family dinner actually turned out okay last night. there was a lot of laughs and i made sure to bring up the good old times. my dad was still in the guest room so i guess you can say progress was made but how am i supposed to know?

now i have to deal with parker. not that i didn't want to, but i was definitely wondering if he was mad or not. i mean i did basically kick him out.

riley's been talking about parker nonstop in the groupchat but i haven't texted back. i didn't want to hear about the stupid facetime conversation they had last night. if only she knew what happened.

parker was also starting to annoy me.

i walked to my locker and i saw mason there. "hey." i smile as i walk up to him. i kinda missed him. "hey. sorry to just show up at your locker i just missed you. i mean not missed you but like..." i watch him talk totally amused. "i get it, you missed me. i missed you too." i mess with him. "really?" he looks relieved. "yeah of course."

"cool... do you want to hang with me today?" he asks. i wonder why he's acting so nervous all of a sudden. "sure. what do you want to do?" i take a step towards him. "i- well...we could..."

"dude why are you so nervous to talk to me all of a sudden?" i lean on my locker. "well your brother said he'll kill any guy on the team that tries to talk to you." i actually laugh at that one. "don't listen to that asshole. if that was the case, josh would've been dead a long time ago." mason sighs. the bell rings. "i'll see you later. text me?" i tell him. "see you later." he waves.

❀

"i have amazing news!" riley squeals. i drink some water. "what's the amazing news?" nat mocks her. "are you ready?" she sings. "what could possibly be so amazing?" i say in between water breaks. i take another sip. "look behind you!"

nat and i look behind us and we see parker. "parker?" i hum with my mouth full of water. "yes! parker and i are finally talking!" riley says and i actually choke on the water. "talking?!" nat and i say in unison. "yes! parker! over here!" she yells and my heart drops.

i look at nat in horror. i don't know what to do. "hey." his voice is close. my fists bawl up without me knowing. "parker you know my friends." riley forces him to sit next to her.

i think i'm going to cry. or scream. or maybe both. i'm so confused. i wait for him to look me in the eyes. "so you guys are talking?" my fake enthusiastic voice comes out. i want to hear it from him.

he looks at me. "yeah."

i feel so angry. what if i just confessed to making out with him in my room? what if i tell riley how he's eaten dinner with my family?

that wouldn't solve anything.

"i have to go." i get up and walk away from our table. i become desperate to find somewhere else to go. i look at the soccer table and i begin to walk towards them. "bri!" natalie calls after me.

"bri i'm so sorry i had no idea!" she comes around the corner.

"he literally made out with me last night i'm so confused nat. once again, riley wins."

after fifteen minutes of ranting to my best friend, she decided it was best that i go home and that she should come too.

"did you really not know?" i ask lying on natalies lap. "i swear i didn't. you know i'd tell you." she plays with my hair. it calms me down every time. "i don't understand. i thought... i thought he liked me," a tear falls from my eyes. i'm not even sad, i'm just frustrated. "i don't know what i did wrong."

"you didn't do anything wrong!" she hugs me. "then why does she always win? she always gets the guys. she gets fucking everything!" i hug natalie tight and cry.

there's so much going on.

❀❀❀

i must've fell asleep on natalies lap. i get up slowly and see that she fell asleep too. the doorbell rings. i kiss her forehead, she really is a good friend.

i get up and slowly walk to go open the door. when i see him i roll my eyes. "go away!" i try to close the door but he holds it open. "please let me explain." he begs.

i look back at natalie on the couch. i don't want to wake her up so i go outside and i close the door. "bri please." he grabs my hand. i frown and pull my hand back. "explain what? you don't have to explain anything." i cross my arms. "then why are you mad?" he asks. "i'm not mad." i turn around. "yes you are." he turns me back around. there was no doubt that natalie was awake now.

"i'm not fucking mad parker i'm just irritated!" i accidentally yell. "why are you irritated?" parker starts to piss me off more as he keeps talking. "it doesn't make sense! how you were just kissing me last night and now you and riley, my best friend by the way, are talking but i don't care. forget it. i hope you two are happy. " i open my door and rush inside. i slam the door in his face and nat gets up obviously startled.

"boys fucking suck nat." my jaw trembles as i try to hold back my tears.