《Rage: Crisis / Consequence / ???》Chapter 19: Scars and Cracks
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The world was lost, gone. A dim focus, a leaking ethereal emptiness that he wasn’t supposed to see. But still, Seth could feel them. All of them. All looking at him. All staring down at him. All… Seth opened his eyes, and the real world around him drove away what it could. The anxiety of those eyes upon him still fresh… but fleeting. The burn over his left giving a more pressing, real sensation. Proving to him that what had happened, happened. There wasn’t a scar, but it didn’t need to, the feeling burned all the way to his skull so he would never forget. That he wasn’t himself yesterday.
He pulled himself up out of bed, the heavy drained weight of his body a familiar burden. The clock illuminating his dim room telling him he’d been passed out since yesterday. But it seemed pretty clear he wasn’t under threat for missing a whole day after… what happened. Even Para wasn’t that cruel. He changed out of yesterday’s connector suit, stains and tears another record he really didn’t need right now. But as he washed the dried blood from his face, he stared at himself in the mirror a little longer than normal. Nothing had changed but his demeanor.
‘Not… like anything was going to, right?’
The Garkah were silent, probably still working through everything that happened and giving him his space. Giving him a chance at some peace. But turning to leave, his peace was beaten like a drum. As he came face to face with his suit still standing at the door. The apprehension he felt couldn’t be fully described, like he was back in Berta for a third time. Like he was staring down another laceroid. The smell of phosphorus, blood, the heat, the callus speed of his heart beating its way out of his chest. He shut his eyes, gritted his teeth, slowed his breathing, seethed a rhythm back into his being, tried to center himself. That wasn't real. It’s all the past. He was safe. This was his… and he was more than it. But still he hesitated before grabbing the suit by the shoulders. Its weight was greater now, but he lifted it up and stood it back to the wall he had been leaving it against. A hand stayed on it, making sure it was inert, making sure his rhythm was his alone. Before breathing a shallow sigh of relief. He headed out finally, because at least he had the rest of the week to relax a little.
Morning line up was off the schedule, so everyone was having or on their way to breakfast. He passed by Kabar as he exited his own room, and the sullen and beaten look on his face told Seth more than enough. He wasn’t the only one who went through hell yesterday. But Kabar was wearing standard trainers instead of his custom suit. He only caught the slightest glimpse into his room, but saw his suit hanging on the wall mounts. Its lines torn and slashed apart, flames stained with blood and shredded. Para was going to fuck over every one with that Berta scenario it seemed. Kabar looked at him as he passed, sullen exhaustion shifted to marked agitation. He looked away to stymie any coming conflict, they both were too tired for that.
Entering the canteen, most of the trainees were already seated and eating the various choices that were laid out by Ambrose. Power Banana Pancakes, Super Steak n’ Egg Tacos, muffins. Ambrose was a good chef, but woefully unoriginal when it came to naming his dishes. But at least he tried. Seth went straight for the pancakes, drizzled only a half portion of syrup on the side, but scooped up two of butter. He never really learned what Ambrose’s powers were, only heard of and saw its effects. Despite the buffet style trays being left out ala carte, everything was still hot like it had just been made. He assumed he had heat related powers, some theory crafted he had limited time powers, but really no one bothered to dig deeper since the result was so good. And a better panacea than anything he could hope to manage.
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Seth sat at an empty table away from the rest of the trainees, they never bothered him and he didn’t bother them that way. But today it was different. The canteen was filled with ire, he felt glares from most of the trainees on him. But refused to let that detract from his breakfast. The few bites he got in were amazing. The light banana bread batter was sweet but soft, and the syrup accented it with notes of brown sugar. The butter melted right in like… well butter. But this soothing meal was short lived, as he finally looked up from his pancakes. Chairs were loudly pushed aside and his fellow trainees were approaching almost all at once save for Kabar, David, and Kaz. From the cowering hold David had over his bruised body it seemed like he was tested yesterday as well. But Seth didn’t have time to express this realized empathy before Maya stormed up from in front of everyone and slammed her hands down on the empty table, rattling his meal.
