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I'm terrified of Natasha Romanoff. No, she hasn't threatened me or even said a single bad thing to me, nor has she ever even hurt me, I'm just scared of her.

Wanda thinks it's because of her face. There nothing wrong with her face, I mean obviously, you'd be stupid to think there was, but she has this resting bitch face, and it terrifies me.

I don't know, I mean, I'm scared of lots of people. I'm scared of Thor sometimes, he'll enter a room screaming, and it's horrifying. Then again I'm also scared of Tony, I can't tell if he's serious or not. Last week he told me he was going to push me off the tower, and let's just say I haven't stepped foot onto that damn balcony since.

But it's not like that with Natasha. Take the other day for example. She walked past me in the kitchen and asked me to hand her a cup. Was it a threat? Absolutely not, but that's what's scary about it.

She always has this stern pissy look on her face. Maybe she just intimidates me cause of how perfectly sculpted she is, or maybe it's how her eyebrow raises when she starts getting angry at someone.

I simply don't know. What I do know, is that she makes my palms sweat and she makes me feel so faint that I might just drop dead onto the floor.

"This is a party, not the time to be thinking." It was Wanda who yanked me out of my spree of imagination.

"If I don't think then I'll stop breathing." I reply, downing the rest of my drink. "Want another drink?" Maria questions from the other side of the bar.

"Yes, she does." Wanda answered for me. "Wanda-" I whine. I've already had one too many, and this bitch always drowns me with alcohol.

"More drink, less thought." She informs. "Pretty sure that's how I become an alcoholic." I muttered before thanking Maria for my oh so wanted drink.

"I think I'm gonna get laid tonight." And just like that, the both of them explode into a never ending conversation about all the fat assed men in the party.

"Yeah? That guy over there seems cute?" Maria shrugged, nodding her head towards someone. He was atrocious, looked like something off of the fucking hobbit.

"Mh, he does, doesn't he?" I watch the both of them with my brows furrowed. "Go fix your vision." I muttered.

"That reminds me, what happened with you and vision?" Maria spiralled on. Wanda sighed and rested her head onto the palm of her hand as she swirled her glass around.

"Nothing, that's what happened." She frowned again and breathed out another dramatic sigh of carbon fucking dioxide.

"What? I thought you two were cute together!"

"Yeah his vibraniumness really matches your hair colour." I mumbled dryly. She nudges my arm playfully and shakes her head.

"He's so sweet don't get me wrong, but, it's just that, he hasn't like taken me to bed or anything yet, I don't know where it's going..." Wanda replies.

"Does he even- no I don't want to know- maybe he's just waiting for you to do something? I don't know." Maria shrugs, handing a guy his drink.

The both of them stayed silent, as if they were thinking for a solution that had the answer right under their noses.

"Maybe if you find a guy to fuck for the night he would magically grow a pair of vibranium balls and find something robotic inside of his metallic skull to ask you to do something with him." I offer.

The both of them just stare at me with confusion. "That's not a bad idea?" Maria chuckled.

"Why do you hate vision so much?" Wanda frowns. "I'm gonna drink my problems away- hold on-" she shakes her head at me as I finish my drink in one swallow.

"I think you're the one needing to get laid tonight-" Maria giggles, taking my glass and filling it up again which I totally asked for.

"No I'm fine. I don't need a man to feel good about myself."

"What about a woman?" Wanda suggests. I went quiet and glared at my glass with confusion. "You know, women are genuinely so much more fun in bed-" Maria went on.

"Really? You did it with a woman?" Wanda asked her. Here we go again, another topic for them to bite themselves into.

"Yep. Don't get me wrong, men are fine for a couple of minutes. But women just go on forever and ever, plus they just get it, you know?"

"Yeah, totally." Wanda nods. "So you like any women here tonight?" She added, raising her brow at me.

"Just because I don't want some dick doesn't mean I want pussy." I muttered.

"Ooh she's cute-" Wanda says nodding her head at some blonde. I think about it for less than a second and shake my head. "No."

