I remember the night we kissed.

It was fleeting and quick.

I was nervous as hell, my palms sweaty, my knees unsteady.

It was all I could think about doing.

I should have done it slower.

Asked you if it was okay.

I knew I was selfish, taking the kiss from your lips my way.

I should have done better. I'm sorry.

You deserved better. Someone better.

I hurt you.

I broke you.

I ruined you.

I'm sorry.

My apologies are weak.

Going unsaid too long to mean anything now.

I'm sorry. I can't stop it now.

I understand now that I'm being punished.

For being cruel, selfish, and a cold-hearted bitch.

I was scared. I realize now.

Not of you, the world, or even my feelings for you.

No, I was fucking scared of my parents.

How pathetic. Scared to be my own person.

Not excuses, of course.

I admit to my asshole behavior. Hurting you to avoid my own pain.

After her, I know I used you so selfishly.

But that kiss. Our kiss....

I'm sorry.

I wish I could have been better to you.

My words are nothing but hollow letters on this page I'm sure.

Reminding you of the hurt I caused.

I'm sorry.