Chapter 60 - A Rakshasa’s Strength

“You must learn to control your ego, Sessh.” Winter said sharply, looking up at the last of the sunset, its final spears of rosy flare filtering through the mountainous teeth of the Eld and into the heavy gathering clouds that were rolling in from the east.

“What does it matter to you?” Ja'Sessh rumbled, leaning against a nearby tree, his pale eyes drawn to Winter and her sudden words.

Winter did not turn, letting the silence between them draw out. The copper flares in her steel eyes becoming more dominant as night continued its descent. A faint rumble of thunder echoed through the mountains and a faint flash from between distant peaks flickered in the distance.

“A simple word of advice from one forged in the demonic planes to another.” she said, her voice low, “You can only make a fool of yourself, but that fool will live on in the eyes of those that see it. You have grown too used to those that set you on a pedestal. Out here in the rest of the Eld, you are unproven in this day and age. A curiosity that has been hidden from time and knowledge.”

Ja’Sessh watched her, running his tongue over a tooth and flicked an ear in annoyance, an insect flying close. The silence hung heavy, expectantly, waiting for her words to be known. Letting out a derisive breath, he leaned back. With one eye open he watched idly as she watched the sky, another flash and thunder in the distance.

Winter smiled slightly, “First they will see, then they will hear, and finally they will judge your utterances. There are many in this world that will be resistant to your glamour and they will see through you. See through that paper-thin façade that your appearance provides the moment one of your outbursts pass your lips.” she said, her tone growing more acidic and waspish as she finished.

He looked at her, his eyes narrowed. The discussion with Emissary from Knocht still fresh in his mind. The growing knowledge that he had been dismissed by others without a second thought as nothing more than a messenger left a painful sting he could not deny. He glanced up to the sky, dusk now complete and occasional flashes of white light from within the chain of mountains striking deep and branching among the angry dark clouds.

“You asked why it matters to me?” she said, turning and looking back at the Sanctum of Dagnatheln, “It doesn’t matter. But your people will be entering a world populated by many. Do you want the first thing spoken about being one of their leader’s lack of mental fortitude? Or would you rather the rumour that spreads to be of a fearsome and beguiling Rakshasa male that towers above others, both respected and feared?” she finished, her eyes now resting on him without anger or resentment.

Ja’Sessh stood, wincing at Winter’s words, the openness of her gaze intense and unsettling, “I would rather the latter.” he said, his voice barely a growl.

Winter nodded slowly in the dark, her face momentarily lit by the advancing lightning, “Then put those adolescent urges that you have lapsed into away and become the man and leader your people deserve. They look to you for guidance. Stay quiet, defer talk to Ekavira or others, watch, learn and fill the role you were created for. Show them who you were, show them the Conservator of Escorath once more.”

She stepped closer as thunder cracked closer overhead, her eyes glowing with copper, “Enemies can not judge one that remains silent and unyielding. Choose your moment, let your words strike true and let their tone demand that others respect and fear you. You are now a representative of myself, Antrandis, Sian, Silvast, Ekavira and finally, your people. Demonstrate that you are worthy of their praise and our trust.”

Winter paused for a moment, the first drops of rain falling as another flash threw her face into sharp relief, the ghostly shadow of horns and dragonesque wings behind her among the trees as the peal of thunder crashed almost immediately, shaking the forest, “Show the people of the Eld something they have never seen before.”

“Why are you…?” he asked, his words being drowned out by another crash of thunder, their eyes bright in the flash.

“Consider it a small kindness.” she said.

The rain suddenly hit, the lightning tearing a hole in the heavens above them. As the first of the downpour fell she reached out and grabbed his wrist in a vice-like grip, dragging him into the Shadow Realm between the flashes of lightning. The suffocating darkness enveloping them in a heavy embrace.

Without waiting for Ja’Sessh to recover, Winter started to move, immediately dragging him into the deepest of shadows that the trees of the real made. She wove between the twisted husks, mere representations of the life trapped within the trunks in the real. Finally halting, she turned and placed a firm hand on Ja’Sessh’s chest, stopping him in his place and shaking her head, gesturing for silence. With a nod, she led his gaze beyond the tree line.

