Finney: IM IN SO MUCH PAIN

Robin: I JUST SNEEZED AND ALMOST PASSED OUT

Vance: what is wrong with you two

Griffin: they're sick boo's

Gwen: they're what now

Griffin: sick boo's

Gwen: i hope you get sick

Griffin: jokes on you bc then YOUD get sick

Finney: i hate school i wanna go home

Gwen: YOU HAVE AN 101 FEVER WHY R U AT SCHOOL

Vance: it's literally the day before christmas eve why do we HAVE school

Robin: the world doesn't revolve around you white boy shut the hell up

Vance: which one of us is sick rn

Robin: which one of us looks like casper the ghost

Gwen: griffin

Griffin:

Robin: nah bro pulled out godzilla

Billy: take your damn meds and go to sleep

Bruce: guys i fucked up

Vance: YOU CHEATED ON ME????

Bruce: WHAT.

Vance: WITH MY SISTER??????

Bruce: WHAT SISTER.

Bruce: NO I WAS JUST RIDING MY BIKE

Vance: oh god that's significantly worse.

Robin: questionable

Robin: bruce carry on

Bruce: so i didn't see the

Bruce: long story short i flew off my bike and broke my leg

Gwen: just walk it off

Bruce: what

Griffin: you heard her

Vance: BRUCE WHYS THERE A BABY CRYING IN UR LIVING ROOM

Bruce: oh that's my moms brothers sisters brothers sons sister

Robin: so your cousin??

Bruce: yea

Bruce: CAN U FEED HER

Vance: FINE WHERES THE FORMULA

Griffin: Chill plankton

Vance: ?

Gwen:

Vance: WHAT THE FUCK

Gwen: we got u him for christmas

Vance: if i see a three inch present under my tree i'm leaving

Griffin: 3 INCH????

Gwen: plankton is 6 feet at LEAST

Vance: WTF KIND OF PLANKTON ARE U GUYS DEALING WITH

Griffin: the alpha

Vance: 😧?

Gwen: jk its just robin painted green

Robin: i'm sorry what?

Gwen: don't worry we'll knock you out beforehand

Robin: WHAT

Robin: FINNEY

Griffin: you're too late

Robin: WHATD U DO TO HIM.

Finney: Hi I'm Finney, and I'll be your friend 'till the end!

Robin: OH HELL NO

Vance: LMFAOOOO SUCK IT

Robin: where's your dad

Finney: 🫢

Vance: where's YOUR dad

Finney: 🫢

Robin:💥💀⚰️

Vance: 🤬🏃👟

Griffin: you've lost me

Vance: 🥛

Griffin: OHHHHH

Billy: i too love a glass of milk

Bruce: what the fuck is wrong with you

Bruce: never say something like that again

Billy: okay vance give bruce his phone back

Bruce: no billy

Bruce: this IS bruce

Billy: 😨

Gwen: ITS CHRISTMAS EVE

Griffin: WE WISH U A MERRY CHRISTMAS WE WISH U A MERRY CHRISTMAS

Billy: oh yeah since ur guys' birthday is on the 31st i'm going to have to combine your christmas gift with ur bday gift

Griffin: what is wrong with you

Gwen: don't joke about something like that

Billy: HUH

Gwen: no we're dead serious that wasn't funny at all

Billy: I WASNT JOKING

Gwen: alr

Gwen: check under your pillow tonight

Griffin: or don't

Billy: I DONT HAVE MONEY

Gwen: DONT TELL ME UR JUST THROWING AROUND NEWSPAPERS FOR FUN

Finney: my nose is so stuffy

Vance: punch it

Bruce: NO

Bruce: I FELL FOR THAT DONT FALL FOR IT TOO FINNEY

Robin: why on earth would finney fall for that

Robin: why on earth did YOU fall for that

Finney: FUDGE NOW MY NOSE IS BLEEDING

Robin: nvm

Vance: it never gets old

Billy: bruce are you going to wait up to see santa

Bruce: i hope you get coal for christmas

Billy: 😨

Gwen: SVERYONE TO MY HOUSE IN 10 MINUTES

Griffin: WAKE THE FUCK UP OR I'LL SEND ROBIN ON YOU

Robin: whatz plstnet an i son

Gwen: BE MORE SCARY

Robin: DONT SCREm ag ME I'KL CRYK

Griffin: good god

Bruce: ITS 5 IN THE MORNING

Bruce: OH MY GOD ITS CHRISTMAS

Robin: idrs 5 intbrhe meojeign

Robin: i jsdy reied to capifxlIe a numenr

Finney: go back to sleep babe

Vance: WHAT IS HE SAYIFN???

Finney: HE TRIED TO CAPITZAIXE A NUMBER

Billy: you're all delusional

Gwen: WE'RE GOING SLEDDING BC THE RAIN FROZE OVER INTO ICE AND WE CAN GO SUPER FAST

Vance: OH HAVE FUN

Griffin: so you're just gonna let two 11 year olds sled around at 5 am in pitch black alone

Vance: oh FUCK

Vance: FINNEY

Gwen: asleep

Vance: ROBIN

Griffin: he's worse than us

Vance: BRUCE

Gwen: we buried him in snow

Vance: ..?

Griffin: he ran out of his house singing jingle bells so we had to take matters into our own hands

Vance: JESUS 😨

Vance: i'll be there in a sec

Vance: GUYS GUYS GUYS

Finney: ITS BEEN 30 MINUTES WHAT COULDVE POSSIBLY HAPPENED

Gwen: famous last words

Billy: I JUST GOT BACK TO SLEEP

Vance: GRIFFIN AND GWEN WENT SLEDDING DOWN THE ICE AND THERE WAS A ROCK ON GRIFFINS SIDE AND HE WENT FLYING SOMEWHERE AND WE CANT FIND HIM

Finney: i'm going back to bed

Vance: we also lost robin in the woods trying to find him

Finney: WHAT.

Gwen: WHY THE FUCK WERE U LOOKING IN THE WOODS DUMBASS

Vance: YOU SAID "GO LOOK IN THE WOODS WHILE I STAY HERE"

Gwen: OH MY GOD I SAID "GO LOOK AT HIS HOUSE WHILE I STAY HERE"

Vance: oh i'll brb

Vance: yeah he's there playing super smash bros

Gwen: WOAH WAIT TELL HIM NOT TO START ANOTHER GAME WITHOUT ME.

Vance: OKAY

Gwen: im still up and i feel like we forgot something

Billy: NO UR PROBS JUST EXCITED FOR CHRISTMAS GO TO BED

Gwen: OK FINE GN

Griffin: NIGHT NIGHT

Gwen: OH MY GOD WE FORGOT BRUCE.

authors note:

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE WHO CELEBRATES!! I HOPE EVERYONE HAD A GOOD DAY REGARDLESS!! this chapter is kind of rushed and chaotic but is that necessarily a bad thing?? (gaslighting you)

i posted a video on tiktok for christmas too, so go look at that if you're intrested!!