Path of Order

Rise of Autumn, Week 2, Day 1

I woke up slowly. There was no confusion in my mind about where I awoke or what it meant. My eyes were sore and my throat was hoarse, after all, but I was still here. Still in Maeve. Still in this unfamiliar yet familiar room. Who had been crying last night? Was it ____ mourning those ____ left behind for this world? Or was it Eunora, whose family only acknowledged her when she was within eyesight? I couldn’t tell who was hurting, or if they were even separate at all. The adult I was tells me that not all families are perfect, but the child I am feels pain wracking through her. The child I am tells me that death is small, but the adult I had been screams that I could never understand her pain. Something was lost from both sides of my soul. And now I simply feel weary and confused about who I am meant to be.

The dreams from the night before were no simple thing. They were intense and felt akin to a nightmare. They were memories. They were memories from last year; memories from Rise, the first month of spring. The lunar year was halfway through, and Eunora had just turned seven. The Dawn family was having a tea party, though the seats for the Count and Countess sat empty. The memory focused on the shadows that seemed to edge Eunora’s vision, her desire to scream and cry and beg her siblings to see her. To hear her. To show she existed. None of them did. Theo and Raphael sparred with sticks. Eve mesmerized Leonard and Leah with a [Skill] —the one she received as a Boon on her Awakening. The five of them gave a cursory hello and then left the seats next to Eunora empty. The remainder of Rise was a mix of the same. Except for once, when Eunora went to her reading lessons with Lina and upon returning to her room found the door sealed. Eve had bound it with magic and forced her to sleep in the hall —stating those without talent should lay like a dog on the carpet. The Dawns had no need of someone who did not know her place. Eunora cried herself to sleep until, upon waking in the early morning hours, she found the spell had worn off. Then she curled into her bed and refused to leave her room until after dinner the following day. No one came then, either.

Now, I was looking outside the far window to watch as the yellow sun had risen while the red sun still lingered on the horizon, painting the world in its crimson hues. It was a beautiful sight that forced a sense of dread into my gut, so I pulled my blanket over my head and tried to go back to sleep. It was too early for such tragically peaceful sights.

Instincts and memories pushed themselves to the forefront of my mind before I could cocoon myself back into bed. I felt the sense of excitement at the [System] and the dreams about what my status would look like. No—Eunora’s dreams. I blinked. Ah, right. Taking a deep breath I thought to myself: [Status].

[Status Summary]

[Name: Eunora Dawn]

[Race: Human]

[Age: 8]

[Unallocated Stat Points: 0]

[Vitality: 7 Endurance: 4]

[Strength: 6 Dexterity: 8]

[Perception: 9 Magic: 4]

[Luck: 45 Divinity: 82]

[0th Tier Class: Child of the Gods, Max Level]

[Boon: Not Selected]

[1st Tier Class: Not Selected, 0 Level]

[Skills:

0th Tier:

1st Tier: Quick Calculation Lv. 1

2nd Tier: Otherworldly Lv. 1, Mental Fortitude Lv. 1,

Untiered: Tight Lips Lv. 1, Steal Nerves Lv. 1, Sophism Lv. 1

[Congratulations! You have opened your Status Summary for the first time! You have unlocked a Boon from the System. You’ve acquired the skill: Inspect.]

[System Notice: As a first time System User, Inspect will be automatically activated for the following items: Vitality, Endurance, Strength, Dexterity, Perception, Magic, Luck, and Divinity.]

[Vitality: Often known as one’s life blood, the Gods decreed “Be Well. Live Long. Thrive.” upon bestowing the value to mortals. The main effects of Vitality are enhanced general health, enhanced recovery, and reduced aging speed past adolescence.]

[Endurance: Often known as one’s physical will, the Gods decreed “Continue to Charge. Stand Firm. Endure.” upon bestowing the value to mortals. The main effects of Endurance are enhanced stamina, enhanced stamina regeneration, and the increased chance to withstand catastrophic injuries.]

[Strength: Often known as one’s capacity for force, the Gods decreed “Enforce. Destroy. Dominate.” upon bestowing the value to mortals. The main effects of Strength are enhanced battle acuity and optimized muscle growth.]

[Dexterity: Often known as one’s ability to maneuver, the Gods decreed “Be Nimble. Be Graceful. Avoid All.” upon bestowing the value to mortals. The main effects of Dexterity include enhanced agility, enhanced fine motor control, and enhanced speed.]

[Perception: Often known as one’s ability to absorb information, the Gods decreed “See All. Hear All. Understand all.” upon bestowing the value to mortals. The main effects of Perception include enhanced attention to detail, enhanced reaction speed, and enhanced mental processing.]

[Magic: The Gods decreed “Bear Your Will, Show Your Intent. Bend Nature As You Please.” upon bestowing the value to mortals. Unlike the five physical attributes, Magic is built off the soul. The main effects of Magic included mana control and mana sight.]

