There was once, a girl.

She lived through her life knowing nothing but strive, only her self-preservation. She only knows this as it is the only way she could survive in this modern world, as there are none behind that can catch her.

She lived like a lone wolf, focusing only on herself, only on the best interest of herself.

Life was colorless for her, as there’s only two things she always reminds to herself.

‘Me or Them.’

And she always chose ‘me’.

And she survived because of this, she survived in the concrete jungles of the metropolis because of this mindset. And she was rewarded too with this mindset.

Once an office lady that just takes bullshit after bullshit from her superior, to the one now dishing out that same bullshit to her subordinates. She knows this of course, knew the heavy irony of it, but she always kept that mantra, ‘Me or Them.’

And again, she survived and rewarded because of that. Nothing was in her way, no one dare to be in her way.

But then came a boy, he was new blood to the place she worked, but rugged enough to become one that can compete against her.

The mantra was screaming at her but he, the boy…. He sees a girl, no, a woman that know nothing but logic. He knows the impeded empathy, sympathy, kindness, that is inside her.

So, he melted her, he showed her how to be human.

It was… strange for her, to feel great for being a kind person, to be overjoyed over seizing the opportunity to be empathetic.

A flower bloom inside her and the stone pealed off from her heart.

She breathes in a new life inside of her.

She was in love.

She was living.

She was breathing.

But the boy, no, the man ignores a fundamental part of a troubled person. It is not they who changed them, who fixed them.

It is only they who can and will fix themselves.

Because of this he left, he realizes his hubris quick enough to not turn the lovely relationship they have to one of tragedy.

And the woman was of course left with a pierced heart.

It was right the move, yet it was also… the wrong move too. The woman seeks this same feeling, seeks in every man, every woman too even.

To be beloved, to be cared, to be alive knowing you have someone catching you if you fell.

And she failed every single one of it along the line, as they knew, they are not the repairer, they are only the supporter.

She began to despair, to curse at her life, to not loving it anymore. But reality soon came, introspection became a word for her, and she knows now why those relationship had an expiration date.

So, she improved, she started her journey of renewal with another man. Age not that far from her, personality different enough to give challenge to each other, and a mutual feeling of love to one another.

* * *

Ding… Dong…

A rustling could be heard from the door, it was soft and it was getting louder.

The sound revealed itself when the door was opened.

“So… how was your anniversary?” A lady, with a soft yet firm voice asked the person who pressed the bell.

“…” The person didn’t say anything, they were reserved, even frustrated.

“Ohh c’mon, it can’t be that bad? Right? Janet?”

“…” Janet still kept silent, went over to the lady and hugged her tightly. “I’M A FUCKIN IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“Girl… what did you do?”

“Everything was great Erin! It was so… great, we had wine, slow music, rosey air smell, moody lighting and just… EVERYTHING!”

“But?”

“I… got him too drunk…”

“You… what?” Erin said while holding her laugh with a huge grin. “So… did Owen like…”

“NO! He just fell asleep! Like….” Janet remembering the blunder, couldn’t take it anymore and went straight to the couch and grabbed the pillow. “AGHHHHHH!!!!!!!”

As Janet flail around in the couch, out of embarrassment and frustration, Erin could only shook in disappointment and made tiny laughs at the blunder her friend did.

“Well… there’s still new year’s eve!” Erin said while comforting Janet.

“Can’t… he’s with his family…” Janet said somberly.

“Ohh yeah....”

“What am I gonna do Rin… it’s been 3 years now…”

“Woahh, 3 years?! You waiting for your marriage night or something?”

“No, of course not! You know that I held myself, so…”

“So history won’t repeat itself, I know girl. But him keeping it on his pants for years? For months?!”

“I know… and I’m scared if he even sees me that way.”

“…” Erin went silent as that statement was the biggest bullshit she has ever heard. “I’m not even gonna say it, you already know and this is just your anxiety talking to you.”

“Then what should I do Rin!!! I…”

“Girl!” Erin went close and grabbed Janet by the cheeks. “Relax, he’s good a guy, he’s a keeper even! I mean 3 years!”

“Yeah…”

“So, relax, you’ll find your moment together!”

“I know… but…”

“He’s not going to leave Janet! I’ve seen enough from him and you that he’s not going to go up and leave, unlike James…”

“You’re right… You’re right!” Janet gained confidence.

“Good girl! Now get the hell out of my apartment, George’s gonna to that tongue thing again ehehehe…”

“…” Janet went silent and went straight to the door.

* * *

The moment was something that Janet still is finding, but it wasn’t hard, it was more confusing.

