good question. what would he gain? "not going to lie, my feelings are really hurt. i really like you bri and you said not to worry about parker." i wipe my face. "i really like you too mason. you're an amazing guy. this parker situation is just confusing." i frown. "you like me but i'm not him." i frown. "don't compare yourself to him. please don't."

"i'm not. i'm just trying to figure out what i did wrong."

"mason. you did absolutely nothing wrong. you've been so good to me. i just fucked up." i try to assure him. he just nods. "are we okay?" i ask.

"yeah. i just need some time to myself." he gets up. i do too. "that's fine. i think i'm going to go to my dads for a while. no one at the house likes me right now. i think it's for the best. also school's going to be horrible when we come back."

"do you think you'll get suspended?" he asks. "most likely, i don't know." i groan. i almost forgot about that.

there's silence. "thank you mason for listening." i say. "everyone deserves a second chance." he shrugs.

"you're a good guy mason. i don't deserve you." i say and he smiles a little. "bye brianna." he turns and walks to his car.

❀

when i got home i took a shower and packed some clothes. i had clothes at my dads house but i needed more sweats and baggy sweatshirts to match my shitty mood.

before i leave, i look at my brothers door. i pause for a moment. i drop my bags and i knock on his door. "come in." he shouts. i take a step in and when he sees me his smile turns into a frown. "oh it's you, get out." he turns away. "no." i walk in more. "fine then i'm leaving."

i watch him get up and push past me. i pull him back. "what the fuck is your problem?" i say getting angry. what i did had nothing to do with my brother so i don't understand why he's so mad.

"you! you're my problem." he yells. "me? what the hell did i do to you?" i yell back. "it's not what you did to me, it's what you did to mason." i scoff. "this is not about mason. this is about your hatred for parker. so you're mad about the parker thing okay i get it, everyone's fucking mad about it but i don't know why you are! you're the one who told me to talk to him."

"i told you to talk to him, not to fuck him while he's dating your best friend."

i shake my head. "i can't believe you. so that's it, i'm a whore now? i make one bad mistake and i'm a whore?!" i back up. "fuck you noah!" i storm out of his room, grab my bags and i run downstairs. without telling my mom where i was going, i walk right out of the door and go to my car.

i throw my things in the back then i start the car. i need to get away from here as fast as i can.

❀

i open the door to my dads house using the key he made for me. i'm extremely exhausted from driving and crying all fucking day. i shut the door and i see him on the phone on the couch. he jumps up. "yeah she's here. i'll call you back later."

my dad throws his phone on the couch then walks up to me. "hey bear. what's going on? your mom is panicking." i roll my eyes. "right."

i put my bag down and hug him. no crying. i promised myself i wouldn't cry anymore. "what happened?" he asks. "dad i think i'm a really bad person." i let go. i try to concentrate on my breathing. i honestly think i'm out of tears.

"come and sit, let's talk." he says and we start walking to the couch. he turns down the tv. he looks at me, waiting for me to talk.

"i'm not going to cry," i take a deep breath and i let it out. "dad please promise me you won't disown me." i don't know what i would do if my dad thought i was disappointment.

"okay now you're scaring me." he reassures me. i nod. "okay. remember when you asked me about boys? and i said there were no boys? well i lied. there are boys. two of them. one who i've liked for a few years now and one who i just met but it feels like i've known him forever,"

"the first guy is parker. the second is mason. parker is funny, sweet, hot, and i feel different when i'm with him. in a good way. mason is kind, funny, very weird, and he has a good heart. a really good heart. he's so amazing and i feel incredible with him." i smile for once today.

my dad doesn't say anything, he just listens. "parker and i like each other. we messed around for a little bit." his eyes widen. "but not like that!" i hold my hand out. well actually it's just like that. just wait until he hears what happens next.

he relaxes. "uh, so that happened and then riley came into the picture. they started dating which sucked because i really liked him. the other night...we did something wrong. parker came over to do a project and one thing let to another."

his eyes widened again. "you guys had sex." he sighs. i nod. "mom found out the next morning, i went to school, we told riley, and we ended up fighting. now mom hates me, noah called me a slut and mason doesn't like me anymore." i put my head down. i'm so ashamed of myself.

"noah called you a slut?" my dad gets up. "indirectly." i get up too. "that's not right, i'm calling him tomorrow!" my dad sounds angry. he's mad at my brother but not mad at what i did?

"dad i don't even care anymore. i just want to forget everything and move on." i put my hair up in a bun. "then that's what you do. you messed up, really bad. people mess up all the time. as long as you learn from your mistakes. people are going to be angry, that's okay, let them. you know what you did wrong, you confessed and now you're dealing with the consequences. all you can do is move forward."

i hug him again. "right...thanks dad. that really helped."

my dad is so amazing. i'll still never understand why my parents decided to divorce.

"i'm going to shower and go to sleep if that's alright." i grab my bag. "please rest. stop putting yourself down. you won't gain anything from doing that." he kisses my forehead. i go upstairs to my room. my room 2.0.