The next few days flew by in a fog; a beautiful, dream-like fog. Josh spent most of them at our house with mom and me, lounging around, watching movies and playing board games as one does during that awkward time between Christmas and New Year's, even helping us tidy up and start to gather my things together for when we finally left for school.

Every night he insisted on making us dinner, but I always stayed close by, sitting on the counter, watching as he prepped and cooked everything so effortlessly, making me start to dream about life in our own home one day. I was never much of a chef, but I knew with him, I'd never go hungry, in every sense of the word.

"So, what are you two planning to do tonight?" Mom asked, making her way into the kitchen, sitting down across from us at the island. Months ago, I would have been embarrassed for her to see us like this, but it all suddenly became so normal, so comfortable, never wanting to let go of him in one way or another.

Josh shrugged, sprinkling something into one of the pots he had boiling.

"I don't know, I thought it would be nice to just have a quiet night in here." He said simply, smirking up at me. "I think I might be all partied out. Kinda just want to settle down." My cheeks burned as I smiled back at him, thinking about how nice that would be.

There was just something about finally finding that one person that brought you complete peace, where now nothing was more exciting than just a night in with them. And also, there was no other way I wanted to ring in the new year than with just the two, or rather, three of us.

"Oh, don't be so old already." Mom laughed, rolling her eyes. "You guys have the rest of your life to stay in. You should go out and celebrate with everyone. You have plenty to celebrate."

And she was right. The fact that I was ending the year with him was enough for me, but now we were both going off to follow our own dreams, and that was a lot to get excited about too.

"What are the guys planning?" She asked. I shrugged, peeking back up at Josh who continued to stir one of the other pots.

"Knowing them, just going out and getting hammered." He laughed, moving over to my other side, starting to cut up some vegetables.

"And you don't want to go?" She laughed, knowing how unappealing that sounded to anyone. He shook his head, giggling to himself.

"Not really."

But, she was right. This was the year to celebrate. This was the year that everything changed, for the better, and we deserved a night out to recognize that too.

"Well, it could be fun." I said, playfully nudging him. He smirked up at me, subtly shaking his head.

"Yeah, just like every other night." He laughed. I sighed, leaning my head on his shoulder.

"We should celebrate us." I said. "If anything." He was quiet for a moment before finally turning to me, gently kissing my forehead.

"If you want to.."

"Yeah, maybe we should."

He finished cutting up the rest of the vegetables, dumping them into one of the pots and then finally turned around, leaning up against the counter. Reaching over, he grabbed one of the towels, drying off his hands.

"Looks like we're going out." He laughed, before tossing it to the side.

"We didn't have to get a car." I laughed, leaning my head on his shoulder as we made our way to the bar in town. He reached over, taking my hand and intertwining our fingers.

"Of course I did. If we're going out, then we're going out." He said. "And if I'm driving then that means you get to have all the fun." I nodded, watching as the lights flew by. Our town was so beautiful around Christmas time, covered from top to bottom in radiant reds and glaring greens and sparkling silvers. It was like a dream that I never wanted to wake up from.

Finally we stopped, Josh quick to get out and make his way around the car, opening the door for me.

"Thank you!" He called out, shutting it behind me as he tightly grabbed my hand, quickly leading us inside. I held onto his arm as he guided us through, scanning the large crowd of people until we finally saw Jake, Sam, and Danny on the other side of the room, huddled around their favorite pool table.

Sam's head instantly perked up, waving us down with a toothy grin, beer already in hand. I waved back, motioning back to Josh who lead us over towards them.

"I thought you guys weren't gonna make it!" Sam said, leaning in, gently kissing my cheek before quickly handing me a beer. My cheeks burned red, a smile escaping my lips as I watched him make his way around the table, taking a shot.

"You okay with that?" Josh asked, looking down at the beer in my hand. I nodded, taking a sip, looking around to see Jake in the corner with Danny and two other girls I didn't recognize.

"Yeah, thanks." I said, bringing my attention back to him, flashing him a smile.

As much as I wanted to enjoy being out, I couldn't help but feel like him and I would have had more fun at home alone together. Maybe I was over the partying, or maybe it was just the fact that nothing could compare to being with him.

All I needed now.. was him.

I sipped slow all night, cautious not to get too carried away, wanting to at least enjoy our first New Year's kiss together when the clock struck 12:00. I had never had one before, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't thrilled at the idea of it finally being him, after all these years of imagining that it would be.

