That Time I Got Sent to Another World Where All of the Girls Are Super Hot and Super Into Me Because I Am Super Strong and Have Very Powerful Abilities that God Gave to Me Because Me and Them Were Friends When I Was in Grade School and God Is Actually A Loli Who is Also in Love with Me Because I Am A Super Epic Person Who Will Defeat The Demon Lord Who Threatens The Entire World but the Demon Lord Actually is in Love With Me and the Demon Lord is a Super Hot Busty Babe Who is Actually Just Trying to Get My Attention Because I Have a Cellphone That Can Contact the Internet and Can Get Anything Shipped To Me Within 2 Days But I Barely Need It Because I Am Actually the Most Strongest Guy Alive Because I Have Super Strong Powers Like Being Able to Lift Your Mom Really Easily Which is Nearly Impossible Because Your Mom is So Fat But is Actually A Secret Anime Busty Babe Who is Really into Me Because I Am Super Cool and Better Than Your Dad Because He is Super Lame Which I Am Not

Wave 2.31 - That time I was reincarnated into another world and tracked down the plot

"Hang on a sec!" Skeletony shouted as I stepped out the window. Argh! Was he really causing me to delay my quest by up to or more than a minute? I knew he would wind up betraying me! I turned to face him, settling my hand on my katana (specifically that one part that's meant to be grabbed, not the sharp part).

"What is it?" I asked him, impatiently.

He gave me a bewildered look, rubbing the back of his head. "That's what I wanna know! Why the hell're you guys in such a hurry to go?"

"I really wish I could stay," I lied, "But the fate of the very world is at stake. I'm the [Legendary Hero], you know."

Skeletony reared back as if he'd been blown over by a sharp wind. "No shit?" he asked, "Damn, really? Well congratulations. Guess that makes sense why you thrashed me so hard."

I furrowed my brow at his reaction. I wasn't sure why people kept being surprised by my being the [Legendary Hero], but it was starting to hurt my feelings. "Yeah, well, I am." I replied huffily. "And we need to go kill one of the [Elite Four], who is training [Elves] or something. I have to go find out where he's hiding."

"An [Elite Four]?" he asked. "Well, I mean, I was an [Elite Four], yknow."

Wait a second... that's right! He WAS an [Elite Four]. I undid the parking brake on my katana, unsheathing it an inch or two. He quickly held his hands out towards me and waved them, either trying to signal for me to stop, or else attacking me with some kind of voodoo or something. I was pretty sure he was a huge pushover, but I learned [Voodoo Resistance] using my [Instantly Learn Skill] skill just in case.

"Hang on a sec, I didn't mean it like that."

I re-sheathed my katana, staring at him suspiciously.

"What I meant was, if you're lookin' for an [Elite Four], I might be able to help you, yeah?"

"Elaborate further."

He shrugged. "Well, I mean, I got my [Demon Lord's General] title. One of it's perks is knowin' where your closest [Demon] ally is."

Bonbon looked up from the table, where she'd finished putting everybody's leftovers into doggy bags. I thought it was kind of messed up that Wanda automatically got everybody's leftovers, but I could probably just order her to share.

"Wait," she noted, "The closest? You can't pick a specific one?"

I chuckled to myself. "The closest is fine, Bonbon. There's only like four of them, what are the odds that there'd be some other [Elite Four] closer than the one we're after."

Bonbon shook her head, carefully moving the bag away from Wanda, who was giving her puppy-dog eyes while trying to snake it with a stealthy hand behind the elf's back. "No, Hiro-san, the name is a misnomer. There's actually 40 of them."

I sighed. "4 + 0 is still just four, Bonbon..."

"... I..."

"Anyways. Go ahead, Tony. Which way do we go?"

Skeletony nodded, closing his eyes and focusing.

"Alright... got it."

