《Tutu (an apocalyptic story)》Chapter 41: Questions and Answers (2)
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“That is why we had to get out of there.” Carl had just concluded telling the others what he had seen in that room and why he felt the need to take action against Danny. Even hearing himself narrating that event, Carl still felt it was all truly unbelievable. He knew he was not crazy though; what he saw was real.
A silence descended on the room they had gathered together as the rest of them processed the unbelievable tale Carl had just told them. However, no one contested the veracity of his story. When the dead walked among the living, who could say what was and was not possible anymore? Was it so much of a stretch that monsters were popping out as well? Although they did not want to believe in the existence of such beings, they could not easily dismiss it as a possibility as well.
“That is quite a tale Carl. Are you sure of what you saw?” Chris spoke, after the silence stretched for an uncomfortable period of time.
“I am sure Chris. I know what I saw.” Carl responded with confidence.
“Even so, it did not make any moves against us, did it? How can you be so sure that it was dangerous? Maybe it just looked… bad?” Jane said optimistically, unable to think of a better word to describe the monstrosity that painted it in a better light. It was truly quite hard to view the grotesque creature Carl had described to them as something less than ‘bad’.
“You were not there, Jane. The way that thing looked at me, the way it spoke… I have no idea why it let me go, but I never felt a chill so intense before in my life. My instincts were screaming at me to get out of there. That thing was evil…” Carl said, suppressing a shudder that coursed through his spine as he remembered the image.
“Whatever the case, what should we do now? Will we have to deal with things like that as well from now on besides the zombies?” Donovan asked worriedly. However, no one had an answer to give him.
“I hope not, but what are the chances that we will get a lucky break?” Chris said with sarcasm.
“I am starting to lose the feel on what is real and what is not anymore. Less than 10 days ago, I was still struggling to gather enough money for University. It feels like it was in another lifetime.” Donovan stated sadly.
The silence stretched for a few more moments in response to Donovan’s despondence. Not long after, it was Carl that intervened this time, trying to chase away the stagnant quietude.
“I guess that what happened with Danny does not really matter anymore. We did what we had to do, and what we thought was the right course of action.” He stopped before continuing. “What matters is what we choose to do going forward.” Carl completed, trying to forget his own part in the betrayal that transpired, and to draw their attention to their undecided following steps – something he felt was more of a priority.
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Carl was about to speak again, but was interrupted by Janice.
“No. It does matter. Whether Danny meant to harm us or not we will never know. We never gave him a chance to explain himself.” Janice stated with sadness in her voice.
“Jan…” Carl was about to try to justify himself and console her, but was immediately cut short again.
“Do not call me that anymore Carl. We are done.” She said with an uncompromising and unflinching tone. However, she immediately changed gears afterward and continued in a softer tone.
“I am not going to take the moral high ground and condemn you for what you did, but we all have to face our own failings with brutal honesty.” Janice said, no longer so angry over Carl’s decisions. During the time he had been recounting his experiences that led him to that decision, Janice had time to process her own feelings, regaining more of her calm self.
“We all had our part in what happened and made our own choices. That is something we cannot pin on anyone else.” Janice shook her head with weariness, not trying to deflect the blame for discarding Danny to anyone else.
“I understand why you felt you had to do it. Believe me, I do.” Janice stared into Carl’s eyes as she said that, as if trying to convey her emotions through eye-contact. “Having said that however, I cannot agree with it. I understand that you felt that taking a chance with Danny was too much of a risk given what you seen and the secrets Danny was hiding from all of us… still, I think we should have taken that chance and given him the benefit of the doubt.”
As Janice finished saying her piece, silence took over the room again. They all had varied reactions to what she said. Some did not agree with her point of view, but did not wish to contradict her and appear selfish or egocentric; others merely lowered their heads, embarrassed to have their flaws pointed out so bluntly.
It was not Janice’s intention to put everyone’s mood down though. She just felt that she had to say something, that she had to point it out now, or she might be cornered with a similar situation in the future. They had to be more trusting towards one another, otherwise, how could they truly work together? How could they depend on each other?
If there was no way back to how things used to be, and the world was truly fucked up for good, then sooner or later they would face challenges that could not be overcome individually. If they all behaved selfishly and looked out only for themselves, not willing to place their safety and trust in the hands of another, how would they be able to survive in the long term? They had to change.
