This has to be totally perfect, nothing can go wrong-

"No! Come on Carrie, not there, pick it up!" Carrie turns to me, her arms full of flowers she was about to dump on the hay bale. She rolls her eyes and huffs off towards the back of the barn where my mom and Gemma are attaching the photos to the mass of balloons. "Make sure they're stuck on tight Gem!"

A hand clamps down on my shoulder and attempts to pull me back, "You, my guy, need to calm down." Vixxie pops her hip, brow raised.

"No, I don't. You guys need to step it up!" Her brows scrunch, eyes narrow. It's the stare she usually gives guys when they offer to 'turn her straight', and I'll admit it's humbling.

I breathe in through my nose preparing to eat humble pie, " I'm sorry... I just..." pinching my nose I try and calm my pulse.

"Blaze. It's okay. We all know and we all want to give Atty the best party we can. We're her family and whatever has happened between you two, you're still her family. She still loves you and she'll love this."

"You really think so..." Vj just looks at me, "That she... she still loves me." I can feel the tips of my ears heating a bit. Vixxie sighs, a smirk lifting the black wings attached to her eyes.

"And I was just getting over thinking you were just another dumb jock." She struts away leaving me with a bit more serenity. I can't fuck up on this, even If I've fucked everything else between us I want her to have one last good memory of us. This party is a bittersweet goodbye I guess, I don't want to let her go but I'll respect any decision she makes. The biggest mistake I've ever made were the horrible things I said to her before she walked. I'm under no illusion she'll walk away from me forever but I've got to try, try and make it up to her in any way I can starting with this. I look around the barn, simple but we've all put the most effort into turning this place into a party fit for a butterfly.

"Wow, my guys, this is looking incredible." Brady's voice booms as he steps through the doors a box in his arms.

"What on earth are you doing here? You're meant to be keeping Atlas occupied! And what's in the box?"

"Chill bro, she's at the studio, told me to piss off and pick her up after. She didn't want me to watch her routine or some shit. And Emily texted me asking me to pick up some bits." Streamers, cowboy hats and red solo cups spill from the cardboard. "This looks incredible Blaze, you've really outdone yourself, you soppy bastard."

I shove him and take the box from his hands placing it on the nearest hay bale.

"She loved the presents too. Didn't say much but you could see it in her eyes." Yeah totally, she probably hated them and didn't want to be rude, she's probably burning them as we speak. "She misses you, bro, she's miserable." My heart burns like someone's cleaved it apart and used it as a chew toy. "But this, this will definitely make her feel better. Especially knowing you organised it."

"VJ and my mom thought of it too."

" Yeah but they're not barking orders at everyone like they're in the military." I glare at him but his grin doesn't falter, he's got me.

"Fine, If you're here put yourself to use. Start hanging the lights."

"Yes sir, straight away sir." He salutes me and heads in direction of the stepladder. Throwing a cup at his head I turn back to the box and try to hide my grin. Cheeky shit.

"Brady you really didn't have to do this." We're sat at a table in a pizzeria, I watch him shovel my last few slices into his gob and stare at the ring sitting on my middle finger. A gold band with the six infinity stones on the gold, it's beautiful and I have no idea how the hell he got my ring size. Also sitting next to me is a Spider-Man pillow... with Brady's face on it. The goofball.

He shrugs and blows me a greasy kiss across the table.

"Really B, I appreciate it so much. I don't usually celebrate my birthday so this... this is amazing. Thank you." He stops chewing, a lazy smile spreading across his cheeks, "What?"

"Nothing. You deserve it Atty, I owe you a lot. You've bought our friend group together, bought me closer to Blaze and I gained a best friend in return." He pokes my arm across the table, " and before this gets too fucking soppy, whatever happens, and wherever we go. You'll always have me as a friend Atty. I love you and I know that when you're in New York and I'm... wherever the draft puts me, I'll be here for you."

