. “Right. We wanted to announce it then.” Surely, it made sense since people would ask questions about him taking another wife otherwise, but it still came a bit sudden. “The dowager empress will kill us.”
That day would be Camille's birthday, and she certainly wouldn't like it if her day would be ruined by some commoner being named the future empress. Certainly, she would throw a tantrum and insult Theodore for bringing in a person of such low birth. And that would make everyone there see how lowly she thought about commoners.
At the moment that Blanche thought that, her face lit up. “She will insult us, and everyone will see. Everyone there will finally understand that she isn't the kind mother that was falsely accused but a person that is filled with hatred. Everyone will get that she is only acting when being nice to others when they see how she attacks me despite the incident during my birthday.”
The emperor nodded with a bright grin plastered on his face. “Her engagement gift for us will be her ruining her own reputation. We will have a ball, and she will assume that it's for her birthday. But we won't mention that at all, and when she complains, we feign ignorance. We'll apologize but say that we organized this ball because we've always had a winter ball. That she just believed that it was for her is an unfortunate misunderstanding. Of course, we will have a separate engagement party, so you don't have to worry. But once we announce that you are my fiancée, all the attention will be directed toward us. She will lose her mind. And we will celebrate to the fullest and enjoy ourselves, which will directly serve to ruin her mood. Since her leg is still...affected, she can't really...walk well. So, she can't even follow us if we go away when we are annoyed. It's a flawless plan to have her blow up without us needing to do anything.”
In the past, Blanche might have felt a bit bad about treating another person like this, but ever since the last party, she had lost any respect for Camille. In fact, she was looking forward to provoking the dowager empress a bit. “That sounds good. Let us be as satisfied as possible so that we can annoy her. This will be another coffin in her nail and will drag her down without her noticing it.”
Theodore smirked at her. “That would be nice, but we won't be that kind. She will notice and struggle without ever having had a chance. Let's ruin her completely.”
From afar, the way that they smiled at each other might have looked like they were talking about a nice topic. It might be a bit surprising to hear that they were actually discussing how to drive Camille to the brink of insanity. But Blanche didn't care much. She was in a wonderful mood. She pulled her lover with her as she walked backward. “I trust that you will have the best imaginable plan for that day. So, we don't need to bother with that now. As long as you tell me what to do, I will gladly assist in provoking her until she shows her true colors.”
Her lover chuckled and raised his arm to spin her around again. Then he linked their arms and steered toward the staircase. “You're right. We have more important things to do today. We have to celebrate you becoming my empress. We'll have your favorite soup and salmon tonight. You won't need to worry about a thing. I will pamper you the whole evening.”
Blanche went along with his movements and then led the way to their room with a bright smile on her face. “I will remind you of that promise if you forget it. This is our day. I don't want anything to disturb us anymore.” She abruptly stopped in her tracks. “There is still a lot of work to do though. I can't be lazy now.” She turned to her lover with determination in her gaze. “I need to learn so that I can be a good empress.”
Theodore patted her head and pulled her forward again. “But you won't learn every single day. Take a day off. Leon told you to take a break, so you have to do it, or he will get upset. You know how scary he is when he gets mad. That means that we will go to our room and relax now. We can go through some documents tomorrow. And even if you don't know everything during your coronation, there is nothing wrong with rereading something before making decisions. So, don't worry too much.” He gave her an encouraging smile, and she melted.
When he told her that it would be fine in his warm voice, she believed it. Then it almost felt like nothing could ever go wrong.
Before, Blanche hadn't been completely sure, but now that she was walking next to Theodore and saw his grin, she was certain that she had made the right decision. She could become empress. She would do her job as well as she could. Suddenly, that didn't sound so scary anymore.
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