The sky is more clear and the stars shine brighter in the countryside than in the city. I look up to Quinn who is gazing at me with a blank face. Convincing him we go for a walk was hard.

"Why did you choose to have the engagement here?" I ask what has been on my head and pluck at wheatgrass.

"This used to be my grandmother's ranch. My grandfather gave it to her after they divorced." He pauses and gives a small smile, "She loved it." I remain silent unsure where the conversation is heading to. His eyes are focused on the narrow path before us. The barn is disappearing out of sight. My legs burn with cold.

He continues, "She reared the largest herd of livestock and employed many workers. This town loved her generous heart." We stop and I look at what is before us. A stream of water, it is clear enough to see the pebbles beneath it. It flows silently. My eyes focus on what is beyond it. Many houses clustered together, the lights illuminating from them look like twinkling stars.

"I didn't see any livestock," I say though I did note that the barn had been remodified into a small office.

"Oh! There was a conflict between the farmers and the herders due to environmental changes. The farmers won. My grandmother is the inventor of the 4by4 dirt racing. It was aimed at saving the water catchment by tree planting."

I look around and that's when I notice the crowd of trees around the area.

"Such a hero," I comment.

He nods instead and silence stretches between us before he speaks.

"This is where I met Misha, it was the first time I saw a naked woman. I was only ten." He shuts his eyes momentarily. "She sang as she sponged her body. I was mad at my father after he shot my horse so I wanted to run away."

My voice comes out hoarse, "Why?" I ask.

"He said it was a distraction from being molded into his footsteps." He moves to a nearby tree and sits. I follow him. He pats at the space between his legs and does as instructed. Once settled his arms snake around my waist. My head hanging a few inches from his chin, my back against him, and my legs on the wet grasses.

"And?" I want him to continue talking, this is the most open he has been about his life and I want to hold on to every word and letter.

"When she saw me, she screamed and threw water to my face." His lips tug up in a reminiscing smile. "I loved her since then."

He's saying the L-word leaves my chest in pain.

"What happened to her?" I choke the words unsure if Quinn is ready to answer that. I have so many questions, I just don't know which to ask first.

"She realized who I was and stopped loving me." His tone raises.

"Who are you?" I ask.

He sighs and withdraws his arm from me, am tempted to snatch it back to its original place. "You never stop! Snooping, questioning. The only thing you will find is nothing but pain. So stop trying to figure me out. I am not fixable."

He stands, I remain seated and watch the water. I pick a branch frustrated and throw it into the water.

"Let me take you back to the main house." He offers.

I stand and silently follow him.

"To answer your initial question. I chose this place cause it is where I have been happiest and with the women I have loved." I look down at my feet even though he cannot see me in the dark.

"Misha and Courtney." I mentally conclude.

"Misha and my grandmother." He corrects me. Did I speak that out loud?

I don't know why but his confession brings me relief.

****

I wake up a few hours later. The sun is up. I find everyone seated around the dining table. Quinn's parents and Theo included.

I take the empty seat beside Theo. Mr. Nickel gives me a double look. I wait for him to talk, instead, he goes back to his meal uninterested.

"Good morning?" I say to Theo.

His eyes light up with the warmest smile. When his eyes find Mr.Nickel's, his smile immediately fades. I check around the table. Roxanna is seated with Jermaine. They are intimately too close, Lee is focused on his food, Courtney is drinking a smoothie. She sneers when our eyes lock. Ryan is staring back at me, I am still mad at him. Mrs. Nickel is playing with the food on her plate. She looks distracted. Gosh! What is wrong with this family. To add more to the tension Quinn joins us.

He pulls the seat beside me but Courtney speaks, "Come seat beside me." She suggests.

"Am fine here." He speaks.

"Go seat with your fiancée." His father roars.

Quinn gives him a dangerous glare, his eyes in slits and rebellious.

"Do as your father says, please." His mother begs.

He huffs and walks to Courtney's. He sits, he looks impatient and angered.

"I don't like when they fight," Theo whispers to me.

"Where were you last night?" Courtney asks attracting everyone's attention.

"In my room," Quinn answers bored.

"I came to your room. You weren't there." Courtney insists. She sends a glance in my direction and I smirk at her. I know she suspects he was with me and I don't care. After what she did to my face if I had my phone with me last night. I would have recorded Quinn and me and sent it to her as payback.

"I am here now, what did you need." He states but can tell he is getting angry.

"That is no way to talk to your future wife." His father drops the fork on the saucer.

"I will have a wife but not a future. You made sure to ruin that." Quinn bangs the table. Theo's little fingers wrap my wrist in fear.

Quinn stands and storms away.

"I will go talk to him," Ryan says before he goes after him.

"He will come around." Mrs. Nickel assures Courtney.

Courtney's face crises unconvinced, I can see the internal battle in her eyes. She pushes the seat and with a glance at me. She storms away. Lee follows calling out her name.

Mrs.Nickel asks her husband to talk to Quinn which he begrudgingly agrees. She leaves with Theo to prepare for the party. Am left at the table with Roxanna and Jermaine. They are too absorbed in each other to note the rest have left. Am having my tea when Roxanna stumble to the seat next to me. She places a glass of mango juice on the table that has an alcoholic smell. I pick it and sip. It has Vodka.

"Don't give me that look." She says when I give her a judgemental look and picks her glass and takes a big gulp of it. "Am sorry about yesterday. I shouldn't have been part of her evil plan." She slurs and I realize she is drunk in the morning.

I wave her off, "It's okay, my face has healed."

She giggles and turns to Jermaine who waves at me, uncomfortable. "We hooked up last night." She whispers to my ear.

I almost spit my tea. I am ready to give her my speech and remind her of Chad but she is already on her feet. "See you at the party." She leaves with Jermaine.

I remain seated, everyone around me seems to be either in love as my brother, stupid like my friend Roxanna and getting engaged like Quinn. What do I have? I am just losing everything and everyone.