《Condemned (Old)》[Vol. 1; Chapter 10.2] - Farewell Dreams

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[Part 1]

Five minutes later, the platform slows to a halt. They hop off and make their way up the hill to the base of the Soul Tree, where a sculpture of Ludwig, clad in knightly armor with his hands resting on a sword stabbed between his feet, stands guard at the front gate. A deep purplish-blue outlines its figure. Leor looks down at his chest; it feels like electricity passed through his heart as they walk past the sentry.

Another altar sits by the stump, but this one is well kept compared to the one on the platform, with roots coiling around the base and a blanket of white calla lilies and iris flowers on the bedding. A warm, ambient glow shines upon the altar, and droves of Soul Fairies gather as attendees.

Without being told, Leor places Ceri onto the altar with Soul Fairies trailing close behind as he walks by. He lifts his coat to reveal her cold, pale skin underneath the warm glow.

Looking at her motionless body, reality sinks into his chest. He stares at her lips and can almost hear her voice calling his name in the tone of a wife nagging her husband to stop drinking so much. Goosebumps pop up around the underside of his chin from a ghost’s lingering touch. Her sun-bleached locks remind him of the night they shared. Though he cannot remember it clearly, his heart dances to the same rhythm when he tries to.

Maria breaks the collective silence with her prayers. She whispers into her clasped hands. Meanwhile, Yui pulls out three incense sticks and ignites them with her Phoenix. She bows three times and plants the incense into a bowl of ash that sits on the edge of the stone altar. Once they finish their ritual, they bow once more before heading back to the platform without uttering a word.

Alden and Leor stand in silence as they gaze down at Ceri. The air squeezes his windpipe. The sense of failure yanks his already heavy heart deeper into the pit of acid boiling in his stomach.

“You know, you don’t need to feel bad, Leor.” breaks Alden. “It’s not your fault… I know you tried your best to save her.”

Though he may not have meant anything by it, the words hit Leor in the gut. Alden says to not feel bad, but how can he not? He was tasked to keep her safe, and he failed. In the back of his mind, he knows that he didn’t “try his best”. If only he used the bladed edge of his swords, if only he told her to head back to the church, if only you weren’t so weak, you could’ve killed him and saved her. The same blood-hungry voice creeps out from the depths of his psyche. He grinds his teeth shut to hide the electrifying anger coursing through his veins. As much as it pains him to admit it, his inner voice is right. All of his hesitations caused them too much trouble and ended up getting Ceri killed.

“May the Gods give her a second chance soon. Perhaps we can ….” mutters Alden.

“Enough!” barks Leor, cutting through the quiet air with his sharp tongue. The surrounding Soul Fairies disperse in fear. “Enough of your Gods! You still beg them for forgiveness when they are the ones who caused this!? How can you still be on their side!? All they do is wage pointless wars. They share their powers with those who abuse them. And they do nothing to save those who are caught in between! How can they let someone like her die by their powers!?” He slams his fist against his chest. “The Gods have too much power. Someone needs to take them down, and if it needs to be me, then I will. ”

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Alden’s words disappear. It’s not the first time he’s heard such words, but the conviction in his voice cuts deeper than those who muttered them before. They ring through his ears like thunder. For a split second, the light from the Soul Tree flickers but when he blinks, the light is as static as ever. He wonders if it was just his imagination.

“Leor… I know what you’re going through. I am no stranger to loss either, but saying such things in a divine realm is…. Distasteful. Miss Ceri was like a daughter to me… Her loss is painful for me too, but the Gods can — ”

Leor’s eye twitches. “You don’t get it! I knew her before. This… this happened before! And I let it happen again, in front of me. I was powerless to stop it then and I was powerless to stop it now!”

Alden tilts his head in confusion. “I’m not sure what you mean. What do you mean you knew her before? Before me? I thought this quest was the first time you’ve met.”

Leor’s words play in his mind again and it confuses him more. He’s not sure of what he meant himself, but a strong sense of deja vu lingers when Ceri crosses his mind. “Argh! I don’t know. Just — leave me be. I wish to be alone…”

Alden nods. He thinks it’s best for Leor to cool off alone, but before he walks off, he reaches for Ceri’s necklace. It pains him to do so, but he cannot leave Ludwig’s ring in this place. His hand is met with nothing but skin. His heart stops.

