Night was substantially worse within the forest and did nothing to dispel Serena’s notions that the place was indeed haunted. The more she thought about it though, ghosts would have been more preferable than all of this.

Wind whistled through the thick canopy, sending a shiver up Serena’s spine, the thick treetops nothing but a mass of gloom above their campsite. The light from the firepit, dug haphazardly by Doriyah, barely illuminated a few feet around them, the rest of the forest swathed in curtains of pitch, threatening to close in on them at any moment. Though they had sequestered themselves off the path on a dry spot Cruck’aa had found, the splashes of whatever lurked about in the waters around them still echoed through the darkness.

Serena sighed and rested her chin atop her knees, arms pulled tightly around her legs. She felt her skirt dampen from the bit of water that remained within the dirt, but she couldn’t find it within herself to care. Across the way, on the other side of the fire, Jo sat cross-legged, tearing into what remained of her fish skewer. No one else had wanted it, though the rest of them had fallen sleep after the first round of food; Pavel and Doriyah lay passed out off to the side of the fire, both stretched out in odd positions, their snores rivaling the wind that howled above them.

She couldn’t stop herself from glancing over at Werond, curled up on the opposite side from the snoring giants, sleeping in just the right spot to feel the warmth of the flames, yet far enough away to sink Serena’s heart beneath a wave of numb.

“Not bad, honestly.” Serena’s gaze flicked back to Jo as she mumbled; grease spilled down the sides of her chin as she tore into the fish. “Guys were overreacting.”

She caught Serena’s eye and immediately held out the skewer, offering the last few bites; she shrugged when Serena shook her head, and swallowed the last of it. Serena hadn’t much of an appetite, not after Werond’s revelation – or more accurately, Cruck’aa’s exception to everything she had claimed.

The fact that they had been asleep for so long had taken all of them by surprise, yet none of them had any time to process what that had meant, before Cruck’aa began his usual contrariness. From the moment he had been away of what Werond had written, he had taken it upon himself to fight her at every turn, easy when Werond lacked a tongue. No amount of arguing for her helped matters, and as the sun sank lower and lower into the sky, as Pavel and Jo’s levelheaded arguments gave way to screaming, as Doriyah’s threats of violence sounded more believable by the minute, it seemed to Serena that Cruck’aa had made his arguments based only on the fact that Werond had dared to speak up. And by the time Cruck’aa had stormed off, having thoroughly angered everyone, they had no recourse but to find a place to settle down for the night.

The canopy rustled above them as another breeze blew through the camp. Serena looked up and glared into the gloom, unable to see where Cruck’aa was perched. Perhaps that was good; Serena wouldn’t have been able to stop herself from screaming at him otherwise.

She should have yelled at him during the blow up, but Werond’s slump of obvious self-hatred had distracted her from much of the conversation – as though she blamed herself for the ridiculous argument. And no amount of inching closer and asking if she was alright had done anything, save making the numb worse as Werond shook her head and moved away, preferring the company of the bog water over Serena.

The trees whispered as yet another breeze tore through the camp, sending the fire into a strange, jerking dance. Serena shivered and buried her face against her legs.

Bahamut’s Teeth, it didn’t make sense. Jo had told her the same thing she’d told Serena, that the two of them needed to talk. But even if she hadn’t, none of Werond’s actions made any sense. Why couldn’t Serena just…be with her? They didn’t have to do anything, she just wanted to be close to her, to make sure that Werond was alright – what was wrong with that? Was she –

Something splashed in the water – far, far too close.

Serena yanked her legs away and leapt half-way up, hands igniting into flame, head on a swivel for –

“Serena that was me!” Jo said, throwing up her hands. “I tossed the stick away! I thought you saw, honest!”

An unbearable heat flashed through Serena; she stared at Jo, flames winking out of existence, before plopping back down.

“Oh…” Another shiver ripped through Serena’s back. “n-no, I didn’t, sorry.”

