《SIN-BIN》29. Because I Want To
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Just a second... I needed just a second to lose my shit and turn into a submissive bimbo. What is so special about this guy? Like really? He's the only one who affects me the way he does. The only one who gets under my skin with such ease that it scares me to death. The only one whose kisses keep me awake at night. Just kisses, nothing more! It's so fucked up! I can't even think straight when he's around.
"Put me down." I tell him like a thousand times, and he only shrugs. "Colton, I'm serious. Put me down right now."
"Why?" He asks, meeting my gaze for a moment.
What does he mean? He has been carrying me for 10 minutes already, absolutely unaffected as if I'm lighter than a feather. I didn't notice even a drop of sweat on his forehead, or him shifting his hands. Nothing. He is acting as if it's the most natural thing in the world! Ugh! I hate him!
Or not. I don't know how I feel about him anymore. He's giving me whiplash, being hot and cold whatever suits him better at the moment. Plus his reputation and everything I already know about him. Why is he so fixated on me? Why is he here when he can have any girl he wants? It doesn't make any sense, at all.
I sneak a glance at him, raking my gaze over his face. He's so stunning that I get tingles all over my skin just looking at him. Deep brown eyes with his long thick eyelashes, straight nose and full lips with strong jawline. He spends a lot of his time outside because I notice a scattering of freckles on his nose. It makes him somehow cute, like another thing that makes him real and down-to-earth. I also have them during each summer, just because I'm not a homebody. I love going places, preferring outdoor activities over spending time behind closed doors. Is he the same? Or not? I know almost nothing about him, and I also did nothing to change it. Miscommunication is a bitch, and it's our fault we let it happen.
"Colton, I'm not going to run away." Hearing that, he focuses his attention on me, slowing down just a bit. "You can put me down."
"Do you think that's the reason? That I'm afraid you will run away from me?" His voice is full of amusement, and I pinch my brows together.
"Why else?"
"Because I want to." He chuckles, eyes glimmering with mischief. My heartbeat accelerates and butterflies in my belly decide to throw a party. It's the only explanation I have for the flutters I feel. It's insanity!
I sigh, tightening my grip around his shoulders. I lower my sight to his mouth again, admiring the lopsided grin that still plays across his lips. He's even more attractive and carefree, not the usual broody and moody Colton Thompson I know. He's really different when he's with me. As long as I don't say anything that makes him cringe and angry, at least it's something I gathered about him. Hm... why does his bottom lip look puffy?
Without thinking, I press my fingers to his mouth and trace his bottom lip with my thumb. He grimaces when I touch a puffy spot. "Did someone punch you?"
"Your friend did."
"Drake?" I ask and he suddenly snorts. "What's so funny?"
"Because you guessed right away who punched me in the face." Colton smiles, drawing me closer. "You really are just friends, aren't you?"
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"Duh, of course! Hooking up with him was great, but..." I blurt, noticing him furrowing his brow. He's jealous and my mood suddenly improves a ton. "I don't want to lose my best friend over something that doesn't mean anything to me."
The corners of his mouth quirk a little, as he tries to fight his smile. "Good to know."
"Though maybe I already lost her." I mutter under my breath, watching his reaction. "Because of you."
"What did I do this time?"
"Grace and I got into an argument tonight," I say and to my surprise he nods his head, urging me to continue. Does that mean he was watching me? This realization causes my butterflies to lose the rest of their minds. This bacchanalia sends shivers all over my body, setting my skin on fire. The things he makes me feel are unique and unforgettable. I have never felt the way I do now. "I called her a snake for sleeping with you, and she called me out for advising you to sleep with someone close to Layla. She said I'm partly responsible too."
"What?! That's bullshit!" Colton argues, baring his teeth and narrowing his eyes. "You suggested it but it was on me, I made that decision."
"Exactly, Colt." I peer him in the eyes, taking a deep breath. "I said that to you in a private conversation. Why did you think it would be okay to tell her that?"
"Shit." He looks away, clenching his jaw. "I'm sorry, Ava."
"Your sorry doesn't really fix anything. Layla is angry with me, and... Look, Benson has been my best friend as long as I can remember. I can deal with any shit for her, and the only reason why I told you that is because I thought it would help her. She was crushing on you hard and you were clearly not interested. It was just a matter of time before things blew up, and I wanted to make it easier for her. And I did... her crush disappeared into thin air as if it never was there, but... I would have preferred for her to never know about my words."
"Grace was doing my head in that night at my place, and I blurted out your words without thinking..." Colton falls quiet for a moment, sweeping his gaze over my face. "Clay knows too."
"God, you are way more talkative than I thought!" A moment of silence and we both burst out laughing. My irritation slowly evaporates, being replaced with warmth and happiness. Even if it was him who told Grace about my words, I should have known better in the first place. I barely knew him and I never really said it was a secret.