[Luck: The Gods decreed “Good Luck.” upon bestowing the value to mortals. Unlike the five physical attributes, Luck is built off the soul. It is believed the effects of Luck include enhanced probability sense and higher order deduction skills.]

[Divinity: The Gods decreed “Rend the Earth. Steam the Seas. Contort the Very World.” upon bestowing the value to mortals. Unlike the five physical attributes, Divinity is built off the soul. The effects of Divinity depend on the Gods whose will the user embodies, as well as the Will and Intent of the user.]

[Notice: Due to your Divinity level, you are capable of viewing three messages that await you. Would you like to accept them?]

I took a moment to process the sheer volume of information before taking a breath.

“Yes.”

[Acceptance recognized. Messages being pulled for display.]

[Message 1]

[Welcome, Otherworlder! You have awoken on the planet of Gargantua as a noble child within the Kingdom of Maeve. As a precautionary measure, the Gods who brought you here bestowed both boons and restrictions. Use them as best you can. The Gods hope to see both your successes and your failures.

Congratulations! All abilities from your previous world have carried forward! The [System] will integrate them as your experience from your past life is applied.

May your Eternal Star burn Bright.]

[Message 2]

[Otherworlder,

I have taken parts of your past to help you integrate into this world. Have no fear, they will be returned upon completion of your purpose.

It is recommended that you integrate the memories of your body and continue on her path.

Lord of Order,

Brel]

[Message 3]

[Otherworlder,

Cast off your chains and forge your own path. Whatever Chaos you bring, I will be watching —so make it good.

Lord of Chaos,

Grel]

I frowned as I read the messages. From Gods. And one that sounded suspiciously similar to the [System] itself. I chewed on the inside of my cheek, anxiety snaking through my chest.

Gods brought me here. And they want very different things.

I let out a steadying breath. This was a new problem; something I hadn’t even considered possible until the stream of skills the day before. Brel and Grel. Order and Chaos. Two sides of a single coin. And neither seem benevolent. They forced me here, after all.

A purpose. I hunched forward, holding my head in my hands, the meaning sinking in. If I want my old name then I need to fulfill a purpose.

Brel says stay the path —Grel says forge my own.

I would have thought I would be crying again at the overwhelming thought. But instead, it was as if I was broken. No feelings came. Not indignation at being ripped from my perfectly fine life, not grief at losing everyone I loved, not excitement for gods or swords or sorcery. Exhaustion filled me and I laid back down into the bed, another notification filling my mind with a deep green screen.

[System Notice: As a first time System User, Inspect will be automatically activated for all newly acquired skills from the past 24 hours.]

I tried to care about them, to think through what the system had given me, but as the wall of blurbs filled my vision I was unable to summon the excitement of the past Eunora. I settled for simply straightening up.

[Otherworldly: After being ripped from your previous plane, your presence here is a rare occurrence —though not unheard of. As an Otherworlder blessed with Divinity, your presence will not go unnoticed. The first to be served, the last to be reprimanded, and the one chosen for destined encounters. Through this Skill, your Aura is passively expanded. With additional Mana infusion, this skill can define your presence further. Range increases per level. Definition increases per level.]

What does it mean to be defined? I thought to myself, as I internally cringed. A social skill is the opposite of what I wanted. Not that I wanted anything at all. In fact, had the [System] not already pulled the rest of the [Skills] I might have simply stared out from the window —taking in the view of the dual suns as they rose above the horizon.

Instead, I read through the rest. Trying not to sigh at the Divine related [Skills].

[Mental Fortitude: You have had your mind shaken to its very core. By being exposed to such traumatic mental attacks for a lengthy period, you gained the ability to partially nullify mental instability passively. In times of immense distress, this skill is capable of enacting treatment and coping mechanisms in order to restore stability. Total effect is increased per level. Evolved treatment and coping mechanisms learned with each level.]

[Quick Calculation: Your base knowledge of arithmetic has allowed you to surpass a majority of the world. When you are solving anything related to a mathematics formula, you will be exponentially faster. Speed is increased per level. Complexity of formulas able to solve is increased per level.]

[Tight Lips: You have uncovered knowledge forbidden by the Gods of this world. Should you try to share this knowledge, the Gods will become aware of your attempts to undermine them. Whenever you are questioned about forbidden knowledge, a signal will be sent to your mind as a warning. Should the warning be ignored and information still be attempted to be shared, a strike will be recorded. After every third strike there will begin a purge of otherworldly knowledge that you attempted to or successfully shared and a relevant God or Goddess will review the purged information to determine validity. Increased purge precision per level. Increased pain per level. This is a restriction skill.]

