《America's Knight》Saved by the grace of Fried Chicken!
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The last couple of weeks passed by without much cause for concern but as I have been busy I haven’t had a chance to write in my journal.
The King had seemed very enthused when I finally explained that accounting helps prevent those mysterious losses to the treasury. He said he would consider my laws as soon as he saw the results of this “Accounting”. Which coming from him sounded close to what “Inquisition” did I imagine. It could very well become a witch hunt for some that worked for the Treasury.
He would probably end up with 25-50% more tax “revenue” when the obvious corruption ceased happening if not more. It depended on how bad the corruption was. It would probably be more as there was little to nothing except fear of getting caught to stop a tax collector from pocketing it now.
The stadium and teams are coming along nicely. I narrowed the teams down to 40 each and we had our draft of the players. Sir Adrian won the QB spot opposite me but I gave Hugo the backup position and he subs for both of us. I got Goodwin, one of the monkey twins, and Flash on my team.
The stadium and football were already creating a buzz throughout Europe. I had high rollers coming from all over. All the luxury seats were already spoken for. The peasants would take all the rest so I had no idea how many would end up coming.
I ended up realizing a couple of days ago that this project would pay for itself in the first game if I could sell it out and if Rump Roast would sell out its concessions. Labor and wood are cheap as hell in the 12th. Iron was the only real big expense.
I had already started sponsorship deals with some of the local merchants and of course my own A&B Construction. It’s label would be on a huge banner on the side of the bleachers facing London. The A&B logo was already becoming iconic in London as I had put it everywhere. The sponsorships ended up paying for all the pads, leather helmets, and cleats (which was fun explaining to the shoemaker).
Bolt had become a damn good construction Boss. Him handling management allowed me to stay where I was needed most on the football field and with the engineers. Lego was now head of the housing division.
I had found him better on the small scale. In other words he didn’t like heights. Good trainer of men though. He could train a man in the new techniques in half the time that I could, even with a French accent.
I had given up on the Still. At least I did, Lily came up with something in no time and now we have one that makes roughly 5 gallon a day and wastes hardly any.
I charged out the butt for the stuff and made it be known that only the manliest of men could handle it and you were a real dainty lad if you couldn’t. All the girls at the inn were to be much more attentive to any men who drank it to make them think it attracted the ladies.
They would anyway as they made 20% of what I did on the ridiculously overpriced stuff. Needless to say I haven’t been able to keep the stuff in stock. Basically I was turning into a 50’s-60’s cigarette advertising guru.
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My plans were to expand and turn it into a brand. I even had plans for a billboard on the side of the Stadium. It would have the slogan that could best be translated as “Drink Rump Roast Shine and get all the ladies” under a painting of a man with a shot glass in each hand and a good looking woman under each arm. The problem is finding a good enough artist to paint it on the scale I intended.
Speaking of the devils sauce, I had a visit about the Inn from Father Clarence.
“My son I do not like this din of sin you have created.”
“It is not a din of sin Father. You know me. I’m the man who rebuilt your roof because I wanted to not because I needed to or was even asked to. I’m not even a member of your Church, Father. Would someone like that create a business of sin?” He shook his head no.
“All the customers and ladies know there is to be no touching or inappropriate behavior. If either breaks the rules they are thrown out. The only way this place is a din of sin is if good food is a sin and I guess it is if you eat too much of it.” That got a lame chuckle.
He tried some fried chicken and that seemed to make him realize why people come there. It's not just the scenery or to cop a feel. I also gave him a shot of shine which made him pucker up. I don’t think it’s the last I’ll hear about it from the Church but Father Clarence was now regularly seen ordering takeout there. He ate free as I wouldn’t accept his money.
That was another thing I started at the Inn a short drive thru. You could knock on a window (wood shutter really) in the kitchen and pick it up in 15 minutes or so when it was done. No fast food here, just convenience and it let people like Father that didn’t want to be seen in a place like Rump Roast still get our addictive food.
The school was doing well. Gilbert was now in the accounting program. I was not impressed with his engineering ability and he will do better there.
Cristina was already head of accounting for my whole business empire. She is turning into an excellent accountant. I hardly ever have to correct her anymore. Eventually I would have her take over teaching as well. Right now I was teaching a few classes a week and she was essentially a teaching assistant helping the other students on the off days.
Speaking of the school I started out letting any of my employees take it for free. I planned on opening it up to their kids next and then to anyone. It was going to be a real drain on my resources but it would all pay for itself in the end. Plus it's like an employee benefits package for the time being.
