Sachihiro

A thing appears ahead, I dive to dodge as it glows bright uplifting an arm in attack.

[Xx], I’m suddenly stuck hooked mid-air unable to move or cast.

[KKRRAAA], I blink at the harsh volume of the crackling sound.

[VUUU].

The world upends, the ceiling falling in an instant of baffling unreality. It crashes with teeth rattling force on me but the rocks above don’t immediately crush me to paste. Unable to move the world is full and far away, muted by the unsurmountable grip that holds me.

I smell the shit of battle as I struggle with all I am to get out of the hold. Spirit Aura blazing as the buff gives me strength to endure, coalescing mana forming a water cacoon the bursts forth but accomplishes nothing.

The glowing figure floats passed me upside down, feet an inch from the fallen ceiling.

Wait, what is going on?

The figure lifts it’s arm, an upside down gnome flying forward with beard flapping about gets abruptly stuck mid-air like I am.

[KRA], the gnomes's head snaps sideways at an ugly angle with ateribble sound, focus gone from it’s eyes as it drops upward like a sack of lard.

Dread leaves my ears ringing, I can’t move because my neck is fucken' snapped!

I lose sight of the fighting, my world turned to the size of a pinprick. I’m dead, I’m already dead with a broken spine and I didn’t even realise it happening.

Like with my body I loose the connection to mana, there is no Chakra to help accelerate healing. I have no potions or aids for such injuries, even if I did they might as well not exist in my current state. I cannot move to get them.

Consciousness starts fading at the edges as I lose energy like water through a sieve. Dread, complete cold dread grips me obscuring my vision with a watery film.

Where is the honour in this? Fuck, at least I died in battle.

Warmth, glowing warmth enfolds me casting away the darkness. A golden being, an angel, beautiful in her holy countinence stands over me gazing sternly out at the distant ligth-works with disapproval.

Point at what offends you and I will smite it from existence!

Without a backward glance she lifts an arm as darkness swallows her whole.

Her overwhelming aura of purity is gone with her leaving me longing, but whole. I move circulating mana to make a water shield over my supine form.

I turn onto my side slowly, gawking where I feel her divine aura manifest again.

Light engulfs a twitching mess of flesh as she lays hands on it, chanting with words that echo in sinister whispers the twitching flesh mends, turning into a person that slowly sits up gazing at the beautiful healer with worshipful eyes.

She lifts her arm engulfed in darkness and is gone a moment later.

I get up slowly, spirit aura cleansing me of any lingering vestige of Victoria's aura.

Fuck that was close! Have I ever been that close to death? Yes actually, its been happening way too often lately.

The glowing figure that broke my neck is immobilizing attacks and people mid-air before they get anywhere near it. Killing without touching, without fanfare, sometimes without even looking at those it leaves broken in it’s wake.

A shiver runs through as i watch the dispassionate impersonal slaughter. That was so fucking close!

I crawl on all fours towards the spiritual thread in my mind. I’m so close I can almost taste it.

I pause to wipe the shit from my ass using a dead man’s robe.

I’m so close, I can feel it. It’s here, it’s here, it’s here. I reach my arm out as I scramble onwards on my knees, its here.

Something snatches, I'm pulled into a vortex.

*

Welcome to the Library of Dreams. Please choose a topic.

Power.

Please allow library to asses you for best result, or choose a path to power from those within your mind’s eye.

Primodial. Void

Elemental. Natural

Essence. Chi

Energy. Manna

Soul. Spirit

Energy. Manna

Accepted.

Please allow assessment for best results, or choose own path.

Assessment.

You have been accessed. Recommendation, please look within yourself.

Awakening. A word long lost in translation amongst my people, amongst many people throughout Pangaea. Assumed to mean the arrival of mana to push your intrinsic energy levels beyond their current upper limits.

But the bestowal of mana is not in itself Awakening, rather mana influx is what is triggered by Awakening.

Awakening, true Awakening is not external at all but rather a breakthrough from within. A waking up, a self realisation so true that worldly energies flood into your being forcing it to undergo an evolution to better sustain your now weightier presence.

In all of the universe no two things are the same. No blades of grass or grains of sand are the same, no drops of blood or particles of water. Everything is unique but everything fits together making a uni-verse.

To awaken, that is to say; the best way to increase your energy level is to realise who you are as a unique being in all the noise of the universe. To realise who you are so personally that the universe solidifies your place as unique within itself so strongly that you don’t have to justify your existence.

Rather, the universe helps maintain you in all your beautiful complications because through all it’s chaos you are an order.

You are that grain of sand, though your little parts are unique you cannot be separated from the beach. Such that even if those little parts of you were altered you would change as needed but you would never cease to be. That is the path of Awakening, to become more of exactly what you are.

Choose path? Allow assessment for best options.

Path Chosen.

Who are you?

Do you think you could enter the repository of knowledge without even knowing who you are?

Who are you? Search yourself and find out for you will never go further otherwise.

Who am I?

I am Sachihiro van Damage.

Those are just words, are you words? That is just a name, are you a name?

It is my name.

And easily you could have another, will you then be another name? Will you no longer be this ‘Sachihiro van Damage'?

What do you want from me?

I want you to know yourself, as honestly and as deeply as you can. Who are you?

I am a culmination of my experiences.

My life flashes before my minds eye, disconnected from me like I’m watching it as an outsider. I observe it, I remember it but I don’t feel it.

Suddenly it feels so small, so fleeting in a way that could never really capture the whole of who I am.

What is my life if it isn’t who I am? Who am I if I'm not the life I've live?