There was no taking back what was done, but they could at least try to learn from their mistakes and try to improve themselves instead of pretending that nothing happened, right?
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“Sorry if I said too much guys, I just felt that we need to trust each other more than that in order to get through all this shit…” Janice apologized as a token of good-will, showing that she understood their difficulties and flaws without pointing any fingers. She was not trying to fault anybody, neither was she looking for a scapegoat after all.
“It's okay Janice, you shouldn't apologize. We need to face our shortcomings and become better people.” Jane said while tears dripped from her eyes as she moved to hug her best friend, feeling moved by what she had said. It was true, they all had made a choice. Wasn’t she at fault as well for not speaking up for Danny at the time? In the end she valued her own safety and relationship with Janice more. They were all fallible.
Whether it was the right or wrong course of action, no one would ever know.
“Jan… Janice… can we talk about us later?” Carl asked his ex-girlfriend calmly, not willing to just give up on them, while at the same time trying not to be forceful about it.
“It is okay Carl, we can talk. For now, though, I think we should decide where we should go tomorrow and what our next steps should be.” Janice agreed to Carl’s request succinctly, before she steered the conversation in a more productive direction now that she had already laid out in the open the burdens that had been weighing in her heart ever since they left Danny behind.
Seeing the matter of their unity crisis coming to a closure, the rest of the group started discussing their future strategies and how to deal with this possible new threat.
Danny returned to the room where everything went wrong and found an armadillo with its belly up, slowly sipping blood from the cup he had previously hidden under the bed.
Danny suppressed the anger that stirred in his gut after seeing the laid-back attitude of the demon after the mess it had caused. Nothing would change even if he threw a fit in front of the demon. That would not accomplish anything, and would only serve to amuse Tutu. He would not give the demon the satisfaction.
Danny entered the room, but kept the door open in order to illuminate it partially. The room had all its lights turned off, given that the demon preferred the dark and there was no point to antagonize it. Thus, normally Danny would prepare accordingly if he knew that they would meet that day.
Now however, Danny could not care less about harmony and pleasant tactics. He would not fall out with the demon over their disagreement – the only one to suffer in that case would be Danny certainly – however, he was still annoyed at Tutu so his approach was less than diplomatic.
“Oh, come on Danny-boy! Why the long face?! You do not need any of those annoyances crowding the place slowing you down! They would only get in the way, and probably would not even last that long! You are better off without them! I say good riddance!” The lazy-looking armadillo went on with his monologue, dismissing the others as mere obstacles and minimizing the relevance of its own role in all of that commotion.
Danny maintained his serene expression, but his gritted teeth betrayed the irritation he felt at the demon’s nonchalance.
It was true that Danny had already decided to move on, and made his peace with their betrayal. He would not bother himself with them anymore neither he would concern himself with their wellbeing. That did not mean that his acceptance of the situation translated to indifference towards the demon’s actions.
Danny knew that he had to keep his cool when dealing with Tutu, but it was still hard to swallow his grievances when facing the demon’s flippant attitude. Danny was still relatively young in the end. But with some effort he managed to regain control of his emotions.
“I see. Should I expect you to deal with anymore ‘annoyances’ for me in the future?” Instead of exploding into an angry tirade and giving the demon the satisfaction, Danny opted to merely question it with a boring attitude, throwing back to the demon the word ‘annoyance’ laced with sarcasm as the sole exception to his monotone.
“Bah! You humans are so delicate! You can’t even help out someone without being condemned by your good intentions!” The armadillo turned back on its feet with fake outrage before reforming itself into a mix of a hippopotamus and a crocodile, with two pitch-black human-like hands growing out from within its huge mouth and holding the chalice in place.
“Is that a yes or a no?” Danny barely bat his eyelids at the freak show in front of him, and simply pressed the demon for an answer, ignoring its attempt to dodge the question.
“Ugh! FINE! I will try to refrain interacting with your human associates. Seriously Danny, you are such a drag. You are lucky I like you so much!” The creature said while looking at Danny in a disturbing manner and licking the blood of the chalice with a strange and thin tongue that emerged from those obscured gaping jaws at the same time.
“Yeah. I am certainly blessed.” Danny stated plainly.
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