"Why did you leave?" I asked, sipping my coffee as we were snuggled in the comforters. The games of winters slowly coming on the brink. The passing time submerging me in unfathomable nostalgia. One that I'd started to love and cherish.

"Ivy told me about Senior Aria. What happened?" I continued, reminiscing the night of his birthday.

He shrugged, looking distantly toward nowhere. "Just reviving old memories. None of them pleasurable."

Vague. Void of emotions. Void of information.

However, I was hellbent on knowing what had really transpired between them. I wanted him to open up about this and let it go. A part of me was troubled by the fact: did he still have any feelings for her?

Thus, with the utmost tentativeness, I put forth the question of great significance, "Why did you two break up?"

Silence. Absolute silence. The sort of silence that could swallow you up. Hold on; at this point, I was not even surprised. It became natural.

Being with him, I learned one thing for sure. Patience. Patience is the most efficient key to any bond. At each step, I'd have to be patient with him. Just like he was with me. I'd have to give him space, worrying if I ended up suffocating him with my chaos.

Aylwin Eldred was a hard shell to crack. No doubt. He took his time to open up. To the point, I'd happily name him, "Aylwin Sloth Eldred."

When, even after my slew of thoughts, he didn't speak, I felt disappointment coiling its way into my bosom. A quick churn of my gut saddened me. Perhaps he still had something for her. For Senior Aria.

However, it was short lived, the moment he poured his heart out.

"After Dad, I was guilt-ridden. Depressed. Avoided crowds and... people. To put it better, the shy side of me kicked in. It kicked in so much that I almost forgot who I was. It changed me. Socializing became my worst enemy. The only thing in mind were faces. Faces of dad, ma, Almer, Alana. That's it. I knew I was... unstable..."

There it was again. His form that I always hated to see. The flicker of vulnerability and fragility always put me on eggshells around him. Words like "unstable" didn't go with him. The more he peeled off his layers, the more wrenching things I unveiled.

"That was the best decision for us. I didn't want her to hold back for me. Alas, I let her go. I stopped meeting Aria. Called off things with her. At first, she understood." His voice fading slowly. Tone dropping to a mere whisper as the steamy vapors of coffee hit his mouth, and he sipped ever so slowly. Deep in thought.

I intertwined our fingers, stroking and squeezing. This guy next to me seemed more like a flowery petal. Being handled with caution, care, and affection. The fear of him wilting was too destructive on its own.

"But above all, the thing is, I wasn't happy. Until and unless you yourself aren't happy, how could you make others happy?" It felt like everything crumbled at once. All of his years of practice and mastery were rendered useless by a simple question of mine.

His eyes were still on the walls. Sleek dark walls. He leaned on the headrest, gripping the coffee mug so hard, I was afraid it would break at any moment.

"Aylwin." I said softly, almost in a whisper, my lips brushing against his palm. He stilled, but later relaxed.

He sighed, taking another sip, and finally, after what felt like hours, he continued. "I was no believer in forced happiness. Or showing people I'm good. It's all cool. Playing the utterly bullshit 'I'm okay' game. The best way was to confine myself, and that's what I did." I didn't know why, but his words were like shards to me. Ripping and piercing.

"The less I interacted, the better it was." Silence was all I could offer at this point.

He exhaled, the faint vapors mingling in the air. His fingers held mine in a tight grip, softly stroking my palm. "Things dwindled between Aria and me. Eventually, we both realized we weren't for each other. On the bright side, I didn't want to burden her with my baggage. It was solely mine to take care of. Aria just wasn't the one for me. And soon, we established mutuality of decision."

With that, the conversation died. I didn't know what to say. I had nothing to say, as a matter of fact. Alas, like a lost pup, I obeyed the dominance of silence.

Senior Aria. The girl who'd been on my mind constantly. She wasn't mean or anything. Rather the complete opposite of it. Till now, all I'd seen was a sweet and picture-perfect side of her. But along with that, I'd also seen the side that always scared me. A side of her that was somewhat crazy and weird. Her obsession. The way she would stare at him or gaze at him, be it alone or in front of the crowd. It was always like she was drawing some sort of line. A boundary of differentiation. Between her and others. That revolved all around Aylwin Eldred.

Their past was tangled, I agree. There were still gashed threads connecting them somewhere. And truth be told, I didn't blame either of them. They practically knew each other in the phase where they were their real selves. No façades. No shows and no faux personas.

The fact that she knew him better than me was unsettling. She had seen those parts of him that I guess I'd never be able to face in this life, for sure. The mere thought that Aylwin Eldred was once a shy boy, laughing and showing emotions, still felt too surreal to be true. Moreover, to add toppings on the extremely bizarre point, Senior Aria had witnessed each and every fiber of that persona.

A very heartwarming vision popped into my mind, eventually evaporating my wrecking conspiracies. For the first time, he smiled in front of me. A very genuine smile. Not a mere tug of the lips or anything. But a full-blown, face-illuminating smile. I felt a sense of hope. A teensy-weensy hope arising in me.