“Okay Tinman! You’re going to tell us just what the HELL you’ve doomed us all to! Because you better believe you’re going to pay for what happened to David…!! and Kabar I guess.”
Seth’s empathy was hardened to confusion.
“What the hell are you talking about? You know I can’t tell you, but why are you blaming me for what I can only assume is Para’s doing?”
Maya slammed the table again, almost breaking it.
“Because whatever you did provoked him!! Do you have any idea how badly hurt David was? Medi nearly had to put him back together just so they could even wheel him out of the arena! He was in the medical unit for hours! Whatever it was you did, you need to apologize so we at least all aren’t torn to shreds!!”
Seth quickly extrapolated as that phantom scar started to burn over his eye. ‘That son of a bitch!’
“All I did…! All I did was beat his fucking scenario. Blaming me for him taking it out on you isn’t going to help. And apologizing sure as hell isn’t either! You know damn well Para isn’t going to listen.”
Most of the trainees' already sour looks worsened, but worse yet Kabar got up from his barely eaten breakfast once he heard Seth's admission.
“The FUCK did you say!!!”
He pushed past everyone and added his hand prints to Maya’s on the now definitely broken table. The rest of the heroes in the canteen now thoroughly aware of the ruckus being caused.
“There is no way in hell that damn powersuit survived…! that a powerless loser like you beat those…!”
Kabar held off, even he didn’t want to make things worse.
“That… simulation. There is no fucking way!!”
Seth hardened a little but looked down, his phantom scar refusing to abate.
“You say that like it did. And again…! It’s not a-”
“What the hell are you all doing!?”
The group parted and looked back toward the door, Para had walked in and his expression was a league above his previous ire.
“If you’re trying to intimidate your fellow trainee into getting an advantage, you’re only going to make things worse for yourselves.”
Kabar broke off but continued sneering, but Maya redirected her anger at Para.
“Why the hell are you punishing us all for what Seth did!? Why are you taking out your frustrations on us?!”
Para only passably looked mockingly taken aback, something deeper burning beneath it like a mask.
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“Well excuse me Combo Breaker for thinking my students should be held to the same standard. Surely the heroes of the League should be expected to outperform any powersuit on the market right? So if a powersuit can defeat my scenario, a super should too! Or do you not feel up to being a hero anymore?”
Maya was visibly shaking with rage, and Seth couldn’t stand it either. The scar was practically on fire now. He tried to get up, to tell Para off. It would probably to make things worse but he couldn’t stand this-
“All right ENOUGH!!!”
But the canteen shook like it was afraid all its own, as Aegis burst in before Seth could break, grabbing Para by the shoulder and whirling him about. Everyone reeled, a mad Para was expected, a mad Aegis was terrifying.
“Para you’re banned from the sim control until further notice! Command doesn’t want to give our trainees PTSD before they even see true combat!! And further more-”
“More what!?”
That mask of smugness not lasting long as he leaned in to try and hide his fury, but Seth could hear.
“You and I both saw what happened. We can’t let that thing-”
Aegis pushed him off.
“It doesn’t matter. You’re throwing the recruits under the bus for your own sake.”
Aegis turned back to the group now fearing for the stability of their class.
“We are going back to actually personalized tests! Kabar, David, …Seth, you don’t have to retake yours. But… If you feel like you need to, we can run you through a test actually meant for you and not… someone else.”
Seth tried not to react to this, but sank back down hard in his seat, weighed down by more guilt at nearly losing himself again. Kabar looked angry, but retreated back to his breakfast. The group dispersed as well, Jacob and Maya going back to David to comfort him as best they could. Aegis and Para lingered a little as Seth was left alone again. Para’s fury simmering but stay at bay, while Aegis’ concern came back as she ushered him out. What peace this was allowed Seth to hold a hand to his eye, to try and snuff out this burn, but it was inescapable no matter how tightly he held. He tried to get back to his pancakes, but all this anger and guilt had ruined his appetite. And his fork was crushed to scrap in his hand. Things weren’t going to get easier, that was for sure.