She knew that she can make it herself, like in her previous relationships, but she learned of how fake it was, how forced and artificial.

The fabricated moment she has made with her previous partners always create an air of weirdness, as the aftermath sheds the skin of the partners was loving, whom showed their true selves.

Due to this she learned quick enough that sex, lust, attraction, and all those that correlates with it, is special. It was not sacred of course, a foolish notion and gatekeeping she quickly learned, but it was still something special that will defines the relationship.

And with Owen, Janet wanted to keep it as long as it can, as special as it can when they finally do it.

But the plights and fear of her past, made her restless, made her second guess their relationship, as if she felt that their relationship was free floating, nothing was anchoring it.

I need to do something, he’s right there in front of me and this day is the only day I only have with him… Think Janet! Think!

Janet was fidgety in front of Owen, who was blissfully eating his lunch. She was thinking every possible way to seduce him, every possible way to get him on bed.

But nothing could ever defeat the pure unadulterated nature of being blunt.

“Let’s do it now!” Janet in excitement and a dash of embarrassment said.

“Do… what honey?” Owen could only be confused.

“Ehh… Ehh…” Janet scrambled around to find a good place to do it.

She looked at the kitchen.

No that’s gross.

She looked at the table.

The plates are vintage….

She looked at the couch.

Could work… but it’s going to be hard to clean….

She looked at the walls.

Would be hot… but it’s too tiring…

And of course, in the end, she looked at her bedroom.

Her face was more or less determined to do the deed, but Owen’s on the other hand was more confused with his girlfriends excited and slightly thirsty face.

“C’mon!” Janet went to Owen and grabbed his arm.

“Woahh…”

As Owen was being dragged by Janet, he was trying to process what she was going to do with him, but as soon as he saw her room, he stopped.

“Wha? Owen! C’mo-”

“Janet. Stop.” And Owen stopped her.

“But… but… we need to do it now! It’s been 3 years… please… we need to do this…” Janet begged.

As Owen sees the desperate face Janet was wearing, he knew right away knows that this was beyond simple curiosity or lust.

“Hon… come here.” Owen said as he changed position with Janet, by dragging her to the couch.

Janet seeing the serious nature of the situation, folded as she knows where this was going, she knows the impending eventual break up the two of them would have. But that’s just what she thinks.

“Janet… can you tell me what this really is about?” Owen fully knows what this is, but he asked her to make her confront the issue by talking about it.

“It’s…” She doesn’t want to talk about it, the embarrassment, the anxiety, all of it was piling up her mouth instead of the issue.

But it was cast away by a simple warm hand holding hers.

“I’m scared…

Everyday I wake up, I’m scared of being left alone… I used too not have a problem with it, being alone, as my life was just that… loneliness.

But then I met Greg, Bernard, Beatrice, Erin, Luciline, and then you… I met so, so, so many wonderful people.

I love my life every second of it because of meeting and still being with you all, but…”

“But?”

“A lot left… maybe because I got too clingy, maybe because they don’t like my neediness, and I realizes it of course! I realize the shitty behaviour I had back then…”

“So why do you have the need to sleep with me?”

“Because I feel like we’re floating… Back with them, I felt like we were anchored, there was something only us have done with each other… I know now of course that’s just an idiotic mirage, but… I still can’t help but to feel anchored if we just had sex…”

“…” Owen stayed silent, proud very much of his girl of confronting the issues within her. “Janet…”

Owen went closer to her and hugged Janet very tightly.

“I’m not going anywhere, you’re stuck with me whether you like or not! Haha…” Owen chuckled.

“Haha…” Janet chuckled too.

“I’m serious! I can’t see myself being with another girl if you left, I mean look at me! I’m not muscular, my face so-so, I’m just an accountant in a shitty company, and plain all around!”

“No, you’re not! You’re the most understanding, patient, and empathetic man I’ve ever met!”

“None of those are special, if someone is in love, they’ll of course be like that!”

“But it is special to me!”

“…shucks, now you making me cry! Haha...” Owen joked.

“Hahaha…” And Janet laughed heartedly. “I love you…”

“I love you too.”

“I love you the most!”

“No, I love you the most!”

“No uh! I have the biggest love for you the most!”

“No! I have the BIGGEST LOVE!”

As they both said this it became a vocal competition on who loves the most

“No!”

Janet denied Owen’s love being the biggest, as she was determined with hers being the biggest.

“Yes!”

Owen refutes it of course, by also getting closer to her.

“No!”

