How do you start a story, if you don't truly know how it all began. One minute you're strangers, with views on religion that are so far from each other, and morals that should have stood in the way, and the next moment, you find yourself, not falling, but already deeply in love with them, and no idea of when the transition of strangers, to friend, from friend to confidant, and ultimately, something more than we ever imagined.

I remember when I realised I was in love, but I don't know when those feelings started, they creeped up on me, like a lion creeps on it's prey. No warning, just sudden overwhelming emotions. What's worse, is I know he is a man of God, a Pastor, and he has a wife and kids.

When I realised I was falling for him, it wasn't even a special moment, I had sat on my bed, thinking fondly of all of the memories we shared. The first time I met him, I was a teenager, and he was running the youth group connected to the church.

His son, and daughter were only a few years younger than myself. I cringe thinking about the fact I grew up with his children, when I wish nothing more, than to have grown up with him, so it would have had more of a chance.

I can't help but want for his touch, and now I find myself standing outside his office door, knowing he is alone, in his office, unsuspecting of what I truly desire to do with him once I open this door. I'm not even sure that I believe in god, the only reason I stay part of the church is for him.

Taking a deep breath as I stare at the baby blue door that leads to his office. Wiping my now anxiously, sweaty palm, on my black tights, I grip the cool metal door nob, trying to calm myself before opening the door.

The door creaks as it opens, making Pastor Dominique aware of my presence. He turns, his black desk chair turning with him. I see that wonderful smile grace his face, his salt and peppered hair and beard, neatly trimmed and groomed. His deep blue eyes shining at me. I can't help my eyes scanning his body, he's wearing blue faded jeans, a white backed with black and maroon flannel pattern button up.

He stands up, arms wide as he embraces me into a hug, my arms instantly wrapping around him and feeling safe, my head rests so perfectly on his chest. I can't help but want to stay in this hug forever. I feel him sigh under me before letting go. His finger tips caressing my arms as he lets go.

"Working on anything I can help with?" He smiles, and turns to his desk, showing me the latest schedule for sermons and church outings, including the fundraising events.

"I just need to call a few more places and ask if we can set up stalls for fundraising outside shops." I nod my head, leaning over his desk to read the screen.

I can feel his eyes on me, as I scan the computer screen for numbers to call, our bodies so close, that our shoulders graze slightly. I can't help the sigh that escapes my lips from the proximity.

"Are you okay Gracie?" I glance his way, which I should have known would be a mistake, his body so close to mine, it takes everything in me not to move in the distance and press my lips against his.

"Why do you ask?" I use a counter question to move the attention to him. I watch him gulp visibly, before he stands up straight and removes himself.

"Your cheeks are flushed." He mumbles before moving toward the kitchenette in the office area.

I watch him, leaning against the desk now, as he pours a glass of water, moving toward me with it. I smile at the sweet gesture.

"You're probably dehydrated" A soft laugh escapes my lips. He isn't looking me in the eyes as he holds the glass out toward me.

"I'm not dehydrated, but I appreciate the concern." I watch as a confused expression comes across his features.

"Are you sure? I don't know what else it could be." His comment makes my cheeks flush even more, as I know the cause is him.

My breath catches in my throat from the sudden warmth of his large soft hands cupping my cheeks and moving to feel my forehead.

"You're not getting sick are you?" He asks with a frown. My heart is racing so loud I can hear it echoing through my ears.

"No, not sick." I barely manage to verbalise those three words. Another frown makes its way onto his wonderful features.

"Then what could it be?" He asks more to himself then to me as he lets go of my face.

"You." I couldn't have stopped myself from saying it even if I wanted to, and at this point, I wanted to say it. Scream it really, so that he would see me the way I see him.

I watch as he stops in his tracks, his body tenses as he looks at me for a moment. I move closer to him, I smile softly to myself as I stand in front of him, I lean my hand up and caresses his stubbled cheek.

"It's you. Care so deeply for you, that it hurts. It hurts to know I can't have you." By the time I finish what I wanted to say, his features are soft, his body loosens under my touch and his hands have found their way to resting in my hips.

"I didn't know you felt like this." He answers me truthfully. I smile in response.

"It's hard not to fall for you" He gives a soft chuckle as he tucks a strand of loose hair behind my ear, caressing my cheek, I feel the grip of his other hand on my hip become more confident. He dips his head, his forehead now pressing on mine.

"Lord help me, because I'm about to sin." The sentence was so soft and quick that I almost missed it before I felt his glorious lips press against mine.

He didn't hold back on the kiss either, as soon as his lips pressed to mine, his tongue found entry to my mouth, fighting for dominance while deepening the passion and urgency of this magnificent kiss. I feel his body pressing firmly against mine. My arms, find their way, wrapping behind his neck,

I didn't know we had moved from our first position until I felt the cool, wooden corner of the desk under my arse. I take the hint and sit on the desk, which seemed to please him as his hands found my thighs, caressing their way dangerously high, his hot hands teasing my senses by stopping so close but so far from where I want them.