// Oh shit! Where is it!? //

A gold flash peers from the corner of his eyes. Ludwig’s lightning bolt stares back at him from Leor’s finger. His eyelids stretch as far back as they could.

// Why does he have the ring? Does he know what it is? Did Ceri give him it before she passed? //

Many questions race through his mind, but as he continues to stare at it on Leor’s fist, the more he feels at ease. Something about it feels “right”, like finding the final piece of a long-forgotten puzzle. “Now is not the time,” he thinks before making his way to Maria and Yui.

The two are alone once again. This time, there are no bedsheets between them. No idle chat as they look at each other’s naked bodies. No smiles linger on either lips. It’s just them, the living gazing down at the dead, and the hushed hum of the eternal domain.

//How can the world be so cruel? How can they let this happen? How could I let this happen? //

Guilt drags Leor to his knees. He sighs deeply and sits down with arms over his knees and his back against the altar. The light dawns on him, making his eyes droop low. He buries his chin into his knees and whispers low enough so no one wouldn’t hear him, but hopes that his words would somehow reach her.

“Ceri…. I’m sorry… I should’ve told you no. It’s all my fault. I’m sorry that I couldn’t keep my word about our date and I’m sorry for my weakness. I couldn’t protect you… I-I’m sorry.”

A single droplet falls from his chin and waters the grass between his legs. He tightens the grip on himself and his clenched jaw. He thinks back to his parents and a hot ball rises from his stomach up his throat.

“I’m sorry that you met me. If it weren’t for me, you’d still be alive.”

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Ceri’s voice echoes from the corner of his mind. “Don’t apologize! I don’t regret meeting you.”

Or at least, that’s what he imagines her response being. Despite her objections, only the words “I’m sorry” come to mind. Her fabricated words cause tears to roll down his cheeks faster; The basking light shines harshly on him. With each blink, Leor finds it more difficult to keep his eyes open. He fights the urge to sleep, thinking that it would be a waste to spend his last moments with her in a slumber, but the light seemingly seeps into his skin, proving to be too intoxicating. Leor allows the cozy light to drift him away.

[Part 2]

Beep. Beep! BEEP!

Leor squints his eyes open to search for the pestering sound that pricks at his eardrums, the number 444 flashes before him but it disappears along with the sound as soon as he hones in on it. Once again, he finds himself in the middle of a dream.

// Great. Another one. What’ll it be this time? //

He looks around with his arms crossed at the sea of nothingness and the light at the end of the tunnel. A woman’s voice calls him to the light, but his body calls for sleep. Deciding to listen to his body, he lays back on the ground and shuts his eyes.

“Hey — did you not hear me call you forth?”

The woman speaks directly into his head, but Leor pretends to not notice and continues to lay on the black floor.

“You know I can tell you’re not actually sleeping, right? I’m literally inside your head.”

Leor flares his nostrils and plugs his ears with his fingers. He knows it's pointless, but he hopes the gesture would get whoever it is to stop talking.

“Why you little — !”

The snap of fingers echoes through the empty space and the solid floor beneath him vanishes. Leor’s eyes dart open as he free falls into the abyss. The golden light he ignored opens its gaping mouth, waiting for his arrival.

// She flipped the floor on its side!? //

Leor is engulfed by the light and lands flat on green shrubbery. Even in his dream, the pain burns onto his stomach. He rises to his feet and peeks at his new environment. A large tree with pink leaves sits atop the hill and a gentle breeze carries sakura petals and purple strands through the air. A woman with tied-up violet hair, dressed in a black dress that hugs her upper torso but flows around her legs, stands underneath the tree with a black parasol overhead and her arms across her chest. Her brass-colored eyes glare at Leor as he drags his feet up the hill.

“So glad you can join me” smiles the woman.

“It’s not like I wanted to”, retorts Leor. “What do you want? Let’s get on with it. I want to sleep.”

“My dear, Leor, you need to learn to respect your elders.” A threatening tone hides behind her still smile.