“No need to apologize. Sorry I scared you.”

“It’s alright.”

Jo nodded, then leaned back on her elbows, glancing around the towering gloom that surrounded their pitiful camp. The shadows from the firepit danced off her body and seemed to frame the exhaustion that weighed on her body like an anchor.

“Give any thought to what I said?” Jo asked, lowering her voice.

Serena grimaced as she crossed her legs, Pavel’s snores echoing into the trees behind them; now she asked this?

“A – a little.” Serena signed. “I need to…I do want to talk to her, but…was she – did it seem like she was open to talking too? I-I know what you said but…”

Her voice broke as her words trailed off, lost within the numb. Jo cocked an eyebrow but nodded all the same.

“Sure. She nodded a lot, though she kept cringing. Think she’s just embarrassed. Listen, you don’t…” Jo frowned. “Just make sure you get out what you’re thinking. Clear the air. Don’t need to get close again right away if that isn’t going to help, but at least tell her how you’re feeling. Because I imagine you’re feeling terrible, and that’s not helping anyone.”

“R-right.” Because it was so easy.

“Want to talk to her in the morning? Pull her aside? I’ll make sure Cruck’aa doesn’t interfere.” She glared up into the trees. “I’m sure he’ll try to find a way.”

“Probably. B-but yeah…I can talk to her in the uhm…in the morning.”

“Good. Try not to worry until then, it’ll all work out.”

“Right.”

Jo nodded, yawned, then fell flat on her back. She tucked her hands behind her head and used them to tilt her gaze up until she could look at Serena through the fire.

“Be alright if I knocked out?” She laid back as Serena nodded. “Right. Goodnight then.”

“Goodnight Jo.”

And within the span of a minute, Jo’s snores gently mixed with those of Pavel and Doriyah, a rumble that drifted upon the wind and through the trees. Bahamut’s Teeth, did all of her friends snore? Serena smiled and shook her head. She was sure none of them would believe her. Ned never did, and he had the loudest snores she’d ever heard.

Warm memories of her time before drifted to the surface of Serena’s mind, though they fled, along with her smile, from the chilling wind that blew through the camp – gods, why was it so windy here? She glanced up into the treetops and wondered if Cruck’aa would keep watch for the night. It was hard to trust him would he shot so evil of looks at him when he said it.

She sighed and pulled her legs back against her chest again. Despite being surrounded by snoring friends, it was difficult to not feel alone. It was a familiar feeling, not one that Serena enjoyed, and it was only in the silence of the night, when sleep eluded her, did her thoughts so eagerly run rampant.

Serena squeezed her eyes shut, rocked a few times, then shoved herself up, snapping the dampness out of skirt. On tiptoes, she moved to where Werond lay curled and sat down next to her, slightly out of arms reach, and immediately felt her body grow uncomfortably warm. A guttural noise escaped from her hands as Serena leaned her head back and stared into the trees.

A part of her so desperately wished to shake Werond awake and get everything over with, yet another part of her knew how stupid of an idea that was. She was already distant on the road, why would waking her in the dead of night make anything better?

But how often did they have those deep conversations so late at night, back in Waterdeep? How many times had both of them chosen to whisper to each other until the sun rose, talking about nothing yet somehow growing closer with each spoken word? How many times did Werond pull her tight and tickle her ear with reassurances that sent her heart hammering? Bahamut’s Teeth, how much she missed those moments. Maybe –

The hammering of her heart disappeared under the fresh wave of numb, tendrils creeping into her arms and legs. Serena grimaced and curled forward, burying her face in her hands.

She couldn’t do this. She absolutely could not do this. She had to wake Werond up, she had to talk, she had to – she wouldn’t survive the night if she didn’t.

Serena dropped her hands into her lap, body beginning to tremble; a deep, awful welling creeped past the numb, stinging in her eyes, building in her throat. She stared into the fire as it grew worse, struggling to find the right words to say, before she gave up and turned to Werond, hand raised to wake her –

Only to find her dull amber eyes staring straight at her.

