Not again...

You had another dream again and you couldn't tell if it was going to be a nightmare. Floating in the stillness of sleep, still you were able to feel the prickling cold of a regular Snezhnayan day. Snow crunched under your feet, your body felt light, your hands burned. There was nothing for you to hold on to. No one...

This... you remembered well. Without the need of ingesting that strong Pyro medication, you fell into one of your earliest memories of your enlistment into the Fatui military.

Shrill laughter surrounded your ears and you found yourself laying on the snowy ground. A bad habit of yours, swearing under your breath and letting your anger get the better of you - you dug your fingers into the snow and pushed yourself up to your feet.

The rest of the Cryo Cicin Mages continued to giggle amongst themselves as you patted your recruit uniform clean. Training continued as usual. This was just about the sixth time you've had those pesky little bugs, the Cryo Cicins, totally backfire on you. They refused to follow your commands and continued to wreak havoc on the training grounds. The training instructor even had to get involved to put the Cicins back into their cage.

Never in your life have you felt this embarrassed - even angry with yourself. Every single night, you laid in bed and continued to torment yourself with thoughts of: 'Why did I do that?', 'I should have done something different', 'I'll never become a soldier'. You were patient zero in a plague of self-doubt, self-hatred, and self-disgust.

You happened to be pushed past your breaking point when you failed the skills test in front of the rest of the Cicin Mages. The sight of the training dummy still standing after you've put all of your strength into an attack turned you into the laughingstock of the century. Beads of sweat were like sparkling snowflakes that sprinkled over your reddening face, your arm ached from the weight of the Cicins' lantern, and your legs almost gave way.

Every single laugh you heard from the girls' mouths impaled its own blade into your already defeated heart. The buzzing of the Cicins were like taunts that you couldn't escape from, the bugs only flew around your head and refused to return to the lantern.

"This can't be the same girl that's related to Lieutenant Nikolai, she can't even take down a single target." Whispers swam amongst the group.

Your instructor was not so pleased by your performance, yet they weren't surprised either. In fact, nobody in this section was surprised that you bombed the test. Apparently, all this time you've spent training instead of eating or sleeping meant absolutely nothing. You were nothing but a failure who tried so hard to be just like their older sibling. A failure. A wasteful failure.

To everyone's horrid surprise, they all jumped when they saw you pitch the lantern directly at the training dummy. A loud crash followed by the sound of the other girls screaming was bound to draw the attention of the overseeing Harbinger from across the training grounds.

In all her glory, the eighth Fatui Harbinger La Signora merely glanced over at where all the commotion was coming from. She watched you from afar as you knocked the dummy to the ground with a single strike from the thrown lantern. You could be seen talking back to the training instructor, arguing back and forth until they furiously wrote a rejection letter for your military application.

With that, you stormed off the base grounds.

Completely entertained by the sight before her, La Signora decided to satisfy her curiosity to see what crazy thing you were going to do next. She dismissed whatever work she was doing and secretly followed your footprints that lead down the same forest path you ran through. A fellow lieutenant accompanied the Harbinger just in case things got a bit too rowdy - call it double assurance.

They walked down the same trail where your footprints were imprinted in the snow. They could hear grunting and frustrated sobs as they drew closer to where you were standing. Soon, they found you crying alone in the woods.

"Ahh!" You shouted at the top of your lungs and felt your rage slowly drain away. The forest absorbed your screams and responded with a brisk gust of wind.

Without another thought, you ripped your Vision from your uniform and held it so tightly that your knuckles just about turned snow white. Staring straight ahead at the forest's crevasse, you wiped your tears with one hand and held the other behind your head, readying your aim right at the cliff's edge.

"Caw...! Caw, caw...!"

The mocking tone of the crows was enough to make you stop in your tracks. Each cry made your ears prick and soon, you found yourself focusing on the birds above you.

"What are you looking at?!" You didn't like how you were being stared at by the crows perched on the trees. With their beady eyes, they continued to gleam mockingly at your lowest state.