I skateboarded across the plains, making a beeline for the spot that Skeletony had marked on a shitty paper map. I'd thrown it out a while ago, after calculating the spot it was pointing to in the real world and adding a waypoint marker to it. I veered to the side, bouncing off a boulder and hopping up to grind on a nearby tree's branches. I was relishing going at full speed because I currently had my entire harem contained inside my kokoro. (TL Note: "Harem" is the group name for 'waifu'. "A harem of waifus")

I popped off the tree and did a 720 spin + ESPer Air, using my [Telekinetic] skill to spin the board around me as I soared, T-posing through the air. I landed the trick, utterly destroying a bush and some kind of crab monster at the same time.

"ENEMY SLAIN"

"Hiro-san," Bonbon echoed from inside my noggin. "I don't want to... second-guess you, but are you sure that this is the right way? The raiders were [Valley Elves], so... it stands to reason that they'd be in the valleys, wouldn't they? Right, Pareiso-san?"

"I mean... probably," Ciel replied. "They always attack from that direction. Though we haven't found their [Hidden Valley] yet. So, I mean... maybe they're somewhere else?"

"Hmm," Bonbon hmmed, sounding unconvinced.

"Besides," I countered, doing my best to reassure her of the fact that I was very smart, "What are the odds that there would just happen to be a completely different [Elite Four] in this direction?"

"About 65%, wan!" Wanda calculated.

"Huh?" Bonbon asked, her voice taking on the strained, squeaky quality it usually did when she was out of her element. "How did you come up with that number?"

"I measure stuff a lot, wan!" Wanda elaborated.

"Huh? What... what kind of stuff are you mea-"

"That's great news!" I replied, talking over Bonbon. "65% chance that it's a different [Elite Four]? That's less than sales tax! It's practically nothing!"

"Wha-"

"Hold that thought," I told her, spotting a [Sand Slime]. "I'm gonna get some EXP real quick."

I quickly drew my sword and veered towards the slime, slashing through it with both my [That one move where you cut something and then sheathe your sword and it doesn't look like you cut it but you really did and you like turn around and then it falls in half] and [Anti-Slime Sword] Sword Artes.

The slime sliced in half, and then exploded into flames.

"ENEMY SLAIN"

I crested another hill, noticing that the texture of the ground below the dense underbrush had changed a bit. Huh... it was starting to get kind of sandy. That wasn't good! Sand would make skateboarding really difficult! I rode my skateboard out of the brambles and hopped off, summoning my harem from my [Pocket Party]. We'd have to continue the rest of the way on foot.

"We'll have to continue the rest of the way on foot," I explained. "Sand is the one weakness of a skateboard. It's coarse and rough and irritating and gets everywhere."

Wanda and Ciel looked around, still recovering from the effects of riding in the [Pocket Party]. Ciel seemed a bit disoriented, but Wanda looked fine at least. She had a casual, bloodshot grin on her face, her eyes red and puffy.

"Which valley is the hidden one, wan?" she asked, looking around. I nodded. That was pretty cool, it was almost like one of those koan things the CyberBuddhists would say back home. However, as I was looking at my adorable [Slave], something occurred to me.

"Wait, where's Bonbon?"

A pained whimper came from the depths of the bramble I'd just left, in the cadence and flavor of Bonbon's voice. I sighed. I couldn't believe she'd gone out of her way to get herself all tangled up in the thorns! I know that [Elves] loved nature and all, but there was a limit to these sorts of things, wasn't there?

I shook my head, turning to face the waypoint in the distance.

"Alright," I told Wanda and Ciel. "Get Bonbon out of that bramble, and then we'll get going. We're almost there."

"[Healing], wan." Wanda said again, healing the last few thorn-wounds Bonbon had taken from her little jaunt down bramble lane. The elf chef sniffed, still making quiet whimpering noises occasionally.

"Wan! Master, I'm tired!" the doggirl complained after she finished her spell. "You said we were close, wan!"

I quickly glanced over at Wanda, appraising her with my [Appraisal (but secretly infinite knowledge)] skill.

