cloud

Ever since Raiden left, I haven't been able to stop worrying. A nagging feeling in the back of my mind worried that something will go wrong. It was like Murphy's law: anything that can go wrong will go wrong. To try and clear my mind, I walk around pack lands, but it's no use. The more I do so, the more my mind runs wild. It's only when a hand is placed on my shoulder that I get a brief escape.

Turning around, I see Gaius' mate—Onyx—standing there.

"I didn't know you were here," I say.

He shrugs. "I just got here with Quinn," he gives me a small smile before adding, "You look like you're about to pass out from worry. You need to calm down."

I can't help but scoff at that. "That's easier said than done. Are you telling me that you aren't worried about Gaius?"

Onyx's eyes look around at our surroundings before he takes my hand and leads me away. I try to ask him what we're doing, but he doesn't bother to reply. Instead, we continue to walk in silence. Well, Onyx walks in silence while I tell him off and try to get out of his grip. It's only when Raiden's home comes into view that he loosens it.

"I didn't want to talk where we could be overheard," he explains. "I don't know how much the pack already knows and didn't want to cause panic. Let's talk inside."

Giving him a side eye, I pull my arm away from him and unlock the door. I step inside and Onyx follows suit, making sure to close and lock the door after entering. He walks around before taking a seat on the couch and looks at me to do the same.

Once we're both seated, he says, "You asked me if I was worried about Gaius. Of course, I am — I mean, he is my mate and after everything that happened last time, it's only natural," I open my mouth to speak, but he stops me. "But, I also know that Gaius is much more aware than he was last time and I know that he isn't alone. There are more of them this time. They'll be okay."

His words are spoken with a voice of confidence. He looks at me and his eyes soften.

"I may not know him all too well, but Raiden will be okay. If Alpha Tatum decided to send him then there must be a reason."

"That doesn't stop me from thinking up the worse possible scenarios," I admit.

Even though Raiden and I aren't on the best of terms right now, I still care about him. He's still my mate and I don't want to lose him.

"And you won't," Onyx tells me. "He's going to come back, we're going to get your beta back and end this once and for all. We're all going to move on with our lives once this is over and be happy."

Happy.

The word felt foreign to hear. I wasn't happy before I was taken, I wasn't happy at the lab, I wasn't happy when I came back, and now with everything going on, I still can't say that I am happy. The idea that I one day could say that I am happy felt like an alternate universe.

"Look," Onyx stares at me, his expression more serious. "You've been through shit and back. I mean, everyone involved in this mess has, but if you keep holding onto it and letting it define you, you're just letting them win. You survived the lab and you'll survive this as well, what counts is what you do after that. Life's too short to be stuck in the past or fighting over trivial issues. If you have something you want to do, then do it. If you have someone you want to be with, then talk to them and make it happen. Don't let Dexter, Michael, Demos, or anyone else dictate your happiness."

The way he stared at me told me he was speaking from experience. He also had survived the lab and now he was ready to move forward. He wasn't going to let any of the ghosts in his past, or even the trial, hold him back from getting what he wanted.

"What is your idea of happiness after all this is over?" I ask him.

Onyx looks up at the ceiling in thought. "Well, in terms of broad goals, I want to help grow and refurbish the pack. We've already made a lot of changes, but there's still more to do. In terms of more personal goals?" His smile grows wider. "I wanna marry Gaius. I know that marriage isn't a common practice among werewolves since we mark our mates and they're for life, but it's something that we both really want to do after this is all over. Also maybe even adopting and starting a family in the future. I know Gaius would be over the moon with that idea, but those are only two of the many things I want to do. What about you?"

What about me?

What did I see myself doing after this was all over? Unlike Onyx, I didn't see myself in this pack, or any pack really. The idea wasn't something I gave much thought to. Other than my conversations with Gray about if I felt like the Howling Night pack was my home, I hadn't thought further than that. Where would I be in three or four years from now? Where would Raiden and I be?