Light flickered and sparked in the blackness; pools of shadowed light grew and trembled before fading. Dull booms and thunder made the thick air reverberate, the pressure tangible and oppressive. Ja’Sessh’s eyes widened, the display out in the open making him fight the urge to expose his teeth and hackles raise. Out in the violent display, misshapen forms shifted and squirmed, lit from behind by the lightning. Some being struck and dancing with terrible frenzy before falling, only to drag themselves to their feet to be hit once more. Their shadowy forms but spirits caught between the physical realms.

He looked to Winter to see her watching, her eyes glowering and checking the perimeter of the tree line. Without warning, her gaze snapped to his, the intensity in her eyes more frightening than the display. She pressed a hand onto his chest and he involuntarily backed away until he felt the semi-tangible tree at his back.

She stared at him, the copper glow in her eyes raging and overcoming the steel, “Wait here.”

Fear shot through him, “What, here? You said…”

“Pretend you are a tree if you must. You will be safe as long as you don’t draw attention to yourself.”

“What are you going to…?” he hissed, “You can’t go out there.”

“What you see before you, these ‘creatures’ are the dead with no-one to guide them. Elves, Dwarves and others, spirits trapped between realms that still desperately cling to their past lives.” she said with urgency, her eyes on his.

“Why are they here you ask? The Sanctum’s core is awakened; we of Azzar Kar’Sharn’s make still suit our purpose. To guide the souls to the forge, the wellspring of life on the Eld. To relieve those souls of their pain, to let them be free before their spirits are released to the stars. Toth made an agreement with our maker, to protect and seal the realms, to make the boundaries strong again, to resume the flow of life and reawaken the Shadow Realm, the place forever at the edge of darkness, but never within reach.”

“You called me ‘Gate Keeper’? The Host’s hand I am no longer.” she said darkly, “I am a guardian of the Realms, The Darkest Priestess of Toth the Absent God. Right here and now you will witness the purpose of my sisters and I.”

Ja’Sessh stared at her, his own pale eyes reflecting the sunset fire in hers, the colours of light between day and night before she turned and walked out, leaving him standing alone in fear. She walked directly through the shadows as they writhed tortuously, contorted and grotesque. Drawn to the power of the Sanctum and trapped by the storm as its bolts of lightning arced and pierced the boundaries of the real and lanced through to the place between worlds. They started to gather, following in her wake, greedily trying to grasp at her and the memory of life.

His fear held him in place, his pale eyes and white stripes in sharp relief as the lightning struck at Winter. Her height above the tortured shades with each and every bolt arcing off her without effect while her form changed to that of the valkyrie, not slowing her progress as the dead pressed in on her in desperation. Walking through them, she was unhindered, letting her hands pass through them with a comforting touch that made them calm. As she attracted the lightning, the shades stood below her, pitiful in their existence yet no longer pained.

A faint cold glow grew around Winter as her eyes blazed with steel fire. The lightning now arcing off a shell that had formed in the clearing while her wings outstretched. The light bloomed, and it was then that their broken visage was exposed to Ja’Sessh. Faces of the dead. Twisted and no longer recognisable as the beings they once were, only the remnants and final truth of their souls painted in shadows made light. Hurriedly glancing about, he noticed more shades fleeing the dark, scurrying past him and gathering at the call of the Valkyrie. Staring at her form, he watched as a pillar of cold, white flame erupted, instantly flaring skyward, engulfing those lost to the dark.

Shielding his eyes as he squinted through the glare he saw that the shades were no more, now restored to their likeness in life as they stood before Winter, bathed in her light. The ghosts of people, ready to leave their existence like they entered it, naked and bare to be judged before the being sent on to the wellspring. She walked among them, touching their foreheads gently and nodding to each one, acknowledging their existence and giving them their due respect. He watched as she bent and spoke quickly to one that could only once have been an elven child of no more than ten years.

