he first thing that crosses my mind is Alyssa.

The next thing is shit.

His fist comes quick with razor-sharp precision. I stumble back, shaking off the sting as I face my opponent: Hayden. I throw a hit I think will land, but he sidesteps and ducks. His feet seem to float over the faded red canvas, weightless as he dodges me.

It's my fault, and hell if I don't know it. Ever since Alyssa came storming into my life, I've been slacking on training, but with my debut fight in just a few weeks, now is the time to focus. The trouble is, I'd have to forget about her to do it, and that's no easy feat.

His fist blurs through air in a sharp arc toward me, landing across my mouth. I stagger back before regaining composure, hands up and ready for the next. Still, despite my quick recovery, Hayden isn't impressed.

"Where's your head, O'Connor?" he says.

I spit out the blood in my mouth. "Gone."

He smirks like he knows what I mean. I throw a punch, but it sails right over his shoulder. "You," he says, pushing me back, "aren't training enough."

Don't I know it. Even now, I can't help but wonder how Alyssa is doing. We've spent every night together these past few days, but I know it must kill her being away from her family – not just her family, but her friends too.

I ignore the guilt and turn back to Hayden, landing a quick one-two. It catches his jaw, but he rolls with the punch and steps forward with a cross that knocks me for six. The truth is, I'm tired as hell and pretty much running on three hours of sleep, so this fight isn't one of my finest. With Alyssa's parents cutting her off, I've been picking up more delivery shifts, mostly late ones, so sleep is a thing of the past.

"You step into your fight like this, and you're going to get annihilated," Hayden says.

"No shit." I circle him again, allowing me a moment to regain my strength. If this were anyone else, they'd have put me on the floor by now, using my tiredness against me, but not him. Hayden likes to win when we're on an even keel, and right now, I'm barely standing.

"Take the day off," he says, about to take his gloves off, "get some rest. I can't fight you like this."

"I can't afford to lose my fight," I say, moving forward. "Keep your gloves on, Walker."

He barely has time to react before my next hit. With a quick pullback, he dodges the worst of my jab and swings but misses me completely. I dance toward him, light on my feet as I fake a right hook before landing an uppercut.

Adrenaline runs through me as he stumbles against the ropes. Standing in this ring is the only time life feels like it makes any sense, and I have to maintain that. If I don't, then what? I'll be stuck making deliveries for the rest of my life, living off takeout in this gym with Alyssa, who's sacrificed everything. Hell, if I let that happen.

"C'mon, what's on your mind, O'Connor?" Hayden asks. "You worried about Alyssa?"

I circle him again. While Hayden knows she's been staying in the office – he's the one who offered it – he doesn't know much else. "She shouldn't have to stay in that office."

His face falls. "Is the heating on the fritz again?"

"It's not that." I sigh and rub my head with my glove like it'll stave off the headache. "I just mean she should be at her own house. She shouldn't be arguing with her parents and living off takeout." I feel myself getting angrier by the second. "Her life has been turned upside and for what? For me?" It's a raw deal if I ever heard one.

"She's a big girl," Hayden says. "If it wasn't what she wanted, she wouldn't do it. I mean, have you talked to her about it?"

I shake my head. He doesn't know her like I do: Alyssa sees the best in people, in situations, and to her, as long as we're together, everything is fine. But I'm not like that. Or I don't know how to be, because when I look to the future, all I see is the worst.

"She says it's fine, but how long do you think things can last like this?" I ask, blocking his hit. "She's living in a freezing office, her parents have cut her off financially, and she's forced to eat Ramen every night because that's all I can afford with my extra delivery shifts."

He doesn't say anything for a while as he dodges my hits, but I can see his mind turning, trying to come up with some kind of solution and not being able to. "Look," he says at last, "I can't help you with your relationship, but I can help you win your fight. You just need to make sure you don't get sidetracked."

Right on cue, Alyssa walks into the gym wearing leggings and my hoodie. Her skin looks pale underneath the fluorescent lights, and her eyes are lightly bruised with dark shadows. I run a hand down my jaw before looking away. She'll tell me until she's blue in the face that everything's okay, but I know when it's not, and what's worse is there's nothing I can do about it.