Wan Siduri

Active Title: [Slave]

Race: Animal-ears-person-folk (Dog)

Level 15

EXP: 110/1700

Skill Points: 79

Gold Stars: 4

Gacha Coins: 0

HP: 1750/1750

MP: 0/130

SP: 90/600

FP: 3/3

Attributes:

Stranth: 48

Dexterity: 53

Swoleness: 41

Magic: 12

Karma: -160

Mojo: 1040

Luck: 78

Skills:

[Jumping Mastery - Lvl 4] [Running Supremacy - Lvl 2] [Climbing Mastery - Lvl 4] [Swimming Basics - Lvl 8] [Parkour Basics - Lvl 2] [Crawling Supremacy - Lvl 1] [Cooking Basics - Lvl 2] [Punching Resistance - Lvl 6] [Slashing Resistance - Lvl 2] [Stabbing Resistance - Lvl 4] [Crushing Super-Resistance - Lvl 2] [Climate Resistance - Lvl 3] [Fish Resistance - Lvl 3] [Surprise Invulnerability] [Pain Resistance - Lvl 7] [Emotional Damage Resistance - Lvl 4] [Acid Resistance - Lvl 1] [Shame Super-Resistance - Lvl 9] [Alcohol Super-Resistance Lvl 8] [Drug Invulnerability] [Cringe Invulnerability] [Disable Resistances (Self)] [Fisticuffs Mastery] [Kung Fury] [Claw Supremacy] [Bite Mastery] [Tail Whip Basics] [Stunning Blow] [Fury Slash] [Berserker] [Fishing Basics] [Enhance Natural Weapon] [Surprising Claws] [Pantomime with Animals] [Wan] [Dog Hearing] [Dog Smelling] [Smell Like Dog] [Dog Vision] [Dog] [Language: Animal-Ears-People-Folk Language] [Pickpocket Supremacy] [Mugging Mastery] [Conga Line Basics - Lvl 1] [Sexpert] [Beautiful - Lvl 7] [Perfect Hair] [Extend Sensation (Drugs)] [Enhance Sensation (Drugs) [Extend Sensation (Alcohol)] [Enhance Sensation (Alcohol)] [Enhance Sensation (Sex)] [Enhance Sensation (Blood Sport)] [Greater Addiction] [Improved Stranth] [Greater Dexterity] [Lesser Magic Casting] [Lesser Magic Perception] [Lesser Magic Conscription] [Taboo Magic] [Lesser HP Regeneration] [Lesser MP Regeneration] [SP Regeneration] [Mental Coloring Book] [Binocular Vision] [Double-Ear] [Expert Hearing] [Sniff Supremacy] [Gluttony] [Lust] [Icon of Hedonism] [Avarice - Lvl 4] [Cruelty - Lvl 3] [Lesser Humility] [Nihilism] [Lesser Monologue]

Titles: [Animal-Ears-Folk-People] [Hunter] [Cute] [Doggirl] [Addict] [Icon of Hedonism] [Nihilist] [Monster Slaughterer] [Animal Killer] [Human Killer] [Slime Killer] [Thief] [Heretic] [Dog] [Slave] [Martial Artist] [Beast Warrior] [Parkour Amateur] [Teammate] [Criminal]

Natural Weapon Artes:

[Claw Frenzy]

Spells:

[Create Flame]

[Create Water]

[Create Drugs - Schedule I]

[Create Alcohol]

[Create Illusion]

[Healing - Lvl 3]

Huh. Based on her SP, she really WAS tired! How were the others doing? Bonbon looked even worse for wear, while Ciel seemed more or less fine. However, there was no point in me using my eyes when I had a cool Appraisal skill I could use instead. I decided to appraise both of the other members of my harem anyways, as a treat.

