"Everyone, you did well!" I smiled and clapped, inconspicuously making my way to my staff and managers.

"Bye, Jungwon!" Ae cha spoke from the other corner of the room, making me nod with a smile.

"Here's your phone." My manager suddenly handed it to me with a content facial expression, making me raise an eyebrow in suspicion.

"What did you do with it?" I joked and shrugged, swiftly unlocking it.

What?

"Wait..Something's wrong." I mumbled to myself after my manager started the engine of our company car to drive me back to our dorm.

"Ah, you mean something is right?" The adult cackled, looking at himself proudly in the rear-view mirror, "I deleted the saesang's number already. There's nothing left for you to worry ab-"

What..?

"Saesang?" My voice was full of disbelief, "What saesang?"

"I've been watching you. You've been looking at your phone with a worried face for a while now." My manager looked a little less content now, unsure, "Next time you can tell me right away if something like this happens.."

I realized then.

He didn't delete a saesang's number, no.

The reason why I was staring at my phone...

The reason why I was so absent the past few days...

He deleted her number.

I inhaled deeply, "There never was a saesang harming me in any way."

"What do you mean?"

The whole drive was filled with tension that was mostly coming from me after I explained everything to him in the most compressed way possible.

Of course, I left out the part how I fell in love with her.

How I skipped dance practices in the past to talk to her and how I want her to be happy. How hard I'm trying and-

Actually, I left out a lot.

"I didn't know..." He mumbled, "You can just go ask her to give you her number again, right?"

That's when I remembered.

I memorized her number before!

Quickly typing in her number after a second of hesitation at each digit, I immediately wrote her messages, ignoring the fact that I was supposed to distance myself from her.

But of course, life can't be that simple.

For some reason, none of my messages were getting delivered.

"Did you block her?" My voice wasn't angry.

At least I tried to conceal it, and the exposed look on the adult's face didn't help at all.

He looked down, "Yes. And I...reported the number."

"What?!" My eyes widened, "You reported her? You've got to be kidding me!"

No wonder I couldn't send any messages to her.

She's probably being investigated right now!

"You were acting so suspicious!"

"But that doesn't mean-" I stopped midway sentence and let out a sigh, letting my head fall backwards onto my seat. I was so tired.

This can't be happening.

The next few minutes, the ride was filled with silence.

I was desperately scrolling through my phone, through any social medias sites searching for her name and through my call history, but she was nowhere to be found.

What if she finally wrote me a text while I was busy filming?

What if she became worried when I didn't answer right away?

"Don't you think...you are kinda overreacting?" My manager suddenly spoke up, making me glance at him in surprise.

Again, I couldn't bring myself to answer, but just sigh.

Because he was right.

Yes, yes I was overreacting.

I was being unnecessarily dramatic.

Ji might be in her home right now, getting the healing time she deserved and being carefree and happy even with us not texting or talking.

But what if that's not the case?

What if she needed me right now?

If our only connection, which was in fact our chat, were to be taken from me, we might never text again.

She might never find me again and I could never find her. She can't reach out to me and I can't reach out to her.

The only thing she would be left with is the fact that she had been blocked.

That's when a thought struck me.

There was one lead that I had left.

"Please, drive me to the convenience store that's the closest to our company." I tightly grabbed the driver's front seat, my face was serious.

"What? Wh-"

"Now."

He blocked me.

Jungwon, blocked me.

I looked outside the window, my eye lids were getting heavy from staying awake for so long.

"You have to sleep..." I mumbled to myself, gritting my teeth as I pressed my fists tightly onto my face in an attempt to knock myself out.

Why wasn't it working?

My hand unconsciously went over to my phone which was laying on my night stand. I was being extra careful, trying not to wake up the little cat sleeping soundly next to me.

23:02.

That's not too late, is it?

No messages. No calls. Just like how things used to be. Sitting up painfully, I pulled the blanket closer to my body to fight the coldness creeping up my neck.

I've been feeling extra lonely in the four walls I was in these past few days. Thoughts have been piling up.

There are too many of them.

That's when I caught myself thinking about that one name I told myself not to think of.

Why did Jungwon block me?

I wanted to not care. I wanted to be glad.

But I just didn't understand.

Did he get tired of me?

"No, No, No, Stop...Stop." I took my pillow and put it over my head. I couldn't do this to myself.

Not here. Not now when I was just trying to sleep.

I heaved another heavy sigh and finally shut my eyes.

Once again, I attempted to make all the millions of disconnected thoughts stirring around in my head disappear. I tried to sort them all out and think of them as empty clouds.

But why isn't it working?

"Ah, fuck." My eyes fluttered open. I tried to brush through my matted hair, feeling like crying again.

Why did I text him in the first place knowing that things would end one day?

Why did I keep going?

Why would I torture myself like that when I knew better?

I wanted to puke. I wanted to scream and cry.

But I've done all of the things for the past few days already without a sign of stopping. And it wasn't working either. I wasn't feeling better.

"But I wanted to get better..." I mumbled to myself, glancing outside my window again. The first tear of the night slipped down my scratched face.

For god's sake, Why was I acting like an attention-seeker?

Except one difference - I was getting no attention.

I was just seeking.

And as the attention-seeker I was, I wanted to text Jungwon. I didn't even want him to listen to me.

I just wanted him to be there. To hold me. Reassure me.

Was it okay for me to think this? To want this?

"No, you can't...You can't." I reminded myself, shaking my head vigorously as I grabbed the pills and the water bottle on my night stand with shaky hands.

The salty tears rolling down my face were leaving a burning my roughened lips.

I promised Jungwon to come back as a better person.

But I haven't changed yet.

I was still the same.

I was still miserable.

There was no light in my room. Except for the moon, nothing in my room shone. Woncat, who had noticed my shuffling had woken up from her sleep and snuggled closer to me. She must have sensed my despair. My feeling of down.

That's when my phone display lit up, filling my room with light for a split second. It was like it read my mind. About how much I needed a reason and excuse to check my phone.

What if it was Jungwon?

Hope took over my mind as I quickly grabbed my phone, not caring about how the display brightness was burning my eyes.

And to my surprise, I was wrong.

_

:

i know what you are doing

:

what a cunning bitch you are

:

jungwon will never be yours

:

stop sucking up to him it's so fucking gross

:

why do people like you get the chance to speak to him and others who deserve it don't?

:

does that make sense to you?

:

you have to know your place in this world

:

i will find you don't underestimate me

:

it's a piece of cake for me especially when it comes to people like you

:

i will make sure you die and disappear forever

:

like your sister did

_

I was too shocked to react when suddenly my door bell rang.

Woncat jumped off my bed and ran towards the door as if it was something she had been waiting for, as I cursed to myself. I was still hung up about the messages I received, as I tried to calm down by telling myself that the stranger was just trolling, joking around to scare me.

But how the fuck did they know about my family?

The doorbell rang again.

I wanted to ignore it, but when it rang the third time something in me was urging me to go see who it was.

Was it...the unknown person perhaps? The one who wrote me all these hateful messages?

I jumped to my feet, hurriedly took my jacket and threw it over my shoulders, before quickly walking to my door. It was too dark outside for me to look through the window to see who it was. And it was quiet. But I recognized a silhouette.

What if it was really the stranger who texted me?

Suddenly a shiver ran down my spine. I was scared.

Another ring.

Whoever that was was more than desperate.

My hands were shaking, but I managed to look through the door's spy just right.

My breath stopped. I couldn't believe my eyes.

No way. No fucking way.

"Jungwon? What the fuck are you doing here?"