Janet again refuse this, by also getting closer to him.

“Yes!”

Owen got more closer again to deny this of her.

“N-”

Janet even got more closer to him, but… she couldn’t finish her words as Owen lunged his mouth directly on to hers.

The moment was found, a moment so organic, so raw, so visceral that Janet has been dying to have.

It was a moment that they cherish together, from every touch, every kiss, every tongue wrestle, and of course… every movement in the bed.

* * *

The cold was always something Janet everyday feels when she wakes up, the breeziness of it is something she is very familiar with it.

But this very morning, it was different, it was warm, it was a bit sticky, but it was lovely nonetheless. And she of course realized she has done it with the man she loves.

It was very exciting for her, something she has dreamt for a very long time.

With this very gift being given, she was about to gift the first taste of her gratitude to her man beside her, but he wasn’t there.

“Rise and- Ohh! You already woke up! Great! C’mon get up! I already made breakfast!” Owen said.

“Okay!” Janet replied with a soft and tender smile.

“And after that go clean yourself! I have a new year’s gift for you!”

“You have?”

“I sure do have!”

After hearing this, Janet went right into the kitchen and grabbed her breakfast, eating it like a ferocious animal as she was excited of this ‘new year’s gift’.

And as she was done with her bath and clothing herself very beautifully. Owen folded her eyes and brought her to his car.

“This is… not some kind of weird gift right?” She was still excited, but she was getting suspicious.

“Ohh it’s going to be weird! Just… not that kind of weird Hon!” Owen replied vaguely.

Janet more or less can only trust her boyfriend with the information that is given, but nonetheless, she was still excited of what that could be.

* * *

As Owen was leading Janet to the gift, Janet was deducing what it could be through her smell and what she smells was interesting.

There were smell of prime roasted meat, with some floral hint, she smelled also some fine wine. With this she was about to conclude that Owen brought her to a very fine dining, a romantic one might be.

But what she is hearing contradicts it, she hears playful children, adults and oldies that are whispering with each other and… giggling.

“You’re ready to see your new year’s gift?” Owen asked her.

“It’s not that weird right hon?” Janet asked.

“Welp, you’ll be the judge of that!” And as Owen said this, Janet’s eyefold was taken away where she finally saw her gift.

““WELCOME!!!”” A loud and cheerful welcome was roared to Janet.

“Uhh… Hi!” Janet was surprised, but was very much happy as she know who those people were, they were Owen’s family.

She has heard of his family a couple of times, some of their eccentricities, and of course their sweetness. She even has met some of them.

“Janet! Good to see you again!” Mark, Owen’s younger brother said while raising a glass of wine to her.

“Good to see you too again Mark!” Janet said excitedly.

“Janet!!!” Catlin, screamed in excitement with her late teen shrilly voice, went to Janet and hugged her. “Glad you could make it!”

“Catlin! Yeah… I didn’t think I could… make it?”

“Good to finally have you here, Janet!” An old man, pat Janet’s shoulder and said appreciatively.

“Yeah… good to be here… Mr. Rogers…”

Janet was confused more or less, on why she was treated like the guest of honor.

“Hon?” She whispered to Owen.

“Yeah?” He whispered back.

“It’s…” Janet then looked back at the surroundings, seeing the happiness of the people around here, seeing the smile they were wearing was genuine to a fault. “Nothing…” Janet could only smile too as she saw this, saw her new year’s gift.

“Well what the hell are we standing here for! Owen brought her girl so let’s plate up!!!” The rowdy man was Owen’s uncle, Tony, as he then brought everyone back to the dining room.

“Janet c’mon! Auntie Mary made the smokiest rib you’ll ever try! Haha!” Catlin said in excitement.

“You guys go on! I need to repay your older brother privately, hehe…” Janet said mischievously.

“Nice.” Mark responded with a smug smile.

“C’mon guys! Let’s safe them a seat!” Owen’s father said as he dragged his youngest to leave his oldest with the woman of his life.

And right there, they were both left alone, alone for Janet… to repay Owen’s gift.

"So…" Janet said sheepishly.

“So…” Owen also said sheepishly.

Janet could only think only one thing gracious gift, as also she saw Owen’s cheek.

“Thank you… this is honestly the best… gift you have given to me!” She smiled tenderly with puffy eyes, after kissing Owen’s cheeks.

“…” Owen was silent with his heart moving, knowing he finally did what the others couldn’t for Janet. “C’mon!” With a tender smile, he grabbed her hand tightly. “Once you taste Auntie Mary’s ribs, you’re gonna want seconds!”