The trembling stopped all at once, her body frozen under the weight of Werond’s empty gaze. There remained nothing cold within her eyes, no hesitancy, no thinly veiled grimace, but neither was there the warmth that Serena so desperately yearned for. She simply held her gaze and did not look away.

Serena pulled her arms against her chest, fingers finally thawing, the trembling of her body returning as she struggled to sign.

“I-I – I thought you were uhm…asleep.”

Werond’s eyes flicked away as she shook her head, as best she could lying on her side.

“Can’t uhm…sleep or s-something?”

Werond nodded.

“O-oh. I hope I uhm, t-that I didn’t…”

Her hands curled into fists, eyes squeezing shut; she sucked in a few deep breaths, struggling against the smashing of her heart, deafening in her ears, and when she looked back at Werond, her gaze was met with wide, worried eyes.

“Can we talk?” Serena blurted out. “P-please? Werond, I – I can’t do t-this anymore – I don’t w-want to feel like this, it’s barely been two days and I –” A shuddering breath ripped through her words. “Please?”

Werond pushed herself up and nodded, Serena’s heart almost tearing a hole through her chest. She crossed her legs as she straightened up and, after a moment’s hesitation, scooted closer to the fire. Serena scrambled after her and sat down beside her, close enough that their knees almost touched. Werond glanced down, then turned to fully face Serena, legs still crossed, gaze planted firmly into the small spot of dirt between them.

The numb squeezed Serena’s chest like a vice, her breaths a shallow mess as she mirrored Werond’s pose. Werond met her gaze for the briefest of moments before her eyes flicked back towards the ground, lips pulled into a tight frown.

Serena squeezed her eyes shut. Bahamut’s Teeth, how much did she want this yet she shook as though she were about to face her death. But she couldn’t let her body betray her – she had to talk, she had to make Werond understand, she had to –

She grimaced, flung her eyes open, and raised her hands to sign; they fell after a moment, arms burning from the effort, fingers a shaking mess. Werond looked up at the motion, and for perhaps the first time since they’d left that tiny stone building, it was Serena who found herself unable to hold her gaze. Biting back a grimace, she stared down at her hands, watching as they twitched and jerked, rose and fell. It was only after the fourth attempt did her words clumsily pour out.

“Werond I – I don’t – I’m s-sorry.” She blurted out. “I-I-I know you said – but it j-just feels like – g-gods, I d-don’t…gods damnit!”

Her hands flew to her head, grabbing fistfuls of hair, the world beginning to blur, heart hammering in her ears; there was too much to say, too much to get across, why couldn’t she just speak normally?! Why couldn’t she just be normal, why couldn’t she just be right – the right person so Werond didn’t hate her, she couldn’t do it, she couldn’t do this, she –

Hands grasped her wrists.

Serena jerked, the grey-orange-black mess of the world slowly clearing; Werond, kneeling before her, yanked her hands away and leaned in, firelight reflecting from her glassy eyes as she mouthed a single word:

Stop.

Serena met her eyes, those dull, amber eyes, as everything welled up all at once.

As the tears fell, as her chest began to heave, as the world came crashing down under the weight of everything she’d tried to bottle away, Werond released her wrists and wrapped her arms about her, pulling Serena into her chest as she was torn asunder. The heat from the fire and Werond’s embrace became almost unbearable as sob after countless sob ripped through her, yet Serena clung to her just as tightly as the first night she so desperately needed Werond, all that time ago.

The sobs were heavy, the tears legion, and Werond held Serena for what felt like an eternity, gently rocking her as she poured her grief into her chest. There was a distant part of her, tiny and insignificant, poking through her hot sorrow like a rock sticking above the waves, that knew she was being childish. But Serena couldn’t find the will to care, having gone without Werond’s embrace for so long. And so, she clung to her – clung to the woman she so desperately wished would come back to her, until there were no more tears to cry.

