On the walk back to the mansion they were staying in, Ode was quiet in thought until they were almost there. Her silence was painful. When she finally spoke it was with a loud sigh, “Are we not going to talk about all of that? Yes, yes, Alister has weird secrets. But honestly, I’m more shocked that Wisteria could do THAT, and that the eldritch was there. I hardly care about some stupid dagger!”

Alister let out a laugh, relieved, “I was just as surprised as you! I’m happy someone has sense!”

“Don’t get me wrong you aren’t getting out of this explanation thing,” she said, shaking her head, “So… Wisteria is a saintess. That much is known. Her gem hair and eyes, the fact she was hiding all that… I swear you two have more secrets than Jacob or I ever did at your age. But to be such a saintess that she can do that… to channel a deity… Hah. I can only imagine how that must feel. And it’s clearly hard on her. She must’ve been so scared to resort to it. And then that eldritch… cloth woman? Why was she focused on you two? She was strong. The thing she summoned didn’t need that much of a response, but her… I don’t know. I just have a bad idea about this. Like this was only the first of multiple trials from her.”

“Oh don’t say that! Damn it…,” Alister groaned, “You’re probably right… fuck. If an eldritch lord is like any other type of lord then that means that her boss is really bad news too. I wonder if it’s connected…”

“Connected? Oh. To the one that you and Wisteria fought before? Maybe,” Jacob piped up, “You’re in a high position so you could’ve gotten a lot of attention from different sources. Even eldritch or the gods it seems.”

“Well next time I see her I’ll be sure to think to ask,” Alister rolled his eyes, smiling as he looked at Wisteria. He was happy they had all gotten out alright. She would be so powerful when she was older. Able to do that? She was already surprisingly powerful. It was a shame she had to flee her home nation, but at least he got to meet her because of it. He continued, “I feel like, yes, I could’ve managed without her doing such a thing, but it certainly made it easier for both of us. And more than that it made her feel better - even if it made me uncomfortable. I’d prefer my life to be harder than hers anyway.”

“You’re too sweet,” Morgan laughed, “Uncle Blas and Aunt Alliana must be good role models.”

“They are. I’m grateful for them. Even if it doesn’t feel like I’ve known them for long in the scheme of things, I don’t know what I’d do without them.”

Wisteria woke up by the time they got back to the city, thoroughly embarrassed and twice as curious. She didn’t fight being carried by Neth until they were right outside the gates, too tired to walk for herself. Inside the city, she forced herself to trudge along regardless.

“I heard what she said to you,” Wisteria said, walking slowly alongside Alister, voice hushed.

“I know. And I didn’t expect you to channel a goddess.”

“…I know. I’m sorry. I know religious stuff makes you uncomfortable. I was freaked out.”

“It’s fine. I’m sorry I’ve gone and made you feel uncomfortable with what I said and that dagger. So I suppose we’re even.”

“You… don’t like the gods… do you?”

Alister sighed, looking at her, “…Yes. I don’t trust them. I wanted to talk about this inside, Wisteria…”

“I know… but… I just… I don’t know,” she sighed, “Her feelings were so complicated and hot and quick and… I couldn’t make sense of it. I’m not that good at channeling yet. I’m still too young. Sixteen or older is best… not that there’s a manual for this sort of thing. I’m just… blessed that I can do it at all… I guess.”

“You never sound like you like it. Any of it.”

“Mm… I love it. It’s just complicated. Anyway, she knew that dagger. Godslayer. That’s the title that she was thinking of so hard. Some really old legend.”

Alister bit his lip hard enough that it creased and hurt, “Wisteria please just drop it for now. I promise I will tell you about it. You had your secrets… and I have mine. I just want to tell you in private.”

“Okay.”

Hearing that title from her lips hurt more than it had any right to. He wasn’t ashamed of his life, his past life, but Wisteria saying ‘godslayer’ made it feel like it was a slur to be hushed. He didn’t want her to hate him.

Ten minutes later and Alister was seated in front of his parents and his small group of trusted friends; Wisteria, Ode, Jacob… plus his cousin Morgan and Neth since they got dragged into it.

“I… don’t really want anyone listening in, if possible…?” He meekly began, looking up at Wisteria from his chair.

She pursed her lips, “Mmm… fine… I can manage that… but if I need to I’ll definitely tell them. Okay? Especially Advera, since she helped. But she’s gossiping about that dagger already so it’s gonna get really annoying.”

“Great…,” he grumbled, covering his face with his hands as he fought the urge to cry, “I hate this stupid tiny body so much sometimes. Dad already knows somewhat. It isn’t something I can just talk about though. I need you guys to understand that. It is dangerous.”

Alliana shifted in the sofa, putting a hand on Blas’s leg as she gave him a sideways glance, envious he was told something and she wasn’t.

“Raalin the Godslayer. Doesn’t really feel like an appropriate title, given how I died and didn’t even accomplish my goals. Archmage. Hater of gods. Slayer of gods. I killed seven or eight big deities before they took me out in that last fight. Smaller gods before then. Apostles. Saints. Whatever…,” Alister explained, staring at his hands through watery eyes, “I… I just wanted to survive and to make them pay for the pain and injustice they put me and other people like me through. Acting so much better than everyone else. Forcing people to… do things… to go through things they should never have to. My past life was about five thousand years ago, from what I’ve been able to gather. And you guys know the full recall thing. So I remember every second of it. I know what happened. And I know that bastard Iker is still around and still living the high life and… and… I’ve been trying so hard not to let that color how I act toward you, Wisteria. I… I don’t want you to hate me. I don’t want to have to run for my life again. Even if I hate gods I don’t plan on doing anything about it anytime soon if ever. I just want to learn and exist in this new world and I’ve been loving it so far. I love hanging out with you and having a family and being… allowed to be a child, even if I don’t really act my age.”

The room was silent enough that the creak of flooring in rooms down the hall was audible.

Neth looked uncomfortable, but not like the others. He didn’t care that this boy was a god killer in his last life. Being devoted to the gods wasn’t something he was raised with. He was a negal practitioner, after all.

Blas knew most of that already, so he was watching the room for reactions like Alister. Alliana was fanning herself, processing in complete silence. She was a religious woman, not zealous, but… to hear such things about her son… she wasn’t sure how she felt.

Morgan was quiet, wondering if he was joking. He clearly wasn’t joking. But not joking meant it was real. What was even happening five-thousand years ago? Was it constant fighting or something? Why would he hate how the gods were? It was just how things worked.

Wisteria was actually the first to speak up, “I don’t hate you. The gods are… people too. Some of them are really nasty people and mean and selfish, but that’s not all of them. It’s not right what you did in your past life but you died and now this is a new life. It’s not fair to hate you for something like that. I’m not happy. I’m upset and I feel lied to and I’m worried now… but it’s just… I trust you, Alister. Can we be even now? No more secrets please?”

Alister’s lip quivered as his childish emotions won out at her mature response, and he started to cry. He hiccuped and wheezed and burrowed his face in his hands. That was all he wanted to hear and more.