(I wrote a poem in first person, and I'm nervous about writing in a new style, I'm gonna post this and hope for the best. No Tws this time, I believe, but if there is any I missed that you guys find you can let me know!{also its the, being afraid of myself because I had a bad and lonely childhood for me})

My biggest fear is my own reflection

An irrational fear, I'm aware

But there is something so terrifying about looking me in the eyes

And seeing nothing but a liar, a pathetic little liar

Who hides behind fake smiles and a cheerful deceit

It's not like I want to

I wish I could shout my thoughts till my throat is sore

Till my head is quiet and I'm breathless

I wish I could scream about everything that hurts me

That I want to be fixed, glued back together with love

But at the same time, when I look myself in the eyes

I wish I could grow silent

So quiet it's like I was never there

I wish I could be silent enough to disappear, leave without a second thought

Lay in the grass and become one with the dirt

I wish my fears could wash away

I wish that the stupid mirror I look into would crack, and I would never have to see my eyes

My tired, sad eyes

Those stupid eyes, that make me see the face I fear

The reflection of a broken kid, who wants to be a kid

That's the most I could ever wish for

To be a kid again

To have a childhood filled with happy memories, one's I could look back on even I grow old

A childhood with affectionate parents, ones that weren't absent

Because truly that's how it all began

With a lonely kid who couldn't escape their own thoughts

Stuck staring into a mirror, not realizing the fear slowly blooming in the back of their brain