Name: Bonbon A. Petit

Active Title: [Enterprising Cook]

Faction: King Presley's Elvish Nation

Race: Elf

Level: 8

EXP: 650/850

Skill Points: 85

Gold Stars: 5

Gacha Coins: 0

HP: 950/950

MP: 260/260

SP: 5/195

FP: 2/2

Attributes:

Stranth: 21

Dexterity: 40

Swoleness: 23

Magic: 50

Karma: 150

Mojo: 17

Luck: 28

Skills:

[Walking Mastery - Lvl 3] [Hustling Mastery - Lvl 1] [Cooking Mastery - Lvl 8] [Burning Resistance - Lvl 4] [Slashing Resistance - Lvl 3] [Pain Resistance - Lvl 2] [Stabbing Resistance - Lvl 1] [Crushing Resistance - Lvl 2] [Food Critic Basics] [Enterprising Chef] [Kitchen Hands] [Knife Supremacy] [Speak with Animals] [Speak with Plants] [Stealth] [Improved Dexterity] [Beautiful - Lvl 10] [Double Chop] [Triple Chop] [Conga Line Basics - Lvl 1] [Aura (Food Preservation)] [Elf Ears] [Elf Eyes] [Lesser HP Regeneration] [Immortal] [Magic Conscription] [Culinary Magic] [Magic Perception] [Magic Casting] [Divine Cookery] [Princess] [Secret Princess] [Fated]

Titles:

[Cook] [Enterprising Cook] [Scion of the Kitchen] [Trendsetter] [Chosen of Flavos] [Princess] [Rogue] [Elf] [Teammate] [Human Killer] [Monster Killer]

Culinary Artes:

[Short Order Chef]

[Crunch Time]

[Precision Serving]

[Unbreakable Apron]

[Acquire Taste]

[Perfect Flip]

Trendsetter Artes:

[Mill Rumors]

Pugilist Artes:

[Fire Punch]

Spells:

[Create Food]

[Unburn]

[Bestow Flavor: (Spicy)]

[Bestow Flavor: (Sour)]

[Bestow Flavor: (Good)]

[Fistful of Spice]

[Purify Food and Drink]

[Freeze]

[Revitalizing Aroma (Fresh Bread)]

Ciel Pareiso

Active Title: [Paladin]

Faction: Kamikist Faith: Paladin Order (Tier-3 Devotion)

Level 18

EXP: 110/2100

Skill Points: 10

Gold Stars: 0

Gacha Coins: 0

HP: 3580/3580 (+2155)

MP: 300/300

SP: 1075/1200

FP: 12/12

Attributes:

Stranth: 75

Dexterity: 70

Swoleness: 78

Magic: 35

Karma: 1075

Mojo: 2155

Luck: 36

Skills:

[Jumping Supremacy - Lvl 2] [Running Supremacy - Lvl 4] [Hustling Supremacy - Lvl 2] [Climbing Supremacy - Lvl 1] [Swimming Mastery - Lvl 8] [Parkour Basics - Lvl 8] [Crawling Mastery - Lvl 3] [Punching Resistance - Lvl 8] [Slashing Super-Resistance - Lvl 1] [Stabbing Resistance - Lvl 7] [Projectiles Resistance - Lvl 4] [Crushing Super-Resistance - Lvl 1] [Light Invulnerability] [Wind Resistance - Lvl 3] [Burning Resistance - Lvl 5] [Fish Resistance - Lvl 8] [Surprise Resistance - Lvl 2] [Pain Super-Resistance - Lvl 2] [Acid Resistance - Lvl 1] [Vulnerability: Shame] [Vulnerability: Attention] [Disease Resistance - Lvl 7] [Poison Super-Resistance - Lvl 8] [Sleep Super-Resistance - Lvl 4] [Greater Grit] [Bulwark of Faith] [Inspiring Aura] [Struggle] [Fisticuffs Basics] [Martial Arts Basics] [Mace Mastery] [Sword Basics] [Axe Basics] [Whip Basics] [Shield Supremacy] [Shieldmaiden] [Stunning Shield] [Fishing Mastery] [Crushing Blow] [Divine Strike] [Acrobatic] [Athletic] [Beautiful - Lvl 5] [Six-pack Basics - Lvl 3] [Collection Mastery] [Language: Divine] [Language: Street Cant] [Volleyball Mastery - Lvl 9] [Soccer Basics - Lvl 8] [Gardening Basics - Lvl 4] [Singing Supremacy - Lvl 1] [Cleaning Basics - Lvl 4] [Weight-lifting Supremacy - Lvl 1] [Simping Supremacy - Lvl 4] [Paladin] [Duelist] [Surge of Speed] [Greater Stranth] [Skanda] [Greater Swoleness] [Armored in Faith] [Lesser Magic Conscription] [Lesser Magic Perception] [Lesser Magic Casting] [Light Magic - Lvl 3] [Water Magic - Lvl 2] [Devotion Supremacy - Lvl 10] [True Believer] [Oshi Supremacy - Lvl 8] [HP Regeneration] [Lesser MP Regeneration] [SP Regeneration] [Detect Crime] [Detect Evil] [Binocular Vision] [Obsession - Lvl 6] [Divine Grace] [Divine Power] [Fated]