Perhaps I'd be able to taste each of his forbidden phases.

I sighed, unable to concentrate on the pages of my books. Studying never seemed too tough; however, being in his presence with a mind loaded with fluctuating thoughts, I begged to differ.

As if my wicked mind had it all, the thought of pissing Senior Aria off seemed way too interesting to me. So, that's what I did.

After all, it was time I drew some strict lines here.

I picked up my phone and clicked an aesthetic picture of Senior Aylwin ever so slowly, making sure not to make any sort of noise. I couldn't stop the string of suppressed chuckles, my eyes eyeing the fine piece of flesh in all his splendor as he sat on the bed. Kahlil Gibran's perched flawlessly in his hands as his eyes wandered over the pages. While mine on him. I went straight to Instagram and readied my post, which would, for sure, flood the Uni forum.

Interesting!

I rechecked my post. The picture was perfect. A cheeky grin pulled on to my lips on reading the caption. "Now, this is my perfect morning."

It was dramatic, but my task was done. There it was posted! I so damn hoped she got the damn memo.

"Ayo, cheeky minx! I see, you're enjoying yourself too much...." Ivy's comment made me giggle. I looked up to see Senior Aylwin staring at me with a raised brow. I smiled sheepishly, shrugging as if I just hadn't posted his picture without his consent.

Well, it wasn't like he could object anyway.

The ringing of my phone distracted me. I glanced at the screen, seeing Ian's name flashing. Oh, geez, how could I forget I've got some explaining to do.

"Ian!" I chirped.

"Jesus, finally you picked up! I called you like a hundred times! Where were you?" His voice sounded strained and relieved. I smiled, feeling the affection oozing out of him.

Where was I? And just like that, the very enticing, blurry remnants of the night crashed on the shores of my mind. Nurturing the harbor with new vigor and zeal. The ships in my mind were suddenly sailing a different route. The routes of memories. Routes of passion. Of ardor. And everything else in between.

"Well... last night, I was... busy." Very busy, in fact.

And just then, Senior Aylwin's eyes met mine. Arching his brow, he tilted his head, whispering, "Busy, now were we?" The amusement that swirled in them—oh, my holy Jesus!— I wished I had words to interpret it, but nonetheless, all I did was match our heated stare.

"You should have told me, Soph. Never mind; Ethel did so on your behalf. It's still strange to know you're in a love affair and all."

"Dude, you make it sound like I've committed some sort of crime!" I shot back.

"By the way, I wanted to meet this boyfriend of yours."

"Oh, well, sure. Lemme ask him, and I'll let ya know. Cool?"

"Sleek." Exchanging a quick bye, I hung up.

Senior was again immersed in the book. Sighing, I made my way to him. Plopping down next to him as he read the book. I placed my head on his shoulder, my fingers aimlessly tracing his free hand. Starting with his finger and working down to curves and ridges. Stroking the palm lines and making circles. I toyed with the plain, silver ring that always looked oh-so-hot on him.

"Now, this is my perfect morning, huh?" He spoke out of the blue, catching me completely off guard.

I swiftly faced him, eyeing the glint that I beheld in the curtains of lapis lazuli. The slight tug of his lips somewhere just tugged at the strings of my heart. Ever so tenderly. So enchanting. So enticing and raw.

"You can't blame me for being honest, now can ya?" A smile of my own challenged his heated stare.

There was a conflict. A very strange kind of conflict resonating and radiating in his mystified gaze. "I'm still getting used to your honesty. It's all so new to me. After Aria, of course, I didn't think I'd actually date. Dating was last on my mind. But look at me, sitting here with you. I still feel like it's all a dream. Too beautiful. A picture-perfect one."

His confessions were the most beautiful part of him. He wasn't the guy who had a pretense to play. The guy whose words were like ambrosia for me. Rather, he was just a normal Aylwin who was trying to put forth his feelings in the most subtle way he could. He was flawed. Full of flaws. He had no power over words. In fact, in moments like these, Aylwin Eldred became the slave of words.

My fingers stroked his cheek. Caressing and brushing across his flesh. The warmth soaring through my fingers to my heart.

"Your confessions reflect the real you. The fragments I've always wanted to bring to the brim. I'd be lying if I said I'd adjusted to all this. For even my soul knows, every morning starts with a quick confirmation of 'us' being real. I'm still learning. With you. About us."

I softly poured out whatever I could think of. Whatever I had to say. We silently conveyed lengthy messages in a span of seconds.

I cleared my throat, changing the subject oh-so-subtly before we submerged deeper into this dangerous labyrinth. "Ian wanted to meet ya."

"Hmm." My fingers back to toying his. This time with much slower pace and zeal.

"So, when are you free?"

"Tell him your time." I stopped toying, drinking in his visage in the most captivating way.

"You don't ha..." Fingers that had once played with pages had found refuge on my lips. They tenderly shushed me, thumb caressing the contours ever so softly.

