Isaak was blindfolded and led out of the elven tree house. He could hear snippets of dark chatter as he stumbled blindly after the Crimson Sage. He still did not know her name, but her small hand was soft and hot to the touch.

He could not remember the last time he had held hands with a girl, and so he was uncomfortably aware of the sweat that poured off of his palms. It did not help that the Crimson Sage had said that she would be the father of his children.

"Y-you can let, let g-g-go," the Crimson Sage said after a short while.

"Shorry," Isaak said, instinctively, as he pulled his hand away from the Crimson Sage. His lips and face were still felt swollen.

"Could you... you b-bend over?" the Crimson Sage asked, and Isaak recoiled. He thought she was going to be the father of his children! "The, the bli-blindfold..."

"Sh-shound good," Isaak said, and he could feel his cheeks redden with embarrassment. "Shorry."

Her hands brushed against his ears as he leaned forward. He felt like an absolute virgin over how excited her touch made him.

A few lances of light assaulted his eyes as the blindfold fell away from his face. Isaak blinked away his blindness, and found that they were surrounded by the same verdant forest as before.

He turned around with a start, however, because the elven tree houses where nowhere to be seen. They had scarcely walked for five minutes and for their entire town had disappeared. He could hear distant animal sounds, not no bodacious elves.

"A-an, an enchant... chantment..." the Crimson Sage said, and he turned back to her in confusion. "Y-you will not, not be a-able to s-see the, the commune."

"I shee..." Isaak said, not at all surprised the elves called their home a hippie-dippie commune. "Sho... what now?"

Outside of the dimly lit elven tree house, he noticed how pale the Crimson Sage was. Her bloodless skin seemed almost white and was without blemish. She had a pronounced hunch, which was probably because she kept her eyes mostly on her feet. Every so often she would look up at Isaak, revealing full cheeks like that of a squirrel and a lazed half-moon stare.

"W-we will, will go to th-the Darkwoo-woods," the Crimson Sage said in her perpetual stutter. "But, but fi-first..."

The Crimson Sage wore a cloak of deepest crimson inlaid with flowers around the clasp of her hood. She clutched an enormous staff woven with vines in her delicate hands. An enormous ruby perched at the top of the staff.

"✡︎□︎📪︎ 👌︎♓︎♑︎ 💣︎□︎❍︎❍︎♋︎," the Crimson Sage said, her words suddenly resolute and clear. Never mind that the words sounded like utter gibberish. "☝︎♏︎⧫︎ ❒︎♓︎♎︎ ⧫︎♒︎♓︎⬧︎ ♒︎♏︎❒︎♏︎ ♌︎♋︎♎︎ ❖︎♓︎♌︎♏︎."

"Oy!" Isaak exclaimed as vines appeared at his feet.

The green rope wrapped around his legs and started to slowly crawl up and entomb his body. He tried to tear the vines away, but his hands passed right through them as if they were a hologram.

Less than ten seconds passed and the phantom vines blocked out the sun and covered his face. He started to panic, but with a sudden poof the vines vanished in a shower of silver dust. He looked over his arms and legs and could find no trace of their sudden assault.

"T-that, that shou-should help," the Crimson Sage said, her eyes darting up and down Isaak's body.

"What did you do?" he asked, but then he felt his face and realized his swollen cheeks and eyes had healed.

All of his aches had disappeared with the flash of silver.

"I... I've be, been meaning t-to ask, but..." the Crimson Sage began. She pointed at Isaak with a trembling hand, a confused pout on her lips. "Wh-what is, is th... that?"

Isaak followed her trembling hand to his underwear.

It was pathetic, but holding her soft hand had excited him. It was pathetic, but when her hand had brushed his ear, it had excited him. And since Isaak was still in his underwear, his excitement was on full display.

He covered his Roaring Dragon with both hands as his face flushed red with still more embarrassment.

"I-I've ne-never cast, cast a sp-spell on a, a human b-before," the Crimson Sage said. Her face betrayed not the slightest hint of embarrassment. "A-are you, you st-still in, in pain?"

"I'm quiet well," Isaak said. His voice was a pitch or two higher than normal. A few thoughts entered his head, and he licked his lips. "I do... have a question. I didn't see... a lot of men... back there."

"W-we h-have no, no m-men in our, our village," the Crimson Sage said with a slow shake of her head. "B-but, but p-please! A-are you still un-unwell? It look, looks... s-swollen."

