Everything felt as if it were moving in slow motion. I wanted to bath myself in acid. My skin felt contaminated, my inside twisted with the growing need to empty its contents.

Through tears that blurred my vision I tracked through the snow. I ignored the burning sensation the melt snow created inside my boots as I plowed through the six plus inches of fresh snow.

"Phina!"

Osiris yelled my name but I didn't bother to slow down. He would have no trouble catching up to me in fact I was pretty sure he was keeping his distance on purpose.

I didn't know where I was wandering too. I was just mindlessly walking with no direction in particular.

What the hell was wrong with me?

I trust him.

I let him into my life... all these years and...

The thought was to painful, a broken sob escaped my lips. Fuck, I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs.

My foot had gotten wrapped up in something beneath the snow and before I knew it I was falling onto my hands and knees.

"Son of a bitch!" I screamed throwing snow into the air as I pushed myself back onto my feet.

"Phina," Osiris grabbed my shoulder to face him. "This isn't you're fault." He wrapped my up in his arms before I could pull away and I felt like I fell apart in his clasp.

My world had come to a crumbling end. Ever bit of myself that I had built up and grown over the years felt like it had vaporized before my eyes. It was all futile, a waste of time.

I never had true friend. It was all an illusion.

My cries echoed off of the village cabins. I knew the werewolves that lived inside could hear me. I also had no doubt that the resin the village was so barren was because of Osiris.

He wouldn't want his pack to lay eyes on his deranged and pathetic mate and Luna. What kind of example was I displaying?

"I hate myself." I cried.

Osiris rubbed his hand on the back of my head in soothing circles. It did nothing but ignite the sparkling nerve endings of my body. It was all to easy to ignore right now, against the pain I felt.

"Don't." He insisted burying my face deeper against his chest. "None of this was your fault. He a disgusting human being."

"A-a-and I trusted him. I called him m-my best friend. I let him i-in my house. I-I blamed m-myself. I-I a-apologized to h-him for-" I couldn't get everything out between my chocking sobs. I didn't even think Osiris could make out my words anymore.

"Shhh, he'll never hurt you again. He'll never touch you again. I promise you."

"What happened?" Ivy's voice was distant. She had probably heard all my screaming thinking I had finally lost my mind.

There was silence, however, that followed before she growled. "Where the fuck is he? At the cabin?" I pulled my face away from his chest to watch Ivy as she stormed through the snow with ease.

"Wait, Ivy!" Osiris yelled. She ignored him. He stared down at me looking briefly over his shoulder before training his eyes back on my heated face. He looked both remorseful and slightly panicked. "Stay with Aspen, I'll be right back."

He started to run after Ivy but I grabbed his wrist before he got far. "No, don't leave me... please." I begged.

"I have too, or else I'll have a murdered human to deal with and explain to the counsel. Plus, I don't trust my brother not to stop Ivy." He wiped a tear from my cheek. "I promise you I'll be right back, stay with Aspen."

And just like that he was gone, chasing after Ivy was a rushing pace.

Aspen had crept closer as I rubbed my face raw and dry. She rested her hand on my shoulder, a gesture of endearment but all I felt was repulsion. Everyone's touch felt vile and the mere thought disgusted me. I only wanted Osiris and he had just left me here with her, someone I had only uncomfortable memories with.

"Don't touch me." I sip out sliding away.

Her hand dropped immediately alarm in her features. "U-Uh yea, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-" She cut herself off. "Come with me. It's freezing out here. My cabin is two cabins down."

"I'm not going with you."

"I wasn't asking I'm telling you." I shot her a glare one that drew her eyes wide. Her mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water. "I-I just thought you'd want to get out of the cold."

My anger quickly faded the moment the wind picked up. I hadn't noticed until now that I couldn't feel my feet any longer. The snow long melting deep into my boots leaving my toes stiff and unmovable.

Talking some sense into myself I closed my eyes. "Fine."

>>•

"Coffee or Tea?"

I couldn't be bothered to answer. My brain was a pile of harsh realities and messed up emotions that were too raw for me to place.

What do you do with information like this? I now knew the truth but all I wanted was to erase it from my memory.

I was a foolish little girl blindly grasping at any ounce of love and attention I could get. I was so desperate for acceptance that I allowed my attacker into my life with wide open arms.

"Coffee or tea? I have hot chocolate too if you'd like that instead."

