That Time I Got Sent to Another World Where All of the Girls Are Super Hot and Super Into Me Because I Am Super Strong and Have Very Powerful Abilities that God Gave to Me Because Me and Them Were Friends When I Was in Grade School and God Is Actually A Loli Who is Also in Love with Me Because I Am A Super Epic Person Who Will Defeat The Demon Lord Who Threatens The Entire World but the Demon Lord Actually is in Love With Me and the Demon Lord is a Super Hot Busty Babe Who is Actually Just Trying to Get My Attention Because I Have a Cellphone That Can Contact the Internet and Can Get Anything Shipped To Me Within 2 Days But I Barely Need It Because I Am Actually the Most Strongest Guy Alive Because I Have Super Strong Powers Like Being Able to Lift Your Mom Really Easily Which is Nearly Impossible Because Your Mom is So Fat But is Actually A Secret Anime Busty Babe Who is Really into Me Because I Am Super Cool and Better Than Your Dad Because He is Super Lame Which I Am Not:

Ch. 2.8 - That time I was reincarnated into another world and got impatient on the road

The sun shone overhead, like a spotlight that highlighted how god-damn boring the back of this cart was.

I sighed, again. Back when I'd been on Earth, I had always dreamed of going on a cool, badass adventure! I had thought it would be amazing, and exciting. I turned and watched a flock of giant birds, each the size of a horse, run along the plains, stopping amongst an outcrop of glowing crystals to scratch and peck at the ground.

This was so... boring! Sure, the fantastical fantasy setting had been cool when I first saw it, but it'd been almost a full day of traveling! My attention span had already had its fill of these cool set-pieces.

"Are we there yet?" I asked Bonbon, who was taking a turn at the reins while Wanda took a post-pudding nap. The elf, who had since changed back into her traveling sundress, shifted her head to the side. Not enough to actually face me, but just enough to make it clear she was responding to me, or talking to an invisible person next to her.

"No, we're still not there, Hiro-san," she told me, her voice strained. I nodded to myself. It was obvious that we were all getting a little impatient. She'd been a lot calmer the first 10 times I'd asked her, so she must also be feeling frustrated by how long it was taking.

I sighed and flopped back into the cart again, rolling Wanda's tail into a pillow. This... sucked. I had all these awesome, amazing powers, but I couldn't even do something to speed up a single cart?

I appraised myself using my [Appraisal (but secretly infinite knowledge)] skill:

Name: Hiro ♥ Protagonist

Level: 11

EXP: 230/5500

Skill Points: 74542

Gold Stars: 53

Gacha Coins: 1,000,000,099

HP: 69425/69425

MP: 1337/1337

SP: 9999/9999

FP: 1/1

Attributes:

Stranth: 110000

Dexterity: 110000

Swoleness: 110000

Magic: 110000

Karma: 685

Mojo:99999

Luck: -99999

Skills:

