A/n: Hi loves! I hope everything is good with you all. I'm going to tell you a story that's completely honest. So please don't judge me. So first I wanted to ask if you know anyone that can help. I'm serious when I'm thinking about ending my life every day. I just have not the energy to keep fighting. I had fight my whole life. When is it stopping? Is it ever going to stop? Or I'm I someone that will do it until I die? I don't know what to do anymore nothing is helping. Soon school starts again. And I don't know how I'm going to make it. People tell me I'm a lot stronger then I think. However I asked my friend: do you think people would live my life. Do you know what she told me. She said "I don't think anyone would make to live your life." She meant that people would probably kill then self. And not want to live my life. I seriously don't know why I'm still here I this was happening when I was 14. I think I would just kill my self. I don't want to die but I don't want to live my life. Is like when people ask me. "How long do you want to live?" I'm like until I'm 20, and they are like no. They don't think I'm serious but I'm. I don't even know how I can even have energy enough to live until I'm 20. That's like 1 year and 10 months until I'm 20. How will I ever make that work I don't know. And I'm so so sorry but I think I will quit writing this story for now. I will probably don't post anything in a while. I love you all and really appreciate your comments but just for now I think I need a LONG BREAK. I will probably be gone for like 2 months or something. I hope you all understand! Once again I'm sorry but I don't know what to do anymore. If you want anyone to talk to. I will still be reading here since I need to read every single day. So I will try to answer comments I promise. One more thing I have so bad confidence that I hurt my self. Have you any advice on that? My doctor told me to look me in the mirror and say three things that I'm good at every day. It was too much I couldn't do it. Then they told me to say 2 things everyday. Surprise? It didn't work. Then they told me to just say one thing, do you know what? I couldn't even do that, I can't even say one good thing about my self. I really have to work with that. Because I push my self too hard. I don't know however this is not all why I have depression is more things but this is probably one of them. I wanted to thank you all so so much. Also this was very long. Please take care of your self and see you when I feel a bit better. Love you all and thanks again!! Lots of love and a temporary goodbye.

Lots of love G Xx.