Ja’Sessh watched the child as she ran, her ghostly form passing through others. Running until she stood at the edge of the light, only a few simple steps from where he stood in the darkness. Her once expressive features looked at him, her transparent lips moving but unheard as she called and gestured to him. He frowned, fighting the urge to back away. Glancing up, his eyes quickly found Winter as she continued to circulate. Looking back to the girl, Winter held out her hand and beckoned. Swallowing hard, he stepped forward and right up to the perimeter of the pillar of cold fire that both shot toward the heavens and seemed to sink through the dark ground at his feet. Reaching out tentatively he spread a hand, gently attempting to touch the surface. His eyes shimmered cold white with the reflected fire, one of his heavy hands raised, poised at the edge.

The girl backed away, giving him space, her lips moving and nodding. Taking a deep breath, he stepped forward with closed eyes and plunged into the flames. The chill bite cutting through his fur to his flesh, making him shiver and sneeze. Head bowed, he opened his eyes to see the girl standing close, reaching out her hand to grip at a single clawed finger of his hand. He winced at the sharp stab of cold as her fingers wrapped around his pointer, and the disconcerting tug as she led him to Winter. The dead parted, allowing him passage. Some watched him with the ghost of envy in their eyes, others with sorrow.

“How did…?” he said, looking down at the girl, noticing her lips moving without sound.

“They have so much to tell, though I doubt you can hear them.” Winter said calmly, nodding to another of the dead.

“What is this, Winter?”

She glanced at him, “These are the dead, Ja’Sessh. Now ready to become one, their souls to return to the Forge and their spirits and memories to the stars above.” she said, smiling to the girl as she still held onto Ja’Sessh’s finger.

He watched the exchange, “What happened to her?” he asked, looking at the girl in concern.

Winter grimaced as she glanced at him, “It is not my place to say.” she said with hollow eyes.

“Tell me, please, then why is she…?”

Winter smiled gently, and touched the girl’s shoulder, “She still holds your hand, because she thinks if you were there, it never would of happened, maybe she never would have done those things to her. Innocents like her can see the truth of the living and seek their protection.”

Ja’Sessh stared at Winter, “She? What happened?”

“I will not disgrace the dead by telling you of their last moments; of humility, pain, disgrace, and of innocence taken.” she spoke softly.

Ja’Sessh knelt and looked into the girl’s eyes, transparent but happy as they searched his face. He lips moved in silence.

Winter smiled, “She is saying that you are brave, that you would never let harm befall others in your care.” Winter looked at him curiously, “She can see that you still grieve for the loss of a child that you grew close to that was not your own.”

Ja’Sessh nodded, his eyes widening as the girl smiled and hugged his chest. He no longer felt the chill of the wraith’s touch, just the sensation of a breath of air disturbing his fur.

Winter watched them both, the large rakshasa’s gentleness unashamedly on display, “Ja’Sessh, any more and she may not wish to leave.” Winter warned, “You are allowing yourself to be too open, too receptive to her soul’s pain.”

“It does not matter.” he rumbled.

“What you are embracing is the remnants of a life. Not life itself.” Winter said calmly, frowning as she felt compelled to pet the top of his head, “Let her go, what you hold in your arms is what the girl lost, what was stolen from her before she was…”

Ja’Sessh glanced up and met Winter’s eyes, “I can hear her, her screams, her fear and unbearable pain in her last moment.” he said with his breath catching, “Like an echo.”

Winter nodded and watched him as the spirit’s hair rolled off his fingers, “You can’t save her, Ja’Sessh. You are many hundreds of years too late. But you have given her something in these moments that is far more important. She has found her champion, one who would save her from fear and protect her.”

She watched as Ja’Sessh looked at the girl. His shaken expression and the slight quiver of his hands.

“This is what you do?” he whispered.

Winter nodded, crouching beside him, “My sisters and I, no matter what keeps these spirits trapped here. Just a touch and it is nullified, they are appeased and can move on.” she said, smiling softly as the girl snuggled into his chest, drawing his arms around her protectively.

She shifted and met the ghostly eyes of the girl, frowning slightly as she listened to her words, “She would like to give you a gift to remember her by.”