"Well what's your type?" Maria asked. "I don't know?" I sigh and try to think about a woman that could possibly make me feel something.

The only woman who makes me feel something is Natasha, and that feeling is definite fear.

"Tall or short?" Wanda elaborates.

"Tall I guess? But I don't really-"

"Okay tall...blonde or brunette?" Maria asks.

"None."

"Ok, so we have tall, possibly bald, or maybe she has blue hair?" She chuckles.

"Orrrr...she's a red head-" Wanda had an evil smirk plastered on her face as she nudged my arm as if I was a fucking crossing the street button.

"I don't know any red heads except for you-" I say bluntly. "And I'm not into you- respectfully-" I added.

"Pepper pots is a red head?" Maria shrugs. "Also married."

"You know who else is a red head?" And again her elbow was hitting mine like the fucking titanic. I will sink soon and drown if she doesn't quit.

"Natasha." She says proudly. "Ah- Natasha-" Maria joined in with the same tone of voice as Wanda.

"Are you nuts? Are you completely off the rails again?" I exclaim. "Not exactly no, but I have a point, don't I?"

"No, I don't think you do Wanda-"

"Damn, I though you were scared of Nat, maybe you just had a crush on her all along-" she chuckles, handing Maria her glass again so she can fill her never ending cycle.

"Things just got exciting in the avengers tower-" Maria winks. "The last thing I'll do is talk to Natasha. Wanda you know I don't like her, she scares the shit out of me, she hates me!"

"No she doesn't you're just sensitive-"

"Sensitive? No, Maria im telling you she gawks at me as if im a dumb ant on the side of the road. She makes my body sweat in places it shouldn't be sweating, and I feel this heat on my skin and it makes me want to combust and die." I say dramatically.

"Have you had a crush before?" Maria questions with all seriousness. The question struck me as odd, come to think of it, I don't think I have.

"Because that sounds exactly like a crush to me-" she added. "I'm leaving, And I'm not leaving to get laid, I'm leaving cause I'm done with the conversation." I say leaving the bar.

"She'll get laid-"

"Definitely." Wanda confirms.

As I'm trying to cascade my way through the crowd upon crowds of wondering idiots, I trip over my own two legs. When life gives you legs, you use them. But not when a Phsycotic sokovian persuades you to drink your abilities away you don't.

Instead you miraculously bump into someone, spilling your glass of will all over them. Great.

"Oh-" I say, in a weirdly calm and blank tone, as I'm being held up by someone. My eyesight pans from my depressing glass on the floor, up towards a stained silhouette that was dressed in a provoking dress, to meet eyes with her.

My stupidly calm and blank manner is instantly replaced by anxious and nerve racking adrenaline pumping through my veins. Or maybe it's the booze...

"Are you ok?" I'm unable to answer as I'm being pulled towards the bar again. "Your dress-" I state. Why out of all people did I have to stumble into Natasha? Why not some old man? Why not the floor? Maybe if I hit the floor hard enough I could've gone for a nice well deserved nap.

"The dress is fine, are you fine y/n, did you slip or something?" Her voice is soft. I manage to swallow an imaginative pill of courage and meet eyes with her.

Of course my body hit the panic button, because she sat there with her brows furrowed and eyes darting it Into me. Help, why does she look angry, so angry she could slap me in the face and kill me.

"No- yes- no- kinda-" if I were a baseball player I would swing the bat right into my face right about now. Maybe I would aim for my left cheek or something.

"Hey, take a deep breath in, you wanna go somewhere quiet? You look shaken?" Maybe she's inviting me out of this damn room so she can murder me in peace.

"U-um- no-" I mumbled. I felt like my diaphragm was about to crack and my organs were going to drop to the pit of my stomach. My palms felt sweaty, and my throat was imitating the desert.

"What's the matter? Are you drunk? Let me get you some water." I nod my head due to my increasing heart rate and the fact that my lungs kept rapidly moving.