His lips move from mine, but I'm only able to take a couple of breaths before I'm gasping again from his hot tingling lips pressing against my neck and collarbone. I can feel the adrenaline surging through my body, every touch he makes, intensifies the feeling.

I can't help the small whine that escapes my lips, when his disconnect from my skin. His forehead rests against mine.

"I've wanted this with you for a while now... but I don't know if I can." My heart skips a beat, waiting for him to continue.

"I am a man of God, and I am married. We shouldn't be doing this." His words sting, but I know he is right, and by the tone in his voice, he doesn't want to be right.

His forehead is still on mine, a sigh escapes his lips, before his lips are softly against mine, slowly and gentle, but he pulls away again.

"I can't say anything to change your mind. But I will say this; I love you, and I don't think that will change any time soon... I don't want to ruin the life you have. But I don't think I can be in it anymore, I can't watch the man I love, live life with his wife in front of me. It'll destroy me more than leaving would." I watch as his body tenses from my words.

Without even a seconds hesitation, he responds.

"But I can't be without you." The shock look on his face, tells me he is surprised by his own admission.

Silence falls over us as his eyes drop, and my arms wrap around myself, trying to feel less vulnerable, before I break the silence.

"You can't have it both ways." He sighs in response, like as though he was expecting that response.

"I know... but as much as I wish I could do this with you... I can't." I can't help the tears that are threatening to spill over.

His gaze is one of tenderness, remorse and love, as he walks over. His warm hands cup my cheeks, his thumbs wiping my tears away, before he presses his lips tenderly to my forehead. I can't help the small whimper that leaves my lips, knowing this'll probably be the last time I feel his lips against mine. His he rests against mine.

"I'm sorry Gracie, I do love you, fuck... this is killing me" I can hear the pain in his voice, I also don't think I've heard him cuss more than saying shit when he drops things.

I can't seem to form any words, and all I want to do is connect my lips to Pastor Dominique's and without really thinking it through, that's exactly what I did, and it seems he was resisting the same want, as his lips moved against mine, and his warm hands, gained a bit more of a grip, bringing my lips as pressed against his as he can. One hand trails it's way back down to my thigh, the same thing he was doing earlier. But this time, I pull away, feeling the pain in my chest increase, knowing that this won't be happening again.

"I-I have to go" I manage to bring myself to say before walking out the way I came.

Once I'm off the church premises, I make a run for it back toward my apartment. The wind rippling through my clothes as the weather starts to turn, a storm brewing above me. I reach my apartment door, both helpful and a hinderance, I live a few streets down from the church.

Unlocking the door, almost seemed impossible, with shaking hands, fumbling over the hole for the key. It takes a minute, but I manage to open my apartment door.

I sit on the couch, letting myself sink into the couch, before scrolling through my phone and calling my sister, Valerie.

"Hey? What's up?" I don't really manage to put a sentence together, before the whimper from keeping my emotions in check, escapes.

"What's wrong?" She asks, now concerned rather than cheery.

"Can I come stay with you?" I manage to pull myself together enough to ask.

"Yeah, of course. Do you need money for the flights?" I sigh with relief before organising flights with her, she's my older sister, by two years, and currently lives in a different state as me, and I think right now, that's what I need.

Once we've organised a flight for tonight, I pack my bags, and organise for my neighbour to look after my place, and feed my cat.

It doesn't take long, before I find myself locking up my apartment door behind me, and putting my suitcase into the boot of my white Holden commodore. As I approach the drivers side, I hear a door closing from across the road, and without much thought, I look in time to see Dominique, our eyes lock, and I can see his eyes are red, most likely from the same thing I've spent my last half an hour doing, crying.

I avert my gaze, too painful to see him right now. I turn my attention back to my car, getting in, buckling up and driving off toward the airport.

It doesn't take that long before I've checked in my luggage, and I'm in line to board the plane, when I feel someone's hand on my hip, I turn around to see Dominique.

"I had a feeling I would find you here... please don't leave." I sigh, tears already making their way down my cheeks without my ability to stop them.

"I have to. I'll come back, but I can't be around this right now." His eyes were filled with so much hurt, but he lets go of my side, I sigh, turn and walk on, towards my flight.

From the moment I landed, my Valerie bombarded me with questions as to why I'm upset, and why the sudden visit. After countless times telling her I didn't want to talk, I gave in and told her everything. To say she was shocked, would probably be an understatement since she too went to the youth group and knows Pastor Dominique.

"Okay, so... best thing about coming up here, is that it's just you and me, and a city filled with night clubs." I smile and roll my eyes at her, knowing what she's getting out.

"Let's fuck those negative feelings right off with some alcohol and some dicks with dicks." I can't help but laugh this time. She grins at me, her perfect white teeth showing and her amber eyes giving that mischievously excited glow.

"I didn't pack for clubbing." She smirks.

"Well aren't you lucky we fit the same clothing." I roll my eyes but let her start to go through her closet to find something for me to wear.

Once we've settled on a noodle strap, black, tight, knee length dress with a side slit that goes pretty far up the thigh, for me to wear, we start getting ready. Half way through getting ready, she stares at her phone with a frown.