The rest of the week passed with little conflict at least. The other trainees each taking their tests in kind and passing them. David eventually retook his test as well, passing it like it was nothing. Though comparatively it may as well have been. Seth spent most of his down time in his room, training wasn’t mandatory after all but he had to get himself together. And exacerbating tension further wasn’t going to help that. And the quiet gave him the chance to commune with the Garkah to get a better read on the abyss, and why it did what it did.
“It’s rage, pure and simple.”
Threat was being blunt like never before.
“It’s the energy that was built up over decades of unjust atrocities and mindless conflict. Or… at least a piece of it.”
Seth felt Speaker try to straighten out the conversation.
“The problem right now is not its origin, it is what is occurring with it now. Energy sources do not talk. Let alone… influence.”
Seth felt a collective worry at this comment, but then a seemingly collective correction. ‘Aren’t they all basically an energy source?’ He could feel Speaker run his hand down his face.
“We are different, we have actually been physical beings, actually been… uggh… sapient. The ‘abyss’ was never even sentient, so it seemingly having a will of its own is incredibly problematic.”
Seth could sense another Garkah take his attention, a scientist, one of the team that made the Ark. He’d worked his title out to be Concoctor since he was very heavily into theoretical sciences. His voice was mildly energetic, but wizened and stern.
“Are we forgetting that the Threat’s energy went through the same process as we all did? The crossover into the Ark gave each of us a simulated being for our consciousness to inhabit. One fully tailored to our original bodies and tied to it. This facilitated our retained identities, rather than our eventual disassociation and conglomeration without them. But this simulation is incredibly robust, practically down to the molecular level. Every separate entity that went into the Ark was given their own bodies, ‘their’ bodies, defects and all. The Threat was no exception, but his energy was separated. Like a mass of clay forced through a hole We were able to use and retain our own energy as a part of us. Threat on the other hand was thoroughly separated, both as he entered and as he came to rest with us in the simulation. Our fear too great to just leave him be in that fragile time. So the mass of his energies were disconnected and locked away. And then another piece of these energies was sealed yet again, inside of Seth.”
“Before in the Ark these neglected and semi-conscious energies would have been left isolated in the storage sectors, cut off from the host they were formed around. In turn they would have held to the imprint of their host, if only in hollow mimicry. But their amorphous beings would have melded together and destroyed each other before any sort of sentience could be created to fill this void. Except now there is a single contained and stifled source that more than likely has access to Seth’s experiences, just as we do. I contend then that Threat’s energies are working through a passively accelerated sentience, it is gaining a stable personality all its own, a being all its own. If it is allowed to progress it may very well learn to break its binds and consume us all, Seth included. Therefore I suggest we… head it off at the pass… A full consciousness should be able to take in this energy and wipe away this proto-personality growing within it. Thus reverting it to just that, energy.”
A wave of affirmation signaled the Garkah understood his theory. Speaker and Threat both moved to speak, but Threat thought better and let Speaker up first.
“The only issue then is who can withstand that much power, especially if it is now possibly sentient?”
Speaker directed his regard at Threat, but he seemed to rebuke it.
“I can’t…”
A tinge of collective surprise.
“Hgrr… Holding on to power like that wears down on you, it eats away at you. I didn’t come in with much left of me. I can’t hold that power again. And honestly, I’m surprised you would even think of letting me. But really… we have a better candidate.”
Seth felt Threat focus on him. ‘W-wait…’ The collective rustled but understood.
“You’ve handled it before, dealt with the personality to boot. Not to mention if you claim it, we can support you in controlling it. You’re the only one who can really do this. This is your body after all.”
Seth was apprehensive… no he was downright incongruous.
‘I… I can’t! That… That thing took control before, almost took away everything from me! I…’
Seth was inconsolable. He shook at the thought of having to relive that emptyness again. Like a gravity that seemed to pull him away from himself and overlap him. Speaker rose to assuage him.
“This is only one solution…! We have not been through the full process of decision making. If you do not feel like you are capable, then… we can find other means. Please… just rest. We can take it from here.”
Seth accepted the opportunity and released his inward focus, letting the Garkah return to just the background. He was lying in bed, not wanting to deal with the world. But he knew in the back of his mind… he knew what he was going to have to do eventually.
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