She blows me a kiss and makes her way to a heavy bag. It's not just my big debut coming up but hers. She's been training every evening with Maddie, determined to channel her pain into boxing, but I'm not sure it's working – it never has for me. I turn back to Hayden and attempt to regain focus, but it's hard when she's in the vicinity.

I manage a couple more rounds before distraction takes on a whole new level. Hayden sighs and nods to Alyssa, who's just finished her set on the heavy bag. "We're practically done here. Just go over there, man. I can't take you giving each other moon eyes anymore."

Grinning, I rip off my gloves, barely able to keep my eyes open as I slip through the rope. When Alyssa sees my training is over, she smiles and runs toward me before throwing her arms around my neck. I hug her back, breathing in her rose perfume and wondering how the hell anyone can smell so good.

"Did you miss me?" Her voice comes out soft, and just like that, I'm putty in her hands.

"You already know the answer to that."

Her lips curl into that secretive smile that drives me insane. "You ready to spar with me?"

I glance at the ring as Hayden packs up his things and heads out. If this were anyone else, I'd have told them I'd rather be hit by a truck than step back in that ring, but the way she stares at me with those big doe eyes has me whipped.

After putting on our gloves, we step into the ring before facing each other. As ready as I am to collapse on this canvas, sparring with Alyssa is a hell of a lot more appealing than sparring with Hayden. "How was your day?" I ask. "You spoken to your parents at all?"

She nods and lifts her hands before peeking through her gloves. "Only to tell them I'm staying at friends and that I'm ready to talk when they're ready to accept you."

I flinch as she makes her first move, not because of her hit, which misses, but that I'm what's standing between their reconciliation. "Whatever you decide, don't let it be about me, Goldilocks."

"Are we talking or sparring?" she teases.

I smile and give her helmet a tap that makes her stumble back. Her eyes flit to mine, filled with that same fearlessness I've since grown accustomed to. "You're going to pay for that," she says.

"Yeah?" I dance around her, dodging her next few hits. "When?"

The determination on her face is adorable. She sidesteps to the left and drops her shoulder, so I prepare for her right hook, but she swerves last second and leads with her right hand, catching my jaw.

"You were saying?" she says sweetly.

Despite the fact my jaw hurts like hell, I grin. She continues to keep her hands high as we circle one another. The difference in her technique is subtle, but it's there. She fights with a confidence she'd lacked a week ago, and now when she looks at me, it's not with an air of uncertainty but power.

"So, how're things with Kino?" she asks.

I shrug because there's nothing to report. We act like nothing happened in front of Mom, but the second we're alone, he doesn't want to talk. I don't push the issue, I figure he needs space, but I'll admit, it's hard as hell.

"Better than they have been, not as good as they were," I say, which just about sums it up.

Her eyes soften, and she frowns like she thinks it's all her fault, but it's not. It's mine. Deciding I've had enough, I take my gloves off and grab her by her waist, drawing her closer.

She looks up at me, eyes bright with affection, and says, "Cheater."

I laugh and tuck a strand of her hair back, searching her face like I'm committing it to memory. "Alyssa, I will do anything you want right now so long as it's not sparring."

She thinks for a moment, looking contemplative. "Okay, let's go and get milkshakes."

"You mean at the place that charges ten dollars for a little milk and ice cream?"

She laughs and rips off her gloves before placing her hands on my waist. "Or I could continue to beat you up some more."

"All right, all right. You drive a hard bargain, you know that?" I grab her hand and lead her through the ropes before putting on my jacket. She does the same, and together, we step out onto the street and head toward my car.

"Can I choose which song?" she asks as she slips into the passenger seat.

I look over, holding off on starting the engine. "Are you gonna choose Tupac?"

"Obviously."

I grin. "All right."

I reverse as she scrolls through my playlist and head toward the milkshake bar. The last thing I feel like doing right now is heading to The Palisades, but if it gets her out of that office and back into society, it's worth it. As I make the next turn, Me Against the World comes on through my speakers, and I smile – it's one of my favorites.

Glancing over, I see the lyrics on her phone and wince. "You're not going to rap, are you?"

"No," she says, but as soon as that first line hits, she's rapping out of time with the music. I can't even be mad that she butchers every one of my Tupac songs, and if that's not love, I don't know what is.