The two continued the argument, other campers attempting to keep them under control and tame.

"David, what were you thinking?!" Max scowled.

"I don't know! I thought reuniting long-lost family members was a thoughtful and sweet idea!" David answered.

"I mean, didn't you do any background checks? Ask her any questions?"

Gwen jumped up, "Oh! We should totally do a background check on these freaks! They've probably got loads if illegitimate children!" She said before running off.

"Okay, maybe I should've done a little more research beforehand. But now, we have a chance to give Quartermaster an even better gift! An end to this silly family feud!" David grinned.

"I dunno, David... I think there are just some things you keep in the family. Take it from me. My parents HATE each other, and you don't see these two trying to fix it." Niel commented. I nodded,

"David, I agree with Niel, we should just let them fix it," I added.

"Yeah, I ain't touchin' that garbage fire." Nikki jumped in.

"Well, I happen to believe that love conquers all! And there's no greater love than the unconditional love of family!" David smiled, putting his hand together.

"How are they even related again?" Max asked.

"Cousins fucked."

"Oh dear," David said before getting up and leaving. I stood up as well,

"You guys go find a present for QM." I said, "and actually make it thoughtful." I finished before following David.

"Alright, kids! You go find some nice gifts for your quartermaster!" David said before grabbing QM and QS, "I'm gonna take these two inside! Y'know, away, from your... Vulnerable ears." David said as he started moving the two away.

"Ugh. What are we even supposed to get that weirdo?" Ered asked

I tilted my head slightly in thought, "We could get him a new hat, his current one seems a bit torn." I commented. Although, my suggestion was utterly ignored.

"What about this meteorite?" Space kid asked.

"Space kid, that's clearly a rock," Niel said.

"It's perfect!" Nikki smiled, snatching the rock from Space kid, "He'll love it! I love it!" She then held it close, "You gotta get him something else." It was Nurf's turn to groan,

"This is gonna take forever!"

"Not if we cut some corners... Let's break into the Quartermaster's store! We can see what kinda weird shit he already has, so we can figure out what kind of weird shit he wants!" Max brainstormed.

"But... No one's ever dared to go into the Quartermaster's store!" Preston declared.

"Oh, please. How bad could it be?" Max asked.

"I want you to remember saying that 5 minutes from now when we're scarred for life," Niel said, worry lacing his voice.

"As much as I hate the idea of you guys breaking into Quartermaster's secret stuff... I won't stop you. Just don't kill yourselves, alright?" I asked. Max shrugged,

"We can try." He answered. I just sighed slightly before walking away to the counselor's Cabin.

I snuck in and moved to the chair that David currently sat in. After realizing there was no place to sit, I just decided to stand behind David's chair.

"That's disgusting, I secretly love it, you both should be ashamed of yourselves," Gwen said.

"They named on after me!" QS said with a proud smile. I leaned down,

"What are they talking about?" I questioned. David mumbled something but I didn't hear it so I just said 'okay'

"Pfft. One." QM grumbled. David leaned forward slightly,

"Uh. Well. Congratulations..." He said, his face full of concern.

"I don't care what you tell me about him. I ain't gonna talk to this bastard man!"

"Good! Cause I ain't gonna talk to you neither!"

"Ya just did!"

"God-durnit. She just got me again. Boy! Tell her I ain't gonna be doin' no talking with her none more." QM demanded. David awkwardly turning to QS,

"Um, he says that he doesn't wish to speak with you any-"

"Say it how I said it!"

"Uh, he says "He ain't gonna do not more talkin'!"- I- ja- uh- I just can't. It's too mean and grammatically incorrect."

"Don't you insult my kin's grandma! Why he's the poet of the family." QS took a long dreamy sigh, "His words always did make my seat wet!"

I gulped slightly and gave a nervous smile,

"O-oh well- that's- um-" I stuttered to find the right words.

"Okay, next test, please!" David said desperately. Gwen looked down at her clipboard,

"Right, right, right." She scanned the papers before sighing, "Quartersister? You... Are not the father! Because apparently, you're a woman? Which - full disclosure - is something I find more surprising than anything on these tests." Gwen said, tapping the board in her hand.

"'Course she is!" QM jumped in. "You telling me you've seen a beauty finer than her before?"

QS snorted in reply.

"Hell. If it weren't for the goddamn tontine, I probably would've gotten down on one knee ages ago."

"What's a tontine?" I and David asked in unison.

"You don't mean that." QS teased. QM looked at her with sparkling eyes,

"With all my heart and soul."

There was a pause before the two hungrily jumped at each other.

"Oh my God! I can't believe they went there!" Gwen paused, her face going to disgust, "Oh my God. I can't believe they went there..."

I dropped down to the floor behind the chair, "Why did QM instantly become the bottom?" I questioned, covering my ears.

"And they're still going," David muttered, looking away.

"I-I can't," I said, demanding mercy for my eyes as I crawled out of the cabin.

//

David soon ran out, grabbing my hand and tugging me to the mess hall, "Max! Max!"

"You're seeking Max for help?!"

"Max! I think we have a problem!" David said, panic purely lacing his voice.

"What, the fire?" Max asked.

"No, the- wait, what fire?" David asked.

"Oh, forget it. This sounds more interesting!" Max said with a smile.

"Oh, it's horrible! We've gone too far!" David yelled. "It's-"

He was cut off by the two family members making out past them. I hugged myself and hid behind David.

"That?" Max asked. David then hugged himself as well,

"Yeah. That."

(1045)

(Wed, Jan 23rd)

David (CC) or David (RVB)?

(I started to really like Agent Washington from RVB and then he admitted that his name was David and I'm starting to think Rooster Teeth is giving me a David fetish or some shit)