"I want to. I know he means a lot to you. He saved your life. Think of it as an exchange for saving my life." And thus, just like that, the words were shunned again. Recapitulating everything from the start. All I could do was lean into his touch, placing my forehead against his. Nose touching ever so delicately as our breaths wrote the valor of devoted beloveds. Eyes boring into each other as I let him ignite me once again.

What should be the exchange

For falling for someone?

The offense is done again and again

And when Aylwin is the crime

Sophronia will do it all over again.

"How long have you been racing?" Ian asked Senior Aylwin as he feasted on the delicious dishes. We'd been in the restaurant for an hour, and the male dominance oozing out of them was too much to take.

Yo macho men, chill!

"Since my freshman year." Senior Aylwin replied. The conversation until now had been somewhat cool. Not too dull or too groovy. Lukewarm cool, sorta. I sighed, sipping my own strawberry smoothie.

"I see. Hmm, I remember, CODE 1 just opened their newest ice track in Alaska, isn't it?"

"Hmm. The track took quite a lot of time to start. We've got a match there on New Year's Eve." Okay, this was a new piece of information for me. My ears perked up, guzzling every detail.

I turned towards him, baffled: "You're doing ice racing?" Of course, I was aware of the ice track and racing, minus the scheduled date and place. I wondered when he was going to tell me.

"Yeah, I guess. I've already signed the contract. So, I've to." I fell into the pit of silence again, confused as to what to say next. So, being silent seemed way better.

"That's great! Are you both going there?" Ian's question left a weight hanging in the air.

Will he take me? Should I go? I really want to.

I wanted to go. But we hadn't discussed it once. I just knew a few things about it. We'd have enough time for planning. While my thoughts roamed, my eyes zeroed in on a very familiar person making his way towards us.

A smile bloomed on my lips, mirroring his. "Senior Xavier! What a surprise!" I exclaimed, meeting the lip-piercing guy after so damn long.

"Nice to meet you, Jasper," he said with a smile. He then turned towards his nemesis, smirking, "Eldred."

Senior Aylwin nodded in acknowledgment, "Knight."

Unlike every other time, this time their interaction was kind of lighthearted and tension-free. It didn't look like they were ready to pounce on each other and fuel their frustration. Rather, they both looked relaxed, calm, and more mature.

Senior Xavier's eyes then fell on Ian. His expressions faltered. He looked at us and at him. Ian seemed confused, and well, that included us as well. He forced out a smile, greeting him much more formally. In all honesty, he looked creeped out and highly awkward.

Did they know each other? I didn't know. But whatever it was, it definitely triggered him.

"Alright, folks, I gotta go. Ah, by the way, Eldred, I need to talk to you about something. Come for a bit, will you?" The tone was devoid of haughtiness or arrogance. It was a polite request. Too much saccharine politeness was starting to irritate me.

I agree; I wanted to calm things down between them. But this was something else. It was going down a whole new path. Either way, I watched them go away.

"Well, I guess we should leave as well. What do you say?" Ian's words brought me back. I smiled, agreeing.

We got up, paid the bills, and made our way outside. "Soph?" I hummed back as we walked side by side.

I still couldn't believe Ian was finally with me. The guy who saved my life. Freed me from my own hallucinations and gave me a new life. He was here. With me. With us. It was magical. My life couldn't get any better.

"Hey, Soph, mind coming with me? I wanted to spend time with you, y'know..." His voice faded, an unsure request which held unfathomable pleadings.

I smiled, nodding, "Just lemme inform him. Cool?"

He smiled, sitting in his car, while I made my way towards Senior Aylwin, seeing him intently absorbed in conversation with Senior Xavier. What on earth were they talking about? Seeing me coming their way, Senior Xavier stopped. He smiled at me, "Pebbles! It was nice meeting ya, but gotta go now. Take care! And yeah, be aware of your surrounding."

I scrunched up my nose in confusion. What did that even mean? Before I could ask, he was already gone. I sighed, boys...

"What happened? All well?" I asked Senior Aylwin, who was deep in thought. His forehead was carved in creases of worry as he exhaled.

"Yeah... just racing stuff." Vague. Again, a vague reply. I wanted to press further but refrained from doing so. He seemed tense. I'd let him relax in his way. But eventually I'd ask him. Later.

I got on my toes, my hands encircling his neck, as his arms looped around my waist, steadying me. He raised his brow, amused by my sudden affection level.

I sheepishly smiled, "Umm... actually, Ian wants me to accompany him. So,..." I trailed off, awaiting his reaction. His expressions faltered a bit, before it completely vanished away. Replacing by stoic face.

"It's alright. I'll see ya later, yes?" He leaned in, placing a soft kiss on my forehead. It lingered there for a few seconds, eventually drifting away with him. I smiled, pecking his lips as they tugged a little. Slowly but steadily, it curled up into a very small, heart-melting smile.

Holy Jesus, I can never get used to his smiles. Here, I come heaven!

For nothing was beautiful more than his smile

Seizing hearts even from miles.

The lavish curls and tugs of flutter

Like flute of frivolity

Roving through the lanes of heart.