But occasionally I'd look over to see Jake holding himself up against the pool table, trying to play it off like it was more sober than he was, but I'd know that look anywhere; his eyes half shut, his cheeks pink with intoxication. The girl he was with seemed oblivious, downing just as much as he did in order to keep up. I felt sorry for her, clearly searching for validation that she wasn't going to get, not tonight, at least.

Not from him.

I could tell that Josh noticed me watching, keeping his distance as the night went on, but finally he moved in closer, slowly turning my chin to face him, leaning into a gentle kiss. I couldn't help but smile, kissing him back as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"We still have an hour until midnight." I laughed, leaning my forehead against his as I felt his hands move to my waist, pulling me up against him. He nodded, giggling to himself before pulling me into another long kiss.

"I know.." He sighed. "But.. that just means one more hour of the best year of my life." My heart jumped.

"Really?" I asked, despite everything that had happened, it was still the best year for him. He nodded.

"Really."

It was the best year for me too.

And part of me was sad to see it go.

But I was so excited for what the future held.

"I'm so excited for us." I said, now starting to sway with him. He played along, swaying with me before taking my hand and twirling me around. I'm sure it looked ridiculous, dancing alone with him in a crowded bar, but I didn't care about what anyone thought of me anymore, as long as I was making him smile, I was happy.

"Me too." He said, pulling me back in, leaning his head on my shoulder. "Tomorrow we can really get started on packing and finding where we're gonna stay."

"You really want to live with me?" I asked. "You know that's kind of a big step." He nodded, giggling to himself.

"Jaime, I want everything with you. Every morning I'd get to wake up to you would be a blessing. The question is.. do you really want to live with me?"

"After seeing what a good cook you are, I want to live with you forever." I laughed. His smile grew as he stared back at me with those dazed eyes, those same eyes that I remembered from that night at the carnival, the way they glowed as we lied together on the hood of the car, just praying one of us would be brave enough to jump.. and now here we were.

Planning our forever.

And then out of the corner of my eye, I could see a familiar mop of hair, stumbling his way across the bar, headed for the front doors. Looking over, Jake was reaching his hand out to catch his balance along the wall, guiding him towards the door, pushing it open with his back as he barely made it to the sidewalk without a careless stagger.

"Hey, I.. I'll be right back." I said, motioning towards him. Josh looked over, noticing him slowly disappearing down the road.

"Okay." He said, nodding in agreement. "Let me know if you need me." I gave him a quick smile, thankful at how easily he could understand a situation like this.

When I got outside, I could see Jake meeting up with another group of people that I had never seen before. Did he just meet them tonight? Where were they even going?

"Jake!" I called out. But he kept walking.

"Jake!" I yelled again, quickly catching up to him, grabbing at his hand which I now realize held his keys.

"W-where are you going? You're not driving." I snapped, reaching out for them. He quickly pulled his hand away, now glaring back at me.

"Yes I am. I'm fine." He said, turning away again. I reached back out, turning him around to face me.

"No you're not. Let me just-" He pulled away again as I went to reach for the keys.

"Jaime, you can't control what I do anymore, you made your choice so.. just.. leave me alone." My heart dropped. Is that what this was about? I looked around, none of his new "friends" eager to stop him either, all of which were just as wasted, if not more so.

"Jake, that.. that doesn't mean I don't care about you." I said, following him as he continued his way to the car. I remembered the last time him and I were alone in his car, listening to music as the rain violently poured down around us, blocking us from the rest of the world. It was everything little me had ever wanted, just to be alone with him like that. And then our bare feet splashing against the freezing cold grass as we rushed for safety under the big tree, our tree. I hadn't visited it since, knowing that nothing but these memories would flood my mind, dreading the possibility of second guessing myself again.

"Yeah. Whatever, Jaime." He muttered. I hated seeing him like this. This wasn't the Jake I knew, the Jake that I still loved, even if it was different now.

"Okay, fine, but.. if you want to leave then.. at least let someone else drive."

"Jaime, I'm fine."

"You're not fine, Jake, please. Come on." I begged. He shook his head, going for the car handle before I could quickly push his hand away.

I don't know what it was, but something just came over me, an awful feeling in my gut, not to let him get into that car tonight. I knew that no matter what, I couldn't let him leave.