[Jumping Supremacy - Lvl 10] [Hopmeister] [Running Supremacy - Lvl 10] [Windrunner] [Climbing Supremacy - Lvl 10] [Cliffwalker] [Crawling Supremacy - Lvl 10] [Crawldad] [Swimming Supremacy - Lvl 10] [Motorboat Legs] [Cooking Supremacy - Lvl 10] [Godly Chef] [Divine Heavenly Chef] [Punching Invulnerability] [Slashing Invulnerability] [Projectiles Invulnerability] [Stabbing Invulnerability] [Crushing Invulnerability] [Toe-stubbing Invulnerability] [Burning Invulnerability] [Lightning Invulnerability] [Fish Invulnerability] [Shadow Invulnerability] [Surprise Invulnerability] [Light Invulnerability] [Heavy Invulnerability] [Greater Invulnerability] [Wind Invulnerability] [Water Invulnerability] [Earth Invulnerability] [Sleep Invulnerability] [Pain Invulnerability] [Silence Invulnerability] [Curse Invulnerability] [Emotional Damage Invulnerability] [Seduction Invulnerability] [Wisdom Invulnerability] [Shame Invulnerability] [Heat Invulnerability] [Cold Invulnerability] [Itching Invulnerability] [Discomfort Invulnerability] [Alcohol Invulnerability] [Drug Invulnerability] [Spicy Invulnerability] [Cringe Invulnerability] [Absolute Invulnerability] [Fluff Resistance - Lvl 1] [Mist Resistance - Lvl 2] [Second Wind] [Plot Armor] [Indomitable Will] [Eye Contact Resistance - Lvl 3] [Sunlight Resistance - Lvl 1] [Greater Maneuverability] [Swooce Supremacy] [3D Maneuvering] [4D Maneuvering] [Noclip] [Greater Fisticuffs] [Fisticuffs Supremacy] [Kill Anything In A Single Punch] [Elemental Punches] [Flaming Energy Ball] [Dark Attack Basics] [Stunning Blow] [Poisoning Blow] [Silencing Blow] [Surprising Blow] [Fisherman's Fist] [Cursing Blow] [Stunning Slash] [Poisoning Slash] [Silencing Slash] [Surprising Slash] [Fisherman's Blade] [Cursing Slash] [Sexpert] [Ultra Fabio] [Expert Swordsman] [Dual-Wielding] [Triple-Wielding] [Sword Saint] [Energy Blade] [Expert Spearsman] [Spear Extension (All natural supplement)] [Triple Thrust] [Expert Hammersman] [Ultra Crush] [Whirlwind Smash] [Expert Archer] [Multishot] [Homing Shot] [Penetrating Shot] [Ricochet Shot] [Curving Shot] [Splitting Shot] [Returning Shot] [Explosive Shot] [Dual-Wielding (Bows)] [Instant Reload] [Tennis Master] [Ultra Serve] [Devil Serve] [Hell Rally] [Dakimakura Supremacy] [Dakimakura Expert] [Knife Supremacy] [Bar Fighting Supremacy] [Brawler] [Drunken Master] [Expert Staffsman] [Spinny Boi] [Crushing Staff] [Helicopter Staff] [Acrobatic Flipwaltz] [Fishing Supremacy] [King Angler] [Snap Cast] [Casting Supremacy] [Casting King] [Handsome - Lvl 10] [Perfect Hair] [Furrow Browsics - Lvl 2] [Imbue Weapon] [Enhance Weapon] [Create Weapon] [Repair Weapon] [Sell Weapon] [Clapping Mastery - Lvl 1] [Photographer Mastery - Lvl 1] [Montage Mastery - Lvl 4] [Woodworking Basics - Lvl 3] [Drafting Mastery - Lvl 2] [Bureaucracy Supremacy - Lvl 1] [Conga Line Basics - Level 1] [Trick or Treat Room] [Time Slow] [Time Stop] [Win Almost Everything But Not Everything] [Win Everything Else] [Speak With Animals] [Speak with Plants] [Speak with Monsters] [Speak with Idiots] [Speak with Walls] [Greater Speaking] [Detective Basics - Lvl 3] [Peer Pressure Mastery - Lvl 1] [Substitute Teacher Basics - Lvl 1] [Appraisal (but secretly infinite knowledge)] [Greater Vore] [Shield Supremacy] [Shield Saint] [Dual Wielding (Shields)] [Dual Welding] [Arch Welding] [Godly Welding] [Instantly Learn Skill] [Regeneration] [Super Regeneration] [Ultra Regeneration] [Max Regeneration] [Ultra Max Regeneration] [Clown Resistance] [Smoke Ring Basics - Lvl 2] [Steal] [Burgle] [Purloin] [Stealth] [Greater Stealth] [Sneak King] [Invisibility] [Demon Lord - Lvl 10] [Hero - Lvl 10] [Sidekick - Lvl 10] [Evil Vizier - Lvl 10] [Greater Stranth] [All Natty] [Greater Dexterity] [Skanda] [Greater Swoleness] [Bloatlord] [Greater Magic Casting] [Greater Magic Perception] [Greater Magic Intuition] [Greater Magic Licensing] [Greater Magic Conscription] [Parliamentary Recess] [Height of Occultism] [Greater Flame Magic] [Heat Miser] [Greater Wind Magic] [Tornadist] [Greater Ice Magic] [Snow Miser] [Greater Earth Magic] [Rockhaver] [Greater Light Magic] [Dayman] [Greater Dark Magic] [Nightman] [Greater Surprise Magic] [Magic Magician] [Greater Dimensional Magic] [Space Folder] [Greater Death Magic] [Overlord] [Lesser Flavor Magic] [Jellymancy] [Psionics] [Greater ESPer] [Mind Bullets] [Mind Rockets] [Telekinetic] [Telepathetic] [Teleportation (Minor)] [Instant Transmission] [Greater Mojo] [Funklord] [Cultist Basics - Lvl 2] [Bargain Hunter] [Dealsmith] [Hagglemeister] [Greater Hp Regeneration] [Automatic Resurrection] [Lesser MP Regeneration][Greater SP Regeneration] [Greater FP Regeneration] [Dragon Power] [Dragon Breath] [Dragon Wings] [Greater Fursona: Dragon] [Ninja] [Divine Blessing] [Multitask Basics - Lvl 1] [Mental Dictionary] [Mental Rolodex] [Mental Thesaurus] [Mental Encyclopedia] [Mental Almanac] [Mental Coloring Book] [Mental Powerpoint] [Mental Sundial] [Brain Cell Phone] [Inter-dimensional Cell Phone] [Demon Eye] [Evil Eye: Curse] [Evil Eye: Killing] [Evil Eye: Poison] [Evil Eye: Venom] [Evil Eye: Itching] [Evil Eye: Surprise] [Evil Eye: Silence] [Evil Eye: Cringe] [Evil Eye: Laser Beams] [Binocular Vision] [Telescopic Vision] [X-Ray Vision] [Heat Vision] [Clairvoyance] [Periscope Vision] [Supervision] [Expert Hearing] [Double-Ear] [Long-Range Hearing] [Expert Smelling] [Sniff Supremacy] [Expert Taste] [6 Foot Tongue] [Skeleton Detection] [Manifest Wings] [Manifest Horns] [Manifest Extra Arms] [Shapeshifter] [Trainer] [Personal Trainer] [Slave Owner] [Slave Friend] [Monster Tamer] [Monster Friend] [Monster King] [EXP Share] [Monster] [Drop Collection Basics] [Instant Change (Outfit)] [Greater Color Coordination] [Background Music Basics] [Wrath] [Pride] [Lust] [Greed] [Envy] [Gluttony] [Sloth] [Chastity] [Temperance] [Charity] [Diligence] [Kindness] [Patience] [Humility] [Defy Gods] [Defy Parking Ticket] [Flying] [Greed is Good] [Greater Monologue] [Monologue Supremacy] [Instant Monologue]