[Steal Nerves: You have attracted the attention of the God of Chaos, Grel. For his entertainment, Grel has gifted you with the ability to thrive on chaos. Whenever you are in an unsatisfactory situation and you are plagued with anxiety and self-doubt, you may siphon confidence from the party you are up against. Grel often uses this when someone confronts him over his many, many pranks. Total effectiveness is increased per level. This Skill cannot be used on inanimate objects. This Skill is dependent on your Divinity attribute being above 0.]

Instinct told me this was a dangerous skill. So dangerous, I decided to simply ignore it.

It most definitely did not matter that for some reason Grel had made the Skill name a pun. Or that it did not specify what siphoning confidence did to the subject. I pointedly did not linger on the unbidden thought that mind magic is rare and dangerous —and hated.

[Sophism: You have attracted the attention of the God of Order, Brel. In order to help guide you to the proper path, Brel has gifted you the ability to see Paths to Order and Chaos. Whenever you are making a decision, your perception of time will slow but your processing speed will not. The skill will help your rationalization of events and will occasional give you direction on which is the Path of Order and which is the Path of Chaos. This skill is directly affected by your Perception stat. One second can be slowed by a factor of 5 for every 1 Perception. The effectiveness is increased per level.]

I knew this Skill was a trap. It screamed it from the rooftop. Choose the Path of Order enough and I will do as Brel wanted —live as the ghost of a Eunora long gone. Choose the Path of Chaos enough and who knows what could happen. The [System] had not said Grel was an Evil God —or that Brel was Good— but Chaos does not strike comfort in one’s heart. This was already proving to be an exercise in futility —fighting the will of the Gods. Perhaps, if I only pick the middling options each time then they will leave me alone. The [System] had already implicitly confirmed I would not be going home, after all.

Phrases such as previous life and new world were not hopeful terms.

I dismissed the boxes and fell back onto the bed. All I wanted was for sleep to reclaim me, but it did no such thing.

Instead, the numbness that had sunk into me began to fester into something darker. A resentment of my circumstances.

In elsewhere, I had been subjected to tragedies —no one goes through life without a major misfortune or three— but this was incomparable. While those had never been so devastating, in no small part due to the support from friends and family, I had still never felt defeated by a tragedy. Not like this.

Ripped from my life by the whims of two gods. One who wanted me to submit and continue on like a ghost, and one who wanted me to take the path of most resistance, to change the very world I now found myself in.

[System Notice: Class selection unlocked. Due to memory integration, Class selection is recommended to be withheld until Stage 3 is finished in approximately 35 days 15 hours 08 minutes and 23 seconds.]

As I stared past the green notice and focused on the dainty lights that decorated the ceiling, I couldn’t help the chill that settled into my bones.

I didn’t want to make a decision about classes. Not when I knew about it without ever remembering learning. Instinct is a horrible feeling when it comes from a dead soul within me.

I spent the day alternating between staring at the ceiling, listless, and staring out at the garden from the window, irritated. It wasn’t until the sky started to darken that a knock on the door resounded.

I stood up and glanced at the mirror propped up. I was in the same white nightgown with pale purple embroidery that reached my knees, my skin was fresh in the way children never had to worry about acne, and my hair was wild. The black curls shot in every direction. The knock came again.

This time, the door shook but did not open. I had, after all, locked it yesterday.

“My Lady, I have brought dinner.”

I decided to open the door, but before I could say anything the woman had strode past me —her nose wrinkled when she glanced my way— and set down a silver tray with two covered plates, an empty tea cup, and a teapot.

I felt an ache deep inside of me, as if Eunora was weeping. And I felt rage bubble under my skin. Rage at these feelings I couldn’t control. That were plaguing me against my will. These childish whims and thoughts and reactions.

I watched the woman whose name I knew but did not know —and thus refused to think about— as she deftly set up my meal. Within a minute, silver was laid out and the covers were removed from the plates to reveal a salad made with aquamarine leaves —waterlily screamed in my head— and a dish of some potato-like substance with red meat. Gingerly, the woman poured a cup of tea —rose tea, my favorite. I shuddered.

“Leave.”

It was all that would leave my mouth as I stared at the dinner in grim horror. Favorite. I hated it. The very thought that my tastes had changed to meet this body's likes and dislikes. I wanted to scream.

The woman was gone within moments, the purple and white fabric of her maids uniform rustling with the speed.

I sat, staring at the food, for several minutes.

People and plants and animals I had never heard of granting me their names unbidden. Simply popping into existence. Meanwhile my own name was lost to me. I was not hungry —not in the way I should have been. It had been two days without food. I should be starved. But my mouth was dry, and, though I could feel the ache of hunger, I did not want to eat. The thought of consuming anything filled me with waves of nausea.

But I was not the type to waste away. Not like this. Not without understanding.

So, I ate.

I hated every bite.