Her body was still trembling when she finally pushed herself away, breaths shuddering under the weight of it all. Werond pulled back but kept her hands on Serena’s shoulders as she rubbed her swollen eyes, as though she were afraid Serena would fall over.

“I-I-I’m sorry.” Serena choked out, hands against her chest, voice shuddering. “I d-d-didn’t…”

Werond shook her head as Serena shivered, body cold with sweat; she pulled her hands away and buried them into her lap, mouthing something at Serena before pointing at her chest.

Serena squinted, breath still shuddering. Her mind wasn’t working well, and she couldn’t make out the mouthed words. Werond caught the look and sighed, shoulders falling. She glanced around for a moment, shook her head, then dug her finger into the dirt like last time, angling herself to draw out a few words that they could both see.

No sorry – I hurt u.

Serena blinked. For the first time since they had left that stone building, that look of disappointment, those hunched shoulders, that frown and grimace, none of it was directed at Serena, but at Werond herself.

“But y-you –” Serena sucked in a breath, words beginning to even out, through her eyes still stung. “Y-you didn’t hurt me though, y-you didn’t. I –”

Her words died away as Werond hung her head and rubbed her face, suddenly looking exhausted. When she looked back up at Serena, eyes glassy, she tried to speak, only for a mangled, guttural sound to escape her lips instead.

Serena couldn’t stop herself from flinching, same as Werond; her hand darted up to rub her mouth, but Serena recognized the curse she silently spat out.

“S-sorry,” She signed. “I didn’t – I don’t know how we can talk about any of t-this. I don’t want to say the wrong thing. Uhm…Jo didn’t mention any ideas, did she?”

Werond snorted and shook her head.

“I don’t really…know what to do, then. I want to talk about everything but…I feel like I’ll say things that you don’t agree with, and you can’t talk and …you’re always shaking your head, so…”

Werond sighed and shrugged.

“But uhm…from what you said – er, gestured at before…I didn’t do anything?”

She didn’t believe it even as she spoke the words; there had to have been something she’d done to make Werond like this, because nothing else made any sense. But Werond nodded, pointed at Serena, then shook her head.

“R-right. But I…”

Her words died once more, mind reeling. There was something she was missing in all this. There was some miscommunication, and Serena was missing too many pieces to understand it all. It didn’t help that Werond hadn’t done anything, which to Serena, obviously meant that she must have. But if that was wrong…

Bahamut’s Teeth, she didn’t understand any of this at all.

“Maybe we wait then.” Serena said. “I…I don’t want to say the wrong thing so…gods, I wish I could regrow…” She sighed, chest tightening. “S-sorry. I wish I could do something but…until I can help, or we find someone else…we’ll just have to hold off, I guess.”

Werond nodded, looking equally sour at the prospect. The fact that she wasn’t trying to move or look away, however, calmed the storm that raged about Serena’s mind, enough for a glimmer of hope to ignite through the numb that swallowed her heart.

“But uhm…” She signed, hands trembling again. “until then, could we…do you think we could go back to…” Gods, it felt so stupid to say, yet it was everything Serena yearned for. “how we were before? I…I miss you…”

Her voice cracked as the words left her fingers. She held Werond’s gaze when she looked at her, heart hammering, that spark within her chest blooming, raging against the numb like an animal in its death throes. It flickered as Werond broke her gaze and stared down at her hands, pressed into her lap, face twisting against thoughts Serena so desperately wished she were privy to.

After a moment – a long, long moment – Werond looked up with a grimace, the same grimace that Serena now realized she’d loathed, and shook her head, mouthing the same word that had started all of this barely two days ago:

Break.

The hopeful spark was snuffed under a riptide of numb.

Serena sucked in a shuddering breath, squeezing her eyes shut against the sudden wave that yanked at her very being, threatening to consume her and whisk her back to that place of beautiful, horrid senselessness. It was everything she could do not to fall apart where she sat.

