We got the Twinkie and went to Sarah's house.

"He's got the truck." Pope whispered as we walked by their large wall. "Shhh stay low." John B whispered.

We all looked over the wall as Rafe pulled the truck into their driveway.

"How much you wanna bet Rafe has the cross inside that truck right now?" Pope asked as Rafe got out and went into their house. "There's only one way to find out." Sarah said and started walking towards the gate.

John B ran over to her and whispered something but we couldn't hear them. Sarah yelled "Us", which made us three look at each other questionably.

They kissed, which surprised us even more.

Sarah grabbed something out of John B's hand and then looked back at me with a questioning look. Somehow she knows me so well even though she hasn't known me long enough.

Hell yeah I was going with her, when do I not? I started walking towards her, and John B tried to grab my arm as I did but I just jumped out of the way, jokingly whispering "too slow".

Sarah and I walked up to the truck, looking through the window. The keys weren't in the ignition. "We need the keys." I whispered to her.

She nodded and looked back to the boys, shrugging. "We need the keys." I whispered to them. They all made hand motions saying come back.

"I'll go inside." I told Sarah, not knowing how she'd react if she saw her family. "Yeah, no, I'm coming with you." She said. "That's not a very good idea." I told Sarah. "Neither is you going in alone." She defended. We both had a small staring contest before giving up.

"We're going in!" Sarah whispered to them. They all yelled no but we went in anyway. JB did some weird ass bird call, which just made us look at them with a weird face as we walked inside.

We'd be fine. Fine.

"I need to go see Wheez." Sarah whispered to me. "Go." I told her, knowing she wouldn't give up. She looked at me with a confused face when I didn't follow. "I'll go get the keys." I told her.

She knew I wasn't going to give it up either so just left.

Obviously I knew where Rafe's room was, I used to date him. Sneaking up as best as I could, I waited in the hallway just to hear him in the shower.

I walked in, trying not to let the door squeak, and saw the keys on the nightstand.

Just as I started walking towards them, the shower stopped. "Shit." I whispered to myself. I looked around but there was no where to hide.

"Fuck." I said again, drawing out the u.

I decided to grab the keys and try to run, but couldn't even get out of the door before Rafe came out of the bathroom. I dropped the keys in the hallway in the quietest way I could.

God I hated him. I hated how I was still attracted to him because my lord he was fine. I hate that I'm still attracted to him when I have JJ and I hate that he has done everything bad to me that he possible could yet there's still hope in me he'll become a better person.

He just had a towel around his waist, but at least it wasn't nothing. He just stared at me for a second and I don't think he could process it either.

The silence was nearly excruciating because both of us didn't even know what to say. My brain was trying to come up with an excuse and fast.

"What are you doing here." He said. It wasn't a question more rather an angry statement. Well I couldn't tell if it was angry or not.

"I-" I stuttered for a second then wanted to punch myself for it. "I just wanted to come see you." I said. Then I wanted to punch myself more.

I think Rafe's confused face looked exactly like mine.

"You want to come to see me?" He asked, emphasizing want and stepping closer. I nodded, slightly scared at the moment.

I decided fuck it and to play into it. The man is a narcissist it shouldn't be that hard.

"Yes I wanted to. Lately I've realized we ended off wrong. I never wanted to end it with you." I lied. Rafe looked like he was playing into it.

He thought for a moment. "Prove it." He said. His eyes looked slightly deranged which scared me, but even though I hate to admit it to myself, I still saw a little good beneath it.

My brain wasn't working at a proper speed, per say, so I just walked up to him, grabbed him by the face, and kissed him as passionately as I could without cringing.

Thank God he fell for it.

Very quickly it became heated, as I expected. Rafe was never a patient type. He had me up against a wall, pinning me by my waist.

Never have I ever hated a moment so much but at the same time didn't as I did right now. It wasn't that I wanted to be with Rafe — I would never trade JJ for the world — but I still felt something for him, he was my first real boyfriend and something like that always stays.

There's nothing that I could really do to stop it at this point, so I just let it happen. I felt guilty as it was happening, but knew there was no better way to get out of this because he would have killed me if I told the truth.

Everything was so emotional that I didn't even realize what was happening after a while. When I snapped back to it, we were both laying in the bed but it was still nighttime.

For a second, I wanted to hurl because of the guilt. Then it didn't go away, so I got up, pulled on my shirt as quick as I could, and ran (more like a fast walk) to the bathroom.

It all came up quickly, even though I haven't eaten anything for a few hours.

I think that's what woke Rafe up. See this is why I stayed with him for as long as I did. While he was a psychopath slowly loosing his mind, there was something inside of him that cared.

He was by my side almost immediately, holding up my hair and slightly rubbing my back.

It made me want to continue puking but also was kind of nice.

"I'm okay." I told him. He definitely wasn't believing that but didn't retaliate. He just handed me a towel and let me get up on my own.

He walked out of the room which made me confused, but I somewhat cleaned myself up and put back on all of my clothes.

When he came back in, he had a cup of tea in his hand.

"Rose made some, I just found it. I don't know what it is but figured it should help." Rafe told me.

Wow that's reassuring. I gave a small thanks and took the cup, only taking a small sip. It was pretty good, even though I hate to admit it.

I only drank a little bit before I felt dizzy.

Of course. It's Rafe. Of course something goes fucking wrong.

"Rafe what is this." I asked, but the cup was slowly falling out of my hand and my words were slightly slurred.

"Just to help you sleep," Rafe took my cup from me and gently laid my head back. I wanted to cry or scream but couldn't. I was too out of it.

Everything went black.