i know what i did was fucked up but i really do like bri.

"can i ask you something?" riley says standing on the porch. i nod. she comes down the steps slowly until she's in front of me. "why didn't you just break up with me? if you didn't like me why did you lead me on? why did you even ask me out in the first place?" tears fall slowly down her cheek.

i really fucked up. i didn't realize how this would've hurt riley. "riley i did like you! i do! you just started talking to me out of nowhere and hanging out was cool and everything... then you asked me out. i didn't know how to say no to you. when it comes to bri... i just..." i try to find the right words. "you just liked her first." riley finishes my own sentence. "yeah." she takes the words right out of my mouth.

"if you liked her first why didn't you just ask her out? why did you make it seem like you weren't interested in anyone else?" her voice cracks and she starts crying more. i pull her in for a hug and she automatically hugs me back. i thought it was obvious that i liked bri.

i'm a fucking asshole.

"bri and i were getting close and i was going to but... we started hanging out and... everything just got so complicated so quickly." i hope i'm saying the right things and i hope i'm not making anything worse.

riley suddenly stops crying and pulls away from our hug. she wipes her eyes. it looks like she's trying to calm down. "riley i am so sorry. i didn't mean to intentionally hurt you." i feel so horrible right now. seeing a girl cry is not a good sight. especially when she's crying because of you.

"goodbye parker." she goes back into the house.

i feel like i'm not needed here. i feel like i would just make things worse if i tried to come back inside so i left.

❀

i've been laying in my bed for hours just staring at the wall. i don't know how to fix this but i want to. i need to. do i give her space? do i not? do i act like everything's okay?

i would ask for advice but everyone in the house hates me right now. my brother won't even look at me, my mother doesn't say anything to me but i can tell she's judging me by the way she looks at me. the only person i have is natalie.

not even mason. mason! i jump out of my bed and grab my phone. i've called mason ten times now and they all go to voicemail. i decide to call one more time, hopefully he'll pick up. the phone rings three times before i could hear breathing on the other line. "mason!"

"what?" i could hear the hurt in his voice. "can we please talk?" i beg. there's a pause. "meet me at the park in ten minutes." he says then immediately hangs up.

i put on a hoodie and run downstairs. i know he said ten minutes but i could use some fresh air. as i walk into the living room, i see my mom and brother on the couch watching tv.

if i knew this would ruin my relationship with my family as well, i would've never kissed parker back. i just leave the house. it's not like they care at the moment anyways.

as i walk, i try to mentally prepare myself for this conversation but instead i end up crying out of nowhere. not full on crying, the i'm trying not to cry but the tears keep falling type of cry.

i reach the park and i freeze when i see him. he's standing by the bench. suddenly, my pace slows and my hands get all sweaty. i'm so nervous.

"hi mason." i catch his attention and he turns around. his face showed he was obviously hurt and angry. i don't know what other face i was expecting.

"bri." he doesn't look at me. "can we sit?" i ask gesturing to the bench. "i want this to be quick."

he's still not looking at me.

"okay..." i could barely get out. i wanted to tell him everything i told everyone else. about how i made a mistake. but now seeing him in person, i just want to know what he thought of me.

"i know you were there earlier and i know what you heard," i start. "i just... i just don't want you thinking i'm some type of slut or whatever." i try to hold in my tears but my jaw hurts so i just let it out. right after i feel his arms wrap around me.

"bri i don't think you're a slut. i'd never think that." he says and i sigh of relief. "i just really value your opinion and i don't want you think of me in a horrible way because i think you're really cool and i really like you..." i rant again.

he sits me down on the bench. i don't think he's that angry anymore. "bri," he moves my hair out of my face. "it was just a lot for me to hear that. my ex cheated on me and i don't know, it triggered me and i had to remove myself so i left." he wipes my tears away with his thumb.

i remember what noah said earlier. mason really likes me and i've been such a bitch to him.

how could anyone cheat on him? he's perfect. "why are you being so nice to me? you're supposed to hate me." i cry. he takes his hand off my face and sits back. "and what would i gain from hating you?"