Needless to say, you couldn't exactly control your emotions, especially when you're downright pissed off and have an endless supply of pebbles at your feet. Tucking your Vision away, you were blessed with an idea to help get rid of your anger. You took it upon yourself that you had the liberty to bend down and grab a handful of rocks, all the while staring angrily at the group of crows.

All at once, you brought your arm back and threw a rock at the line of birds. When you hit one, it squawked in pain before plummeting to the ground with a pitiful thud. The others saw what you had down and spread their wings out of fury for turning their fellow bird into fowl.

Staring into the faces of countless birds, you were ready to fight each and every one of them. One by one, they shot right at you and at the same time, you hurled an unforgiving rock at the flying animal. Every single strike, an animal met its demise with hard stone. Every single bird was shot out of the sky.

"Get her a gun," Signora ordered the lieutenant, who was more disturbed by the sight in front of him. "And let her train in your section for the time being. I believe we have a potential recruit for the Cryogunner Legionnaires."

The next thing you knew, you were walking back to the military base. The fellow Cicin Mages were shocked to see you again, they were more impressed by your blind audacity to be showing your face again after the crazy stunt you pulled. Still, you looked quite smug walking behind the Cryogunner Lieutenant to another section of the training grounds.

Instead of girls in skin-tight uniforms, you were surrounded by bigger and stronger soldiers who you could imagine had a killer look in their eyes under their masks. You were so used to hearing the crowlike mocking tone of the Cicin Mages' voices that it was almost foreign to hear the grunts of soldiers as they trained.

You walked past the Pyroslinger Bracers and the Mirror Maidens, they seemed to turn their heads when you continued to watch them in awe. The Electrohammer and Amenoboxer Vanguards seemed to be too focused on their training to even notice your long stares.

Next, you found the Geochanter Bracers and Fatui Agents lining up in their respective troops. You knew if you looked hard enough, you knew you would be able to see your older brother Nikolai and his best friend training together. Those two were always inseparable, it's too bad you didn't know his name.

Finally, you arrived at the gunner's section. You were as impressed as you were curious at the sight of the Hydrogunner and Cryogunner Legionaries practicing combos and counterattacks. A part of you questioned what was in store for you - it's not like this was a major turning point in your life, right?

Long story short, the look on your face was picture-worthy as you were handed a gun so casually by the lieutenant. Definitely, if you were to be using guns for fighting, you would have them scaled down to your fitting. The firearm was too big for you to hold with one hand and it was putting a bit of a strain on your arms anyway - making it kind of pointless if you were to be doing fast attacks.

But you weren't going to complain this time. After being given a second chance, you weren't stupid enough to give up. You didn't know how else to explain it, but you felt a sense of warmth at the thought of someone believing that you had the potential to become a Fatui soldier.

For the time being as the others prepared the combat dummies, you were sitting alone on a wooden bench with your new weapon at hand. You meditated with your eyes closed, even the background sounds of the training grounds couldn't seem to penetrate your concentration. You focused on the energy surging through your veins - how steady your heart pounded in your chest. All you could feel was lovely coldness.

"Ready, recruit?"

They called you over and stood back from the blast zone. The other Cryogunners turned their attention onto you and you soon found yourself as the subject of everyone's curiosity. With a gun in your hand, you walked toward the training field and stood on standby until the supervising instructor made the call.

There was a certain kind of tension in the thin air. No other way to explain it than that it was suffocating, but through the thickness of the atmosphere, you were able to breathe softly. A cold chill trickled down your spine as if another person was watching from afar - though, you chose not to dwell on it any longer.

Now!

From the corner of your eye, you saw how the instructor raised his arm to signal the start of the testing. You knew not to make the mistake of having your eyes stray away to the side.

It was the sound of a gunshot that brought your life together like a missing puzzle piece. The mind-shattering sound of a crystal bullet being fired, who would have thought?