"I'm sure Layla will forgive you." He chimes in, smiling at me gently. "I saw her watching you as you were walking down the stairs. It didn't really look like she was still angry with you."
"As long as snakey Grace stays away, I will be able to make things right with my bestie." I exclaim confidently and he smirks, rolling his eyes. "Why did you choose her?"
Colton halts in his tracks, a puzzled look crossing his features. "Grace?"
"Yeah." I hiss, twisting my lips in an annoyed pout.
"She just happened to be there. Nothing else. I saw you leaving with Drake, and when I looked away I noticed her all alone and your words came back to me. I didn't really think about it." He shrugs his shoulders, taking a few steps forward and lowering me to my feet. He fishes for his keys from his pocket and meets my gaze again. "She actually tried to talk me out of it... because she thought I liked you."
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I chew my bottom lip, as he opens the door. She tried to talk him out of it? She thought he liked me? Ha! How convenient! Instead of making the decision herself as a real friend would have, she wanted him to do it for her. To shirk responsibility from herself. Only someone very selfish would have done that. Someone who never had real friends. Dumb bitch!
"Ava?" I blink away my daze and focus my attention on Colton.
"Yeah?"
He doesn't say a thing, carefully taking my palm and pulling me to him. I stumble, placing my hand on his chest to steady myself. Though, who am I kidding? Touching him feels like a dream come true. In every aspect of the word.
"Come with me." And my panties are a hot wet mess, damn him. I suck in breath, my lips parting as I stare at him from under my eyelashes. Colton grins and leans to my ear. "Come for me could be arranged too. But, only later. First I want to talk to you."
"Suuuure," I mumble, licking my lips. "Talk."
Thompson sighs, raising his eyes to the sky for a brief moment. "If I wanted to fuck you, I would have done it already. I wouldn't have brought you to my place. More so I wouldn't have carried you here. Any dark alley would have worked. Or a car."
"Who said I'm interested?" I arch my eyebrow, putting up a brave face.
"Your pulse." I slide my gaze to my wrist, only now acknowledging that his hand is wrapped around it. "And probably your panties."
Smartass moron! I push him away and saunter inside his building, as he holds the door open. I walk up the stairs, heading to his apartment as if I had been here a thousand times before. He stays behind me and I'm sure he's enjoying the view. His gaze is on my back, and it truly affects me more than any physical contact. Just the knowledge that he's watching me.
Once we're inside his apartment, I take off my boots and my jacket, putting it on a hanger. I hesitate for a second and Colt presses his palm to my lower back. "Do you want anything to eat?"
"No, thank you."
He shrugs and ushers me to the living room, turning on the lights as we step into the room. The last time I was here with Clay and I thought he would be my friend. I heave a sigh and shake my head, trying to get rid of my memories. Only when he fulfills his part of the bet will I think about forgiving him. I'm too revengeful to let it slip just because. As Petyr Baelish once said, I have always found revenge to be the purest of motivations. It has never failed me.
"What about a beer?"
"No. I had enough at the party." I tell him, edging closer to the couch and plopping myself down on it. Colton joins me and turns to have a better look at me. I have a question for him, and without waiting for him to take the lead, I push the ball into his court. "What happened at the movies?"
"Meaning?" Colt leans his side on the couch, propping his head on his hand.
"I gave you a blowjob, and you ignored me after. Brushed me off. Pushed me away. Whatever you want to call it, it stays the same. You left me... being cold and distant."
"Didn't I tell you I liked kissing you? That you didn't owe me anything?"
"You did." I agree, shifting a little to take an invisibobble from my purse. I collect my hair and twist it into a bun, securing it with my hair ring. "Though, let's be honest, you weren't really convincing... and you enjoyed it."
"It was one of the best blow jobs I have ever had." One of? This dude doesn't know how to lie? "It was hard to enjoy it after I realized you were with me only because you thought you owe me something. Only because you wanted to reciprocate."
"Colton, you need to know one thing about me." I point my finger at him. "I NEVER do anything I don't want to."
He gawks at me, biting his inner cheek. I wait, letting my words sink in. He's a smart boy, it shouldn't take him too long. When he finally starts smiling, I know he understands. "Now I feel like a complete jerk."
"As you should." I lift my shoulder in a tiniest shrug. "Why instead of saying hi did you give me the cold shoulder on Wednesday? Why didn't you read my message when I made an effort on Friday?"
"Because I saw you with Drake." He muses quietly, while my jaw drops open. It takes everything onto the next level. A level I never expected to reach with him... because he's Colton motherfucking Thompson!
"And?" I press, trying to figure out what that means in the long run. Or more like, do I really want to believe in what he's saying? Because if yes... oh my fucking God!