Titles:

[Emperor] [Ollie King] [Jump King] [Climb King] [Running King] [Crawling King] [Mystery Chef] [Angler King] [Ultra Mage] [Seven Deadly Sins Master] [Seven Heavenly Virtues Master] [Super Mage] [Great Warrior] [Demon Lord] [Hero] [Champion of the Sun] [Karate Master] [Evil Vizier] [Good Vizier] [Sword Saint] [Spear Saint] [Shield Saint] [Hammer Saint] [Bow Saint] [Fashion Police] [Monster Trainer] [Monster] [Tennis Master] [Furry] [Dragon Slayer] [Dragon] [Coward] [Bully] [Cad] [Thief] [Staff Saint] [Expert Driver] [Ace Pilot] [Horseman] [Heretic] [Anti-Pope] [Pope] [Double Jesus] [Photographer] [ESPer King] [Inventor] [Gourmand] [Entrepreneur] [Ultrapreneur] [Enchanter] [Drunkard] [Small Business Owner] [Cell Phonetrix] [Sk8r Boy] [Ultra Sk8r Boy] [World Savior] [God's Favorite] [Skeleton Killer] [Slaver] [Slave Tycoon] [Emancipator] [Great Emancipator] [Human Killer] [Artes Master] [Bronze Rank Adventurer] [Slime Slayer] [Underdog] [Cult Crusher]

Sword Artes:

[Double Slash] [Triple Slash] [One Thousand Slashes of Light] [One Thousand Slashes of Darkness] [Clothes-Cutting Slash] [Clothes-Cutting Slash (PG-13)] [Space Trimmer] [That one move where you cut something and then sheathe your sword and it doesn't look like you cut it but you really did and you like turn around and then it falls in half] [Anti-Slime Sword] [Adaptive Strike]

Culinary Artes:

[Summon Egg] [Precision Serving] [Acquire Taste] [Smell-o-vision] [Convert Food: Delicious] [Salvage Abomination]

Steak Artes:

[Double Grilling]

Cell Phone Artes:

