“Don’t you guys worry about a thing!” Vivia reassured us with a tinge of pride in her voice, “I’ll just talk to the soldiers and ask them to lend us a wagon, it’s really that simple!”

Well, that’s what she said, but in reality, things went just about as badly as you’d expect them to. For starters, the soldiers were apparently worried sick about their princess suddenly running off on her own, so they immediately started barraging her with reprimands. She was all teary-eyed and sad after that, so much so that she completely forgot why she needed the transport wagon in the first place.

“Seriously, Princess, you must remain vigilant!” The soldier sighed, “What if someone had taken you as their hostage once they figured out you were royalty?”

“Wait.” She stopped him right there, “Is me being a Princess supposed to be a secret?”

“You didn’t…” The guard stammered as he dared to ask, “You didn’t tell anyone that you’re a Princess, did you?”

“Loud and proud, as a matter of fact!” She puffed out her bountiful chest, “The looks on their faces when they suddenly realized they were in the presence of such a beautiful Goddess-err, Noble were hilarious-!”

“You…!” The guard held his head in agony as he tried his best not to slap the useless Princess, “Ugh, whatever! At least you’re back safe and sound… But it’s odd how they just let you go your merry way after hearing about your position. Most people would’ve taken you from us.”

“Oh, about that, I just remembered!” She gave him an innocent smile, “I’m going on a field trip with some friends, mind lending us that transport wagon over there?”

“No way in hell!” He outright rejected the moment we showed up, “Who are you people?! State your name and business with the Princess!”

“Ugh, I knew this wouldn’t work…” Arthur muttered.

“Be quiet! I’ll think of a way out.” I whispered back before addressing the soldier, “A-Ahem! It’s as Vivia said, we’re old friends who met back when she visited this place a long time ago.”

“How long ago?” The soldier remained skeptical.

“Oh, ages ago!” I tried sounding as vague as possible, “Come on, Vivia, vouch for us here!”

“Hm?” She tilted her head, “But we just met a couple hours ago, though?”

Dammit, is she trying to get us all killed?! This girl, I’ve thought about it for a while now, but I think she’s actually a lost cause! There’s no way in hell one person can be this empty-headed! I mean, seriously, she’s the one that told us to trust her and to let her do the talking, but before we realized it, we were put in the middle of the enemy territory with zero weapons and a zero percent chance of survival!

“Alright, I’ve heard enough.” The soldier pulled out his AFP.

“Stooop!” Vivia suddenly yelled, not only jolting the soldier, but alerting the others as well, “Listen here, you’re the head honcho of this battalion, right?”

“That I am.” The soldier replied as a matter of fact, “What of it?”

“So if you’re the leader here, surely you’ve been informed by my father as to why this attack is being done in the first place, right?”

Wait, the reason behind this war? Hell, now that I think about it, even we don’t know what the reason is. Actually, the only info we got out of our previous conversations with her were about her not agreeing to her father’s decision, but nothing more. What her father wants from this attack, why, and how he’ll go about it is still a complete question mark. Really, we should ask her about it later, but for now let’s just let her speak, since she seems to be trying to get us out of the situation.

“Yes, it’s because…” The soldier tried to speak, but was cut off by her prematurely.

“So what if I were to tell you that by not letting us go, you’re literally prolonging this entire situation?”

“Wait, you don’t mean…?” The soldier looked over at us, “Princess, who are these people?”

“Heh, just trust me on this one!” She gave him a confident smirk.

Wait, now I’m even more scared. At first I thought Vivia was just lying to the soldier to con her way out of this, but now I’m not so sure. Let’s see, none of us are important political figures, this isn’t the capital of Secundis, so what’s the deal? I genuinely can’t find a reason as to why the King would think to attack this place.

“…Okay.” He saluted before telling the other soldiers to procure us a wagon, “Safe travels, everyone. And remember, if anything happens to the Princess, your song ends immediately.”

“O-Our song?” I gulped.

“It appears you’re not familiar with the phrase.” The soldier explained, “In Carmen, the moment a person is born, a song is composed to indicate their birth. The song is then once again sang yearly on their birthday. But if a person dies, there is no longer a reason to sing their song anymore. Now do you understand?”

“We’ll keep that in mind…” I lowered my head before rushing everyone into the wagon, “Now, how do I drive this thing?”

Turning to Arthur and the gals in the hopes that at least one of them would have the answer to my question, they all managed to disappoint me as they stared back with empty eyes. Damn, none of us had tried, much less passed a driving test, so we have no clue how to even drive out of here…

***

“Uhm, let’s see…” I tried to recall all the times I rode a transport wagon as a passenger, “I think the driver would always twist this key thing first…? Whoa, that did something, I guess.”

“Ed, are we gonna be alright?” Miss Harper asked just in case, “Don’t get me wrong, if there’s anyone in here I trust with the steering wheel, it’d be you, but I’m just asking to make sure.”

