If Jacob did have something to tell me, he would tell me anyway. Jacob told me his secret with Izza, and I practically told him it didn't bother me one bit.

But if Jacob has been hiding another secret, like whoever killed Izza, then I don't know what he's expecting from me. I don't think Jacob knows that I know about his private conversation with shawtystar5.

I wanted to ask Jacob about shawtystar5, and I wondered if it's either a man or a woman.

It is hard to say, and I don't know how to ask Jacob about his private conversations with shawtystar5.

I had a bad feeling about Jacob keeping another secret from me, and I was even more furious about this secret of his. I couldn't help myself from thinking that Jacob may possibly know who his actual accuser is, and I think Jacob was afraid of telling me about it.

But what if?

What if Jacob ruins the whole trial by lying to the court or to the jury. I don't know how to explain to Jacob about him lying to the jury or to the court without knowing what his actual intentions were, that he could get himself into more serious trouble than he is right now.

I kind of felt like I was being left out, and I didn't know if I could get away from Jacob's hidden secret. I cleared my throat, swallowing my own saliva down my throat.

I took the tip of my finger, scratching the side of my forehead, and I just kept asking myself to figure out how to ask Jacob about his conversation with shawtystar5.

"So, can you explain to me who shawtystar5 is?" I asked, sighing, turning towards Jacob.

Jacob shrugged, "Oh, he's just some guy who I "thought," I was friends with on Twitter," Jacob said.

"Then why's he telling you he knows who killed Izza?" I asked.

"Ryan, I have had so many people tell me the same thing, and I knew they were lying about it. I have had different usernames tell me the same thing over and over, until I asked them if they were lying, and they told me they were," Jacob said, while I was cutting a slice of cheese on the cutting board, and took a bite of it using my hand.

"Are you lying to me?" I asked, wondering, furiously.

"What?" Jacob asked.

I scoffed, cutting another slice of cheese off with my chef knife, and I took a deep breath, and sighed. I told Jacob to forget what I had said, and I marched my way back to the refrigerator and put away the cheese after inserting it into a ziplock bag.

After I returned to the kitchen counter, I realized I was in the middle of something serious. I felt like I was being played by Jacob. I wasn't too confident about it. Until a moment later, Mrs. Heather had come to my house and I saw her walk in and heard her say hello, before Mrs. Heather marched into the kitchen.

Mrs. Heather was all energized and happy about coming into work, and Heather smiled at Jacob, before Jacob asked Mrs. Heather how she was doing. I swallowed, as I was still thinking.

"So, what are you guys doing now?" Heather asked, setting down her Christian Dior purse onto the counter of my kitchen.

Jacob said, "Oh, nothing much, we were just talking about how exciting it was to watch the midnight New Year's Eve parade on television, and I personally thought it was really exciting to see it," Jacob said, chuckling, and smiling at Heather.

I was just standing there behind the counter and I was watching Jacob how he changed the subject of our conversation and I scoffed.

I nodded my head and I cleared my throat, scratching the side of my forehead once again and I understood Jacob.

I just looked at Jacob like I wasn't playing with him about the whole thing about Jacob's private conversation with shawtystar5. Jacob probably knows what I am talking about.

But Jacob acts like he knows what I mean by asking him about shawtystar5. But Jacob did tell me it was probably some random guy who was just messing with him. I didn't believe it, until eventually I did.

Jacob was sitting at his desk in his room, working on his annual science project.

I decided to walk into his bedroom, and I crossed my arms, asking Jacob if he even understood me about the fact I had explained to him about the upcoming trial.

Jacob needs to be prepared for the trial and if he's not, things could get complicated for Jacob and me.

"I know, and I know what I am going to say or have to say in court, I have to be honest, and I will be honest," Jacob said, turning towards me while sitting in his chair.

I understood, nodding my head, "I need you to be honest, and you have to be honest, even if I'm not acting like a lawyer or anything else," I said to Jacob. Jacob shook his head, understanding what I said.

I took a deep breath and sighed, and I wanted to ask Jacob once again about shawtystar5.

But Jacob did tell me shawtystar5 was just a random dude who was trying to mess with Jacob. Jacob told me not to worry about it.

After I turned around and I left Jacob's bedroom, I shut the door, and I stood in front of the door having a flashback of my parents car crash, and I remember when I was at my parents funeral, there was a young woman who I pictured almost looking like Mrs. Heather.

I remember standing by my mom and dad's coffins, and the woman approached me as I was crying, and saying a goodbye speech to my mother and my father.

The woman laid her hand on top of my shoulder, and I looked at her, sniffing my nose as I was still crying. Jacob was holding my hand next to me, and the flashback had ended.

I sighed.

I was doing better about not blaming myself for everything that happens to people. I needed to understand I'm not responsible for everyone's problems. I am only responsible for myself, and to take good care of myself.

I was slowly improving my mental state and I am now able to focus on what's important to me and my mental health. I try to focus on the positive aspects of myself and my life.

Learning how to accept myself was super important to me, and I was so proud of myself for how much I learned of myself and my mental health.

It hasn't been easy for me or for my brother. Jacob's mental health was beginning to decline as well, and I tried to give Jacob the best advice I could give. Jacob even gives himself some advice; and I do the same thing for myself.