[Minesweeper][Internet Browser][Calculator][Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2][Sahara Prime][Monster Catching] [Camera] [Dating App] [Future Diary] [Cell Phone Sword] [Status HUD] [FoodHut] [Infinite Wallet] [UPC Scanner] [Pocket Storage] [Affinity Chart] [Headphone Jack] [Infinite Battery] [Solitaire] [Snake]

Slave Artes:

[Boost Attributes (Physical)] [Skill Synergy: Dragon Forme] [Skill Synergy: Pro Skater Forme] [DLC Costume Shop] [Gladiator Spirit]

Board Artes:

[Kickflip Slash] [Eternal Grind] [Biggie Head Mode] [Double Ollie] [Summon Board] [Grind on Air] [Triple Ollie] [Deflecting Deck] [Ultimate Board Arte: Kickflip]

Musical Artes:

[Play Any Instrument] [Ballad of Bravery] [Sonata of Stranth] [Ditty of Dexterity] [Serenade of Swoleness] [Karmic Klezmer] [Melody of Magic] [Musical Mojo] [Lullaby of Luck]

Magic Artes:

[Spell Conversion: Casting Time] [Spell Conversion: Duration] [Spell Conversion: Effect] [Spell Conversion: Distance] [Spell Conversion: Delay] [Spell Conversion: Mana Cost] [Spell Conversion: Target] [Flaming Spell] [Frostbitten Spell] [Radiant Spell] [Gloomy Spell] [Electric Spell] [Rocky Spell] [Wet Spell] [Draconic Might: Spell] [Funny Spell] [Piscine Spell] [Toxic Spell] [Spell Blade] [Double Cast] [Triple Cast] [Endless Font of Magic] [Spell Improvement] [Blood for Mana] [Research Spell] [Ultimate Magic Arte: Quadruple Cast]

Arte Artes:

[Use Two Artes at Once] [Meta Arte: Fire] [Meta Arte: Ice] [Meta Arte: Light] [Meta Arte: Darkness] [Meta Arte: Earth] [Meta Arte: Lightning] [Meta Arte: Air] [Meta Arte: Water] [Meta Arte: Surprise] [Meta Arte: Clown] [Meta Arte: Fish] [Arte Learning] [Artes Catalogue (Recursive)] [Recursive Arte] [Repeat Arte] [Copy Arte] [AI Generated Artes] [Ultimate Arte Arte: Unlimited Arte Works]

Jellymancy Artes:

[Jelly Splash]

Spells:

[Blaze Ollie - Lvl 10] [Thunder Grind - Lvl 10] [Thunder Wave - Lvl 1] [Frost Tycoon - Lvl 10] [Malamphosicet's Greater Illusion of 1000 Blades: Sword Art: Spell Sword: Magic Slash: "The Dusk Calls Me At Last, Onwards (Requiem) - Lvl 10] [Wind - Lvl 10] [Warp Reality] [Dimension Box] [Greatest Healing - Lvl 10] [Resurrection - Lvl 10] [Lightning Spear - Lvl 10] [Dark Blast - Lvl 10] [Dark Lash - Lvl 1] [Self-Destruct - Lvl 10] [Earthquake - Lvl 10] [Explosion - Lvl 10] [Dispel Curse] [Add Curse] [Unslave] [Charm Person] [Mind Lash] [Spirit Bomb] [Deus Ex Machina] [Meteor Storm] [Biscuit Hammer] [Cloudkill] [Summon Dakimakura] [Light] [Make Cube] [Create Shadow Clone No Bunshin] [Force Cage] [Create Food] [Bestow Flavor: Spicy] [Bestow Flavor: Umami] [Cloud of Cinnamon] [Create Scrumptious Reagent] [Mimic]

DLC Perks:

[Vending Machine] [Gacha Emperor] [Cosmetic Pack 1] [Cosmetic Pack 2] [Battle Pass (Fall 2069)] [Alternate Costume: Clown] [Alternate Costume: Heavenly King] [Alternate Costume: Sexy Maid] [Doggirl Companion] [Companion Costume: Sexy Cowgirl] [Companion Costume: Sexy Maid] [Companion Costume: Sexy Shinobi] ]Companion Costume: Sexy Nun] [Companion Costume: Sexy Actuary] [Companion Costume: Sexy Hazmat Suit] [EXP Boost] [Warp Reality]

Wait a minute... that was it!