"I thought you were going to hook up with him again." His voice drops an octave lower, while I want to laugh. His words from earlier come back to me, making total sense.
"Did you say something to Drake about that? About me being in his car? Did you call me names?"
"That's what I always do. Say something mean and offensive-"
"To push people away. Not to let them get closer... not to let them see the real you." Colton swallows soundly, looking uncomfortable. "You really need to do something about this habit of yours. Not everyone has the patience of an angel. I definitely don't."
"You have no idea how sorry I am for making you feel bad about yourself by assuming you slept with Baker, for not letting you know myself about the bet and... being a fucking moron anytime I can't handle my emotions. Your college experience really wasn't a nice one because of me and my actions." It means a lot that he says it. The first step in fixing things is to make sure you understand your mistakes. I only hope the honesty I hear in his voice and see in his eyes is real.
"Thanks." I speak softly. "I'm not a saint either, and can be really mean and vengeful too-"
"You're a tornado. That's what Drake called you not so long ago."
"That's what my dad says." I cackle, at once breaking into a yawn. Damn! What time is it? It was past 2am when I last checked my phone, taking Baker's picture.
"If I knew you would be that sleepy, I would have kidnapped you earlier." Colt comments, standing up from the couch and extending his hand to me. And just like that, I'm nervous. What does it all mean? "You're not sleeping on the couch."
I take his outstretched palm, letting him pull me to my feet. "I can go back to my dorm, and sleep in my bed."
"No." Firm. With a pinch of finality. Steely. Colton doesn't expect objections. He's sure I will stay.
"I don't really take orders."
"It's not an order." He takes a step forward, still holding my hand in his. "Please, Ava, stay."
That's better... or not. He makes me doubt my feelings. My cravings. My usual likings. His roughness in the movies turned me on more than anything else, and that's new for me. I prefer to be in control, to be the one who orchestrates everything... Colton Thompson turns me into someone very different, without even trying, with just being by my side.
"Okay." I lace my fingers through his and his Adam apple bobbs up and down. Finding his weak spots is exhilarating and invigorating. I want to know more about him, about his habits and addictions. I want to know him. The real him.
Colton slowly ambles to his bedroom, making me follow him. Opening the door, he lingers in the doorframe, looking at me sideways. "Just to be clear. I'm not taking you in my room to have sex."
"Should I be offended?" I tease him, cocking an eyebrow in question.
"You look tired." He cups my cheek with his hand, bending his head down. "Even if it would be flattering if you pass out while I fuck you, that's not how I want our first time to be."
Colt kisses my nose, leans away and walks into his bedroom. I step inside, just doing everything he tells me. My mind drifts back and forth between his words, and the more I absorb them, the more my amusement grows. He said 'our first time'. First! He doesn't want it to be a one-time thing. He doesn't want it to be his usual... but what does that mean for me?
"Here." Something soft is pushed into my hands, and I return to reality. "You can sleep in this."
"Thanks." I head to his bed, noticing him retreating to the door with a blanket under his armpit. "Where are you going?"
"I have zero self-control when you're around." He puts his hand on the doorknob, holding my gaze. "I'll sleep on the couch."
"That is the shittiest excuse ever."
"Well, the shittiest or not, it's the truth." Colton winks, taking a step outside the room. "Breakfast is on me."
With that he closes the door behind him, leaving me irritated and also horny. I understand where he's coming from, and I really want to sleep, but it doesn't make his behavior less confusing. What is going to happen in the morning? After breakfast? Is he going to fuck me later? Or send me home? Or what?!
I put his t-shirt on the bed and quickly go to wash my face. The rest of the apartment is plunged into darkness and quiet, so I try to move without a sound. He can't be already asleep, but I don't want to draw his attention to me either. My state is messy, plus I am yawning non-stop. If anything, it will be really way way better to face him when I'm rested.
Closing the door, I trudge to his bed and quickly change my clothes. His tee is long and soft, covering my ass completely. Not that I'm surprised, he's an incredibly tall guy, while I'm just 5'6. I slip under the covers and nestle comfortably, huddling like a baby. I feel secure when he's around, protected and it's something that I feel even being in his room. Alone. I drift off to sleep way sooner than I thought.
Quietly tiptoeing out of the bedroom, I hope to catch him off guard. It's 9am, and I honestly don't expect him to be up... but I'm wrong. The sound comes first, followed by a delicious aroma. He did say breakfast is on him, so it explains why he's already cooking.
I smile to myself, stepping into the kitchen and I freeze. This is not what I expected for sure. Colton is frying eggs for us, wearing only his briefs. Suddenly, I have lost my appetite... while my infatuation with him is only growing. I'm not leaving this apartment without him fucking my brains out. No fucking way!
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