“Elder? You? You barely look any older than me.”

The woman turns her flushed cheek. “Oh, my. You sure know your way with words.

“...”

She clears her throat and paces back and forth. “Well, are you going to ask me anything? Aren’t you curious?”

“If I ask, will you hurry it up?”

“Tch. You’re no fun. Let’s start with this: who do you think I am?”

Wanting to get it over with, Leor closely examines her face. He’s seen it somewhere but where? He observes the strange meeting, her familiar voice, the umbrella… then it hits him. She resembles one of the statues from the church. Enraged, he launches at her and grabs her collar, but his hand phases through her.

She peers at him with a smirk. “I guess you’ve figured it out.” Her body melts into her shadow, then she emerges from his. “No need to get feisty. We have plenty of time for that, but for now, question two. Why do you think I am here? In your dreams?”

“I don’t care. I have nothing to say to you false Gods.” snaps Leor. He turns heel and walks away, knowing that there’s no point in trying to fight a formless image in his mind.

“Now, now. Don’t be like that.” She snaps her fingers and the world flips around and Leor stands before the woman once again. “Perhaps we got on the wrong foot. Allow me to introduce myself. I am one of the Goddesses who rule these lands. The Dark Empress, Eleena. And I congratulate you on starting the first trial.”

Leor pinches the wedge between his eyes and sighs. “What are you talking about? What trial?”

“And here I thought you would have figured it out by now”, giggles Eleena. “I’ve been trying to contact you, but I guess it took you a while to hear my voice.”

She snaps her fingers and seven petals fly towards her and float above her palm like fireflies. Different colored lights shine from each one: Yellow, Black, Silver, Green, Red, Blue, and Purple.

“Lord Ludwig is hosting a series of challenges to find a champion worthy enough to join the ranks of the Gods. Each God has chosen their own champions to participate and you are one of my champions.” A purple hue radiates from Leor’s ring as Eleena points at it. “Each God has a hand-crafted artifact that has a portion of their power sealed within it. If an artifact is found, the contestant will move on to the second phase of the first trial. And the ring around your finger is your ticket.”

Leor gazes at Ceri’s ring. The fact that the ring is part of some game irritates him. “I refuse to partake in any trials that the God’s have set up. I will not be a pawn in your games.”

She motions her hand up and a shadow rises from her own in the form of Ceri. “Even if you could bring her back?”

His ears twitch up and he holds his clenched fists against his thighs. Her words tear down his walls and his attention is fully captured. He knows it’s bait but the temptation of possibilities overwhelms his reasoning. It can’t hurt to hear her out.

“W-what do you mean?”

“So now I have your attention?” The corner of her lips curls up. “I meant what I said. If you want to bring her back, you can. Only if you complete the trials.”

“Bullshit. How can I trust your word?”

“Fair point,” laughs Eleena. “Those who complete the trials and win the favor of the Gods will be granted anything their heart desires. You may believe what you wish, but regardless of what you choose to believe, you are already in the trials whether you like it or not. Others will come for the ring and if you do not wish to forfeit it and your life, I suggest you answer the call to arms.”

“Why…. why choose me? ”

A third voice cuts in and whispers from above. “Leor…”

“I know it’s a lot to take in, but my time is up.” She turns around and heads towards the tree with the shadow of Ceri limping behind. “The first trial will conclude in Lightendale within three days’ time. Once you get there, you simply need to hold onto the ring. You have until then to decide.” She looks over her shoulder. “I’ll answer more questions after the completion of the first trial. Until then, I’ll leave you with this. Will you continue to let the people around you die because of your indecisiveness? Or will you finally take matters into your own hands?” She shrugs her shoulders. “Prove to me that I made the right decision.”

Leor stands in silence as he watches them walk away. It is indeed a lot for him to take in. The realm of the Gods is something he wants no part in. He’d rather die than take part in their game, but the possibility of bringing her back weighs heavy on his mind.

“Oh, and one more thing, those who are not a part of the trials cannot know about it. Since you can’t tell who’s a participant, I suggest not mentioning it to anyone.” She winks at Leor and snaps her fingers. Everything collapses into darkness and Leor falls back into the void.

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