The girl slipped out of Ja’Sessh’s arms and stood before him, reaching up and carefully pulling a number of her gossamer hairs, hanging them from her free hand. When she was done, she offered them to Ja’Sessh, draping the shimmering translucent strands over his clawed thumb. A sad smile came to Winter’s lips as she watched the girl loop her hair carefully around between the joints, making a thick band of hair that was woven in on itself before she looked up into Ja’Sessh’s face with a hopeful smile. He gave a nod and placed his large hand over her own and she seemed to glow a little brighter.

Winter placed a hand on the girl’s shoulder, “I am sorry, it is time.”

Swiftly walking through the darkness with Winter’s hand clamped around his left wrist, Ja’Sessh looked at his free hand, the thumb that the girl had braided her hair around, “Why did she…”

Winter glanced at him as they walked, “You do not know what the wrapping of an elven woman’s hair around a man’s finger means?” she said, immediately noticing the shake of his head.

She stopped in the darkness and held out her hand. Tentatively, he offered his own. Turning it, she exposed his palm and extended his thumb.

“In her last moments, you gave that child something she never had. You held her close and accepted her without judgement or question. In her last moments, she was given unconditional love. You freed her.”

She pulled back the fur on his thumb carefully, a smile coming to her lips, “You accepted her as your daughter.”

He stared at her, “I did no such thing.”

“You acknowledged her gift. The weaving of her hair, here, look.” she said, finding what she was looking for.

The faint glow of an intricately braided ring encircled his thumb under the fur, shining under the skin.

“It does not matter what you say. In your heart you accepted her; you were ready to fight for her. It would not have marked you if you did not.” Winter said with a gentle smile, “You now carry a piece of her, you gave her something symbolic that she never had in her short life. A father.”

Ja’Sessh stared at Winter, an ear flicking in uncertainty.

“It is something for you to remember this moment with, a reminder Ja’Sessh that there is greatness within you. Greatness that you do not even recognise yet. ”

He nodded slowly and frowned, standing firm as Winter drew at his arm.

She looked up at him expectantly, “Something more?”

“What was her name?”

Winter watched the expression in his eyes, “Yasamina.”

“Where did she live and die?”

“Ja’Sessh…” she said, shaking her head but giving in to his request, “Dekkarsmann, the port city. You would not be familiar with it.”

He slowly nodded, but remained quiet.

Winter’s frown deepened, “In some small way it could be seen as being merciful that she died young. That she did not have to endure more than once.”

Ja’Sessh’s tone rose, “The vulgarities of the…”

“Stop, you have no right. Life has many forms, from the gutter to the gods. The mortals do not get to choose the life they get born into. We can not save every child whose face is streaked with dirt and tears.” she stared at him, “You do not know how many children like her I have helped pass on. How many I have eased the passing of. How many I have personally taken the life from in an act of mercy as they silently cried in pain. You may have been living in an idealistic society among your people, but I see the fear of decline in your eyes. Less males born every year, but still the same number of children.”

Ja’Sessh winced, Winter’s berating hitting true, “What of Meliandra? Are there tear-streaked dirty-faced children?”

“Only those that fell in the dirt and grazed their knees.” she replied.

He nodded slowly, “I must…”

“You will do no such thing. If you wish to see the place she lived her short life, I will contact the Empress of Dekkarsmann. A priestess of Toth and well aware of the viper pit of a city she lives in, a den for thieves. It is time you open your eyes and not turn away.”

Winter watched him, the conflict on his features, “We must not delay any longer. Three hours have passed in the real.” she said, clamping her hand on his wrist again and giving him the opportunity to walk.

He dropped into step beside her as perception and distance seemed to shift and warp with the flow of Winter’s will. Closing his eyes and entrusting himself to her he let each step fall, taking them further as the darkness shifted around them. Time seemed to drag on as they walked in silence.

“No, Ja’Sessh. I am not concerned about our passage. After releasing so many souls earlier, the monsters will be in hiding through to morning. Then they will start to prey on the weak yet again.”

“They fear you this much?” he asked, opening his eyes for a brief moment and noting the set of her jaw.

Silence hung thick between them for a few moments before she spoke, “Fear is not a strong enough word.”