"It is definitely a little swollen," Isaak said. "But I am fine. No men, huh. That... that explains it."

The Crimson Sage tilted her head in confusion. Isaak wanted to find the Goddess and throttle her. The least she could have done was offer him a pair of pants. Knowing his luck, however, the Goddess had given all of her pants to that other guy.

"You know what?" Isaak said as the Crimson Sage's innocent stare became too much. "W-we should head out. To the Spooky Woods!"

After a short while, Isaak's Love Whistle deflated, and he could stand to look at the Crimson Sage. They had scarcely spoken a word since she had healed him.

"So..." Isaak said. The Crimson Sage jumped slightly as he spoke. "What's your name?"

He had no idea who she was. He knew enough English and enough about isekai to know that she was some kind of wizard. She had made a prophecy of sorts about Isaak's children. And while he was not allowed to see her face too often with how she constantly stared at her feet, it seemed like a trickle of blood was tattooed under her eyes.

She had all the makings of an interesting character. The more Isaak thought on it, her father was probably some sort of demon. Or the demon lord. She had been left in the care of the elves and their hidden village, but would one day set out with the brave hero to do battle with her evil father!

Or at least that seemed like the kind of obvious isekai twist you would see in some trashy isekai story.

"What was that?" Isaak said as he returned to reality. He had completely missed what she had said.

She looked over her shoulder and shook her head.

"I a-am the, the Cri-crimson S-sage," she said. "I have, have no o-other title."

"Oh," Isaak said with a frown. "Yeah, that doesn't work for me. What about Crim?"

"Eh?"

"T-the Crimson Sage. That's too long," Isaak said, awkwardly. "What about Crim? Can I call you Crim?"

The Crimson Sage came to an abrupt stop, and Isaak worried he might have offended her. But at the same time, to not have a name was too lazy even for isekai.

"C-crim is, is f-fine then..." the Crimson Sage said. She peered up from her feet and stared intently at Isaak. "You... you a-are, are very d-different than the, the o-other one..."

"The other one? Oohh, the other one." Isaak nodded with a bright smile. "That guy is a piece of shit. Haven't met him, but I can tell you he is a real scumbag."

Crim looked away, her face distressed.

"I-I w-worry then..." she said. "F-for Sis-sister Lotus..."

Isaak bit his lip as Crim continued her slow plod forward.

"This... trial," Isaak began. He had not meant to upset her and wanted to change the subject. "What is it?"

"D-deep with, within the G-glade lie the, the hallowed D-darkwoods," Crim said. "Within the, the Darkwoods is t-the C-cave of, of Beginnings."

Isaak was amazed at the uninspired names this culture of elves had for their homeland. Did they have the creativity of illiterate kindergartners? Had their large breasts stolen all the nutrients that would have otherwise developed proper brain functions?

"...and th-there, the Goddess dw-dwells," Crim continued. Isaak realized he had missed some of her explanation. "H-her ech-echo..."

"I see," Isaak said. He did not have the heart to ask Crim to repeat herself. And he did not care all that much.

He was not even sure that he could pass this trial. The Goddess had not offered him a boon, after all.

They walked on in silence. The path was much easier than Isaak's earlier trek. The earth was level and the tall solider pines that flanked the way did not claw at them as they passed. The elves had not stripped him of his new shoes either, so he walked with little discomfort.

The brilliant sun was still high in the sky when a distant figure caught Isaak's attention. Even though Crim led the way, she spent most of her time staring at her feet. He was the first to see her.

"Is that..." Isaak strained his eyes as a human form walked towards them. Energy filled his arms and legs at the thought of meeting the other guy.

"W-what?" Crim asked, and she looked up from her tired trod.

She came to abrupt stop. Isaak nearly crashed into her.

The distant figure had not noticed them yet. Their skin was an Arabian brown, their hair a cascade of black that reached down to their heels. Even in the distance, Isaak could make out the pointed tips of their elongated ears.

"Of course this world has dark elves," Isaak muttered to himself. His eyes remained entranced by the sway of the dark elf's massive melons.

He stumbled back in surprise, however, as Crim filled the forest with a horrible wail. The noise was laden with such a crushing despair that Isaak instinctively clutched his chest.

"Sister Lotus!" Crim shouted, her outstretched hand trembling. "What has happened to you?!"