"Maria! Water!" She orders. And then my head started spinning, engraving the shitty music to the back of my skull.

I was suddenly pulled up and guided out of the room. Oh no, I'm certain I'm getting slaughtered right now.

Weirdly enough though, I felt better now that I was in a quiet place. She sat me down, and handed me a glass of water.

I downed the whole thing, despite my mind racing 50 miles per hour, thinking that maybe she's put poison in my water, maybe she's drugging me.

"Do you feel better?"

I finish the cup of water and accidentally drop it on the floor. "You scare the shit out of me." I blurt out. She furrows her brows as she picks up the plastic cup and places it on the table.

"What?" She questions. "Are your brows furrowed cause they're stuck like that, or because you're plotting my murder?"

"Y/n you really need to lie down for a second, you're seriously burning up." She replies, lying me down on the couch.

"Wanda said your face is just like that, but I was thinking that maybe you were born with your face stuck like that, like maybe when you came out the womb you just had a resting bitch face, but please if you can, will you give it a rest because you scare the shit out of me and -"

"Y/n, calm down." I take in a deep breath. That was quite a sentence, I didn't even stop for a breath, I nearly fainted in my little speech just then.

"Wait- y/n, does my face like bother you?" She asked sadly. I quickly sat up and shook my head.

"Oh no- no it doesn't I think you have a beautiful face, like I mean, your face is..is perfect, like no one beats your face-" I slap myself in the face and take a pause. I mainly paused because I thought about what Wanda and Maria had told me earlier.

I don't have a crush on her right? Like she's gorgeous, so hot, genuinely flawless, but like, I don't think the fact that I can't normally speak around her makes her my crush, right?

"It doesn't matter, I'm sorry for ruining your dress- and like nearly fainting- and like saying you have a resting bitch face since you came out the womb- I mean seriously sorry-"

She looked genuinely upset at my words though. And all of a sudden, I felt bad, I felt bad for being a dumbass, i wasn't afraid of her anymore because she looked sad.

"Natasha-" I say as she silently stands up and starts walking away. She turned around and frowned at me. Jesus, I've never seen her look so emotional in my life. She usually has the emotion of a carrot.

"I'm gonna get Wanda since you think I look like such a monster." She mutters, leaving me there. I was going to say something, but what the fuck was I supposed to say?

I groan and lie back down on the couch, burying my face in the pillow. "What happened?" Wanda questions, moving my legs and sitting down.

"Dunno-" I mumble. "Wanda I think I made her sad." I frown, gazing at the roof.

"Y/n how the hell did you go from getting laid, to degrading her?" Wanda scolds sluggishly.

"I wasn't degrading her!" I argue, sitting upright. "It just fell out of my mouth as if it was spit, I spat at her Wanda, I spat at her face-" I went on sadly.

She hushed me and shook her head. "Did you really spit? Or are you being metaphorical?"

"No! Yes! Wait- no! I need to go and find my spit!" I shout, standing up and waltzing back into the party.

"Maria have you seen Natasha?" I ask desperately. "She needs to find her spit-" Wanda laughed, handing her glass over again.

"Natasha is right behind you, I told you to get your eyes checked fucking weeks ago-" she replied, nodding behind me.

I turn around to see her standing there with confusion. I grab her hand, and drag her out again.

"Y/n-"

"No hush! Nat I didn't mean to spit on you-" I frown. Confusion was the only emotion her face could stir. She sighs and sits down next to me.

"You're extremely drunk love, why don't I take you to your room-" she suggests softly.

"No- I spat all over your face, I think, oh god-" I buried my face into the palms of my hands and contemplated my whole existence.

She pulls me up and wraps her arm around my waist. "You've had enough tonight, I think you're just a little overwhelmed-" she spoke.

I shook my head, and was genuinely confused when I opened my eyes to see that we were all of the sudden in the elevator. I'm too drunk for this.

"I think you're so beautiful Natasha-" I whisper.