"Why do you even care so much?" He snapped. "You're going off to live your life so.. just go. And leave me here with nothing. And.. for what? Because I defended you? Look where that got me." My whole body went cold. He blamed me for everything?

"You said that you didn't regret it." I muttered. He sighed, his glare slowly fading into a stern frown.

"I don't." He finally said. "I just.. it's just not fair."

"I'm sorry." I said, peeking back up at him. He scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"You're sorry." He said, going for the car again. I felt my heart beating faster, tears now coming to my eyes. He stopped when he heard my short breaths.

"Jaime, that's not fair." He sighed. I knew what he meant, knowing that he could never resist my crying, but I couldn't help it. I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to him.

"Please don't go. Stay with us." I managed, wiping my eyes.

"Yeah, stay with you, and have to see that all night." My cheeks burned, now wondering if he had seen Josh and I, and that was what put him over the edge.

"There won't be anything to see, I promise. We won't do anything, just please stay here." He stopped, holding his stare on me for a moment, as if considering, but finally shook his head, opening the door.

And then I felt something I hadn't felt in a long time. It was like a presence lingering over me, warning me. Try harder, it said. My body went cold. I'd know that voice anywhere. I hadn't heard it in years, since I was little, clutching to his leg as we made breakfast together for mom.

Try harder.

I then reached out, grabbing onto his shirt and turning him around to face me. He stared back at me, his eyes as wide as he could manage as they moved down to my lips, almost as if by habit.

"Why do you care what I do, Jaime?" He asked, and it broke my heart, the idea of him thinking a part of it wouldn't always belong to him, no matter what happened between us.

"Because I love you!" I said, grabbing him and pulling him into a passionate kiss, knowing that was my only chance of getting him to stay, even if it was only for that much longer, anything I could do to keep him from getting into that car.

He was taken back, jumping at the familiar feeling of my lips on his again, but then I felt him grab me, pulling me up against him, kissing me back harder as his hands instantly moved into my hair.

When I finally moved away, he stared back at me, his eyes almost hopeful, his once clenched jaw slowly softening into a awestricken grin.

"Jake! Come on!" The girl called out from the backseat. I could feel the anger building inside me, knowing how none of them cared about themselves, let alone him. And how dare they risk taking him away from me.

I grabbed his hand, slowly pulling the keys from out of his grip. This time he let me, moving his hand into mine, intertwining our fingers as I heard one of the car doors opening, someone else getting out and making their way around the car.

"Jake, are you coming or not?" He asked, snatching the keys from my hand. My stomach dropped as I looked back up at him, knowing at this point I would do whatever it took to keep him from getting into this car. I squeezed his hand tighter as more tears came to my eyes.

Finally, I felt him sigh, shaking his head as he kept his eyes on me, getting out of the way so he could get into the driver's seat.

"You don't have to-"

"Get in or get out of the way." He snapped. I felt this sinking feeling in my gut again, hating the idea of letting them drive away, despite knowing what I felt, but I moved away from the car, pulling Jake over with me, tightly wrapping my arms around him and hiding my face in his chest. He motioned for them to leave without him as he hugged me tighter, his hands moving into my hair, holding me up against him.

The screeching of the tires against the pavement left me with a sense of relief, knowing that he was at least safe in my arms, despite there being nothing I could do to stop the others. Hopping the curb and peeling out into the street, the revving engine echoed into the distance as I felt him lean down, kissing the top of my head. I held him tighter, nuzzling my face into his shirt to wipe the tears that continued to fall.

"Can we go back now?" I asked, peeking up at him. He nodded, gently brushing his fingers through my hair, giving me a subtle smile before leaning in, kissing my forehead.

"Yeah." He sighed, trying his hardest to keep from swaying.

I took his hand, slowly guiding him back down the sidewalk, but stopping before we got too close to the doors. He stumbled, reaching out for me to catch his balance.

"Before we go back in.." I said, biting down on my lip. "Thank you.. for not going." He nodded, holding his stare on me, trying his best to keep them open.

"But.. please don't tell him, I.. I meant it, I just.. let me tell him." He nodded again, his face dropping.

"It's okay." He said. "I know why.. why you did it."

"I just.. I couldn't let you go."

He held his stare on me for a moment, gently brushing his thumb against my cheek before finally moving away and making his way back inside.