“Werond…” Serena breathed, feeling herself slipping. “I-I don’t u-understand, you still – my hair, the h-hug, why – why –”

Her eyes flung open, least the nothingness meld with the numb and finally yank her under. The rest of her words trailed off, however, as Werond pulled her hand away from the dirt, wiping a finger on her tattered pants, having spelled out more words:

Care 4 u.

Serena stared at the words, then looked to Werond; she simply rubbed her face and gazed into the fire, eyes alight with…Bahamut’s Teeth, so much that she couldn’t understand. Yet, beyond that, beyond everything that Serena wanted to say, beyond the sea of numb that ravaged her from the inside like an incurable disease, that faint spark ignited once more – a lone candle within the darkness, a tiny beacon standing against the greatest of her fears.

A beacon that could guide her home.

Serena’s hand shot out before she could stop it, grasping Werond’s wrist, hot to the touch. Werond jerked and stared at her, eyes wide, holding Serena’s gaze when she released her and began to sign.

“Werond, I…” She swallowed. “I-I just don’t understand any of this, I don’t. I’m still – I think, I’m…” Serena grimaced. “Gods, I hate this – not this, but not knowing what to do, what to say, I-I just don’t know. You – you were always the one who knew and…”

She shook her head, chest warming, ever so slightly, against the numb.

“I-I still care about you too. S-so much. But…if y-you think we need a break then…I can accept that. I-I don’t know why you feel that way, and I-I so much wish you didn’t in the first place but…I’ll wait. U-until we can talk. I-I just don’t understand any of this but…I-I know I need to wait. So, I will. I’m not going anywhere, I won’t. But…” She sucked in a breath. “Until then, can we…still look out for each other? Would – would that be okay? I…just want to know that you’re still there. Please?”

She pulled her hands against her chest, staring into Werond’s eyes, now glassy. Her gaze flicked about Serena, searching for something, until a small smile drew its way across her face. She nodded, then mouthed a pair of words that Serena had seen so many times before:

Thank you.

The spark flared as Serena nodded, and she couldn’t keep herself from mirroring that same smile as she stared down at her hands. And while the numb was still there, urging her under, its grip had loosened, dying back against that spark. Though they hadn’t truly mended the rift between them, Serena knew that she wasn’t as alone as she’d feared, and that was something to be thankful for.

Another breeze blew through the camp, sending a shiver up her back. She vigorously rubbed her hands together, signs forming to conjure back her personal flame, but stopped and stared as an idea sprang to life within her mind.

“Hey,” She signed. “I uhm…just thought of this. If you want, I can uh…I can try to teach you my signs. So…you can speak without writing. I mean, I’d be the only one to understand, because they don’t know what they mean but, if you want…I didn’t think about it until now…”

Werond’s brows furrowed together, mouth hanging open slightly. She slammed a palm to her forehead and nodded vigorously, sending a jolt through Serena.

“Oh! Okay, I, uh…” Her fingers wiggled and her eyes went wide. “I-I don’t think I’ve ever done this before, so uhm…I…” Bahamut’s Teeth, how had Ned taught her? “I guess we start with the letters, uhm, then your name? I think. So uh, follow me then, A is –”

Serena held up a hand and closed it into a fist, thumb on the outside; Werond narrowed her eyes and mirrored the pose, getting the sign right on the first try.

“Okay! That’s good! And B is –”

She held up four fingers with her thumb against her palm; Werond did the same, then cocked her head and pointed at Serena, opening her mouth and pointing it.

“What…oh, can I hear you?” Werond nodded. “No, that’s just me. I have to focus to make my voice heard in your head. Unless you have magic, you can’t do it, sorry. I can still read the signs though.”

Werond nodded, then gestured for her to continue, her face still narrowed in concentration. Serena grinned, happy that, for the first time since they started stomping through this gods-forsaken swamp, Werond seemed to feel something else besides abject misery.

She prayed to Bahamut that it would last until morning.