Tanya had a sudden sinking feeling.

“....Me?” she croaked, feeling her fingers go numb. “Your goddess thought that I— that I…” she tried to put her growing apprehension and disbelief into words but failed dismally. “She said that I—”

“Had the power that could kill a god?” Lukas offered. “Yes, she described your Frost as something… something truly ancient, much like herself. That this power was feeble, crawling its way into the world, but if given the chance, it could definitely harm a god.”

“Harm, not kill.”

Lukas sighed. “Now you’re just talking semantics.”

“It’s not seman…” she trailed off, unable to keep the shock and awe away from her face. The way he put it, those were some of the longest, most nuanced and most complex sentiments he had expressed about her powers. Honestly, it was far, far more bold a claim than she had ever made. It was beyond what she had ever imagined. The Frost had always struck as something wrong, and at the same time, something truly right. Like a piece of a puzzle that would fit perfectly under different circumstances, but somehow didn’t belong to the puzzle. She had always been content to believe it was a lingering corruption, possibly from the mother she never saw. Maybe she was a deviant, a hybrid from a different race like the himthursars? Maybe some of that corruption had passed into her through her mother.

But a God-Slaying power?

“You… you must be wrong.”

“Maybe. Maybe not.”

“You cannot be correct.”

“Again, maybe. Maybe not,” he said, his voice filled with a strange finality. “My teacher did say the power was barely there. I cannot guarantee what it can or cannot do as it is now, and certainly not after…. You know, I suppressed it—”

“If it couldn’t even defeat you—”

“Aren’t you listening?”

Tanya flinched at his sudden snap.

“I told you. It was at its weakest. And even then, you nearly killed me, before she stepped in. And before you call that weak, remind yourself what you did with just that. You decimated Level-3 bylestyrs, multiple of them single-handedly.”

“I had Ezzerons help.”

“You massacred through the muspel army—”

“You did half of the work—”

“You took a bolt of lightning and deflected it—”

“Yeah but that’s because I used pressure with the—” Tanya trailed off, seeing the growing twitches on his face. “Fine. I admit. The Frost is powerful. I mean, I really have no way of knowing just how strong it is though. I know it devours lifeforce and kills, but power-wise, Ezzeron is—”

“Not. The. Point.”

Tanya sighed, giving up. “Fine! So what?”

Lukas inclined his head and ruffled his fingers through his mussed, tousled hair. “All I’m saying is that there’s much more to your Frost than even you know. Which is why I want to know how you got it.”

Tanya opened her mouth to speak—

“And no, I’ve no intention of killing you in the end to steal it.”

—She shut her mouth. “I… I wasn’t going to say that.”

“Listen,” he said, with the air of a centenarian, “regardless of my powers, I’m a great believer of solving things through discussion. ”

Tanya gritted her teeth. The more this conversation went on, the more uncomfortable she felt. Lukas knowing this much about her was nothing short of alarming. That he had done things to her that she didn’t understand ticked all the wrong boxes inside her mind. More than his power, more than his skills and his secrets, it was this… this uncertainty that he made her feel that made her afraid.

Tanya hated being afraid. She hated it more than anything else in the world. Being afraid took her back to that hill, watching her father die with a smile on his face as he bled out, promising her everything would be fine. A false hope for a girl who had nothing to live for in this world, save her father’s one wish. And now Lukas was saying that the power, the power that had been source of everything bad that had ever happened to her was a—

A—

Lukas got up.

Tanya blinked and got up after him. “Where are you going?”

“Out.”

“Out?”

“Yes. I’ll fly around a bit. It’s obvious you don’t trust me.”

“I—” She wanted to scream otherwise, but the words did not come out of her mouth. How could she? Trust bred betrayal, and every single person she had trusted had betrayed her in some way. And Lukas was asking her to reveal her greatest secret of all. If he knew it, if he told others about it, she’d—

She’d—

“Lukas,” she pleaded. “I can’t. I — I just —”

Her response didn’t seem to ruffle him. Instead, he just sighed. “I know. And that’s why I’m going to get some air. Trust needs to go both sides, Tanya, so until you’re comfortable enough —”

“Lukas—”

“No you listen,” he emphasized, “I… I want you on my side. Not Zuken’s, not Olfric’s, not on the Empire’s or the svartalfars. Mine. You. Me. We’re not the same as the others. The only difference is that you’re trying so hard to pretend otherwise, and I’ve been proclaimed as the Outsider. You and me, our destinies are bigger, far bigger than Zuken’s machinations and the Empire’s constraints. There is a much larger world outside and so many things to unfold. I certainly don’t plan to live my life here, and neither should you.”

“That’s not your decision to make.”

“It’s certainly not you that’ll be making it.”