Titles: [Orphan] [Street Kid] [True Believer] [Paladin] [Tomboy] [Sports Addict] [Muscleheaded] [Shieldmaiden] [Aegis] [Mace Maiden] [Fan] [Superfan] [Stan] [Simp] [Divine Warrior] [Pure of Heart] [Collector] [Singer] [Gross Eater] [Monster Disaster] [Human Killer] [Demon Killer] [Defender] [Peacekeeper] [Oathkeeper] [Tier-3 Devotion]

Mace Artes:

[Crushing Strike]

[Blazing Strike]

[Holy Strike]

[Giga Impact]

[Returning Weapon]

Volleyball Artes:

[Giga Spike]

[Power Serve]

[Unerring Footing (Beach)]

Paladin Artes:

[Divine Starburst]

[Lay on Hands - Minor]

[Zone of Truth]

Divine Artes:

[Offer Tithe: Direct]

[Shield of Faith]

[Ultimate Kamikist Arte: Divine Brat Beam]

Spells:

[Weapons of Light]

[Create Water]

[Bubble Blaster - Lvl 3]

[Waterwalk]

[Bonds of Light]

[Light Ray - Lvl 1]

[Glow]

Huh. They'd gotten some skills since the last time I [Appraised] them. I felt a little betrayed, while also a little worried about being left behind! Bonbon was the only one at a lower level than I was! I couldn't let myself become weaker than Bonbon of all people! I quickly dashed over the next dune, and was rewarded with a beautiful view of the beach below! Wow! A beach! I grinned a smile of pure delight. This seemed like the perfect place to have a beach episode! The sounds of shouting and clashing of metal on metal caught my ear, and I let out a quiet noise of disgust.

Well... almost the perfect place, anyways. I stared down at the group of elves, who were struggling to survive against a trio of strange monsters wielding weapons. I liked my beaches with a little less peril, thank you very much. Beach episodes were about fanservice! They were supposed to be fun, and carnal, not full of carnage!

"Whoah!" Ciel shouted, charging over next to me. "Those folks are in trouble! We have to help them!"

I activated my [Telescopic Vision] to get a closer look at the fighting. Yes, it was just as I thought. That spellcaster down there was a girl! And she had huge boobies.

"Yes," I agreed. "We HAVE to save them!"

I took a closer look at what they were up against. It looked like some kind of weird mix between a shark and a man. I would normally call it a sharkman, but that would make you think of, like, a minotaur except a shark. A guy with a shark head, and maybe some shark-type accessories. However, that's not what was going on here. The monsters were literal sharks, in all their fishy glory, with two beefy human arms, and two beefy human legs, coming off of them at approximately the positions that wheels might come off of them if they were a car. The fish bodies were still horizontal, even, but that didn't seem to affect their ability to swing their axes and spears around.

"FIGHT TIME, WAN!" Wanda shouted, leaping past me to tumble down the cliff. I turned to comment on it to Ciel, and realized that she was missing too, already halfway down the cliff and headed towards the fight. D-damn it! At this rate, they were going to steal all the EXP! Bonbon was the only one who hadn't charged into glorious battle yet. She was sitting meekly behind me, rubbing her arm and looking nervously away from me.

"Um, are you going to make me fi-"

"Come on, Bonbon!" I shouted, grabbing her by the arm and leaping from the cliff. "There's no time to waste!"

"W-w-w-wait! Hiro-san!"