"What's up?" I ask.

"Pastor Dominique messaged me. Asking if you're with me." I can't help my heart beat quicken, knowing he's asking about me.

"What should I tell him?" She asks.

"Well, he saw me at the airport, so you should just tell him that I'm with you." She purses her lips, before replying to him.

I try to keep my anxiety at bay, and focus on getting ready, when the same face comes a cross her features. She sighs, and types without informing me of what the message says.

"Was it him again?" She nods, while still typing.

"What did he say?" I ask, she locks her phone and puts it down before turning to me.

"I'll tell you tomorrow, don't worry right now." I stare at her for moment, wondering what he could have said for her to have that reaction.

None the less, I trust her, and I leave it, trying to focus my energy on getting ready. The rest of the night, we spend drinking, dancing and grinding against random men we don't know.

The next morning's hangover is horrendous, but Valerie doesn't let me sit in it, instead she made me some disgusting green smoothie, and got us both up to her balcony pool for a morning sun bathe and swim.

"I've missed this." I say with a sigh.

"Well the pool balcony is new." I roll my eyes at her smart ass comment.

"I mean spending time with you, you dummy." She laughs.

"I knew what you meant." I smile and go back to sunbathing.

The rest of the week goes by with much of the same nonsense. Soon, I find myself packing my bags, ready to head to the airport in the morning. Once I've finished packing, I walk out to Valerie in her living room. She's relaxing on her grey, woollen couch.

"All done?" I nod and sit next to her.

"Yep." She smiles and gives me a side hug.

"You know, when you go back, you'll have to face him." My smile drops, as I remember why I came in the first place, during the week, Valerie successfully made me forget about Pastor Dominique.

"What was the message he sent that night?" I ask her, only now remembering that she hadn't told me yet.

She sighs, and grabs her phone and unlocks it. I watch her as she navigates through her phone, before handing it to me.

"Read it." I take her phone and read the messages on the screen.

Is she with you? - Dom

Yes.

I know she would have told

you what happened, it isn't

right and I know,

shouldn't feel this way, but

I love her, and I don't know

when it happened, or why.

I've never felt this sort of

feeling, and I know she's

hurting, please take care of

her for me. I won't blame

her if she never wants to see

me again. - Dom.

I don't know if you remember,

but she's had a lot of shit

happen to her, she doesn't

need you to go confusing her

even more. You're a grown ass

Man and she's only 25, and

you're a pastor. I get you

Say you love her. But if this

really feels like the real deal,

why would you waste it?

She loves you. She doesn't love

easily, but she loves you.

I love her too, but I'm

A husband, a father and

I'm a Pastor, it'll ruin my

Status in the church, and

It'll ruin my family. I can't

do that, even if I want to

with everything in me I

want to spend the rest of

my time with her. If it

We're just me and my wife I

would choose her. But I have

A family, kids, the church

community. - Dom

Do you want to wonder if you made the right decision for the rest of your life? Or do you want to be happy? Even if it turns peoples worlds upside down,

They'll adjust , it's life. Also, wasn't it the Church of England who started divorce in the first place? If you love her, you need to go for it, she loves you and you both deserve something that is special, someone who completes you.

When will she come home? - Dom

Next Sunday.

Okay. - Dom

I look at her, rather confused by the exchange, it's not really given me any answers, or any insight on how it'll be when I get back.

"What do you make of something like that?" She bites her lip and shrugs.

"I don't know, that's why I didn't show you until now. It's not really like he gave me any clue as to what he's going to do." I sigh, lean against her and give her, her phone back.

"I guess we shall see." We sit back, on her couch, waiting for a delivery of food to arrive for our last night together.

So when there's a knock at the door, we both expect it to be the food, so I hop off the couch, walking the distance to the front door. Upon opening it, my lips are taken by someone else's as their arms wrap around me. It takes me less then a second to realise who those lips belong to. I let myself take in the moment, as I've been longing for his lips against mine again.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, pulling away from him breathlessly.

It's only now that I've taken in the disheveled look he has. His hair is a mess, his usually neat beard has got a sexy messy look to it. I can see how tired and torn he looks. Honestly, seeing him in so much distress, is heartbreaking.

"I love you Gracie. I know you're coming home tomorrow. But, I couldn't wait anymore. I filed for a divorce, I haven't told her why, I just told her that I can't do it anymore. I don't just want you Gracie, I need you in my life. Will you please come home with me?" The desperation in his voice as well as his news, has almost got me fainting from how overwhelming it is.

"Gracie?" I hear Valerie call behind me.

As she walks in view, her stride halters. She looks between the two of us shocked, not sure how to approach us.

"Not food then." I can't help the small laugh that escaped as she mutters those words while walking away.

"Dom... I came up here because I thought I had no chance with you. You broke me before anything could even start. How can I trust that you won't do that again? That you won't change your mind and go back to your wife when we get home? There's so much history there, and I know you try to please everyone. You hate seeing people hurt. It's one of the best qualities about you." I caress his cheek as I tell him truthfully what is going through my mind.