I may not have had any single skill that could solve this, but if I were to combine a few... [Time Slow] made everything else move slower, but it also affected my perception of time, so that everything around me looked like it was slower, and thus, taking longer. If I could... invert that, then...

Wait, so if I were to use this skill... and that one... then...

I grinned a smile. I got it! I didn't actually need to make the cart physically faster! If I did this, then... we'd be there before I even realized it!

Letting out a mischievous chuckle, I activated my skills in combination, and...

Bonbon A. Petit sat at the reins of the small cart as it trundled along the packed-dirt road, towards the coast. She was starting to harbor a few doubts about her recent choices. Her father had warned her about the dangers of her quest, but Flavos had chosen her! Whenever the Gods themselves deigned to choose a champion, it was always for some momentous reason, or because they thought it would be funny or entertaining.

Bonbon wasn't sure which it was, but she doubted that her entire existence would sum up to some kind of cosmic joke, so it was probably the former. She was a [Princess] after all, in case you somehow missed it the like 10 times it'd come up in her status, and missed the other very obvious hints. Bonbon was, and is a [Princess]. Just so we're clear. The fact that Hiro hasn't noticed this yet is its own whole thing, but you, the person reading this story, are hopefully much brighter than Hiro.

In a way, she'd tied her fate to Hiro, because his culinary knowledge was like nothing she'd ever seen before. Even if he was a bit... eccentric... that knowledge could completely revolutionize the entire world's understanding of cuisine! She'd just have to be... really careful trying to harvest that knowledge, is all. It was like a trying to read a recipe book written on the side of a caffeinated rhino. And she'd already done that back in the Flavostown Proving Grounds.

She'd been traveling for the better part of a day, now, and the sun was starting to set. At least Hiro had quieted down a bit. She glanced back in the cart at the hero, who was laying back, his eyes wide open and staring into the sky. He had a grin fixed on his face, as if he'd just thought of something clever, but... he wasn't moving at all. Bonbon hesitated. He... wait, was he even breathing?

Bonbon set the reins down and activated the parking brake, turning around fully in her seat to stare at her party leader.

"Hiro-san?" she asked, hesitantly. He did not respond.

"HIRO-SAN?!"

Wanda stirred, both in her sleep and in the remnants of her pudding bucket. She sat up and ate the last half-spoonful of pudding, blinking the sleep from her eyes as she debated whether to try shoving her face into the bucket to get the last few scraps.

Bonbon glanced over at her, but Hiro hadn't seemed to have reacted to Wanda moving her tail out from underneath his head. In fact... his head hadn't even moved. It was sort of hovering in the air as if the tail was still beneath it.

"Wanda-san. Something strange is going on with Hiro," Bonbon pointed out, on the edge of a panic. "I mean... more strange than usual."

Wanda rubbed her eyes and turned to peer at Hiro, who was laying stiff in the cart. "Wan... I think I like him better this way."

"Wanda-san! Be serious. Is he... even still alive?"

The Animal-ears-person-folk (dog) leaned over and laid the side of her head against his chest, listening with both her human and dog ears.

Almost immediately, she lifted her head from his chest and looked at it in confusion.

"He's... vibrating, wan."

Bonbon clutched the brim of her hat. She wasn't sure what was going on, but she kind of doubted it was anything good. Had it been an enemy attack? She hadn't seen, nor heard anything, and the odds were pretty low that an enemy could bypass his resistances, anyway. She thought it was unlikely that he'd done it to himself, and... No, actually, now that she thought about it, it was probably quite likely he'd done it to himself. But that still left the question of what 'it' even was.

"He's not responding at all," Bonbon said. "Do you think he might be [Paralyzed]? Or... dead?"

Wanda yawned, patting Hiro's stomach. "Well... he's definitely not dead, wan." Wanda noted. "He might be [Paralyzed]. Let's find out, wan."

Bonbon blinked, not entirely following the doggirl's meaning. "Find out? Can your [Appraisal] skill detect status conditions?"

Wanda stood up, stepping over Hiro until she was straddling him. She looked down at his face, which still hadn't shifted in the slightest. His eyes were unfocused, staring at some random point in the sky.

"Don't need to, wan," she explained. "When you're [Paralyzed], you are in full possession of your senses. The condition affects your freedom of movement, but that's about the extent of it. It doesn't affect your ability to perceive, nor does it change many of your autonomous reactions, wan. To wit..."