Goodwin had taken to both the Bouncer and Line job with the same intensity as football. I told him if he failed in either he would not get to eat the next day. I had given him a decent salary and he could have just bought his own but he knew I would catch him at the Inn and he loved the food there.
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Everyone did, even the King. He would have a servant to get some for him almost every day. He never paid of course but I took that as a backhanded compliment.
Speaking of food I got the Rabbitry up and have caught 10 rabbits to date. I started breeding them the other day so we should have plenty of fried rabbit before long. I had shown Goodwin how to make a snare trap and where to set it.
There was already demand for as much as I could breed/catch. Fried rabbit and rabbit stew is damn good eatin’ and the Agers didn’t have anything near ours. I set it up next to the Inn so they can be slaughtered as needed to avoid waste.
Lawrence has been a godsend. I rely heavily on him and he is now the highest paid member of my empire. I now know most of his strengths and weaknesses. You need someone or something found however and he is your man.
Most of my Employees he had found and few disappointed. At least not much as you can’t expect them to know how to read, or write, or do math, or think logically, or bathe frequently but they made up for it with willingness to learn. As long as I was willing to pay.
He still couldn’t find a sulfur or fireworks source but I wasn’t surprised at that. Volcano’s in this area are scarce and as I said before I don’t think Europeans even had direct contact with China until Marco Polo’s days. That wouldn’t happen for another century. I doubt even merchants would have traded with people who have traded directly with them yet.
However what I had originally mistaken for intelligence in Lawrence was in fact a hellish resourcefulness. He will follow orders to the letter if he understands them but to put it bluntly he was dumb as a sack of hammers. I had tried to teach him how to read, write, add, subtract, and even tried some philosophy. Crickets were chirping I swear.
I was already training a personal assistant to take and write memos and the like because of how worthless he was as one. Agatha actually, she ended up being pretty good at penmanship and she was what the 21st business world would call Eye Candy. If you’re going to have somebody with you all the time she might as well impress the natives.
I treated her as an employee now and my “don’t eat where you shit” philosophy was in effect. I was a firm believer in that after working with Rebecca at her company after we got married. Beside sleeping with employees can never end well.
Agatha on the other hand was none too thrilled about the new rule.
On another note, every shindig the King threw it seemed he forced me to come to. Not literally but it’s the King he could ask nicely and it is still forcing. What are you going to do, say no?
I have performed the Soulja Boy dance to the point I was as good as he was at it or at least I told myself that. The King hinted that I should consider it repayment for granting me use of his hunting preserve. I figured he had me there.
It is the dance sensation sweeping the medieval nation. Its funny as hell to see a bunch of rich white guys trying to do a superman. Or for the women in ridiculous dresses to yell out “hoe” without having the foggiest idea what it meant.
Funny thing though he never asked to see my Salsa again.
I got invited to these basically to be free entertainment but it did let me hobnob with the rich and powerful so it wasn’t all bad.
Speaking of shindigs and their necessary accouterments, I had started to build a phonograph. The King hadn’t mentioned it again so I figured I needed to make one ASAP. The hardest thing to make was actually the records themselves. What the hell do you make them with when you have no plastic? I was trying Clay but the first run of would sounded like crap.
At some point I also had seemed to become the unofficial story teller of the Kings court as well. Like I didn’t have enough on my plate. I had always been a decent story teller from all the camping I did growing up. Nothing to do camping at night but sit around the fire and tell stories.
Here though I was a regular Steven Spielberg (literally). None of those stories from thousands of movies I had watched over the years had been told here. Who knew all those wasted hours in front of a tube would come in handy? And mom said it never helped anyone amount to anything.
Ager stories I found to be dark, always about killing or something similar. Stories from the 21st usually were upbeat or at least had happy endings. I had started to realize the fundamental difference between Agers and Myself (other than a thousand years of more advanced knowledge). I had hope.
I hadn’t come from a world that stomped on you with the heel of its boots until you stopped squirming. Even with Nobles you could see it. Sure those at the very top are always high on the hog no matter how lousy the system of governance is but even they sometimes seemed defeated.
In this time period even the King of England was a drop in the bucket to the Church. If they (or more like the Pope) wanted this Country under its heel it would have it. It could bring millions to bear on you if you pissed them off enough.
Not to mention you were one bad fall from a horse or bad case of dysentery or fever from death no matter how powerful. Even the entertainment sucked.
“If I have to, I'll drag this medieval cesspool up kicking and screaming if I have to, but first Supper” I said out loud and went out in search of it.
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