It's almost midnight. I'm sitting against the headboard of my bed. I hug my knees, unable to stop my tears from falling.

My chest hurts so bad, as though someone has just stabbed it a thousand times. Finding out about Aiden and Olivia makes me feel like dying.

How stupid I am. How foolish.

I knew that this would happen sooner or later. The day when he would leave me for her.

My eyes squeeze shut as I remember everything that has happened between us. My sobs break again as I bury my face in my hands.

How could I allow myself to fall deep into this mess?

I care about him, but love was supposed to be something I should avoid.

Why couldn't I stop this feeling before it was too late?

I thought that Aiden Klein was a broken man, but the more we grew close, the more he dropped his guard down and showed me how much he was more than a broken man. Oh God, it has been so easy to love him. How could I not?

I've learned about Aiden's feelings. His emotions. I've seen the way he showed them to me. For me. Was it all a mistake?

Have I been wrong all this time?

I wipe the tears in my eyes again and think. No, even though what we've felt for each other is real, we still won't be together. There still won't be a happy ending for me. Because I will never be able to replace her.

It will always go back to one person. Her.

Another tear rolls down my cheek. My heart is broken, and there's nothing I can do about it. Maybe it's indeed time to let Aiden go, no matter how hard and painful it is to me. Even though my heart is his, his heart will always be hers.

Everything feels like crumbling at the possibility that they may have talked about what actually happened on their wedding day. Maybe she has told him about me and how I made her leave. Learning that he chooses her over me already hurts me to the core, and I don't think that I can survive if he hates me too.

Everything is so painful. Loving him is too painful.

My gaze falls to my phone, which is lying on my bed. I want to call mom and cry my heart out. I miss my parents so much. But I won't be able to talk to her without breaking down, and she will be worried sick. I don't want dad to know. I can't imagine what he would do.

Mom always told me that I would find the one someday and that the waiting would be worth it. She told me that I would know how it feels to be in love.

I close my eyes and cry. My shoulders are shaking helplessly.

I know it now, mom. I love him, so much. I love him more than I love myself. I've risked my heart, and now it shatters.

I've felt all the signs that make me brace myself for the fall. He makes my heart thud every time he's around. He makes me laugh, and he also makes me feel beautiful and cherished. He makes me feel like a woman. The way he looks at me, sometimes too intensely to the point that his eyes become glassy, always makes my heart feel like it's about to explode.

I'm so in love with him. He's my first love.

He took all my firsts. My first kiss. My first time. Every piece of me. I've given him my all. But he can't do the same.

Because he's not mine to keep.

I let out a shaky breath, imagining that I was wrapped in my mother's arms. I want to ask her a lot of things.

Does it hurt this much to love someone?

Is it this painful to watch the man you love with someone else?

Will she let me know how to be stronger?

Dad once said that mom was the strongest person he'd ever met. If only I could be as strong as her, maybe it wouldn't hurt this much.

I can't sleep in my bedroom even though I want to. I'm hurting to the point that the idea of sleeping makes me think that I can forget the pain. Maybe dreaming is better when reality is so horrible.

I end up settling on the couch in the living room with a blanket and a pillow. Even though a part of me wants to forget Aiden and leave, another part is still holding on to him.

His last words to me still ring in my ears, telling me that he would be back as he promised. That's what I'm doing now, waiting for him to come home to me, with the slightest hope that everything will be okay, that he will explain to me about this misunderstanding.

Even though the end of us is coming, I'm still trying to fight for what we have. I'm still holding on to this little faith in me that tells me to not give up on him. Just like always, I will be here when he needs me.

I almost doze off when a voice startles me, "Nevaeh."

I open my eyes, only to find Ashton approaching me.

He stares at me with concern. "What are you still doing here? Are you sleeping here?"

I nod, sitting up. "I just want to wait here."

Ashton lets out a heavy sigh. "I told you, Nevaeh." His voice is soft and filled with worry, but his eyes are trying to warn me. "He's not coming back tonight. He's still caught up in LA. You should sleep in your bed. I don't want you to hurt yourself sleeping on the couch. You worked hard with all the cooking and decorations, and I know that it's been a long day for you because of this birthday surprise you prepared for him. You need a proper rest."

I shake my head in disagreement, clutching the blanket closer to me. "I'm okay." When Ashton doesn't look convinced, I add, "Please. I want to wait for him. I'm worried. I couldn't sleep in my bedroom.

"But--"

"I know that you are sure he won't be back anytime soon, but I'm actually comfortable waiting on this couch," I say. "I don't know why, but it's better than trying to close my eyes to sleep in my bed for hours. Trust me. I've tried that."

I'm trying to sound nonchalant. I don't want to sound pathetic although it's exactly what I'm feeling. I'm so anxious that the only thing I want right now is hearing Aiden opening the front door to come back to me.

Ashton's eyes soften, and he can't hide the sadness in them. The sight makes me want to cry because I know that Ashton knows.

Judging from Ashton's competence, it's impossible for him to not know about the articles. He doesn't say anything because he doesn't want to hurt me. He's not trying to comfort me either because no one can deny the fact.

"I understand." He swallows, watching me one last time before walking away.

I sigh as he's finally out of sight. I adjust the pillow, lie down again, and pull the blanket up to my chest. I stare at the ceiling, which is decorated with balloons and letters wishing Aiden a happy birthday.

When I prepared this surprise, I couldn't wait to see his happy face. But now, I'm starting to worry if I will ever see him again.

No, Nevaeh. What are you thinking about? Don't fill your head with negative thoughts, as if crying in your bed for hours wasn't enough to make you feel more miserable.

Right. I promised Aiden that I would never leave him. Unless...

I shake my head wildly, unable to finish the sentence in my mind. It's so hard to hold my tears from falling.

I keep reminding myself that it will be alright. I'll be able to hear the door once Aiden comes home. It's okay to close my eyes. As Ashton said, I indeed need some rest.

Yet, I keep tossing in my sleep. I doze off, only to wake up once in a while. I can't even get a good half-hour nap.

I don't remember the last time I doze off, but my eyes snap open as soon as I hear the front door opening and closing. It almost makes me jump.

I immediately sit up. My heart hammers against my ribcage. Could it be him?

With shaky legs, I get up from the couch, ignoring the dizziness in my head from such an abrupt movement.

"Aiden?" I call, hurrying to the foyer.