I peered away from the window I anxiously awaited to see Osiris through. He had been gone for over an hour now and left me with Aspen; someone I had only tense, brutal conversations with.

"Hot chocolate." I answered.

Aspen moved about the kitchen pulling several mugs out. I guessed she was expecting the others. I wouldn't have been surprised if Osiris and the other reached out to her through the mind link, a conversation I so desperately wanted to be a part of but could only wallow in silence.

I'd discover my wolf, it just couldn't come fast enough.

Mate, find.

I groaned at the voice inside my head that hadn't stopped chanting for our mate. It was like some lifeline my inside voice desperately needed.

"Are you alright?" Aspen set the steaming mug of hot chocolate in front of me. I nodded keeping my eyes low. "The voice inside your head?"

I snapped my head up to look at her. Aspen held a stoic and cold stare, but I didn't miss the hint of empathy that shined through her eyes.

"It can get annoying trust me mine is belligerent. Something I've learned though is the harder I tried to shut it up the worst and louder it became." She slid into the chair next to me stirring her tea. "He never shuts up in my head."

"He?"

She took a sip of her drink. "Yea, he. Those of use that aren't straight have a wolf that opposite of our own biological sex. It's something to do with the psychology of our brain." She reached behind he chair, pulling a book from the self.

I leaned over the cover to read.

It looked like a college textbook. I raised my brow as I eyed the book. "Where did you get this?"

"Heaven." She snipped. "Where do you think I got it?"

"You went to college?" I couldn't fathom Aspen ever setting foot on a campus. She didn't look like a student with her broad shoulders, six foot height, muscular legs and arms thicker than a tree trunk.

If someone said she was an Amazonian I'd believe that without a doubt but a university student? It was hard to believe.

"I'm going to pretend you didn't just insult me, but yes, I've been to college. I actually have a masters degree in neuropsychology. I thought I wanted to help people think through their problems but I think I was the one I was truly to help this entire time."

I peered over to see Aspen stirred her cup of tea with a heavy gaze. "I didn't mean to- I'm sorry."

The front door opened with the sound of the howling wind as Osiris, Desmond, and Ivy made their way inside. I curled up in my chair straying my eyes far from their's and focusing solely on my mug.

I was too embarrassed to look up at them. I didn't want to look at their judging gazed. What happened to me was..

I couldn't bring myself to say it. My wolf wouldn't let me, howling away the agonizing memory with a deafening howl inside my head.

"You got rid of him?" Aspen asked breaking the silence.

I watched as they all nodded from my peripheral. Osiris gave Aspen a long stare before he grunted and headed to the living room. My fingers itched to reach out to stop him. I wanted the answer to Aspens question as much as she did.

I didn't know why I cared so much. Maybe it was for closer. Maybe it was for security. Whatever it was, my hands had a mind of their own as they wasted no time grabbing his arm.

The spark of our bond shout up my arm and I had to bite my cheek to keep from audibly humming. I sheepishly gazed up as I persisted. "What did you do with him? Is he gone?"

Osiris didn't get a word out before Desmond cut him off with the scoff. "He's long gone." I should have felt relieved, happy even but I couldn't bring myself to feel much of anything.

"You should have let me handle him." Ivy argued. Osiris gave a warning growl, something no one was anticipating. He allowed her to get away with back talk and sarcastic jokes this time it was different, but that didn't stop Ivy. "What? It's the truth it would have been a much more easy death than hypothermia."

"And what difference would it have made?" Osiris pressed. The room fell silent. "He's dead regardless. He won't even make it halfway down to the mountain before the frostbite sets in. Having you kill him would have only sped up the inevitable. Besides Ivy," He turned around to face Ivy. "-you're many things but a killer isn't one of them."

"I still-"

"Ivy! Enough." Aspen rose up from the table moving over to her heated mate. Ivy was impulsive, unpredictable, and rash. She was everything Aspen wasn't and right at that moment Aspen took it upon herself to pull Ivy away and into a nearby room.

That only left me and the brother alone in the kitchen. Desmond quietly sipped on a cup of coffee, once in a while he'd take a glance at Osiris and I.

"I need you to take a look at something." Osiris said pull out Andy's phone.

They left him with no way of communicating. An image of Andy's froze body flashed before my eyes, it was unnerving; unsettling and mortifying. Why did I care so much about his well being when I knew now what he'd done to...

I grabbed the phone from Osiris. Messages were displayed on the screen. I furrowed my brows confused at first until my eyes settled on the name at the top.