《QQQQ》Chapter 43 - Prelude #3

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“Okay, I think we’re finally stable.”

The four of us had sat around my dining room table. Biologist had called for an important meeting. I thought she just found a cool rock or something, but apparently it was actually a real meeting.

“There is one chromatic beast we are unaware of right now. Other than that, the ones left alive are me, the purple squishy thing, and this gun.”

Our eyes all turned to the blue gun in the middle of the table, then squirmed a bit. Why was that here? I didn’t even notice her putting it there.

“Hey, uhhh, Bio, can we put that somewhere else?”

“Why?”

“It’s kinda like… You know, a gun that’s made to kill me specifically?”

“Yes.”

I guess that wasn’t enough for her to figure out why I’m uncomfortable. She’s a biologist, she should know living things have a strong desire for self-preservation.

Oh.

I guess I have a will to live now. It’s been a while!

Rose began to inquisitively reach for the gun, but Bunny swiped it out from under her hand without even making a noise. Her agility was still unmatched by any of us. Instead of inspecting it and admiring its horribly artificial-looking color, she quietly holstered it into a pocket of her dirty jeans. Women’s pants in that style usually don’t have pockets, she’s probably been wearing men’s. She brushed a strand of silvery blue hair out of her face and looked at me, wearing less expression on her face than a blank post-it note. I was deeply, deeply glad to have my friend back. She had been missing in a sea of her own clones, but even before that, I was somewhat responsible for her almost getting electrocuted to death. I wonder if I’ve been anything but trouble for her. Now that I have recovered my will to live, I’d like to make sure she still has hers, too.

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I don’t think I ever felt like this towards Rose. She was always a “buddy”, a “pal”. We talked shit about each other and sent each other obscure trivia about whatever we were unhealthily interested in at the moment—but I never felt like she needed my help. There was nothing I could help her with, and nothing she could help me with. We were like two different polygons that shared an edge. Not isolated, but only close enough to have a small bit of camaraderie where our points met.

Bunny feels different. She’s not quite the same polygonal shape as me—but close enough that our meshes would overlap nicely. Rose and I bicker constantly while we’re around each other (though sometimes just out of boredom). Nights with Bunny are so quiet and peaceful. One time, when I was watching an anime, a character mentioned the Japanese Folklore concept that the moon is inhabited by rabbits. Late that night, I caught her staring out the window, up into the light-polluted sky. I think she was homesick.

I can sense a deep loneliness within her. Her face is as stoic as a straight line, sure, but I can see it deep behind her eyes. She’s scared and confused. How could she not be? She’s a human rabbit. She hasn’t got the first clue about living in a complex society, and yet so much is being expected of her just to exist. I want to help her. To slowly teach her that, despite the general air of dystopian Capitalist decline, there are still so many small joys to be found every day. I want to show her the little candy shop a few towns over, where the elderly couple who owns it talks to everyone in the store. I want to show her the little tree growing in the park. I want to let her feel what it’s like to be buried under blankets in the ice-cold dead of winter, wrapped in the arms of someone you trust more than life itself.

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I felt my gaze soften, having made eye contact with her. I swear, just for a moment, I saw her demeanor break—that she was feeling something she didn’t know how to rationalize. If no one else was here, I’d probably hug her. I don’t care if she loves me. I don’t care if she loves anything else at all—just herself is enough.

I steeled my resolve, and made a promise that I would say to her these things that I wanted to keep bottled up to myself, in hopes that we can live our lives together.

And then that bitch pulled the gun out of her pocket and fucking shot me!

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