"Im not scared of you, I think your beauty just- not scares me, I think it intimidated me-" I went on.

"Y/n, you're drunk. You don't mean any of this. God why do you have to be so poetic when you're off your damn head-" she groaned, still holding me close.

I leant my head on her shoulder and furrowed my brows. "No, please. I think I have a crush on you, like really, because I thought you scared me because you're intimidating, which you are, but I think it's also because you're so perfect."

She didn't reply. "You make my heart stop. I'm not kidding, I sometimes think I need cpr, because you make me feel things that I don't think I should feel-" I'm so embarrassing right now, but I simply can't stop the words slipping out of my mouth. I need tape to cover my mouth shut.

"It's fear y/n, you don't like me." She sighs, about to leave the elevator. I stop, and pull her back. Suddenly my lips are stupidly attached to hers, and I can't stop.

She pulls away, and holds onto my wrist. "Oh- oh no I need to- I need to get some wine- I'm such an idiot-" I muttered, pressing random buttons on the elevator as if it would do anything.

"Y/n, listen to me-" she sighs, pulling me out before the elevator could move to all the floors I had pressed.

She started guiding me towards her room. "You won't remember any of this when you wake up. And if you do, you'll surely regret it." She opens the door and walks me in.

"No- because I won't." I reply sadly. "I won't because I finally realised what you make me feel. I don't care if you don't feel the same, but I won't regret telling you all of this because I know it's true. And now I know why I act so foolish around you-"

She silently hands me some pyjamas and walks me to the bathroom, closing the door behind me.

I quickly got dressed, and was suprised to see that she was still there. "Just go to bed love, you need to rest." She informs softly.

I groan and lean against my doorframe. "But natashaaa-" I whined at her.

She came over and guided me towards the bed. "Just lie down, you can stay in my room for tonight, I need to look after you." She told me as she pulled the covers over me.

She then gave me the softest smile i had ever seen. And then suddenly I forgot about her stern glare, how she carries a gun everywhere she goes. How she'll swear and shout in Russian when she's mad.

All I could think about were the times where she was sweet and kind. Which was most of the time. All the times she was smiling, happy, looking after everyone and caring. Why didn't I just notice sooner?

"What's the matter? Why are you frowning at me?" She asked me sadly. "Cause I'm sorry-" I mumbled.

"I don't think you're a monster." I added. "Y/n, come on it's fine, just get some rest now." She sighed, handing me a glass of water.

"No! Natasha seriously, I don't know why I said that, you're so beautiful. You're anything but a monster. You're like the opposite. Please I don't know why I said that." I went on.

"Drink your water. And it doesn't matter anyway, cause I am a monster." She mumbled quietly. I furrowed my brows after taking a godly sip of water.

"Well a monster wouldn't tuck me into bed." I replied, watching her tuck me into bed. She gave me a light smile as she kicked off her heels and started getting into her pyjamas.

She then got into bed next to me and pulled the covers over herself. I turned around to face her and leant my head on her shoulder.

"I really like you." I told her quietly.

"I really don't think you do."

"Yes, I do. I really really do. You're just so sweet and beautiful and amazing and caring and like...hot, and I just didn't notice it cause I was too nervous to even breathe around you." I went on.

"You're also drunk." She tried reminding me.

I shook my head and help her hand. "Okay so you don't like me back, ok that's fine. But I still like you."

"Y/n I didn't say I didn't like you back." She sighs, wrapping and arm around me as she got comfortable.

"You like me back?" I asked her with a smile.

"It doesn't matter cause you'll forget it in the morning. Now get some rest." She told me softly.

"Okay...but I'll remember in the morning that you like me back..." I giggled, hugging her tightly. She smiles and gently plays with my hair.

"Yeah yeah, sure you will..."

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This is so long it might as-well just quit. I'm sorry for being busy guys it doesn't help that I have no idea what to write rn so requests are needed don't be shy.

also look how pussy slay my spidey suit is

anyway stay safe love you xx

-mim