After I decorated the WHOLE house by myself, I did what I did best and that was cursing Yoongi out... For no reason. "I hate ALL men!". I yelled. "Good, bad, old, young, dead, alive, newborn and not here yet, I hate ALL you hoes!". I slammed the last gift on the ground. "He's gonna be a mad bitch when he finds out that those hoes are empty". I laughed like a maniac. "And if he even TRIES to touch me, divorce immediately".

"I told him to do one thing, ONE and he decided to choose today to be a magician, I hope he don't see Jesus". I scoffed then suddenly gasped. "I hope he runs into my bestie and Jin and I hope they film themselves castrating him". I shivered. "Oh, let me get my crackers and cheese ready". I squealed. "I'm calling the American FBI!". I jumped hearing Yoongi's voice and I ran over to him. "You...".

"I know Shark has ma baby!". Yoongi said and I blinked at him. "Umm... He's dead, Jungkook killed him and I watched". I said. "He's not dead to me!". Yoongi yells RIGHT in my face. "Hyung! I know where Shark is!". Jungkook says. "Finally I can put these HANDS on him!". Hoseok laughed. "Let me call my boys first". Namjoon said. "Shark is dead". I told them and they all turned to me. "Stop ruining this for us". Hoseok said.

"Who let him in here?". Jungkook asked. "We don't have time for this, I have to find my wife". Namjoon said. "My wife is also missing! How dare you not care about him!". Yoongi yelled. 'I-is he serious right now?'. I stared at Yoongi. "I'm right here". I hissed. "Jimin please". Yoongi said and I closed my eyes. "Come on!". Jungkook yells and they all ran out. I grabbed a cup of wine and stood a few inches in front of the door and waited.

It only took three minutes but Yoongi walks back in and hugs me. "I'm so sorry". Yoongi said. "My genius mind likes to play tricks on me". Yoongi kissed my cheek. "Welcome home baby, I waited for you just like the good hus...". "Why didn't you decorate our home?". I sipped my wine asking. "Uhh...". Yoongi rubs his neck. "I went to get your gifts!". Yoongi says. "If you dig into your pocket and pull out some gum, I'm leaving you". I told him.

"Please don't leave me". Yoongi begged. "Where did you go?". I asked. "I- I was looking for you". Yoongi played with his fingers. "I told you straight to your damn face yesterday that I was going shopping today and then I told you again this morning". I crossed my arms. "You talk fast and sweetly that I don't be paying...". Yoongi quickly shut his mouth. "Umm... Where do you want to go for New years this year baby?". Yoongi asked. "You don't listen to me?". I put my hand on my hip.

"Are you serious?". I glared at him. "I watch you lips move". Yoongi smiled. "You have nice lips". Yoongi said and I stare at him. "You got me presents! You're so sweet! Thanks babe!". Yoongi kissed my cheek again and ran over to the gifts. "I hope they keep your ass warm when you sleep on the couch until I feel like ungrounding you". I huffed and went upstairs. "What? Wait! I'm sorry!". Yoongi yells and I ignored him. "Jimin...". "I'm here for that ass Yoongi!". Xiumin yells.

"I'm here for Jimin's ass Yoongi!". Taehyung yelled. "O-oh... H-hi Kook, watcha doing?". Taehyung says and I heard him scream, so I ran to the window. "Get your kinky hands off me Hobi!". Xiumin said. "I will be getting a divorce, I'm taking the house AND the kids". Jin said. "I... We don't have any kids". Namjoon said. "My lawyer will call your lawyer". Jin said. "Yeah... You're not leaving me". Namjoon says.

"Who do you... Ya!". I saw Namjoon pick Jin up and I giggled. "Get off me! Tae help me!". Jin yelled. "I'm LITERALLY getting dragged to a car! You help ME!". Taehyung yells and saw me out the window. "Jimin! Help me! I love you!". Taehyung shouts. "Jungkook growls. "As a friend! Stop being so scary". Taehyung rolled his eyes. "I'mma go get fucked real quick and I'll come back, k babe!". Xiumin yells. "K boo!". I waved at him.

"You can still join us! I excel in bed!". Hoseok yelled. "GET THE FUCK OFF MY PROPERTY!". Yoongi screamed. "Bitch this ain't yours, shut up". Hoseok said and tossed Xiumin in the car. "Oh yes daddy". Xiumin says and I closed the window. "Jimin can we please have Christmas sex, I'm really sorry". Yoongi gave me puppy eyes. "Merry Christmas Yoongi". I finally left him in the living room. Yoongi groans and went to open his gifts, which he finally knew was empty.

"Wow". Yoongi nods to his self. "No gifts or ass, nice". Yoongi says.

"Merry fucking Christmas Jimin".