He signals for the waiter with a wink and asks for the cheque. I'm not even religious but I thank whatever is out there for bringing these people into my life. I place my hand on Bs forearm and just smile at him.

He pays the cheque much to my dispute and we leave, Brady with the waiter's number, and hop into his car.

"Now the next bit you have to trust me on." He puts the car into reverse, " I'm taking you back to Carries and you need to get ready."

I look down at my sweaty leotard and purple joggers, my hair is slicked back with sweat and the gold bangle clanks against the side of the door.

"Ready for what? I am ready?"

"No, you're definitely not. We're going out so put on your glad rags and be ready in an hour." The sun is setting over the backdrop of buildings and the summer glow highlights the trees, every evening is a golden hour in the summer.

"Out? B no, I'm not in an out mood." I'm not an out girl, I think I've attended 5 parties in my lifetime and 3 of them were eight-year-olds birthday parties. It feels wrong having a good night when I know Blaze is... well... and it feels awful when the other family I should be celebrating with, introducing my friends to isn't here.

"Well too bad buttercup, we're doing this." I keep my gaze focused on the greenery stark against the colours fading in the sky. Brady's calloused hand rests on my forearm. "Please Atty, just trust me. You're going to love it."

A quick shower later and some dry shampoo I stand looking down at the bed, the purple silk slip laid out against carries white duvet. I have no idea where we're going but I think it's only fitting the dress makes an appearance. I slip it over my head and let it fall around the accents of my body. It's cool against my pale skin. The material dips into the swell of my breasts making them appear a bit more prominent and hugs my lower half, anything on underneath is complete suicide so no underwear it is. I almost feel empowered by the thought.

Lord is this what eighteen does to a person?

The purple dips into my hips, the exact opposite of what a dancer's body should look like but it feels like this dress was made exclusively for me to wear. There's a slit going up the side of my leg and stops a few centimetres from my hip, it floats down to just under my knees covering the bruise from the jump I failed to land the other day.

I swipe on some accompanying purple eyeshadow and a bit of shimmer to finish the rest of my make-up and raid Carry's closet for some footwear. There are hundreds of heels and they're all so nice but I'm only so brave as to go with one bold action tonight. I settle on a pair of converse with sunflowers embroidered on them. I suppose if Lily Allen can wear trainers and dresses anyone can. I take a final look at myself in Carrie's long mirror and smile, just slightly. The hint of pink on my lips matched the blush creeping onto my cheeks.

Okay, out it is.

Brady waits for me in the foyer as I descend the stairs. He's changed into another pair of jeans and a simple T-shirt that's way too tight against his chest, a checkered shirt slung over his shoulder. He turns and looks up, almost like that scene in clueless except I'm only hopelessly in love with one person and it's not B, as sweet as he is.

"Whoa, sexy mumma. Who is this fine babe." He bows comically and takes my hand.

"Is it okay? You wouldn't tell me where we're going so.."

"Atty you look beautiful, gorgeous. But when don't you." He places a soft kiss on my forehead and looks back down at me, "Happy Birthday Kiddo." He opens the door and leads me down to his car. "Again, the trust thing comes into play here. You can't ask any questions."

We drive for about half an hour before the car veers off onto a dirt track, the sky is now an inky blue and the stars have come out to say hello. The main road disappears and I try to see through the headlights where the hell we are. Right in the distance a small-looking barn is stood, it's right in front of a cliff edge that overlooks the city. It reminds me of where Blaze and I came from, what seems like aeons ago.

"B-"

"No questions!" He says in a strop. I roll my eyes and keep looking around for any clue of where the hell we are. We get closer and closer to the barn before Brady turns the engine off and helps me out of the car. I open my mouth but stop when his brows raise telling me to shut up and just follow. He takes my hand and tugs me towards the barn doors.

"Smile." He says

"What-"

He yanks the doors open and my eyes are assaulted by the hundreds of fairy lights hanging around the building.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"