The dummies popped in front of you and one by one you picked each target off with lightning precision, Cryo showered the torn-off bodies. For the first time, you felt in control. You didn't have to worry about flying Cicin's or the stress of the lantern in your grasp. All that mattered was how you fed the bullets into your guns.

The Vision on your chest glowed brightly after every shot, even your surroundings seemed to have dropped to a temperature below the usual. This power... you knew there was a way to harness it to unlock its full potential. In the meantime, you couldn't help but almost feel like a God with this newfound passion.

You were half breathless from the non-stop attack and the other half was from the sight before you. The training grounds were littered with sharp shards of ice and prickly snow, the dummies were even glowing cold blue from their frost-bitten injuries - Archons only know what kind of damage this could do to a human.

"Enough."

The training instructor ceased all dummies and marched his way over to you. At first, you were totally ready to receive another scolding and ultimately another rejection slip. Looking at the destroyed training dummies laying broken on the floor, not to mention the frozen-over firing range, you were for sure going to be booted from the military in no time.

"So, when can you start?" The Cryogunner lieutenant can almost be seen smiling under his mask, his friendly tone of voice was something you were unfamiliar with.

You were at a loss for words but mustered all your strength to reply to him, "Any... time..."

"Wonderful, we'll begin your gunner training first thing tomorrow morning." He matter-of-factly raised a finger. "During your training, you may encounter all kinds of difficulties along the way - given the fact that you have a different build than your fellow comrades, nonetheless, we won't treat you any other way. You are now a part of this family."

"I will continue to train every day... I swear by it...!"

"In the meantime, you will learn discipline, you will learn self-control... and most importantly..."

"I'll be a soldier just like my brother."

"You'll be your best version of a soldier."

With those words, you stared dreamily at the lieutenant. You haven't really thought of it that way, most of the time you have been comparing yourself to your older brother. You deemed yourself to have more flaws than he had perfections. Not until now did you think of yourself in this light. Either way, you nodded your head as you took his advice.

He opened his hand and offered some of his snacks to you, "Berry?"

"Thanks." You replied just as quickly.

"Welcome to the squadron, Cryogunner [Y/N]. May your bullets be as swift and merciless as our beloved Archon."

"And indeed they shall."

You replied just as solemnly, completely serious when you vowed to fight alongside the Cryogunner Legionaries. You were rushed by the other soldiers in an embrace of celebration, they even managed to get you on top of someone's shoulders to parade you around the training grounds. This was the kind of support you've longed for... With this, you smiled as brightly as the sun that shines down on Teyvat.

A pair of silver eyes watched from afar.

"Great soldiers aren't born, they're made..." Signora sighed blissfully, a delightful idea coming to fruition. "I believe I know someone who would be able to train her..."

•••

"Wake up, [Y/N]... it's time to go home."

The sunlight against your eyes allowed you to finally break from your sleep-like trance and sit upright on the couch. You rubbed the tiredness away as you massaged your face, it was difficult to remember the last time you had a good night's sleep.

The little girl held her hand out to help you stand up to your feet. Slowly, you took Qiqi's hand and overreacted as you stood up - pretending that she was stronger than you. With a quiet chuckle, Qiqi continued to hold onto your wrist as the two of you walked out the pharmacy doors.

A part of you was expecting to see Kazuha and Beidou up and ready to embark on a journey overseas to Snezhnaya, yet they were nowhere to be found. Even the pharmacist Dr. Baizhu was absent - most likely on an errand run for medication ingredients or something, I don't know I just got here.

Anyway, you stared longingly at the rising sun along the Harbour's waterline. Having this waterfront view was something you didn't know could bring you so much joy. At first, you thought it was an eyesore. All the lights reflecting off the water ripples were just things that got in the way of your vision but the warmth was something that couldn't be forgotten.

Qiqi tugged on your gun holster to grab your attention and pointed down the long staircase. You followed your gaze in the direction she was pointing and tilted your head curiously at the commotion going on at the foot of the stairs.