I am is more than the birth and death of my flesh, this much I know. I feel it deeply about myself. There is more to me than what I have lived or ever will live in human flesh. I will someday die without having had realised the wholeness of who I am because i will always be more than any life i could ever live.

Shit. The realisation hits heavily on me, liberating from the urgency to accomplish things while taunting me with my own endless potential.

Who am I?

I see the question clearly, I am who I am which is a culmination of many factors pulled together like mana before a cast.

Who am I?

This question involves what I am also. The unique thing I am as a whole from the smallest part of me to the largest. But even that is just a part of the answer but its easier to break who I am down.

So what am I?

What I am speaks to how I experience the universe, which greatly dictates my place in it. But my experiences and what I am don’t define the whole of who I am, not even close in fact.

As much as I am a human being I am much more than that, even amongst us human beings there is a lot of variation. Every human is a unique existence, yes I feel it to be true. Being human is vital to who I am but it is the smallest most superficial part of who I am.

My name; yes, my name and how I wear it speaks of who I am. There is power in words and just by walking around being called by that name I am synonymising that jumble of words with my existence. Names can either influence you or you could influence them, make them what they become or be shaped by them.

Yes, there is power in my name but it’s a small reflection of who I am also. Ultimately an idea of me that, maybe, could last long even after my physical death.

But it’s not me.

The body I don’t even have to entertain. I am not my body, this I have known since before my first Awakening. As deeply as my body is part of who I am, I am not my body, I am deeper.

Maybe that’s why dimensional awareness came to me. I know I’m not just confined to this treasured flesh. And as much as I love my life through this body, dimensional awareness comes naturally to me. It comes naturally to be able to see and feel with more than just bodily stimulating senses.

So who am I?

I am all these things, I am me.

Yes, I am who I am. Set. But I am still being. Human being, a thing of human physical existence and being. A part inside me growing, changing, watching, experiencing, becoming. Being.

But what am I being?

Ah… I choose that. I am me but I am also making myself while the world around me also has a hand in making me. I am, but also I choose the being I'm becoming.

That’s what I look forward to, and decide, and be.

Evaluation complete. Accept?

Accepted.

Decide next evolution direction.

If the choice is mine then I am being a god. I am being my own existence, unaccountable to anyone or anything, autonomous. Complete. A complete perfect entity, perfection in motion.

I am perfect even as I am currently. No other could ever be me and fit as perfectly into my place in existence as I do. But I am growing towards greater perfection.

Perfection, a thing that does not exist outside of me, yet all things are perfect. I am a maker making myself towards completion.

Yes, by virtue of making myself I am a god unto myself. A god being, for I am not complete in my realised divinity. I am still being.

So what does death mean for me if I am a god?

Nothing.

Death will be the doorway through which I transcend my current existence. Perfection in motion.

I am complete but getting better in my uniqueness. Perfection in motion.

I sink into the realisations. Other questions and peripheral ideas being answered automatically as I realise within myself who I am.

There is a difference between who I am and what I experience. Who I am is internal, what I experience is external.

There are internal and external experiences.

No, I am not my experiences but what I experience largely dictates what comes out of me. It influences what of me the universe experiences. What parts of myself I consciously experience, what parts of me the world sees.

Mmmm..., my growth is limited by my experiences.

I am reactive, that is not most ideal. I need to convey who I am despite my external experiences, be a god as I see myself despite everything around me not giving me the opportnity to showcase myself. Unlock more of myself than what’s stimulated out into reality by my limited outer experiences.

How?

Still, who I choose to be is but a part of who I am. A maker that makes only parts of himself and not the whole.

Not everything I am I have chosen myself, not everything I am being I can choose going forward. So much is also already predestined, the are messages eons old written in my blood after all. Instincts and reflexes already there in my unconscious mind. I am so much already.

Mmmmh...

I am a god, but my understanding of what that means is superficial. It’s only conscious, and consciousness is mostly brought out of me by my experiences.

To bring more of my inner self to consciousness do I have to then experience more?

Who am I in the greater scheme of things?

I am me. But what does that mean for the world?

By virtue of being unique I am vital to the greater scheme of the universe. I am a functional unit of the universe that is a piece of order in a chaotic reality. A malglamation of blood, tissues, cells that form the order of the body which houses the order of my being.

There is no purpose to my existence greater than it’s very presence. The deeper I am me the more solidly I bring order to the entropy of the universe. By being me I am a filter that creates order out of the chaos, by deciding i create and destoy. Like a flower or a bee or the sun, I am an order. I am vital. I create the chaos from which all order is formed by creating order as I see it.

Ether is chaos given potential energy. Mana is that energy converted for biology.

Everything is what it is, nothing wants it’s existence or identify of self threatened. A large rock will resist being crushed into smaller stones. Mana is used to coerce things into different forms without diminising.

For a true master of mana things want to change their form. Existence is always in motion, even when it seems stationary. A true master of mana makes things what they naturally want to be with the energy they have access to.

To a true master reality and nature eagerly reshape themselves under the masters direction. A true master of manna doesn't force change, a true master allows it.

With this mana what can I do?

I can bring greater order to my physical existence. I can more solidly be me with all the physical manifestations that entails in reality. Though the whole of me is not my body, I can tighten the seams of said body to greater reflect who I am.

Yes, mana for me has always primarily been physical improvement of my body than manipulating worldly energies. As I have experienced through being buffed, as I have glimpsed from the messages passed on through my blood there is a lot of potential still locked within my body.

I am a god and my body is the bridge through which I experience the universe and the universe experiences me. I am a god and my body is my temple, let it be unlocked.

Two thresholds reached. Assimilate?, choose further assessment?, choose new topic?