“How dare you—”

“Speak the truth?” He asked, without any melodrama at all. Matter-of-fact. The way most people said they needed to take out the trash. “In all the time I’ve known you, I’ve never seen you make a decision. Certainly not a relevant one.”

“Take that back!” She snarled.

Lukas met her eyes and said, “No.”

She subconsciously pushed herself back. “...No?”

“No. Tell me Tanya, which decision did you make? Perhaps the choice of killing the Anomaly core? Was that your decision? Or perhaps it was to take the Sin on yourself? The same sin that got you into trouble in the first place? Or was your decision to blindly trust Zuken Banksi when he offered you this job? No, you were a fugitive, and this was your way out. Perhaps… Perhaps it was when you chose to stay on as my nurse? Oh no, Banksi asked you to do that. The svartalfars, the training, the borderland… Tell me Tanya, which of these decisions were yours?”

Tanya opened her mouth to retort but words failed her. She didn’t move, didn’t breathe, didn’t think.

Lukas knew her. In a way that defied comprehension, he had found out.

Since when? How long had he known? Hours? Days? Weeks? Could it be that he knew from the very beginning? Was that also a part of his mystical powers? Could he have done what he did, and taken her side every step out of the way knowing full well the risk of the choice?

Why? Why? Why Why Why?

There was no answer she could come up with. She was left with the knowledge that he was fully aware of what she was, what her powers were, and more importantly, how she’d act. All her pre-emptive scheming, all the ways she had thought to try to exploit him and by playing him against Zuken and Zuken against him, while gaining benefits from both sides weren’t lost to him. He was fully aware of what her angle was, and was fully willing to cooperate. No, not cooperate. He wanted to trust her. Wanted to be trusted by her.

His blatant admission wasn’t meant to say that he was watching her. His casual admittance of her shortcomings wasn’t an attempt to bully or insult her in any fashion. What he had really told her was something far, far simpler.

You don’t have to hide.

For the first time since that accursed day when she had gained ownership of Ezzeron, Tanya had no place and no reason to hide.

It was the second most terrifying experience of her life, immediately after seeing her father die in an attempt to protect her. The man had asked her to fulfill his wishes, but what she had ended up was being a fugitive and a puppet. And yet…

Yet it was like a weight had been removed from her shoulders. A burden she had grown so accustomed to bearing for such a long time that she no longer knew it was still crushing her down. Her heart was beating in her chest at an accelerated rate, caught between panic and elation. She wanted to run away, get away from this madman as fast as she could. She wanted to forge a wind-blade and slice off his windpipe. He’d be dead before he’d realize what had happened. Secrets and paranoia were always her best weapon and only armor. Without them, she might as well be naked, defenseless and weak.

But run where? Where could she go? She was trapped in this borderland with him, but more importantly, was there a place where she’d be accepted as herself, with all her sins and faults? Could she run away from the one person who understood how tainted she truly was and not despised her for it?

I want you on my side. You and I—

You and I.

Such a simple statement, and yet, Tanya couldn’t think of anyone ever saying anything like that. All her life, she had always dealt in transactions. A favor for a favor. You scratch my back, I scratch yours. You do this for me, I’ll do this in return— that was how it had always been. But Lukas— he didn’t want a favor. He wanted her.

Her secrets.

Her faults.

Her wounds.

Her.

With him.

No matter how much her instincts screamed at her to act otherwise, Tanya couldn’t. She just couldn’t walk away from him because—

Because she had been given an opportunity. A chance to become something different. Lukas did not want her to sin for him. He didn’t want to hold something over her head. Tanya already knew she was indebted to him twice over now— first for subjugating the Frost and allowing her to retain her sanity, and second, to stand against Zuken for her. And yet, it felt like he was begging her to join him, not commanding, not coercing, not manipulating, but begging her.

Her.

There is a much larger world outside and so many things to unfold. I certainly don’t plan to live my life here, and neither should you.

A new world. A new start. A life where she’d be defenseless but not alone, exposed but not despised. Tanya did the only thing her confused mind allowed her to do. For the first time in her entire life, Tanya Shimizu shed tears. Of relief, or happiness, or maybe she was just goddamn tired.

Maybe being hopeful wasn’t just a word for dreamers and fools, but a distant promise shining down on her like the stars above. Maybe all of this was just a fanciful lie, but so what? At least in that lie, there was a chance that she too, could be saved.

“Shimizu,” she said.

Lukas turned around. “Excuse me?”

Tanya looked up at him. “Shimizu. One of the Sacred Eight of the Empire. Back then I was called Tanya Shimizu, daughter of Yanric Shimizu, the Lord of the Shimizu Clan..”

“And therefore, I am technically a princess.”