Honestly, even I’m not too confident about answering that question, I’m afraid. I really thought it’d be a piece of cake to just drive a transport wagon along the road. I mean, all the drivers made it seem so easy, but in hindsight, I guess that’s just their years of experience showing. I’m sorry, Miss Harper, I’m kind of showing off a weak side of me right now…

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Anna glared at her with an annoyed expression, “You’re saying women can’t drive, is that it?”

“Well, I’m not saying women can’t drive in general.” She corrected Anna, “In fact, some of the best drivers I’ve had the pleasure of riding with were actually females. But I’m just saying that, in this situation, Mister Arthur is too old, not to mention none of us don’t have any experience with it.”

“For once, I agree with the Doc.” Arthur turned to Anna, “Ed’s been with Lune far and wide, so he must have tons more experience with transport wagons than we ever could have. Surely he won’t get us killed… right?”

“Why bring Grim into this in the first place?” I asked, a bit peeved at his remark, “But you’re right though, I’m sure I can figure this out. Now let’s see, next is the gas pedal, right? Hm?”

The engine was making some odd sounds, but otherwise the wagon didn’t move a single meter. We stared at the soldiers standing just outside the wagon before finally giving up and asking him for guidance.

“So you do need help after all?” The soldier that we just talked to chuckled, “Well, if you are to be the Princess’ escorts, then of course I should teach you the basics when it comes to driving.”

“If you could, that’d be a huge help.” I sighed.

“Alright, first off, you gotta put it into first gear.” The soldier began his explanation, “Without it being in a gear, it’s got nothing to turn the wheels with.”

“Ah, I get it now.” I smiled, “So then do I press the gas?”

“You’re forgetting the fact that the handbrake is pulled up.” He pointed to a stick on my right, “Pull it down. Otherwise if you don’t, then the wagon will simultaneously try to go forward and brake at the same time. It’d ruin the wheels very quickly.”

“Okay…?” I furrowed my brows nervously before grabbing hold of the wheel for the third time, “Now the gas pedal?”

“What is it with you and the gas pedal?” He started getting antsy, “Driving a transport wagon isn’t just hitting the gas and magically going forward! There’s tons of intricacies and nuances that need to be learnt first!”

“Geez, at this point I think it’d be better if we just walked to the dock…” Anna rolled her eyes.

“Don’t be like that!” I refused to give up, “I’ll get it soon enough, just wait a bit, dammit!”

“Maybe try adjusting the rear-view mirror?” Vivia poked her head out.

“I heard it’s illegal to drive without a seatbelt.” Arthur chimed in.

“Did you try turning it off and then on again?” Miss Harper smirked.

“Grrrargh!!” The soldier was at his wit’s end, “None of those things matter! What matters is that you know how to start the car properly, and how to stop it! You don’t need anything more, okay?!”

“…” We all stared at him, “Geez, we get it, no need to shout.”

“Hrngh….” He groaned a bit more before continuing his lecture, “Just…Here are all the gears. Just make sure to press down on that left most pedal before switching them. That’ll give you speed, but don’t go too fast, got it?”

“Yeah, I think I get it.” I replied, “Any other tips?”

“Watch out for pedestrians crossing the street. They’re idiots who will most likely never stop and wait, and will always expect you to stop for them. Don’t go running anyone over because of this.”

“Uhh, sure…” I replied, “But I don’t think we’ll be passing by any towns, so there’ll be no pedestrians to worry about. Anything else?”

“For the love of God…” He pleaded, “In whatever scenario you might find yourself in, DO NOT PRESS TOO HARD ON THE PEDALS! Just be gentle with them, and you’ll always be in control.”

Eh? Be gentle with the pedals? Ooh, I get it. What he means by this is that thing, right? The thing that happened once when Grim and I were riding in a newbie driver’s wagon. The entire wagon jolted horribly when the vehicle started, making us fall from our seats. The driver apologized, stating he hit the gas too hard. Is that what this soldier is warning me about? If so, then I should really take his words to heart.

In any case, he’s basically taught me to just not be too hasty. Geez, apart from explaining how shifting gears worked, there wasn’t anything else I didn’t already know. Well, seeing as he is an enemy, I’m just glad he didn’t pull out a gun and shoot me after witnessing my lack of knowledge… Alright then, let’s try and put his teachings into practice!

“…” I hit the clutch pedal in conjunction with the gas pedal, making the wagon roar horribly, “This is…?”

“Get out.” The soldier sighed, “I’m driving you to the dock myself, so please just get the hell out.”

“Alright…”

Getting out of the driver seat and into the back of the wagon with the others could only be described as a walk of shame. Sitting down next to Anna felt suffocating for whatever reason. I just couldn’t bring myself to look her in the eyes after letting her down like this.

“Sorry…” I slumped down in my seat.

“Thank goodness!” She smiled back at me.

“Eh?”

“If you’d have figured this out, I’d feel really inferior.” She explained, “Don’t worry about it! Actually, it’d be super weird if you had just gotten the hang of it first try like that.”

“Anna…!” I gave her a hug, the tears pouring out of my eyes.

She’s an angel, goddammit! A bona fide angel! I’ll give her lots of hugs and cuddles when I find the time for it, but for now we need to get to the dock. Driver, away we go!