Before you knew it, two people were running up the steps and making their way to the front of the Bubu Pharmacy. You didn't know what else to do but stand by and watch as they drew closer.

"Listen, [Y/N], I tried keeping her away but she seems pretty determined to- Woah!" Kazuha was pushed to the side as an unfamiliar-looking woman stalked her way toward you.

At first, you didn't know how to approach this new opponent, it wouldn't be wise to start shooting everywhere and causing a scene. The last thing you want is to draw other people's attention and it doesn't take an idiot to figure out that the Millelith and Fatui would be the first ones to show up.

"What have you done to my nephew...?! Answer me, Fatui scum...!"

"What... nephew...?"

"Chongyun."

"He's your nephew-? Oh sh..." You immediately shut your eyes out of dismay but not before covering Qiqi's ears. "Shit."

You never really liked dealing with family members, especially when it came to collecting debts. You remembered how difficult it was to untangle all the debts from the family drama. Now that you were free from that kind of job, it wasn't like you were an expert in dealing with this kind of thing. In fact, you felt the incoming sense of dread radiating from the woman in front of you.

"I... didn't know he had an aunt..."

"My name is Shenhe. There is no need to introduce yourself to me because I was notified of what kind of background you come from."

Once again, you shrugged your shoulders out of pure spite. You stared dead in the eye of the woman before you. She indeed had the same features as Chongyun, she even had the same angry twinge in her eyebrow. In all honesty, you weren't exactly surprised by the hostile treatment... After all, they are family.

You noticed the brilliant colours in her eyes contrasted with her white coloured hair, you were almost mesmerized by her complexion. It took you a while to realize that you had to tilt your head upwards to look at Shenhe, she stood almost a head taller than you - still, you didn't know what she was capable of. You remained still.

The red ribbons on her attire swung softly as she leaned to the side, "I don't believe my nephew would voluntarily involve himself in the Fatui's business. You persuaded him, didn't you?"

"Uh..." You weren't exactly sure how to respond to that.

"What kind of temptations did you present to him, hm? Mora? Snezhnayan goods? Yourself-?"

You deadpanned, "My gun-"

"I do not want to hear it."

You knew you should have gotten on that ship the moment it docked in the harbour. Why on Teyvat did you think it was a good idea to rest in the pharmacy? So what if you were so tired you were on the verge of collapsing - now look at the kind of mess you put yourself in.

First things first, you told Qiqi to go back inside the pharmacy and the little girl complied, deeming that adult talk was boring anyway. Now that the child was out of the way, you placed your hands on your hips which were dangerously close to your guns. On the steps below, Kazuha was shaking his head - signalling that fighting wasn't a good idea.

But technically there was no one here to stop you anyway.

"You!" A familiar voice rang in the air and that only meant there were more problems ahead. "You got Chongyun arrested by the Fatui!!"

Behind Shenhe, a certain salmon-haired girl popped up after running up the flight of stairs. After, again, pushing Kazuha to the side, she shot an accusatory finger in your direction. It was times like this when you genuinely missed the Traveller and her teammates. Surely if Xingqiu and Xiangling were here, they would surely back you up.

Wait... You were brought back to your senses when you fully processed what Yanfei had said, "He was arrested...?"

"Unlawfully too!" Yanfei replied. "I discovered this after failing to find him in the city. We were thinking he was off doing another exorcism but we received news from these Millelith soldiers that Chongyun was hauled away by three Fatui Agents - which is totally unacceptable in any book of law!"

Upon hearing those words, you raised your hand to your face and anxiously bit down on your finger. You never would have thought that your teammates would have been targeted like this. Sure, you knew how Scaramouche operated especially when it came to groups, but it seemed like you had let your guard down at the worst time.

Yanfei emphasized the urgency of the situation, "We have to go bail him out before they do something bad to him!"

"Like what?" Kazuha asked, completely intrigued.

"Removing his fingers," You answered easily, staring blankly at the group before you. "Or even death."

"Well, that doesn't sound like a good time." He muttered.