"I...I'm not sure," I admit.

"What about your wolf? Maybe there are possible ways to fix it. You could try looking more into it after this is over."

My wolf. After being broken for such a long time, I gave up on the idea of my wolf ever coming back.

"My wolf is as good as gone," I tell him.

Onyx frowns. "You know there's always a chance for the impossible to become possible. It doesn't hurt to check and ask around. Maybe some magic could help or when you and Raiden do your marking. There are still possibilities."

It does hurt. It causes hope for something that could ultimately never happen. It scares me to think that I could do all the searching and it could never amount to anything.

"I stopped hoping for that when I could no longer feel my wolf anymore."

Onyx raises an eyebrow. "I can feel your wolf."

I glare at him. "Not funny."

"I'm not joking," he tells me seriously. "It's faint, but I can still feel it."

I go quiet before taking a deep breath and saying, "Are you sure?"

Onyx nods. "I'm positive."

Was my wolf still here? Was it still alive? I stopped thinking so a long time ago, but maybe...

Closing my eyes, I try to call my wolf forward. To search for any sign that their there. I search deeper than I had in the past. I don't need to full on shift, I just need a sign — anything that could confirm the possibility that my wolf wasn't dead.

But it doesn't work.

No sign comes forward. There's no change. I'm still just regular ole Cloud, the broken wolf.

I shake my head. "I can't feel him. Nothing happens when I try to call him forward."

Onyx looks at me, the look in his eyes different from before. "Something did happen."

He takes his phone out of his pocket and turns on the camera before flipping it around so I see my face on the screen and even though it's faint and most people wouldn't even notice it, something did change.

Just barely there, hidden within my normal eye colors is a sliver of red. The color of a feral wolf's eyes.

Just as quick as it appeared, it disappeared. Neither Onyx nor I got the chance to comment on it though. His phone began to buzz in my hands so I gave it to him.

"Hello?" Onyx said. While I couldn't hear the call, I could tell that it must've been good news by the way his face broke out into a huge smile. "We'll be right there!"

We'll?

Onyx hangs up and he turns to me with wide eyes. "She's awake."

"Huh?"

"Maia. Maia's awake!"

...

When we arrive at the hospital, I can hear Raiden's mom from a mile away. When I step into the room I see her watery eyes as she stares at Maia whose eyes are wide open and taking in her surroundings.

"I'm so glad that you're awake. Your dad and I are going to find out when's the soonest you can leave and we'll be able to get Hopper to come down," she tells Maia.

"Hopper hasn't been in the pack for the past few days," her mate reminds her.

Maia's face drops at the mention of Hopper and she shakes her head. "There's no need to call Hopper."

Her Mom waves her off. "Nonsense, I'll talk to Alpha Tatum and see where Hopper is and we'll get him home. I'm sure he'll be overjoyed to see you're up. You are mates after all—"

"No," Maia says suddenly. She forces herself to sit up. Her dad reaches for her, but she smacks his hand away. "Hopper and I aren't mates. You know it, I know it, everyone does. We aren't happy together. We've all known it for a long time now."

Her mom looks at her with a confused expression. "What are you saying?"

Maia smiles sadly and says, "I'm saying that after I get out of the hospital and am back on my feet, Hopper and I will be going our separate ways once and for all."

"Mai—" her dad tries to speak.

"No, don't try to convince me otherwise," Maia sighs. "I nearly just died for goddess' sake. That changes things. I don't want to spend the rest of my life in some loveless relationship," she pauses and looks them in the eyes. "I wanna meet my mate. I wanna be happy, Raiden and I both do. It's like Raiden said, you guys got to wait for each other so what's so wrong with us wanting to find our true mates?" She glances over at me.

"Maia..." her Mom's voice trails off.

"No, Mom. Raiden and I are our own people. We want to be in charge of our own lives and I think it's time you and Dad both accept that. We aren't children anymore, we can make decisions for ourselves and you can either support those decisions or you can not be a part of our lives."