At that, Wanda raise her shirt, bending over to bring her bare chest directly into Hiro's line of sight. Bonbon, quick to recognize lewdness, jerked back in shock. She covered her face and peered between splayed fingers, her cheeks and ears instantly going scarlet.

"W-Wanda-san?!"

After a few seconds, Wanda lowered her shirt and stepped over Hiro, turning around to face the other direction before bending down again to scrutinize him.

"Wan... no reaction," she announced. "He's not [Paralyzed], at least."

With a shrug, she hopped back to her side of the cart, giving one last glance at the empty pudding bucket before lobbing it from the back of the cart.

"W-why would you even know how to check for that?!" Bonbon asked, steam rising from her face.

"Safe, sane, consensual, wan." Wanda responded cryptically, refusing to elaborate further.

The pair stood staring at the young man, who seemed, in all ways, to be more or less frozen in time. A quiet settled over them, broken only by the gentle stirring of the wind, and the occasional squawk, grunt, or scream of the random encounters and animals moving about the plains.

"Maybe I could... try to make some kind of a food with a [Panacea] effect?" Bonbon suggested.

"We can just leave him like that, wan," Wanda shrugged. "He'll probably go back to normal eventually."

"That would be quieter," Bonbon admitted. She looked towards the horizon, where the sun was just beginning to dip into the valley beyond the mountain range. "But... we should make camp anyways. It's dangerous to travel at night. I'd rather have Hiro-san awake to fight off anything that might attack us."

Bonbon hopped off the cart, stretching her arms and legs.

"We should unpack our supplies, and set up the campsite."

"Wan!" Wanda barked, peering over the edge of the cart at her. "What supplies?"

Bonbon froze, looking back at the doggirl, who she recalled had spent most of their provisioning supplies on alcohol and junk food.

"Wait... that's right..." she realized, placing her hand on her hat. "Hiro-san said that he could use his [Skills] to set up the campsite. So..."

She looked over at the rigid adventurer, falling silent. She hadn't even bothered to buy a tent. She'd wanted to, but Wanda had made continuous inarticulate noises at her and prodded her with her fingers until she'd handed the money over for more booze. After all, Wanda had said, she could just have Hiro get "tent vision", whatever that meant.

His nigh-omnipotence was frightening, but... had she already come to rely on it?

"So...." Wanda said, drumming her claws on the side of the cart. "Should we keep going, wan?"

Bonbon sighed again. She didn't look forward to sleeping on the hard ground. Her bed back home had 40 mattresses, as was tradition, so she needed at least a little bit of padding to really get a good night's sleep. Traveling at night was dangerous, but there'd probably be an Inn or something before too long. What were the odds that they'd get attacked on their very first night on the road?

"Alright..." Bonbon sighed, again again. "Let's get going."

The moon was rising over the domain of the newly-christened King Chad, and the Valley Elves had cause to celebrate. Their last raid had gone swimmingly. They'd even managed to steal a wagonful of pillows and negligee that had been heading to the All-Female Paladin Order, for their third annual Order-Wide Pillowfight Battle Royale. That was sure to be disastrous for their enemy's morale. Another successful mark in their long campaign.

An assortment of mounted Valley Elves stood atop the hilltops overlooking one of the roads. They were all blonde and beautiful, which kind of goes without saying, because I mean, they're Elves. But they were also dangerous, and the look in their eyes was both casually bored in a practiced way, and hungry. They shifted eagerly in their saddles as they awaited their leader's command.

For now, they had to be careful of Paladin patrols, but soon- once King Chad's plan unfolded- they'd have full rein of the area. The [Raid Leader], Heather DuBois, looked down on a lone wagon making its way along the road. An easy target. She blew a bubble with her bubble gum, which caught the moonlight for just a moment before it popped. She chewed her gum noisily, hefting her warhammer onto her shoulder.

The humans still dared to travel the roads at night, did they? They'd fix that attitude, soon enough. She raised her hand, signalling to the rest of her raid party to get ready to move. She spurred her bright-pink Rockatiel, guiding her mount down the side of the cliff. One by one, the rest of her riders fell into sequence behind her. Their formation was as coordinated as the color of their mounts' feathers, a neon-pink arrows cutting silently through the night towards their prey.

Whatever unfortunate souls were in that cart, they were about to have a totally bad time. Death and ruin was coming to them, whether they knew it or not.

Because nobody escaped from Heather and the Mean Girls.